by Soulforce Admin
Join the 2012 Soulforce Equality Ride for a weeklong series of events for the launch of the 5th Ride!
by Soulforce Admin
Photo by Yonathan Arava
By Equality Rider J.D. Melendez
Do I have what it takes? Why am I getting on a bus for two months with people I don’t know, going to places where I may not be welcomed, and having discussions with people who don’t agree with me?
I have had to answer these questions from my loved ones countless times over the past few months. But, even more so, I have asked myself those same questions. Will I be able to meet hate with love? Can I follow in the footsteps of past Riders who have worked so tirelessly towards the world that we all want to see – a world where our young people aren’t bullied into taking their own lives; a world where we can walk down the streets without having to fear for our safety; a world where a student can educate themselves without having to hide who they are in order to stay in school; a world where a child never has to hear hate being preached from the pulpit of their church? There is a lot at stake here.
For many years, I have avoided the conversation about faith and sexual/gender identity like the plague. I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian church and I grew tired of having to defend my right to be who I am. So, I walked away from the church. I believed it was a lost cause, and since I couldn’t justify being Queer and Christian to the people in my church, I decided that I would rather give up the Christian part of me than the Queer part of me. Although I always held on to my faith in God, it was always the most hidden part of me; it was the part of my identity that I never shared with anyone. However, there was always something nagging me in the back of my mind about my silence about my faith. I had grown pretty comfortable with not acknowledging my spiritual identity as long as it meant I didn’t have to argue with people about it. That comfort changed with the epidemic of Queer youth suicides the past few years. I knew the Queer community was missing something. We were living our lives as Queer adults while our young people were suffering in silence. So what could I do about it? How could I reach these young people?
At some point, it clicked. I have to be willing to have the hard conversations – the conversations that make me uncomfortable, but desperately need to happen. I realized that I was never going to reach these young people by staying in my comfort zone. I couldn’t help them by creating something that works for me, but leaves them behind. Rather, I have to work to change the system they are living in.
So, do I have what it takes? I hope so, but I’m still not sure. But I do know this: by having these conversations, by sharing our stories and breaking bread with the folks who disagree with us, we could plant a seed – a seed that one day could blossom into the world we all want to see.
About the Blogger:
J.D.Melendez is an activist and had worked with the homeless LGBT youth population in NYC for 13+ years. J.D. is also an aspiring documentary filmmaker and zombie expert.
Connect with J.D.:
Support J.D. by donating to Equality Ride »
by Soulforce Admin
Photo Credit: Patrick Lanigan
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time
-T.S. Eliot
When I was a kid, I had two problems: I didn’t want to be like anyone – especially my parents – and I was always worried about the future. My life was punctuated by these moments of worry and the desire to be different. When I was 10, I was worried about becoming like my dad. When I was 12, I was uncharacteristically worried about breaking rules. When I was 16, I was worried about college – so much so that I attended the first school that accepted me. Mostly though, when I was 21, I was worried about what people would think of me when I became authentic to my identity and “came out.”
This uncertainty – the unknown – was a scary and stressful eclipse over the stereotypical, childish trepidation about life.
I mentioned that, when I was a child, I was worried that I would become like my dad. One example is how he used to do this thing when he watched TV – he would lay with one leg propped up on the back of the couch with his arm over his head changing the channels. One time in college, I was flipping through channels (after studying profusely, of course!) when I noticed I had contorted in that exact, genetically prescribed position. After many similar moments, I realized that I had been so wrapped up in worrying about my own uniqueness that I neglected to actually become the person I was always meant to be. I became an inauthentic shadow of my true self.
I wanted so badly to be my own person. The realization that I was employing my father’s pose showed me that I was not different and needed to work harder to be original. However, in the midst of this discovery, I failed to see that I carry a piece of everyone I’ve ever known within me. And that makes me authentic. It’s what makes each of us authentic.
After I came out in 2007, I felt like I had stripped off the wet clothes I had been swimming in for the previous 21 years. I was relieved of carrying the fake identities. So, it has been a journey over the last 5 years as I have come to understand that, though we may share certain identities of our own with others, we are all originals. Eventually, I even came to be proud to have acquired some of the quirky traits of my parents!
Most importantly, I am now 26 and the only thing I currently spend my time worrying about is how much time I wasted in the past worrying. Today, I can declare my happiness, health, and holistic pursuit of authenticity! I never could have found myself being a part of anything as powerful as the Equality Ride had I not stopped worrying and been more true to myself. Now, I have come to appreciate life’s uncertainty, and I believe I thrive in its presence. I like to think about the words of Coco Chanel: “Uncertain times arouse an instinctive desire for authenticity.” This trip may be a lot of things, but it is not anything short of uncertain – and that uncertainty is a beautiful thing.
About the Blogger:
Zachary Pullin pulls his beliefs about humanity from his Native American roots. He believes that the conversation must begin with compelling our brothers and sisters in faith communities to believe with their hearts and not their minds.
Connect with Zachary:
Facebook | Twitter (@zacharybob)
Support Zachary by donating to Equality Ride »by Soulforce
WASHINGTON — At a panel discussion at the Council for Christian Colleges and Universities’ annual meeting of presidents today, the presenters made one thing clear: American culture may have changed, but their institutions’ interpretation of the Bible — which presents homosexuality as immoral — will not.
So the discussion, as described by the panelists and members of the audience, dealt not with whether colleges should change their attitudes toward gay students, but how to deal with the controversy that breaks out when students or alumni pressure a college to change.
(more...)by Soulforce Admin
Photo Credit: Shirin K.A. Winiger
By Equality Rider Ryan Barnette
I remember the game well. A kid would pick up a ball on our elementary school playing field. We would then yell, “He’s the queer—get him!” We chased him through the football field, around the swing sets, and onto the baseball diamond, where we finally knocked him over and jumped one after the other onto him. We smeared the queer.
In high school, we called Jeffrey Dooly a “faggot.” We shouted it down the hallways at him and, if he entered a restroom we were using, we left quickly with that word on our breath. There was no way we would let him tag us with his gayness.
College was one massive game of hide and seek. My eyes, full of longing, followed a cute peer as he walked by. If he happened to glance back, I shifted my gaze and hid in some deeper recess of my soul. I feared that if I dropped my straight public persona and revealed all of my hidden desires, no one would find me worth seeking.
We can handle only so many games, so many rounds of our hearts playing tug of war against our minds, before we split in two. Leading two lives, one relegated to the dark, leaves us isolated and afraid of the light. I wonder what choice in the matter I had as a youth. My parents said that I was not to associate with gay people. My pastor said that gay people were sick. My classmates said that “gay” meant “stupid.” It seemed crucial to disassociate from the part of me that my parents, pastor, and classmates feared.
My saving grace was a community of faith called Fusion. And that is exactly what the small gathering of LGBTQ and affirming folks did for me: they fused my two selves. The scared, hidden Ryan finally embraced the Ryan desperately struggling to be accepted. Brennan Manning wrote, “To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God’s grace means.” At Fusion, I heard life stories fully told, even the messy bits. This group of unashamed, joyous people shone the light on the path to wholeness.
Coming out and claiming all of me, I learned how to stop fearing and how to start genuinely loving myself and others. This wasn’t a pain-free process. Coming out to my parents meant hearing some of the most piercing words ever used against me. Consumed in shock and fear, my mom and dad threw words like “disgusting,” “completely disgraceful,” and “unlovable” at my exposed heart as if it were a dartboard.
It took time and many difficult conversations, but my parents put away their darts and received my forgiveness in full. I’ve seen a horrible mess rebuilt and repurposed for good. Having seen the positive transformation in my family is how I know that everyone possesses such deep potential for change. Having seen the resulting growth in our relationship is how I know change is worth pursuing.
Because of my journey so far, I’m joining the 2012 Equality Ride. We will travel across the country, announcing that cruel games are over. It is not OK to play with the lives of others. Make it safe to leave dark, suffocating closets. Put down your darts and dodge balls, the damaging words easily thrown yet irretrievable. Create safe, smear-free environments for everyone. There is a creative spirit calling all of us to play. But the name of the game is love.
About the Blogger:
Ryan Barnette’s perfect day includes hot tea, a game of Catan, Japanese fiction, and increased justice for the disenfranchised.
Support Ryan by donating to Equality Ride »by Soulforce Admin
The 2012 Equality Riders
By Equality Rider Ibrahim Vicks
When I returned back to my daily routine after a week of training with 16 strangers, I knew that my life had been changed. Everyone back home greeted me with hellos and requests for a play by play of my “trip.” But, amidst these encouraging conversations, there was one question that kept coming back to the forefront of my mind, one thing that consumed my thoughts – “How am I going to coordinate a city stop on the ride?”
This goal – the goal that I was charged with upon my leaving Miami – was imprinted in my bones. It was pushing me to work harder every day. I knew when I was offered a position on the 2012 Equality Ride that I was signing up for something much bigger than myself. What I wasn’t prepared for was that my entire life would become oriented toward the success of this year’s ride.
Since our first training, every day that I haven’t done something productive has been a day wasted and lost. I have never been so organized at any other time in my life, never so order-oriented. I admit that, at first, I was afraid of becoming overwhelmed by all of the work that needed to be done. But that was all for naught, because within hours of my return, I got a phone call. I got an email. I got a text message from one of my fellow riders checking up on me to make sure I got home safely, offering any assistance and guidance they had at their disposal, even taking the initiative to get me connected to those who could better help me.
I no longer felt as if I was alone. Instead, I felt that there were people who had my back – no matter what. That feeling is now empowering me to go above and beyond, to set goals for myself as a 2012 Equality Rider and as a person. The Ride has shifted my life toward the service of others, and I wouldn’t have it any other way; the rewards are far greater than the sacrifice. Not only do I get to see the country (for free), but I also get to impact the lives of people that I probably wouldn’t have met otherwise. We haven’t even left yet, and I already feel my newfound sense of purpose changing both my life the lives of those around me.
Support Ibrahim by donating to Hit The Road and Equality Ride »by Soulforce Admin
This article was reprinted with permission from The Advocate. The director of programs for Soulforce Equality Ride sees this year’s event as all the more important given the political backdrop it will happen against.
To read the full article, please follow this link: http://www.advocate.com/Politics/Commentary/Oped_While_the_Candidates_Run_We_Ride/
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