SBC Executive Committee Correspondence

As people have signed up for the direct action in June in St. Louis, we have assigned them a specific member of the SBC Executive Committee to begin correspondence with, as part of our ongoing dialogue. Here are a few of the letters that have been sent to date:

Dr. Denison, I hope this message reaches you. I went to your web site to obtain your e-mail address, and could not locate it. I realize this is not the ideal way to contact you. I have been receiving your devotionals for about two years now, and always look forward to what you have to say. I appreciate the way you allow yourself to be led of God, and your willingness to share your insight with others.

I believe you stated in one of your recent devotionals that you considered the recently elected president of the Southern Baptist Convention, Jack Graham, to be a personal friend of yours. I am a Baptist, have been a Baptist all of my life, and am currently a member of the First Baptist Church of Tyler, TX. I am also a member of Soulforce, the group of about 200 who demonstrated at the St. Louis convention. I would welcome the opportunity to sit down and visit with you, with Jack Graham, or with the two of you together some time--to explain my story and why I participate in Soulforce. Participants' stories are as varied as the individuals involved in Soulforce, and yet the majority of us are Christians and many were raised Baptist. Few, however, have remained in the Baptist church. I am one of those few.

I would willingly drive to your office whenever you could give me the time.

Your sister in Christ,

Mr. A. Dean Nichols,
My name is Antonio Cardona and I'd like to tell you a little bit about myself. I live in Minneapolis, Minnesota and attend the University of Minnesota. I am majoring in Global Studies with a thematic emphasize on Governance, Peace and Justice. My main goal is to work for non-profit organizations working with social justice or international human rights. My interest in good human relations is extremely important to my goal of creating a peaceful and united world. This is why I am writing to you.

For 5 years, I have been a Bible believing Christian. I was saved when I was 16 years old and have taken my faith in Jesus Christ very seriously. Though my faith seems to constantly be in question by others due to the fact I am a gay man, I stay strong. God has shown me nothing but blessings and love and I want to do His work for the rest of my life. This is why I am contacting you.

It is very clear to me that Southern Baptist teachings are not open to homosexuality. I have researched past and present Southern Baptist stances on gay issues and I strongly disagree with them. It is unfair to paint a negative picture of all gay men and women as interpreted by Southern Baptist policies. People who have no connection to openly gay and lesbian people will only look at Southern Baptist policies and come to wrong and very hurtful conclusions. The truth is that gays and lesbians have been very dedicated to the church throughout history. Not only that, but we have continually promoted the church with our artwork, our music, and our teaching just as you have.

When I was 17, I worked for a Youth for Christ branch as the student director of advertising and event planning. For a year, I volunteered part-time. I planned many large events for them, the last being a nation wide campaign to raise a $1 million. In the midst of this campaign, I came out to my boss and was immediately dismissed. The million-dollar goal was never reached. My experience is sad for me to think about still, but ultimately, it has made me stronger.

I was dismissed because this religious organization has a policy that says homosexuality is not compatible with Christianity. Even though I had worked with the entire staff for a year and had continually shown my faith and dedication, that wasn't enough to keep them from turning their backs on me.

Right now, there is too much pain directed at gays and lesbians by church policies. That's why I urge you to please learn the truth about gay and lesbian issues. Talk to other gay and lesbian people. Pray about it. I have prayed about it extensively, and I have come to find that my sexuality is a gift from God just as much as my ability to play the piano is a gift from God.

I will be in St Louis during the Southern Baptist Convention in a week. I am aware that you are on the Executive Committee and I would love to meet with you and talk face to face. Please contact me if you are interested in doing so.

Your brother in Christ,
Antonio Cardona

May 29, 2002

Rev. Donald Cotton

Dear Rev. Cotton:
My name is Mike Castle and I currently serve as the pastor of Cross Creek Community Church, United Church of Christ in Centerville, Ohio (a suburb of Dayton). As a Christian minister and a gay man, I will be joining Soulforce at the Southern Baptist Convention in St. Louis to bring the truth in love to you and all Southern Baptists concerning the tragic consequences and un-Christlike nature of your teachings and actions against God's gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) children and to seek to negotiate an end to those teachings and actions.

I grew up as a Southern Baptist in Ohio. I came to know Jesus through the witness of the Parsons Road Baptist Church and Walnut Heights Baptist Church in Columbus, Ohio. It was through Southern Baptist churches and summer camps that I sensed God's call to Christian ministry. I graduated from Samford University (Bachelor of Music Education, 1985), attended Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary (1987-1988), and graduated from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary (Master of Divinity, 1991). I was licensed to the gospel ministry as a teenager by the Brookside Baptist Church in Reynoldsburg, Ohio in 1978 and was ordained to the gospel ministry by the Jersey Baptist Church of Pataskala, Ohio in 1989.

I served as the part-time minister of music of the Brookside Baptist Church in Reynoldsburg, Ohio while I was in high school (1978-1981) and the Bethel Baptist Church of Brent, Alabama (1982-1984) while I was in college. I served as the full-time Minister of Youth at the First Baptist Church of Kettering, Ohio following college (1985-1987) and then as the Associate Pastor of the Jersey Baptist Church during and following seminary (1988-1991). I was the organizing and founding pastor of a new Southern Baptist church called the Miami Valley Community Church in Dayton, Ohio, in 1992 and served as its pastor until 1995.

As you can see, I am a product of Southern Baptist life. I will always cherish my life and ministry in the Southern Baptist Church and for the Christian faith it birthed and nurtured within me. However, in the spring of 1995, I was removed from the Southern Baptist church I pastored and loved simply because I refused to recant that I understood myself to be a gay man, and my lifelong relationship to the Southern Baptist Convention painfully and abruptly came to end. I have known no greater grief in all my life than my firing and "ex-communication" from the Southern Baptist family that nurtured my faith journey for so many years. It ripped at the core of my being!

Please hear me clearly: I did not choose to become gay. Nothing has caused me to be gay. It has simply been a reality in my life from my earliest and understandable recollections. This is also true of my youngest brother, Shawn Castle, who is also a graduate of Samford University and now lives in Birmingham, Alabama. Yes, two out of three boys/siblings in my Southern Baptist family are gay!

I am deeply grieved by the denial of "gay reality" that continues to exist among Southern Baptists. This denial continues to wound God's GLBT children and their families and churches in profound ways: Young people commit suicide. Families are ruined. Good and faithful ministers are fired. Spirits are crippled. On top of all that, American citizens experience violence and gay-bashing simply because they are different (and too often this violence is offered in the name of God and religion) and are denied the full freedoms and "justice for all" that mark this beloved country of ours.

Listen to the stories of GLBT people. They are like my own. They all resonate with a similar refrain, "I didn't choose to be gay...it is just the way it is." Until Southern Baptists can listen and hear these stories without fear as a truthful and honest portrayal of human personhood and experience, there can be no faithful interpretation of Holy Scripture, nor can a helpful theological understanding and Christian ethic be articulated. The more this denial is allowed to fester the more Southern Baptist's anti-gay vitriol increases and mars the ministry, message, and unconditional Love of God we share in Jesus. It's time to stop the denial and welcome the GLBT voice in your midst as a friend, not an enemy!

The deep grief, anger and hurt I experienced when I was, for all practical purposes thrown out of the Southern Baptist house, have found healing in God's amazing grace. But I still grieve for the countless GLBT Southern Baptists and American citizens who live in fear and guilt and experience pain and injustice because of the religious teachings and political influence of Southern Baptists. I cannot in good conscious be silent and ignore what Southern Baptists continue to say and do to harm God's GLBT children. It is nothing less than immoral and quite unChristlike!

I now pastor a new United Church of Christ and Alliance of Baptist congregation for which I have had the privilege of serving as the organizing pastor. We just celebrated our fifth anniversary and are now a healthy, worshipping community of about a 175 people per week, half of which are strait and half of which is GLBT. I witness week after week that the Spirit of God is able to tear down walls that separate and divide and make us one, and that indeed, strait and gay people can worship and serve God together.

In 1996, I celebrated a Service of Holy Union with my life partner, Dan Carl. We are pleased to share a life, a home and a ministry together. This relationship also continues to be an important and abiding grace in my life. And last year, I completed my Doctor of Ministry degree from Eden Theological Seminary (UCC) in St. Louis.

The painful and tragic events of 1995 are now well behind me. Looking back and with all due respect, I really need to thank you and all my Southern Baptist sisters and brothers for setting me free. God has used the tragic events of my departure from Southern Baptist life for good in ways that I could have never imagined and I am one grateful man. I have known the bondage and self-loathing that comes from being hidden and scared in the closet of fear and denial, afraid to name and claim my own sexual orientation. And thankfully, I have also experienced the grace of God and tasted of the Truth that sets one free and I can proclaim to you and all the world: I've been in bondage and I've been free: AND FREE IS BETTER.

In the name of God, and in the name of Jesus who shows us the way of life, please reconsider your anti-gay teachings and attitudes that continue to harm God's GLBT children and demean the name of Jesus. Listen to the stories of God's GLBT children. I beg you, really listen! And please stop refusing to consider the latest psychological, historical, scientific, pastoral, and even biblical evidence. By doing so, you cause great pain to the people you are called to serve and you break the heart of God who has called you to that service.

I pray that you can receive these words with the love in which they are offered. If you would like to discuss this letter, I would be happy and honored to talk with you, or even meet with you while I am in St. Louis. I can be reached at 937-434-4580, or at MDCastle@aol.com. Thank you for your consideration.

Grace and peace,
Rev. Dr. Michael D. Castle
Coordinating Pastor

Rev. Jerry Spencer

Dear Rev. Spencer,
On June 10th I will join with Soulforce to express my concern about the Southern Baptist teachings on homosexuality. It is with some fear and trembling that I approach this because I do not wish to foist my strong Christian beliefs on other Christians who do not agree with me. However, much of the reason that my Christian faith is so important to me is that Jesus taught that we are all created in God's image and are all accepted as God's children. Jesus' words and his life exemplified this, and I am called to follow in his steps.

I could share stories of friends and relatives who, because of their sexual orientation, have been ostracized by their families and separated from their children, even while they continued as beloved spiritual leaders of their churches, but you have heard these before. One of the experiences that finally convinced me that I must take a stand was getting to know gay and lesbian families who have adopted special needs children, some who would otherwise languish in institutions with life threatening diseases. These families send their children to Christian religious schools, hoping in their hearts that someday our churches will welcome them and their children fully as human beings. I realize how strong their own Christian faith must be to subject themselves and their families to the criticism and humiliation they must endure as a result of the church's teaching.

I have found that I can never second-guess God. We celebrate the unfathomable beauty, diversity and interconnectedness of God's creation, but much of God's plan remains a mystery. What hubris for us to think that we know why humans were created with a variety of sexual orientations. Instead of espousing a view that God's creation is sinful, let us work together to search for the reasons that God has chosen to create humans as we are.

Thank you for your time. I know you will be very busy while you are in St. Louis, but if you have any questions about Soulforce and its message, please feel free to call me.

God's blessing on all God's people,
Penny Davis

April 23, 2002

Dr. James Merritt, President
Southern Baptist Convention

My name is Jennifer Riddel, I'm a nurse here in Lynchburg, Va. and was baptized at Thomas Road Baptist Church about 24 years ago. Several days ago I read (online at www.soulforce.org) Karen Weldin's letters to you and your reply. In response, I feel bound by Christian duty (Matthew 18:15), love for you, my brother in Christ, and heartfelt concern that we all learn to love one another as Christ loved us to share some of my thoughts and feelings I've had since reading the correspondence.

First, I would ask you to do a little role-play in your mind. Let's suppose that you are Jesus. You have been asked to come to the home of a man whose daughter is dying and he begged for your help. You set out for the man's house, but have to make your way through a huge crowd of people who are pressing on you from every side. A sick woman, someone who knows she would defile any man she touched, sneaks up behind you to try to steal some of your healing power for herself. Suddenly, you feel that healing power has been taken from you, and you find out that this sick woman was the culprit. What is your reaction to her? Another time, a woman caught red handed in the act of adultery is brought to you by several fine upstanding members of the church who know for sure that this woman has committed a terrible sin and should at the very least be shunned, if not stoned to death. What do you, Jesus, tell them to do and what do you say to the woman? Yet another time, you as Jesus, are resting by a well, tired and thirsty. Along comes someone who is an outcast of society and your church, a Samaritan, and a mere woman at that. Being Jesus, you also know that this woman is living a totally sinful lifestyle. Here is your chance to tell her just how contemptible she is and that she has no right to even come near you until she changes her ways. What do you do, Jesus? Now imagine a time when a woman writes to you and tells you that she is doing things that she knows the rules of your church strictly forbid. She pours out her heart to you, tells you of the enormous pain she has suffered at the hands of other members of your church. She bares her open wounds to you and asks you for compassion. How would Jesus respond?

This woman's name is Karen. She wrote to you, the head of your church and her church. She poured out her soul to you and asked you for the kind of compassion Jesus showed to all those who came to him. He never rejected anyone regardless of their sins and modeled mercy and love for all. It didn't seem to matter to him how "bad" the leaders of the church or society thought the outcasts were, or how justifiably they had been marginalized. Jesus broke down all barriers to demonstrate that loving one another is more important than anything else. Jesus never said anything against homosexuality, but I'm sure that he would not reject homosexuals since he didn't reject even lepers. Please re-read Karen Weldin's letters to you, reflecting on the Biblical stories I have mentioned. Ask yourself what Jesus would have said and done if he had received them. What might his letter back to Karen have said? Pretend you are Jesus, and write what you think he would say to her.

I see prejudice as a double-edged sword. We sometimes fail to see that it hurts "us" who hold it as much as it does "them". Believing we are right in our judgments, we burden our hearts. We see other sinners as somehow less deserving of the kind of love Jesus lived and taught. We forget that they, too, are God's children, and that God loves "them" just as much as he loves "us". In our hearts and minds, "they" become somehow less human than "us". We begin to treat them inhumanely. In our prejudice and belief that we are right, we become inhumane and hard-hearted, and lose the ability to be instruments of God's love. Our prejudice robs us of our inner peace and our Christ-like spirit. We become hypocrites, saying we are Christians, but without Christian love. We become like noisy gongs or clanging cymbals. 1Corinthians 13 reminds us that even if we have prophetic powers, understand all mysteries, know all things and have all faith, without love, we are nothing. Our prejudice robs us of the hallmark by which the world would know we are Christians--our love I think it is time that the SBC take a hard look at what the prejudice that it practices and preaches does to its own followers, and begin to repent. Also the Gospels make clear what will happen to those leaders who cause believers to sin (Matthew 18:5; Mark, 9:42 and Luke 17:2). As the foremost head of the SBC, you are in a position to lead your church out of hardness of heart and back into Christ-like love. I am writing to you to encourage you to meet with Karen Weldin, try to see her as simply your sister in Christ and a fellow child of God. Get to know her some. I am quite certain that if you had met her before, under any circumstances, without knowing that she is a lesbian, you would like, respect and admire her. For your own sake, and for the sake of all those who's souls are affected by your attitudes and words please give serious thought to what I have said here, examine your heart and pray that the Holy Spirit will give you an open mind. Then take one small step out in faith and meet with Karen. Just as God taught Peter in Acts 10 that God shows no partiality, I believe he will show you the same thing if you will open your mind to that possibility.

I will continue to keep you and all the leaders and members of the Southern Baptist Church in my prayers as you approach your convention in St. Louis this year.

Your sister in Christ, Jennifer J. Riddel

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JAMES MERRIT REPLIES:

Dear Jennifer:
First of all, I want to thank you for writing. I want you to know that I am going to respond to your letter in the same spirit in which I believe you wrote your letter. I have accepted your letter believing you wrote it out of a sincere heart. Please accept mine in the same way.

I am going to respond specifically to several things you said in your letter so you'll know where I am coming from. First of all, my problem with Karen is not that she is doing things that "the rules of my church strictly forbid." Rather she is doing things that the Word of God itself strictly forbid and calls an abomination and sin.

The Pharisees and the Sadducees would certainly disagree with you that Jesus "never rejected anyone." Though, He did not reject them in a sense in which you speak, He confronted them in their sin relentlessly and vigorously and never compromised His position from God's Word regardless of how "religious" they claimed to be.

Jesus never said anything against homosexuality - but He didn't have to. The believers in that day universally accepted that homosexuality was a sin, furthermore, Scripture universally condemns it as you well know.

I know exactly what Jesus would say to Karen - the same thing He said to the woman caught in adultery that you reference - go and sin no more. Karen is living in sin and if she wants to truly be a child of God she must repent of that sin and place her faith in Christ.

I do abhor prejudice - but I also abhor prejudice against those of us who dare to stand for the Word of God. It is not that I "believe I'm right in my judgment" it is that I believe that God's Word is right. The Scripture is very plain that homosexuals, adulterers, fornicators, etc are not God's children. Your saying so will not make it so but I will agree with you that God does love "them" just as much as He loves "us."

Let me make this plain. God does love Karen Weldin - but He loves her too much to leave her the way she is. My concern is that your prejudice and hers has robbed you of the ability to see the truth of God's Word and apply it indiscriminately.

The most loving and merciful thing that I could do for Karen is to tell her the truth which I did - truth based on God's Word. I cannot see her as a sister in Christ or a fellow child of God because that would be to deny the Word of God which says she is not.

I hope you understand that I have one concern in all of this - the truth of God's Word. Adultery, homosexuality, bestiality, pornography, etc - they are all sins in the eyes of God and nothing you, I, the ACLU, or public opinion poll will ever change that.

Thanks again for writing. May God use this letter to move you to the truth of His Word.

Exalting the Savior, James Merritt

John Click

Dear SBC Committee Member, John Click,
Hello! Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Larry Little of Kokomo, Indiana. I am a retired factory worker, with ten years for a printing company and thirty years for General Motors. I am a member of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), but originally a Methodist of many years. I am also a Gay man in an eight and a half years relationship with a life-partner, who is a Kansan and a born and raised Baptist. And finally, I am a member of Soulforce, the network of people of many (or no) faith traditions, who strive for fair and equal treatment by the Church for God's Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender (GLBT) children. Most of the Soulforce people who will be present at the SBC in St. Louis are writing letters to SBC Committee Members, explaining how the Church has so deeply hurt their souls and faith, by their rules and beliefs.

I, sir, cannot truthfully say that I have been wounded by the Church and some of their Teachings, because I have always known that I am a creation of God and that God loves me just the way I am. I live just as God created me, and no matter what any church has said about GLBT'S or the way we live our lives. They have never shaken my faith nor my love of God. I serve a God who created a very diverse world. God created the graceful gazelle and yet the duckbilled platypus; the swan and yet the ungainly manatee. And God loves them all equally, although they are very different from each other. And Mr. Click, who am I to say that the gazelle has more worth than the platypus, because I deem one better and more attractive than the other?

To that, you may say,: "But Larry, the Bible and my Church says that you are an Abomination to God, according to Leviticus!" And to that I reply: "Sir, biblical scholars are saying now that the passages of Scripture that people use to condemn GLBT's have been misinterpreted and wrongly passed down through centuries." Wrongly interpreted Scripture was used for centuries to justify slavery and mistreatment of God's children of color. We now would never try to justify slavery, although the Scripture still reads the same in many versions of the Bible. So many long held beliefs crumble when analyzed against new and better research into the language and customs of the early Biblical people. Even now, long held beliefs about GLBT's are crumbling. Just as the white people learned to accept and live in harmony with people of color through education and familiarity, so the GLBTs of the world will soon lose their stigma by the Church, when the congregates learn that we are just the same as anyone else. Then the people will see beauty and worth in not only the gazelle, but in the platypus.

I would ask you, sir, to do some research of your own before coming to St. Louis in June. Reach out to a GLBT person and get to really know them. Mistrust and misjudgments tend to dissolve when examined closely. I will be praying for you as you prepare for and participate in St. Louis. I will be there with Soulforce, should you wish to contact me and discuss some of the points I've made here. Thank you for your time. God's Blessings upon you and yours.

Sincerely,
Larry L. Little

5/15/02

Harry W. Pittam

Dear Mr. Pittam,
Thank you for taking a few minutes of your time in allowing me to speak from my heart. I promise to be brief. Not being an avid letter writer nor a Bible scholar, I ask for His grace and guidance as I convey my thoughts to you.

I am a Christian lesbian, living with my partner of fourteen years, with four grown children, eight grandchildren, and number nine due later this year. We are a family...a loving, caring family no different from so many others all around this world.

Each day as I awaken, I give my life once more to Jesus...only asking to do His will. This is my great desire; to live as He wants me to live. And in my heart, I am sure that my life has been given to me by Him, and that I am carrying out His will for me.

At this time I only ask one favor of you. I ask that you be bold...and take just a minute to ask God to open your mind and your heart and for maybe just one moment, to rethink the Southern Baptist Convention's ideal of family that has cause so much suffering for so many of God's children.

Yes, I have sinned, as you have, as we all have. But the sin is not in whom we love, but in whom we do not love.

I will be in St. Louis in June at the annual meeting of the Southern Baptist Convention. Being there not to debate nor to cause any trouble; but just in hopes that we can pray together, come together as a family, His family. We are all His children.

With love and respect,
Lynn York

Preston Bailey

Aloha Pastor Preston Bailey,
I will be traveling to St. Louis to Vigil with Soulforce and would like to open a dialog with you about the climate within the Southern Baptist Church concerning Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual and Transgender persons. I was arrested in New Orleans at your last Conference. I was a pallbearer in the "Mock Jazz Funeral" and although the City Attorneys decided not to press charges, my commitment was and is quite real. There should always be room for us all at God's table and I don't know why the Church is pushing members who seem in any way different, by God's design, away instead of trying to find someway to include us all.

My Father was a faithful member of a Baptist Church in New York City and when I look at the congregation there, then and now, it is hard for me to believe that the members who are heterosexual did not know who the GLBT members in their congregation were including the Music Minister.

Do you realize that if all GLBT persons in music ministries were silent next Sunday most Southern Baptist Churches would have to learn to sing acapella, it is not amusing nor is it meant to be. How do you treat those members in your congregation or do you pretend that they're not there and force them to pretend that they are not gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender while they listen to you preach their damnation.

I'm reminded of the black employees of the white churches in the old south, rendered invisible by their color but, listening to those men of God talk about them and people like them as though they were in some way less than human. Seeing the untruths and not being able to correct them without danger to their very lives.

Many of our children left the Church rather than subject their lives to such abuse. I myself left for many years. I returned when I realized that my issue was with the politics within the Church and not with God.

When does it stop? How do we bridge the distance from the place where you find yourself to the place where I find myself? I am a Christian, an African-American woman, a mother and the Partner/Spouse in a Committed Lesbian Relationship of 25 years.

I would like to open and sustain dialog with you so that we can find some way to bring what has become two communities together and make us all one again as it should be. We are all God's children and he loves us all just as we are, just as he made us. We now must learn to love each other since that is the only request that he made of us. I am extending my hand and heart in friendship and Christian love and will wait to hear from you.

Respectfully yours,
Saundra Farmer-Wiley

May 15, 2002

Reuel May, Jr.

Dear Reuel May, Jr.:
My name is Jake Studebaker, and I am a United Methodist from Phoenix. Originally from Ohio, I have made my home in Arizona since completing graduate school in 1987. I am a gay man, and I have been in a committed relationship with my partner, Alan, for nearly ten years.

I write this letter to you to share a bit about myself and to let you know that I will be in St. Louis with a group called Soulforce during the days of the Southern Baptist Convention. Soulforce is an interfaith group of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals and their parents, families, and friends, dedicated to applying the non-violent principles of Jesus, Gandhi and King to the liberation of sexual minorities.

I also write to you as a fellow Christian. I am guided by Christ's key messages to the entire world: that we hold God as supreme, that we love one another, and that we embrace eternal life through Jesus.

As a gay man, I have endured nearly 30 years of persecution. I have been jeered at, discriminated against, and physically attacked simply because I am gay. I have had to take care in living my life openly and to it's fullest because of fear. I truly believe that God made me homosexual, and that he loves me just the way I am.

When I was in college, I was "outed" to my parents by a friend's grandmother who believed that by so doing, she would "set me on the right path." She was a Christian woman, and thought she was helping all involved. This created much turmoil in my family for some time, but we eventually worked through it. I thank God that my family has loved me for who I am. And, in the end, my friend's grandmother did help because I have not had to live in the closet with my family, and we have all been healthier for it.

Homosexuality is not a casual "choice"--it is at the core of who we are, how God made us. Many of my brothers and sisters are so despondent that they seriously consider-and often succeed-in taking their own lives. My story could have taken a different path, one of rejection by my family, friends and church, despondency within myself, and possibly self-destructive actions. I am very blessed to have wonderful, caring, Christian family, friends and church.

Would you consider meeting me for coffee and conversation during the convention? I am not looking for an argument or confrontation-I just want to understand more fully your viewpoint. All day Monday, June 10, I will be holding a sign with your name on it and praying for you as you go about your work. Please watch for me.

Thank you for reading my letter and considering my thoughts.

Sincerely,
Jake Studebaker

May 20, 2002

Rev. Mark Patton

Dear Rev. Patton,
I am writing to you as a 'brother in the faith,' as a colleague in ministry, as someone who loves the Lord, but who, like many people, has been wounded by the church. I write to you also as someone who understands many of his own human failings, who sees himself as a sinner, and who has been the cause of others' wounds and the source of others' sufferings.

More specifically, I write to you in your capacity as a member of the Executive Committee of the Southern Baptist Convention and I write to you as a man who identifies himself as gay. I understand that both of us will be in St. Louis in the coming weeks, you at your annual meeting, me, for the first time at a gathering called Soulforce - a grassroots, nonviolent movement working to stop what many of us see as 'spiritual abuse' against God's people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. I want you to know that while we may not have the opportunity to meet, I will be remembering you in prayer and seeking guidance from the Spirit to work in both of our lives to bring about greater understanding.

I, of course, know nothing of your journey through life. What I DO understand is that God continues to work in our individual lives to help us understand His will and His ways. That has certainly been my experience. I grew up in the '50's (I'm currently 52 years old) in Bethlehem, PA. My spiritual growth was largely affected by my baptism, confirmation, and growth in the Moravian Church (a pre-Reformation Protestant denomination with roots in central Europe). My introduction to the Christian faith was through the teachings, the faith, the nurturing of many wonderful people, including my own parents.

My dedication to God led me to sense a call to ministry during my college years. Following seminary, I married a wonderful woman, and we are the proud parents of two grown children who are actively involved in their communities and deeply dedicated Christians. My prayers of thanksgiving to God for the blessings of our life as a family are ongoing.

We are not, however, a 'traditional' family. Nor, after 17 years as a pastor in four different Moravian churches, is my ministry tradition in the usual sense of the word. After five years of marriage and close to a nervous breakdown, I came to terms with the fact that I am gay and, to the best of my knowledge, always have been. After considerable therapy, prayer, counseling and conversations with trusted Christian friends, I have come to accept my sexual orientation as part of who I am. My former wife and I are now divorced, although very good friends. And, after 10 years as a single man and an active Dad, I chose to enter into a loving relationship with another gay man who, himself, was formerly married, and is also the father of two adult children. We have been in a committed relationship, now, for 10 years.

The 'ministry' in which I am now involved unfolds on a daily basis as I counsel gay and lesbian students, as part of my job at Indiana University. Many of these young people are seeking integration of their sexuality and their spirituality. I try to provide resources that will help them to find that integration. I do this, because I believe it is what God has called me to do. I do this because I have known young people who have taken their lives because they felt they were unacceptable to God as gay or lesbian youth. I do this because, as the church has been wrong on issues relating to race and gender and religion in the past, so, too, do I believe the church is wrong in it's unwillingness to understand and find a place for its members who are lesbian or gay. In addition to my work at the university, I am committed through our city's Human Rights Commission to work toward racial justice and unity. I also am an active member of the St. Thomas Lutheran Church here in town, singing in its choir and serving on its Mutual Ministry Committee.

Obviously, I know nothing of your personal feelings about the issue of homosexuality. I only know what the Southern Baptist Convention has traditionally taught about this issue. Assuming that you follow your church's teachings, I would guess that we have very different opinions on the topic. Because of that and because we may never have the opportunity to meet, I wanted to share some of my story with you and to ask that you remember me as we gather for different reasons in St. Louis next month.

I seek your prayers for me and for the Soulforce gathering that will, in the tradition of countless reform movements in the past, challenge the Church to consider, anew, its calling as God's people. I promise to uphold you in prayer, as well, in the hope that the gentle, but powerful Spirit of God will speak to your heart in what may be new and different ways.

I appreciate your taking the time to read this letter from a stranger. I hope the opportunity will some day enable us to meet and greet each other as brothers.

In Christian love,
Doug Bauder

May 13, 2002

William T Crosby

Dear Pastor Crosby:
I received your name and address from an organization named Soulforce. Soulforce is an interfaith movement committed to ending spiritual violence perpetuated by religious policies and teachings against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. Currently, Southern Baptists teach that homosexuality is a "choice ... a very poor and sinful choice" and describe homosexual relationships as "always sinful, degrading, and perverted." These words lead to ruined lives, divided churches, suffering and even death.

I know the painful reality this position can create. As a youth, I was deeply committed to my faith as a "born again" believer in the saving power of Jesus Christ. I was a Girl in Action in my local Southern Baptist church who loved the fellowship and the worship of my Sunday school, my youth group, and my youth choir. Often I joyfully spent five nights a week in some church related activity-witnessing, studying the Bible, attending youth meetings.

All this joy ended when I came to the painful awareness that I was a lesbian. This was not a sudden revelation-it occurred over three painful years as I prayed for the Lord to remove this "affliction" from me. Instead, inside the church, I met a girl one year older than myself who brought forth in me no perversion-but feelings so deep, so true, and so wonderful that I knew they had to come form God. This was not lust-it was the deepest and most whole connection I ever knew.

But I knew that others would see it as sinful. Instead of celebrating this love, I was torn by fear-afraid of what my parents and what the church would say. How real those fears turned out to be-long after the relationship had ended, my Mother asked me if I was a homosexual. Praying for the courage of truth, I said yes. She screamed, my Father grabbed the phone and told me I had killed her. Four days later, I was disowned. Three weeks later, my mother called and tearfully told me that if I could not change, for the love of Jesus and herself, the best I could do was end my own life to save my soul.

My journey over the past 20 years has been filled with much pain, but also much healing. Although my parents-still Southern Baptists-are ashamed and afraid of what their local church would say-we speak on the phone weekly. I was asked not to come home, so I have not seen them in over 12 years. I think in a large measure, the position of the SBC on homosexuality keeps them afraid.

Pastor Crosby, I ask you to prayerfully consider the position of the convention in the next few weeks. God's truth truly will set us all free. I thank you for your time. I pray for your safe journey to and from my home city of St. Louis. While you are here, please listen-not to the whirlwind around you-but to the still small voice within-

Thank you.

Sincerely,
LC

May 8, 2002

Kenny R. Qualls
Dear Mr. Qualls,

My name is Kristin Van Heyningen. I wrote to you last week regarding the Soulforce team that would be present at the Southern Baptist Convention in St. Louis. During that meeting, on Monday, June 10 and Tuesday, June 11, we will be engaging in a 24 hour vigil to provide a voice for all of those within your denomination who are forced into silence. Between now and then, I will be praying for you everyday. Praying that God's Spirit of Truth would help you to understand the tragic consequences of the Southern Baptist's policies.

I also wanted to let you know who I am. I am a Ph.D. student at the University of Chicago studying religious ethics. I firmly believe that the church, in all of its manifestations, has a sacred and powerful role in teaching God's message of love to all. My dissertation will focus on the role of the church in human formation and development. I am also a deeply religious and faithful person. I have attended church my entire life. My father, brother, and uncle are all ordained pastors. I too am in the ordination process with my denomination. This has come after years of struggling with myself, with God, and with my surroundings. I knew that I was a lesbian at the age of sixteen. However, I also "knew" that that was not acceptable. The Bible taught against it, the church taught against it, and society taught against it. I ended up marrying a man because it is what I was supposed to do. That marriage did not last – it couldn't. That marriage was built on a lie. It was built on the deception which I forced myself into. It was built upon a false conception that only one way of loving is appropriate. Since that time I have learned that the biblical teachings are sketchy at best and that Jesus never mentioned homosexuality. I have learned that my church and many others are torn. I have learned that my family loves me and supports me in being who I really am. Even my ex-husband supports my decision and applauds the courage it took to admit such a thing. Should it really take that much courage to face our true selves in the mirror? Should it really be applaudable just to be who I am?

My story is a nice one. I was not abandoned by my church. I was not disowned by my family. I was not ostracized by my community. I was not forced to consider suicide as the only option. I have not yet been beaten, attacked, or killed because of who I love. I am one of the lucky ones so far. But, there are so many others who do not have such a nice story. There are so many that have turned their backs on God because of what the men of the Church say. There are so many that have suffered incredibly because of the words of a sacred institution. There are so many who have died because the Church won't say that God loves all of God's children and the church welcomes all of God's children. It is time for the violence to end. The physical, emotional, and SPIRITUAL violence must end.

Soulforce is doing what it can. It is providing you and your colleagues with an opportunity to stand up for what is right. It is offering you the chance to be prophetic and stand against injustices. Please, help us by following through with truth and courage.

In Christ's peace,
Kristin D. Van Heyningen

May 13, 2002

Mr. Herbert T. Thomas

Dear Mr. Thomas,
My understanding is that you are on the Executive Committee of the Southern Baptist Convention and will be attending the SBC gathering in St. Louis in June. Like most of us in leadership roles, you take your responsibilities seriously, I'm certain. I pray for your wisdom and courage.

I know that any aspect of the subject of sexual orientation is rife with emotion. Nonetheless, I would like to address the unintended results of SBC policies about homosexual orientation, and would be honored to talk with and listen to you during the convention at your convenience. I will be present with Soulforce to bear witness to the faithfulness of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered Christians and to request that Soulforce representatives from SBC have a chance to share why the policies have caused "spiritual abuse" and how they could be changed to not only reflect sound biblical teaching but also reflect what we know in 2002 about sexual orientation.

As a 66 year old musician and retired teacher, a hetero Baptist grandmother, in a 47-year marriage, with four hetero offspring and, as far as I know now, three hetero grandsons, I am, nonetheless, deeply concerned about the policies in the SBC. I am a musician and retired teacher. Though seemingly made with best of intentions to "help" homosexual believers conform to SBC interpretations of biblical rules, the policies have caused great spiritual and emotional suffering, self-hate, alienation from religious community and even suicide for some people blessed with a homosexual orientation. Such results of policies are to me not exemplary of the wonderful love of God in Jesus for they are based on untruths that are not examined. I don't think the SBC intended the results.

I have read countless books by homosexual Christians, by psychologists, by sexologists, and by theologians about sexual orientation. But most importantly, I have met, listened to the life stories of, and become close friends and allies with many many devoted gay Christians. I admire their faith which has withstood the fires of rejection, hatred based on fear, and mistrust from families, church and society. Being a white woman, the fires I have been through as a woman have been mere candleflames in comparison.

My husband and I have been like surrogate parents to very wounded fundamentalist and truly faithful Christian men and women who were emotionally and spiritually ostracized from their communities when they finally revealed their true identity to themselves and those who loved them most—their family and church. Let me tell you about one – Brian.

We met him through a friend who told him we would affirm his orientation and we were Baptists. This friend rescued him from a suicide attempt after two years of desperate depression and attempts at trying to change. Because of his intense grief over the loss of his religious and emotional supports, and his inability to feel attracted to women, he concluded he was indeed terribly "disordered", an " abomination" and of no worth to even God. He acted out his loss through very dangerous, promiscuous behavior to prove (to himself?) that he was indeed as sinful as he had been told. That behavior, of course, just increased his unhappiness. It took three years of lots of Bible study, prayer, tears, hugs, phone calls, encouragement together before he emerged as the loving responsible person he was before and still is. He regained his trust in Jesus and told us that actually, Jesus was his only friend in the early years of his betrayal by his family and church. Unfortunately, his home church still see him as an "abomination" and will not recognize his loving nature, his faithfulness to Christ or his tremendous gifts of the spirit.

I do know that love is of God and love is not a sin; our sexual orientation is what initially guides us to people to love.

It would be wonderful if the SBC could adopt a policy of "do no harm" by not singling out the homosexual relationship as so sinful as to justify alienation and fear while truly taking time to listen to those who know homosexuality best—the homosexual Christian. To reduce fear of gays and lesbians by the heterosexual community would be a positive step by the church and would reduce the fearful environment for gay-bashing. Religious communities do set the tone for either a safe or unsafe environment for gay men and lesbian women. The expressions of the policies now in place not only bring shame and self-loathing to the homosexual person, but increase fear and an unsafe environment in the heterosexual majority. What an opportunity you have to begin to shift from creating fear to creating safety for all.

I pray that your heart will be open to these beautifully God-gifted people and eliminate the fear-based rhetoric that has provided a justification to too many Christians and others to harass and demean—spiritually abuse-- their gay brothers and sisters.

Through letter, or email (kstayton@aol.com) or face-to-face meeting in St. Louis, I would appreciate the opportunity to have an exchange of understandings. Thank you for responding.

A sister in Christ,
Kathy Stayton

May 8, 2002

Dear Pastor Kersh,

Nineteen years ago, to the day, a wonderful guy named Carson Jack was born. Carson's dead now. His short life was snuffed out because of the rejections and social pressure he felt. Carson was gay, and he killed himself. In his suicide note, Carson spoke of the tremendous pressures he felt - he spoke of how he really could never fit in. He spoke of the love that he felt for his boyfriend.

The amount of grief I feel is overpowering. For the last year, I've been struggling with the issue of Carson's suicide and my own suicide attempt. When I was thinking today about what I could do to memorialize Carson's birthday, the birthday he'll never celebrate, I was torn. You see, so much of what I wanted to do today was to help me remember how wonderful Carson was; soon I recognized that was a somewhat "ostrich like" view of the world. Carson wouldn't have wanted it at all - Carson would have grinned his big toothy grin and said "Stop! Don't just focus on remembering me - focus on FIXING THE PROBLEM". So today I write to you - this is how I'm memorializing Carson's death. Dr. Kersh, please help me end the pain for so many other young gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people.

I believe you're a good man. I honestly believe that you've spent the last 5 months (or more) struggling with how to reconcile your beliefs and your teachings with the horror stories that you're being told by members of Soulforce. It must be heart-wrenching for you to be placed in a position where you have to reconcile your own deeply held principles with the possibility that they may be guilty of spiritual violence. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you're a good pastor and that Village Baptist Church is a good church filled with good people. I also know that the rhetoric of intolerance that is advanced by the Southern Baptist Convention killed Carson as surely as the bottle of pills that he took.

It's so important, Dr Kersh, that we (Soulforce and Village Baptist Church) come to the table and talk. I'm not asking you to change your core beliefs - I'm asking you to get to know and recognize me and the discrimination that I and every other gay man feel. I know that once you see how the teachings of the Southern Baptist Church have hurt us, you'll understand our point of view a little better.

I'm 26 years old, and I have cancer. I know there's a chance I won't live a long and healthy life, though I pray daily that I will. But more important to me than that is that what life I have (however long) be spent working to end this injustice and working to help good people like yourself see the injustice that exists in society.

I committed months ago to pray for you and the ministries of your church, and I do just that, daily. I feel that I know you, even though we've never met. I truly do hope that your church succeeds in ministry, and I know you're a great pastor for that church - we only disagree on this one issue. It seems to me that we have a lot more in common than difference, and I just can't believe that if we all start discussing, we won't find a solution that's acceptable to both of us."

In Christ,
Philippe Beaudette

May 7, 2002

Rev. Conley Bordeaux, Sr.

Dear Rev. Bordeaux,

Thank you for a few minutes out of your busy schedule to introduce myself and explain the reason for this letter. As a fellow pastor I understand how demanding your schedule must be. I will try to be brief and respect your time.

I am a native of Texas and hold degrees from three Southern Baptist institutions. Who I am as a minister and person of faith, and the commitment to Christ that directs my life, are the result of having been blessed by many wonderful Southern Baptists. I am grateful for the ministers, teachers, and friends in the SBC who shaped my life in such a positive fashion.

However, it was as a Southern Baptist that I discovered that one of the things I was being taught in church did not correspond to the realities I was seeing in those churches. I was told that gay men and lesbians were choosing to live sinful lifestyles and be outside of the will of God, yet the most faithful and dedicated Christian in my church youth group was a homosexual. I was told that the Bible is undeniably clear in its denunciation of gays and lesbians, but my own reading and research led me to see that Jesus never addressed the topic, there is not a single word about people living in same-gender covenant relationships in the scriptures, and that the six texts often quoted to denounce homosexuality have been interpreted poorly according to the best biblical scholars in the world. Finally, I realized that as great as our legacy has been as Southern Baptists, we have used the Bible in the past to justify abusive acts and tragic positions. Our Southern Baptist ancestors used the Bible to support the institutions of slavery and legalized segregation. Many Southern Baptist ministers used the Bible to argue that women had no right to vote or participate in the larger society. All of these facts led me to believe that Southern Baptists are making the same mistake with the gay and lesbian members of our churches. I realized we would be forced to apologize for our spiritual violence against them in the future as we finally have with African Americans for the sin of slavery.

Today, I am blessed to serve a church that has many gay men and lesbians as members. They are deacons, Sunday school teachers, and ministers on our staff. Having counseled with dozens of them I can tell you that they want what all Christians want: covenant relationships blessed by the church, a chance to serve Christ without condemnation, and the freedom to be who God has created them to be without fear of violence and discrimination. The position that the Southern Baptist Convention has taken in regard to these sisters and brothers makes such conditions impossible for most gay and lesbian believers.

I am coming to St. Louis in June with a group called Soulforce hoping for more dialogue with Southern Baptists about the spiritual violence that is being leveled against gay and lesbian people in SBC congregations. I hope you will use your influence on the Executive Committee to encourage such discussions to take place. Thank you for your time and consideration. May God bless your good work in Monroe.

Sincerely yours,
Jack McKinney, Pastor
Pullen Memorial Baptist Church

May 3, 2002

Reverend Kenny R. Qualls

Dear Rev. Qualls:

My name is Mary Lou Wallner. I feel privileged to write to you. I have some ties to Springfield-I have one daughter, son-in-law, and 2 grandchildren living there, and another daughter who lived and died there.

I suspect you are a man who seeks justice, reaches out to other Christian groups, and has deep compassion for the poor and vulnerable people of your community. I do believe that you believe that the Church will work to create a neighborhood in which everyone can be at home. I share those values highly.

However, there is one very vulnerable and marginalized group of people who are denied full participation in the Southern Baptist Church as well as most denominations: God's gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender children of faith. That is why I will be among the Soulforce team that will be conducting a vigil at the Southern Baptist Convention in St. Louis, MO, June 7-12. I spent several years as a member of First Baptist Church of Ferguson, in Ferguson, MO (a suburb of St. Louis). The Pastor was Dr. Bob Werner. I was also born and raised in St. Louis.

I have personally witnessed the tragic consequences of the stand taken by the evangelical Christian Church, including most Southern Baptist Churches. My daughter, Anna, committed suicide a little over 5 years ago, in your town. She and I were baptized together many years ago at First Baptist Church of Ferguson. I think Anna was about 6 or 7 years old at the time. She committed her life to Christ at the age of 5, and wanted to be baptized with me, since I had only been baptized as an infant.

Why did Anna take her life, at the age of 29, a Masters Degree educated Social Worker? I believe that it was largely due to the fact that I did not accept her as a lesbian Christian. You see, I had been taught and taught well, the homophobia preached in the church where I was a member.

My husband and I are Christ followers. We are participating members of Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, IL. I am a Registered Nurse, and coordinator of a free HIV Clinic in Elgin, IL. My husband is a retired architect.

My journey from homophobia to full acceptance of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender persons has been long, arduous, and nothing short of a miracle. I am enclosing a brochure of my story. I speak nation-wide about my journey, and about how the anti-gay rhetoric taught in our evangelical churches is literally killing gay people. Do you know that the leading cause of death among gay teens is suicide? Anna wasn't a teen, but she attempted suicide when she was a teen. She just didn't "complete" it until she was 29.

My transformed beliefs have nothing to do with guilt, or trying to "make it up" to Anna. They simply have to do with getting to know gay Christians, reading, talking with people on both sides of the issue, and above all, studying the Scriptures. It never ceases to amaze me how we take verses of Scripture out of the context and culture of the day. I'd love to discuss this with you in St. Louis. However, I know you will be very busy.

I come to St. Louis during the Southern Baptist Convention to stand along side Dr. Mel White, Executive Director of Soulforce, Inc., and many of our other brothers and sisters in Christ, who just happen to be homosexual.

If you have a small amount of time where we could sit down and talk, please call my cell phone . You may need to leave a message and let me know how to contact you. I do not want you to incur any long distance phone charges.

I look forward to, and pray diligently for the day when our evangelical churches will love and accept ALL people, including GLBTs.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.

Sincerely,
Mary Lou Wallner
web site: empoweringdiversity.com/anna

May 2, 2002

Dear SBC Executive Committee Member, William W. Finley,

I am an anthropologist who specializes in the fields of gender studies and sexology. I have two Masters degrees and am just about finished with my Ph.D. in these areas. More central to my life, however, is spirituality. In particular, I devote my spiritual gifts to gender and sexual minority statused people in Christian service. I do so because we have been made outcasts by US church denominations which have troubles with heterosexism. As I understand it, we are people against whom your church policies discriminate, while your church's policies extend special access, rituals, benefits, and privileges to heterosexists. Today, I am writing to urge you to know the truth about how sexist, heterosexist, and homophobic Southern Baptist Church bigotry and discrimination spiritually violate the religious, family, and personal lives of transgender, intersex, and gay, lesbian, and bisexual people. In so doing, your church's prejudicial policies and unfair practices, which elevate the status of those you privilege and devalue the status of our people and families, have become primary agencies of religious bigotry and persecution.

Part of my natal family is Southern Baptist. I love them dearly and unconditionally. My maternal aunts have always been very precious to me. They don't love me anymore because the Southern Baptist Church has mislead them about transgender people by being heterosexist and homophobic. I am a woman of transgender experience. I wrote in my introductory paragraph above that I am an anthropologist, gender specialist, and sexologist because my work really defines who I am in everyday life, including how I structure each day, time and activity wise. I spend much of my time studying heterosexism and religious bigotry in the Christian church. I live in central-Virginia in order to ethnographically study religious bigotry in the forms of heterosexism and homophobia. I've learned from the local people here that heterosexism is an attitude of arrogance and superiority about one's sexual beliefs. My partners in learning have helped me to understand that homophobia is an unfounded series of fears about people who partner themselves with a same-gender adult. The rest of my time I spend doing daily devotions in the forms of spiritual activism, community outreach, and meditation and prayer with my spiritual local, state, and international family. Family has become redefined for me largely because of Southern Baptist bigotry that has helped destroy my natal family. My family today consists of people with whom I share very similar spiritual values. Dear friends and colleagues are my family because we are bound together through a truth and love that is more dear than blood: our various faiths bind us by our hearts.

I became a woman who now looks like a man because of the medication I take for lupus: testosterone, a male hormone. I could probably get away with pretending to be a male, but I choose not to hide the truth that I am a female and only became virilized by medication. Though I have three adult children and do not have a sexual life any longer, I experience a great deal of discrimination. Because my femininity shines through my medically masculine appearance, people who don't know my story respond to me as if I am an effeminate, and hence, gay man. Had I not gone through this gender transformation, I would have never known how extensive the everyday discrimination is against gay men. The basis of that discrimination is the belief that someone with a gender difference (feminine man, for example) is somehow sinful for having that gender difference. Usually, transgender people are mistaken for gay, as if we have a sexual identity difference. In this way, discriminating against gay people harms many other kinds of people, including family members who love us, our grandmothers, our children, and even people who are just suspected to be gay because of a gender difference. In the Southern Baptist Church, transgender people are mistreated for the same reasons that gay and lesbian people are: there is a great misunderstanding between us about what the meaning of our personal differences are.

I would like very much to talk with you about the meanings of gender, sex, and sexual differences. The reason that I would like to talk with you about this is because I have had a wealth of educational opportunities to study gender and sexology in great depth. I believe that I can offer to you some important insights that may help you to make informed decisions for your committee and church that help to bring to a stop the suffering that the families in your churches are experiencing. Suffering like my family is still experiencing.

I admit that I have a primary interest in fostering some growth in the Southern Baptist Church's policies. Before my wonderful 80 year old family members pass on, I want my family to be able to be reunited by our love, rather than remain divided by the terrible misunderstandings the church has ushered into our family, society, institutions, and personal lives. I feel like my elders have been betrayed by the church that they love and support so much, in that, they were made to feel that they had to choose between serving religious bigotry or loving me.

I have cherished being one of God's creations since I knew that I was at a very young age singing in the youngest children's Methodist church choir at 4 years old. I knew, in the biblical sense of knowing intimately well, that I was loved and had been given an abundance of gifts to share, like a voice to sing praises and a heart full of love for everyone. But it's been awfully difficult to feel God's love as unconditional when members of my family act upon what their church teaches them and they exclude me entirely from family life. I haven't questioned if God loves me: I've questioned if God loves them. After all, heterosexism and homophobia are very serious crippling problems that harden the heart with arrogance, and trick the mind into states of irrational fear. I've wondered if God has abandoned my family since they have been overcome with these afflictions.

It doesn't seem to help my social relations or family to know that my gender difference came about because of an illness and a medical treatment for it. The bigotry and discrimination I experience are the same as a gay, bisexual, lesbian, and transgender person endures. I have found it to be quite ironic that the Southern Baptist Church trumpets "family life" while destroying millions of families and lives by continuing a religious rhetoric of intolerance throughout its ministry. Or that the church holds itself out to be the great defender of human life, while simultaneously crushing the very spirits of faithful human beings.

My natal family is certainly not the only family that I know of personally that has been harmed by the heterosexist, sexist, and homophobic polity of the Southern Baptist Church. It seems such a shame for one more Christian American family to be harmed by your church. Can't we try to have a conversation about this situation that we find ourselves facing together? I bet such a talk would be just the kind of effort that Jesus would make, since he was working to bring people lovingly together, rather than driving wedges between them.

Our common ground for conversing is our Christian love. If we come together and meet in Christ's name, and employ the methods Jesus used during his lifetime, then how can we possibly fail to love one another, dearly? I believe in the love of Jesus with all of my heart. That is why I have chosen to take the path of serving oppressed people. That's what Jesus did and that's what Jesus taught. I also believe that it is time right now to tell every person on Earth that Jesus loves them, and loves us all. Unfortunately, that is not the message being sent by the Southern Baptist Church. Instead, my GLBT peers are hearing that we are not loved, not by Jesus, God, the Southern Baptist Church institution, their local Southern Baptist churches, their families, and their Southern Baptist siblings in Christ.

I believe that kind of message betrays the integrity of Christianity and seriously wounds the people who are made outcasts within your church. But that is not the extend of spiritual violence: everyone who loves us and likes us is in some way harmed by heterosexist arrogance and pride, and homophobic fear and hatred. I know many a Baptist Mom who grieves tonight because of how your church mistreats their daughters and sons. Each member who is spiritually violated is one less member who is circulating their gifts freely and empowering the body of Christ. So the church needs to being sending a better, more truthful and loving message to all of the world: God loves us all.

I'm a soulforcee who is planning to be at your church conference in June. Please contact me so that we can meet before then and talk. I'm extending to you my hand, heart, and scholarship in friendship to help empower you and your group to become equipped with the truth about people with gender and sex differences. If the Southern Baptist Church is to truly have moral authority to speak on these matters, it needs to have allies who can bring to you knowledge and experience in these areas.

I look forward to hearing from you soon. I'm already praying for the Southern Baptist convention and will continue doing so while in St. Louis.

With kind regards,
michael deborah

May 2, 2002

Mr. Patrick Pajak

Dear Mr. Pajak:
I am writing to you in your capacity as a member of the Southern Baptist Convention executive committee. I used to be religious but I am no longer. The simple and sad reason is that the policies and beliefs of most Christian churches toward lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered individuals have so harmed me and my spiritual, emotional and psychic health that I have stayed away for my own good.

For more than ten years my mother and I were estranged because she could not reconcile her love for me and my homosexuality with church teachings. Mom literally rejected me. Mom had been my biggest supporter until age 20 when I struggled with my feelings of same sex attraction and revealed them to her. When I finally accepted my orientation and fell in love with a woman who became my partner, Mom's hopes that I was "going through a phase" were dashed. Instead of trying to understand me, she judged me and rejected me. She was full of shame and humiliation. I understand how this feels and know the long journey it takes to recover one's love of self as a child of God. Mom's shame was a direct result of the church's teachings that homosexuality is a sin. The most difficult part of our estrangement for me was that she wasn't thinking for herself or listening to her heart. Instead she was spouting church doctrine. The conversation was over before it began. Fortunately, my maternal grandmother's love for me never faltered. It was only in Grandmother's dying and my mother's and my mutual love and caring for her that Mom and I have reconciled our relationship. Our bond was renewed in our caring for Grandmother. Our renewed closeness gave Mom strength to challenge her church's teachings and ultimately find another church where she could worship and accept me fully for who I am. I feel lucky. My paternal grandparents treated me no differently after I came out to them as lesbian then before I came out. And they accepted my partner as part of the family. When my relationship with my partner ended 7.5 years later, Grandmother wept and felt bad for me because I was "all alone." My grandparents have been churchgoers at the same church for more than 50 years and are in their early 90s. They have demonstrated to me by their actions what it means to be Christian. I am not as trusting of others who say they are Christians. If a friend or an acquaintance or co-worker invites me to her or his church, the first question I ask is how their church views homosexuality. If their belief is "love the sinner but not the sin" then I won't step foot in that church. My Grandparents demonstration of Christianity has taught me to expect no less.

I will be joining Soulforce, an interfaith movement committed to ending spiritual violence perpetuated by religious policies and teachings against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people, when it confronts the Southern Baptist Convention's annual meeting in St. Louis this June. I am open to talking with you in person before your convention if my letter moved you in any way. Please feel free to contact me. For more information about Soulforce, you may go to their website: www.soulforce.org.

Sincerely,
Kimberlie Kranich

May 1, 2002

Rev. Mark Patton

Dear Rev. Patton, I would like to take the opportunity to introduce myself to you as a Christian in your area. It is my understanding that you will be attending the Southern Baptist Convention in St. Louis that is coming up in June. I, too, will be present for the convention but not as a clergy, delegate, or layperson. I am actively involved with a group called Soulforce. Soulforce is an organization actively involved in taking a stand against spiritual violence. This violence is any act caused by a church that spiritually abuses any of its congregants - specifically the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community. For further information on this movement, please feel free to visit the website at www.soulforce.org. This issue deeply affects me personally and the stance of the Baptist Church in this matter is of great importance. Perhaps a little information about myself will display why...

My own spiritual journey has been greatly impacted by the issues that Soulforce raises. When I was a child of nine years of age, my mother and her partner took me into the Metropolitan Community Church of St. Louis - part of the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches. This denomination was established by gays and lesbians for all people. Although attending a different church with my father at the time, it was in MCC that I received my spiritual guidance and committed my life to Jesus Christ. At that time, I was the only child in that congregation. I was raised learning love, respect, and acceptance of all people regardless of their stature in life.

I am currently 25 years of age and reside in Indianapolis. I came to this city in 1995 to attend Butler University and graduated with a degree in music education in 1999. Since graduation I have been working inside a maximum-security juvenile correctional facility teaching music. It is truly a joy to work with these students and attempt to make a difference in the lives of at-risk young men.

Upon my departure for a new city, I immediately located the MCC congregation in Indianapolis. I have been active within this congregation now for seven years and have been serving as Minister of Music for the past four years. We are currently a congregation with an average of 450 in attendance between two worship services. We have 32 active ministries including a homeless ministry, animal ministry, justice ministry, and a children's program with approximately 25 kids ranging from toddler to teen, just to name a few. We continue to grow and thrive. For more information about what this MCC congregation is doing right here in your area, feel free to visit the website at www.jesusmcc.org. Throughout my life, I have witnessed much undue pain, harassment, and spiritual abuse to my immediate family as well as to my extended church family. Let me offer a few examples:

When my mother and father divorced, my mother lost her entire network of friends simply because she was a lesbian. Even friends that tried to stick it out with her ended up leaving her in the end. The reason? They were not certain that God commissioned same-sex relationships. Heather was raised with an extended family attending a church where her father preached. She lived with strict rules and guidelines including the food she consumed, the way she walked, and the manner in which she dressed. Growing up with condemnation and constant reminders that the gay lifestyle only leads to hell caused her to finally give up her entire faith and love for God because she knew that deep inside, she could never change how she was created. She lived a life of risk, having no regards for her personal well being. The reason? According to the church she already had a death-sentence placed upon her.

Jennifer attended a church for six years during her thirties and frequently responded to the altar calls, merely because the preacher hailed fire and brimstone sermons about same-sex relationships. She was subjected to thirteen separate exorcisms before she was finally excommunicated from the church with their claim that this spirit of lesbianism remained and that the exorcisms didn't take. Being told that she was of the devil, Jennifer was spiritually abused and wounded that her God did not love her. The reason? The church held no regard for her spiritual integrity.

While in the church, I have known stories upon stories of individuals taking their own lives simply because they have been battered by the church. On the brighter side, I have also met numerous lucky individuals whose lives have been saved in the literal and spiritual sense upon finding the local MCC congregation. What a saving grace one denomination has been! But what about the Lutherans, the Presbyterians, the Catholics, the Southern Baptists...? Preaching about hell and condemnation does not turn a person's heart to God. Fear is not an emotion that we should be teaching when our God is about love and honor. Teaching that gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender individuals are somehow not created in God's image is blasphemous in God's eyes. Several books are available by current scholars regarding this issue and I would encourage you to read the latest, "The Children Are Free" by Rev. Jeff Miner and Tyler Connoley.

I would be glad to speak with you further about this issue, how it has directly impacted my life, and how you and your church can help. Further contact can be made through the address above or via e-mail at GospelOfJohn724@aol.com

I encourage you to take a stand and speak out against spiritual violence within your denomination. I pray for God's wisdom and blessings to rest upon you. May you be a light that spreads the truth of God's word to all of His children.

Respectfully,
Julie Benson

May 1, 2002

Kenny R. Qualls

Dear Mr. Qualls,
My name is Kristin Van Heyningen. I am a member of the Soulforce team that will be conducting 24 hours of spiritual resistance at the meeting of the Southern Baptist Convention in St. Louis, MO, in June.

I, along with my Soulforce colleagues, am very concerned about the tragic consequences of the stand taken by the Southern Baptist Church against God's lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered children. We have been in communication with members of the Executive Committee and local Southern Baptist preachers for several years. You might be aware of our presence at your meetings in Orlando and New Orleans.

During the next few weeks I will be praying for you and for members of the Southern Baptist Church. I know that it is no simple task to stand in opposition to denominational policies. I pray that you will find the courage to take a personal and prophetic stand against such policies that lead to tragic consequences.

Although I live in Chicago, I am writing to you as a member of the Executive Committee. I have been in contact with local pastors also. I am from a denomination that honors congregational polity, therefore I understand the need to address important issues from two angles - congregational and denominational leaders. I am asking you to stand up against injustice, stand up against confusion, stand up against spiritual violence.

In Christ's peace,
Kristin D. Van Heyningen

April 27, 2002

Ronald E. Williams

Dear Mr. Williams, I'm writing this letter as a woman with a heavy heart. I grew up Southern Baptist and hold wonderful memories of the all the great people I've met over those years. The wonderful old hymns still have a special place in my heart. The Sunday School teachers and the youth directors were a foundation for the person I am today. My father was a deacon, the "song leader", and the custodian. (We lived right across the road from the church.) I was taught the love and compassion of Jesus. My whole family was very much involved in that little church. I never questioned any of this, there was no need. Until my younger sister told us she was a lesbian. That was 25 years ago.

While none of this had ever come up before, (I don't remember hearing any sermons about homosexuality), it certainly was an issue now. I couldn't believe what we were told. I couldn't believe that my loving, Christian, sister was evil and that she was going to burn in hell.

This called for a lot of soul searching on my part. I know that my sister had not made a "choice". She was born a lesbian. I also know, with all my heart and soul, that the God I know would not create someone so full of love and compassion, like my sister and then condemn her to hell. My sister is a very happy "Grandmother" now. She knows God loves her.

Over the years I have met many gay and lesbian Christians and it just re-enforces my beliefs. I own a home with a Christian gay man. I have been married twice and I can tell you that there is more love, respect and nurturing in this household than either marriage. We are both very active in our church and we feel the love of God every moment of our lives. The people that I'm concerned about now are the ones that have not been able to let go of the guilt and shame put upon them by the Southern Baptists and other Christian denominations.

I'll be in St. Louis with Soulforce in June during the Southern Baptist Convention's annual meeting. I will be attending workshops in non-violence and participating in silent prayer vigils. After the workshops (based on the teachings of Jesus as taught by Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr.) we will come to the SBC spiritually filled with truth, love and compassion. I would be willing to meet with you over coffee or step outside the vigil line to talk with you. On Monday, June 10, there will be a special "sharing of our stories" at Centenary United Methodist Church, and you are welcome to attend.. It is my passionate prayer that the "Church of my Youth" (where so many wonderful memories are held) will search deep down in their very souls and see that their stance on homosexuality is hurtful and life-threatening. Life-threatening.......not only from suicide, but from the perpetrators of hate crimes who believe your policies. Your policies also keep so many wonderful, talented, spiritual people away from God and church. My prayers will be that God may bless you and grant you understanding on this issue. I hope to hear from you before our trip to St. Louis in June.

In God's Love,
Nancy Cox

April 24, 2002

Douglas L Dutton

Dear Mr. Dutton,
I have always considered myself a religious person. When I was about 13 years old, I began to have some serious doubts. Why? I knew in my heart that my sexual orientation would keep me from the Kingdom of God. Why? I learned it from the Church of Christ, where I had sought spiritual guidance and direction all my life.

Everything I heard in sermons and teachings said that homosexuality in any form was a sin. We were taught that the stories of Sodom and Gomorrah were strictly about this issue. I have learned through much study that this incident was not about sexual orientation at all. It was about how inhospitable the men of the town were to the visiting angels in Lot's house. This lesson can no longer "clobber me."

I stopped going to my church because of all the abomination talk and condemnation I heard aimed at homosexuals. I stopped going to church when I turned 25. During that time I searched the Bible for what I believed were the reasons I was going to hell. I studied the six passages that make any reference to homosexual acts and came to realize that they were taken out of context. Many of the passages were written to the Levite priesthood. I then researched Jesus' life and noticed that he NEVER spoke of homosexuality. If this was such a horrible thing to be, why didn't Jesus speak of it at all? I know that Jesus' main sermons were on the premise that God is Love. He also said that whosoever loves his father will inherit the kingdom of heaven.

When I was a teenager, I had anguished over my sexuality to the point of wanting to kill myself. You must know that teen suicide is very high in America. One of the documented reasons is that the spiritual violence inflicted on gay youth destroys them. They are taught that being gay is an abomination and that they will go to hell for who they are. I now know that this is the way God made me. I remember endless, sleepless nights praying that God would take these feelings away. I remember praying that God would give me the "right kind" of feelings for the opposite sex, but they never materialized. I dated women and almost got married at the age of 18 because I thought that being married and in a heterosexual relationship would make the "wrong kind" of feelings go away. I then woke up to the reality that I could not keep my future fiancee and myself in this lie. We broke it off and remain very good friends to this day. She also knows that I am gay; yet accepts me just the way I am.

I have since met the love of my life, a strong Christian. We are members of the Cathedral of Hope in Dallas. I now know that through God's love I will go to Heaven and inherit my part of the Kingdom. I did not choose to be a homosexual. My stomach turns when people say that anyone chooses to be gay. Why would I--a white male who has the world ahead of him--choose to be ostracized by his church, his community, and society? If I had chosen, you can bet I would have chosen to be heterosexual! Even as a homosexual, I still feel that I am a person of high moral and spiritual values. I love the Lord with all my heart and soul and know that I am living my life the way He wants me to as a Christian man.

In God's Grace and Love,
Charles A. Hardy

April 23, 2002

Mr. Russell E. Daines

Dear Mr. Daines,
Blessings and greetings to you in Christ's name. In a few weeks my wife, Jeaneane and I will arrive at the Southern Baptist Convention in St. Louis joining Soulforce, a faith based people committed to ending the spiritual violence against God's gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender children (glbt). We would like to extend an invitation to meet with you and to share stories about our faith journeys. We would like to share a cup of coffee or lunch or just some quiet time getting to know you.

Jeaneane's spiritual journey began in the First Baptist Church of Redlands in California. She has lovingly told me stories of her experiences in the youth program. Her military family moved over 15 times in her early years but her early religious foundation came from that Baptist church. My faith journey was in the Disciples of Christ church where I attended faithfully with my parents as we also moved frequently. Our church families were truly our extended families in our many new homes. Together we have been Presbyterians for over twenty five years.

June 10th we will be celebrating our 35th wedding anniversary. We have two beautiful sons. Our second son Troy is gay. We are coming to St. Louis to support both our boys. You see our own Presbyterian church along with the Baptist church essentially condemns both our children. Troy is seen as sick and sinful. He is not allowed ordination or first class citizenship in either church. Ty on the other hand, because he is a heterosexual, has all the privileges and the power the church can give to a male. But because his brother is not accepted in his church and in many other churches he has given up on religion for himself and his family. He loves his brother and knows that God loves his brother. Ty does not understand why the churches are so hurtful so he does not want to participate in organized religion. We are saddened by this. Our baby granddaughter may not have a religious upbringing by her own parents.

We were ashamed, frightened, and devastated when Troy came out at seventeen in 1993. We hid from our co-workers, neighbors and friends for more than three years. One child had a life and a wedding. The other's life was hidden when innocent questions of "Does he have a girlfriend yet?" "Won't he make a great father when he gets married?".

Our hearts were completely changed as we met glbt people living the "gay lifestyle". Gay Christians especially impressed us with how faithful they were to God and God's calling even when the church had so vehemently rejected them. We met gay legislators, lawyers, musicians, and salesmen. Many were partnered for years. Some even worked at companies with policies that protected them from job discrimination based on sexual orientation. We are encouraged that companies had stepped up for what was just and right. They demonstrate that they understand the need for equal treatment for all.

I think our epiphany was when we attended worship service at the local Metropolitan Community Church, a glbt Christian community. As members of PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) we had been invited to a potluck and a worship service where we were going to be honored for our work in affirming all people. This worship service took place in a rundown community hall. The ceiling was stained and the lighting was dim. The church was filled with wonderful songs and powerful prayers. Gay couples worshipped and took communion together. It was Spirit filled. We participated in wonder and joy. Worship was happening in that humble place among humble people worshipping God. When we left we turned to each other and declared that if God was not there that day how could he be anywhere. We both decided that we would return to our own Presbyterian church and after three years of hiding our secret we would declare God's love and our love for our gay son.

We talked to our pastor and began open dialog through Sunday school classes and open forums. We have had a lesbian commitment ceremony officiated by both our senior and associate pastors. We are not however a designated 'Opening and Welcoming' congregation yet. We are at least having guided conversations and a committee that is sanctioned by the governing congregational body. Our Ministry With Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender committee of 15 or more is working for open discussions. We want to hear the stories of all people in our congregation even those who are not in agreement.

While our Presbyterian denomination has not been open to ordination our local congregation has not been afraid to delve into scripture, talk to theological scholars, and to listen to gay Christians. We have looked at many videos including those from Exodus International. Exodus believes that homosexuality is a choice and can be changed. We looked at all sides. I am including a tape that was profoundly helpful. It is by respected theologian Dr. Lewis Smedes called "There is a Wideness in God's Mercy". Mr. Daines would you please take a chance and see what Dr. Smedes has to say?

So we come prayerfully hoping to have a conversation with you. We come to hear your story and hope that you will listen to ours. We do not come to debate. We know that Southern Baptists love their families. We know that you love God. We know that God loves you. We invite you to visit Soulforce's website, www.soulforce.org We just ask that you love your neighbor and listen to our story. Please feel free to contact us by phone, email or postal address with any questions you may have or to make arrangements for our meeting. Prayers will have been answered.

Sincerely,
Bob and Jeaneane Hill

March 3, 2002

Mr. Archie R. Smith

Dear Mr. Smith:
My name is Diana Westbrook, and I am an editor specializing in communications related to health care. I have a bachelor's degree in English education and a master's degree in English. Before I became an editor, I taught high-school English for eight years.

But enough of my resume ... I am writing to you because you are a member of the Southern Baptist Convention's executive committee, and I am concerned about SBC policy on homosexuality.

I was raised in a Southern Baptist church in Sandston, Va., and the instruction in the Bible it gave me I received there has been one of the most important blessings of my life. I believe that the Bible is God's letter to the world, providing invaluable lessons in how to live and evidencing God's amazing redemptive power.

Along with that powerful spiritual foundation came lessons based on interpretations of biblical passages - interpretations that had a profoundly disturbing effect on my life. I was taught that homosexuality is a sin and that homosexuals must remain outside God's embrace. That interpretation led me to confusion and despair, from which I was not able to emerge until I was 38 years old and finally had the courage to turn that confusion over to the Lord. Within 24 hours of my anguished prayer, in which I relinquished control over my sexual orientation to the Lord, I came to understand that God, who created me, loves me exactly the way I am - a lesbian, a Christian, who tries to live a life of love every day.

It is not my goal in this letter to debate the meaning of scriptural passages. I want, instead, to share my testimony with you and let you know that I am absolutely certain, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that my sexual orientation is not a choice; it's a given. I also want to testify to you that it is my unwavering belief that my sexual orientation is of no consequence to the Lord. The Lord cares about the choices I do make - how I use my talents and time while on this earth, how I treat my brothers and sisters, in other words, what I do with what I've been given, my stewardship of God's good gifts.

It is my fervent hope that the SBC executive committee and messengers to this year's annual meeting in St. Louis will become open to God's will on homosexuality in a new and exciting way. Examine those few passages that appear to address the issue of homosexuality within the context of cultural, linguistic and biblical evidence. And, most important, talk with people of faith who are gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender. Hear their our testimony - and listen to what God may be revealing through our those life -stories.

I'll be in St. Louis this year during the Southern Baptist Convention's annual meeting, one of the many Soulforce delegates who will be attending workshops in nonviolence and conducting silent, prayerful vigils around the America's Center. Following the principles of nonviolence as taught and practiced by Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. (which they based on the teachings of Jesus), we come to the SBC in a spirit of love and truth. We'll be willing to meet with you over coffee or step outside the vigil line to talk with you. On Monday, June 10, we're having a special "sharing of our stories" at Centenary United Methodist Church, and you are welcome to attend..

I'd love to hear from you before we both arrive in travel to St. Louis and perhaps arrange a time to meet while we're there. As fellow believers, we have a great deal in common. I hope we will have the opportunity to discuss the SBC policy and to discover our connections as people of faith and good will.

In God's love,
Diana G. Westbrook

P.S. I am enclosing a copy of Soulforce direct ... , our quarterly newsletter. This issue focuses on Soulforce's journey to St. Louis.

April 21, 2002

William E. Anderson

Dear Mr. Anderson:
I am writing to you as a Christian who believes that God in Jesus Christ loves and supports all persons He has created.

I have learned that you are a delegate to the Southern Baptist Convention this year. It troubles me that the Southern Baptists teach and accept with open arms only heterosexuals who want to become Christian according to your definition of Christian. Apparently you would accept me because I happen to be heterosexual (God's decision, not mine!), but that you will accept my daughter, who happens to be lesbian, only if she renounces who God created her to be. My Elizabeth is the daughter of a minister, grew up in the church, is a loving, productive citizen (a Hospice nurse) -- yet you do not accept her as she is. The hymns she grew up singing (ex: "Just As I Am", "Amazing Grace", etc.) would imply that God accepts and loves her just as she is -- no ifs, ands, or buts -- yet, you do not. How can you live with yourself and believe that Elizabeth is a "second-class" citizen in God's eyes? Your stance is so hurtful and keeps many wonderful Christians I know from being acceptable in your churches. Southern Baptist churches would be truer to the Gospel of love if they accepted persons of all sexual orientation and richer in enjoying the gifts they would bring.

My prayer is that you will re-examine your position on this issue, and welcome all God's children. May God's grace, free to all, permeate your deliberations.

Sincerely,
Barbara Walburn (a native Floridian!)

April 19, 2002

Rev. Richard J. Sweetman

Dear Rev. Sweetman:
My name is John Davis and I hope that you will give me a few minutes of your time to tell you the importance of growing up Southern Baptist and how it has shaped and affected my life. I was raised in a Southern Baptist Church in Ellis Grove, Illinois and at the age of 8 accepted Christ as my Savior and was baptized. Upon graduation from high school, I attended the University of Illinois in Urbana Champaign, and there truly came to realize more fully the blessings of a church family and of my personal walk with Christ. In addition to serving as President of the Baptist Student Union on campus, I participated in summer mission programs sponsored by the Home Mission Board of the SBC in the summers of 1982 and 1983, and was very active in Garden Hills Baptist Church there, where I met some of the people who remain to this day my very best friends. I continue to thank God for those experiences. Although I loved my time at the University, it was also a very emotionally difficult time for me. In the fall of 1983, I came out to myself and a few close friends in my church community as a gay man. Please believe me, this was not a process that was easy for me. It involved much prayer and counseling, however eventually I came to feel confident in God's creation, and to realize I am truly created in God's image. To continue to repress this part of me would make me less than whole, and would in fact distract from what I felt was a personal call from God to do his will. For the remainder of my time in college, I kept the fact that I was gay hidden from most of those in my church and community because I knew that most would not accept me. I was confident in my relationship with Christ, however felt like the Southern Baptist Church which had been such an integral part of my life was no longer a safe place for me. When I graduated and moved to St. Louis to begin my professional life as a CPA, I wanted to live in complete honesty with myself and those around me, and did not feel like I could do that within any of the mainstream Christian denominations. So I separated myself from the church, and instead found my support and communion from friends, family, and my personal walk with Christ.

Throughout the next 12 years, that decision felt right and in fact was frequently reinforced by what I heard from the "religious" world. Friends attending Southern Seminary in Louisville complained of the censorship that was resulting from the new regimes, and what they saw as a decline in what was once a highly respected institution. The treatment of women who were called into ministry continued to be contrary to what I believe Jesus teaches. And as close friends began becoming ill and dying of AIDS, the hurtful and often hateful response I saw from some who claimed to be members and even leaders in the Christian community created a strong contrast to the loving generous response I saw from those supposedly in the secular world. In March of 1997 I read an article in the Philadelphia Gay News about a Baptist church in the conservative suburbs of Philadelphia, which had taken the public action of becoming a "welcoming and affirming" church. I later found out this was an American Baptist rather than Southern Baptist congregation, however remained convinced the reporter must have his facts wrong. I attended my first service on Palm Sunday to check things out. In the midst of this suburban community, which is primarily made up of traditional families of all shapes and sizes, I immediately felt not only accepted, but also actually valued because of the special gifts of my sexuality. My partner began attending with me, and we were happy to call Central Baptist Church home during our remaining time in Pennsylvania. Bill, my partner, grew up Roman Catholic, and organized religion had never played a large part in our relationship, however being part of this community has opened up a whole new chapter for us, and we celebrate the newness in this 13th year of our relationship.

I am glad to say that my parents, who still are very active in their local Southern Baptist Church, have accepted me and my partner fully into the family and are proud to have me as a gay son. Unfortunately, this has not been an easy process, and has come about without any support from the institution they have most relied upon over their lifetime for spiritual growth and guidance. My only other sibling, a brother two years older than myself who is also gay, broke off communication with the family almost 14 years ago because he was unable to survive the abuse and intolerance encouraged by the church and express by my parents. His inability to live up to the church's expectations for him, not his sexuality, led him down a road of alcohol and drug abuse, and to this day we do not know if he is dead or alive.

I count myself blessed to have survived my religious background, and in fact have felt that the failures of the church have led me to develop a mature theology which has room not only for scripture, but also includes the example of love as exhibited by the life of Christ, the voice of the Holy Spirit, and the evidence of God working in and around me. I continue to feel the tug of the Holy Spirit in my life, and in December of 2001 moved to San Francisco to become CFO of Pacific School of Religion, the oldest protestant seminary west of the Mississippi. This theological school is founded on tradition, but committed to equipping both historic and emerging faith communities for ministries of compassion and justice. They recognize that ministry includes all people, and founded the Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies in Religion to further explore and support the work of faith communities in their outreach to sexual minorities.

Although I have found supportive, vibrant spiritual communities in the last 5 years of my life, many of my gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender brothers and sisters continue to suffer and feel less than whole because of the teaching of Southern Baptist and other denominations. For that reason, I traveled to New Orleans last June with a group called Soulforce, which is dedicated to the non-violent principles of resistance in seeking justice for God's gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender children. I have also scheduled vacation time this June to be in St. Louis and continue to provide a voice for those who are abused by the church.

I recently became friends with a woman in San Francisco who once belonged to Delores Street Baptist Church, a church that broke off all affiliation with the SBC many years ago because of disagreements with Southern Baptist positions. She told me she could not understand my journey to St. Louis, as she had given up hope in the SBC as an institution many years ago. Well, my hope has never lied with the SBC, or with any other institution for that matter, however I look forward to speaking my own truth and confronting the lies that continue to harm those around me, and will threaten the next generation of families. As Clarence Jordan once wrote, "Faith is life lived in scorn of the consequences."

Please feel free to write me if you get a chance prior to the Convention. You will be in my thoughts and prayers as you prepare for your journey to St. Louis.

Blessings,
John E. Davis

April 18, 2002

Mr. Gary A. Smith

Dear Mr. Smith,
Greetings in the name of Christ! We are very excited at having this opportunity to introduce ourselves to you, and hopeful that you will meet with us at the Southern Baptist Convention in St. Louis.

We are aware that you are a member of the Executive Committee for the SBC's 2002 conference and hope that you will prayerfully consider the SBC's stance on gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) Christians. As a member of the Executive Committee, your position on this issue will effect the spiritual health of hundreds of thousands of GLBT Southern Baptists.

We are members of the Metropolitan Community Church of Detroit, an open, affirming Christian Church founded on the principles of Christ's two commandments: Love God and love each other. Our church has members from many different religious backgrounds, including Southern Baptist. We have witnessed the suffering of these sisters and brothers as well as the healing they have found in a church that truly follows the path of Christ. Our concern is for the hundreds of thousands of oppressed and rejected sisters and brothers who have not found their way out of churches that practice spiritual violence. Our concern is for the sisters and brothers who do not understand that the love of Christ belongs to all people. Our concern is for those who would turn to violence against their GLBT sisters and brothers in the name of Christ. Our concern is for our GLBT sisters and brothers who may turn to suicide as the only way to escape the rejection of their church and their families.

We ask you to prayerfully reconsider the issue of homosexuality. We ask you to allow your spirit to open up to the Love of Christ in its purest form. We ask you to spend some time in silent prayer and allow God to speak to you. We are making a commitment to set aside 15 minutes each day in prayer, to ask God's guidance for you and for the SBC. We will be praying daily 12:30 - 12:45 Eastern Time. We ask you to share this prayer time with us and commit to praying daily 11:30 - 11:45 Central Time. We believe that through this shared prayer time, we will all become closer to Christ's love.

We will be in St. Louis this summer along with thousands of our sisters and brothers in Soulforce, an ecumenical group of volunteers committed to stopping spiritual violence and bringing truth to those who use misinterpretation of the scriptures to oppress others. Perhaps we could arrange to meet with you and share our stories. Please understand that we have no intention of being confrontational or disrespectful in any way. We simply would like to meet you, listen to you and perhaps pray with you that the Holy Spirit will lead the SBC on the path of truth and righteousness.

Please feel free to contact us to discuss our mutual desire to see Christ's truths prevail. You are in our daily prayers as you prepare for the journey to St. Louis.

In Christ,
Erin and Jennifer

Mr. Jerry L. Spencer
SBC Executive Committee Member

Dear Jerry,
In a few short months we will begin our "Journey to St. Louis" at the same time you will be attending the Southern Baptist Convention. We will be there peacefully encouraging an end to spiritual violence and abuse that is badly needed for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered (GLBT) persons.

Often times we ignore certain issues we are unfamiliar with or accept as true because it's too difficult to oppose ingrained beliefs which are often unsubstantiated. Putting faces on GLBT people and sharing real life situations gives this issue a different perspective. I would like to share my story with you.

I am the second to the oldest child from a family of seven children. My sister, Jenni, is the third of five girls, with a boy at each end. We were raised in a Christian home with all the things we needed by two parents who loved each other and were committed to each other and the family. We were a family that went to church every Sunday and the church was a big part of our lives.

The family seemed to be close for many years, getting together for Sunday afternoon meals and holidays. Mom prided herself in having all of the children and their families home for Christmas and other holidays, up until Jenni came out of the closet several years ago.

Jenni was always a little different in that she marched to her own drum. She was "rough and tumble", good looking, very musically talented, and a lot of fun to be with. She married and moved from Indiana to Kansas with her husband. My husband and I remained close to her and her husband, visiting often over the years. Because we were close, we had fairly good insight into their family life. He was a businessman, traveling most of the time. When they were together, we didn't sense genuine displays of affection. In fact, we had suspected just prior to her coming out, she was a lesbian. Jenni made her decision to leave her husband (after 20 years of marriage) which was not a big shock to our parents or us. Even though they believe divorce is wrong, our parents assured her they would be there for her... that is, up until the other shoe fell. Her announcement to the family that she was a lesbian was the unthinkable, unpardonable, and unforgivable sin our parents have not been able to get past. Consequently, their reaction to her confession was the beginning of the end of everything they held so dear.

I admit I had a few obstacles to overcome myself since I am also a daughter of the same parents that kept Jenni in the closet all those years. Because of his own family background and education, my husband, Doug, was most understanding of the situation. His attempts to offer words of comfort to the family at this critical time in Jenni's life when she needed the love and support of her parents and family, were drowned out by the crying and arguments that quickly erupted. Hateful letters to Jenni from various family members soon followed.

At Doug's advice, we went back to Kansas in an effort to help me sort through the many mixed emotions I had. I knew Jenni was still the same lovable, good-hearted sister she had always been. Her new love and partner, Dottie, is a loving and spirited woman that we immediately fell in love with too. My husband and I quickly recognized the love and commitment they had for each other and learned that these two women were building a family environment for their four sons (at home at the time - 7 sons total!) that provided all necessary ingredients for a loving home.

Fortunately Jenni's faith in God was strong. In spite of the knowledge that the rejection she was experiencing stemmed from her family's religious convictions, she continued to attend church and serve God. Then, a letter from our father informed the minister of this church that she was gay and advised him to prohibit her from full participation. I cannot begin to tell you how this hurt Jenni, but undaunted, she sought out a church where she would be accepted and could continue serving and worshipping. Worshipping with Jenni & Dottie at a Metropolitan Community Church proved to be one of the most spiritually rewarding experiences for us to date. We sensed genuine love and concern among these people (probably because of the rejection that was all too real to each of them) and immediately felt a part of their congregation.

I wish we could report to you there is a happy ending to this story. I wish we could say that Jenni is loved, supported and accepted by her family just as she is -- the way God made her -- a child of God. Two of my sisters and their families are, at least, "on the fence". Jenni & Dottie are welcome in their homes and we can go out together to visit and have a good time, but if they were forced to take a stand, I couldn't predict which way they would go. As far as my parents, two brothers, and one other sister is concerned, they are still holding fast to what they believe those six verses in the Bible say. There is little communication between them and Jenni and my husband and I have since been labeled "enablers". (Just weeks prior to being given this label, Jenni's pastor commended us for our support as "enablers"!) Each attempt we have made at communicating what we have learned has been countered with scripture that has been taken out of context or misinterpreted.

The happy ending, though, is in the lives of Jenni & Dottie. We have enjoyed spending time with them and have a great relationship with them. They have shared with us those parts of their past that were kept in the closet. Knowing what they have been through and continue to go through, shows strength and tremendous courage that Doug and I admire and respect and their faith in God has sustained them through it all. We support them completely.

Over the past few years, we have met many other gays and lesbians, attended lectures at Purdue University, read articles and books on the subject of homosexuality, and joined PFLAG. It was through a PFLAG newsletter that we first discovered the work of Rev. Mel White and Soulforce.

There are thousands of stories just like this one. Many of them end tragically. Imagine being told by your family that you are not welcome and then hearing from clergy you are not acceptable in God's sight. Many turn from God. My Bible tells me there are grave consequences for those who cause others to lose their faith. Many are driven to suicide. Many of your colleagues will receive similar stories. I hope you will take the time to assemble them and read them all before you travel to St. Louis. Since much of the basis for this persecution comes from the pulpits of our churches, we urge you to replace policies that discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation with those that allow inclusion of ALL children of God.

We hope to see you in St. Louis.

Yours in Christ,
Elaine & Doug Latia

April 12, 2002

John P. Harvill

Dear John P. Harvill,
My name is Samantha Cooper. I am 36 years old, and I live in Lexington, Kentucky. I didn't realize my sexual orientation until I was 19 years old, however my story begins long before that. I grew up in a small town in southeastern Kentucky. I was taught very early about Jesus and his gift of salvation. I was saved and baptized at the young age of 9. I remember the fear that was ingrained in me throughout my childhood and adolescence. I was concerned about pleasing God because of the fear of his judgement, not because I loved him and knew he loved me.

When I realized I was a lesbian at the age of 19, I believed that God was going to send me to Hell. I prayed and prayed that God would change my feelings, but he never did. Why would God do this to me? I spent many years avoiding a relationship with God, because I thought it was no use because I am gay, so God wouldn't listen to me anyway. I always knew there was an enormous empty space in my life that only God could fill.

In November of 1997, I was at an all time low point in my life. I was lying in bed one night and I prayed, "God help me!" At that moment I felt a peace like I had never felt. It was as if God wrapped his arms around me and said, "Sam, I made you and I love you the way you are." That was the beginning of my spiritual journey. Since that time, I have developed a true relationship with my father, God.

I am writing this letter because I have lived through the prejudice and judgmental attitudes of conservative christians. God helped me to move past that and reach the point I have today, but there are so many young people out there who are being taught fear. It is so painful when we don't live up to the expectations that people, not God place on us. God loves us just as we are because that is the way he created us. I thank God everyday for giving me peace and for helping me to realize that he loves me.

Respectfully,
Samantha Cooper

April 6, 2002

Kevin L. Kerr

Dear Mr. Kerr,
I am writing in response to the upcoming annual Southern Baptist Convention in St. Louis. As a member of Soulforce, I was provided with your name and address, and asked to write you a letter to tell you about my faith journey as a gay man.

I have been a Christian all of my life. I was born a Christian and have been active in various parishes. I have trained lay ministers for a variety of activities in the churches were I was a member, participated as a member of various parish liturgy committees, held positions on parish finance committees, and acted in the office of parish council president. My church has always been an essential part of my spiritual path to God from the time of my youth.

I found, however, at about the age of 10 years old that I was different. I did not seem to have the same life theme held by most of my peers and expected of me by my elders. This proved perplexing to me since the emotions I felt were contrary to the moral principles, which I was raised with. I became self-depreciating due to the contrary nature of my thoughts and emotions. By the time I was in my early 20's, the turmoil caused by this contrary condition had me considering drastic measures in order to resolve the confusion I felt. In college I found an alternative that did bring me solace in the turmoil - alcohol. It was not a successful alternative since it contributed to the deprecating sense of self that I carried around.

Believing in my faith and the power of spiritual guidance I sought the assistance of a variety of clergy in an attempt to resolve this conflict. I moved around the United States a great deal with my career, and therefore, experienced the expertise a large variety of clergy. In the period of 25 years, I sought pastoral guidance from 17 different ministers. Still I continued in a state of turmoil and confusion.

In 1996 I came to grips with the alcoholism. I received the support of an individual (a member of the clergy) who was pointed and direct with me regarding what the drinking was doing to my life. This caused me to look critically at myself. Following two months of sobriety, I went on a retreat - the retreat center I selected for my spiritual search was one I had all to myself for a 2-day mid-week period. During those two days I had access to a spiritual library and a minister (a recovering alcoholic) who provided pastoral guidance to me. I started the retreat with a prayer - asking God to show me the way He wanted me to take. I read a variety of spiritual literatures, continued in prayer and listened to spiritual presentations on audiotapes.

One of those audiotapes was significant to me. The tape contained a story told by a minister and I would like to relate that story to you. It is the story of a man named Samuel. Samuel lived on the island of Crete. He was an old man. When he realized that he was going to die, he told his four sons to carry him from his home and place him in the front yard of his home. As he took his last breath while lying on the ground, he grabbed a handful of soil and died. He then went to heaven and meet God at the gates of heaven. God greeted Samuel and said how happy He was to see Samuel. However, God said that Samuel needed to get rid of the handful of soil first before going into heaven. Samuel looked at the soil in his hand and then at God; he said he could not let go of the soil, it was all that he had left of his motherland. So God told Samuel to go sit outside the gates of heaven. In a while, one of Samuel's pub buddies came out and said how he and the pub gang missed Samuel in heaven. Samuel said that he would love to come in. The buddy said Samuel could come in but that Samuel would need to get rid of the soil. Samuel said he could not do that since it was all he had of his motherland. So Samuel sat outside the gates of heaven alone. A little while latter, one of Samuel's grandsons (a child who had died at the age of 5 years old) came out to see Samuel and asked his grandfather to come into heaven. Samuel looked at the soil in his hand. It was now starting to dry out and sift through his fingers. He realized that he was losing it. He let go of the soil and took the child's hand. They walked through the gates of heaven hand-in-hand. Upon entering the gates of heaven, Samuel found something he had not expected. He found ALL OF CRETE there for him.

The storyteller simply added at the end of the story - sometimes we need to let go of what we have to gain something greater.

It was at that point that I realized I needed to look critically at what I was holding onto - the facade of a person who I was not. The facade of someone who God had not intended me to be. I acknowledged this gift of love that God gave to me. Peacefulness overwhelmed me - a sense of calm that I had never experienced the 48 years that I had been alive.

Most Christian churches do not believe that they have to apologize for their teachings on homosexuality. These churches may not have to apologize for their teachings, however they needs to be aware of the hateful behaviors of people who were motivated to act in a cruel manner as a result of these teachings. These Christian churches cannot absolve themselves of the hateful acts perpetrated by their members who are acting based upon the doctrines of those churches.

The organizational structure of these churches perpetuates a belief that contributes to the discrimination of a segment of the human race.

I do feel persecuted by Christian churches and unloved. However, I do love my church even though that church will not accept me or my way of expressing love - a lo