Fresno Pacific University

The past 14 hours in Fresno, CA have been a whirlwind of emotions ranging from joy to frustration. We have been on the campus of Fresno Pacific University (FPU) where we have engaged in some of the best dialogue of the ride thus far. The conversations with students, staff, and faculty have been both challenging and productive. I for one feel as though I understand even more fully what it is to be an Equality Rider–what it is like to be barraged with questions, misconceptions, and Bible verses taken out of context.

Arriving on campus, we enjoyed a continental breakfast seated at various tables intermixed with administration and faculty. The conversation started almost immediately as FPU representatives were very interested in hearing about our backgrounds and stories. I had the pleasure of sitting with Rod Reed, a Pastor at FPU who had been the contact person who helped plan our visit to the campus. Myself and several other Equality Riders sat and talked with him for hours as we each told our own personal story of faith and identity and then asked him to address our concerns with regard to the FPU policy. Pastor Reed responded to each of our concerns but often provided disappointing answers.

The Mennonite Brethren is a denomination for which I hold great respect. They are active in the community and concerned about social justice and gender and racial equality, and it saddens me to realize that a group of people so enlightened and concerned about those topics could have such a long way to go in terms of LGBT equality. I respect Pastor Reed and FPU for their willingness to have this conversation, but could not help wanting to cry out as the conversation led in circles. I was sitting before a man who showed more love and compassion than most people I have met, and yet I could not lead him to understand that I am not a disease, or a mistake, or a curse, or a sin; I am a person, created wholly and fully by God and affirmed by God as a gay man.

As the conversation with Pastor Reed came to a close, dozens of other conversations similar to it continued throughout the day. We met people of various backgrounds, in terms of both their faith and their upbringing. One woman came to the room that had been provided for us and simply asked for the ability to pose questions. She said she didn’t understand anything about being LGBT or even what those terms meant. Her questions were genuine, and we were able to have real dialogue regarding faith and sexual orientation. At the end of the day, she came back and found me again, but this time she brought three friends with her, hoping that they too might be touched by our stories in the same way that she had been.

Many great conversations also occurred in the classrooms that we were invited to visit. Equality Riders participated in class discussions on the Biblical history of Leviticus, Corinthians, and Romans, facilitated conversations on creating safe spaces for LGBT people, and made a variety of presentations in other classes at the invitation of FPU professors.

Unfortunately, not all of our encounters were so friendly or respectful. A pair of students spent about an hour sharing with me their belief that I could not possibly have accepted Christ into my heart because if I had, he would have cured me of this disease. Shortly thereafter, another student shared his belief that being gay was a curse placed upon me because of sins committed by members of my family. It was frustrating and painful that in a community so obviously committed to education, social justice, and Christian values, people could actually believe that my love for another man was a curse placed upon my family and me.

At the end of the day, we all joined together again–the faculty, administration, students, and Equality Riders. We shared our experiences on campus and talked about where we go from here. One professor shared her own story of having many gay Christian friends and wanting to see safe spaces and equal treatment for the LGBT community at FPU. Another professor shared his desire to expand this conversation and express his concerns not just at FPU but within the greater Mennonite church. We exchanged hugs and expressed our gratitude to one another for a great day of dialogue.

At this final meeting, I felt sorrow and pain that in a room of such amazing and intelligent people, I was unable to fully express the damaging effects that their policies have on LGBT people; sorrow and pain that despite a great day of dialogue, there was still a separation of our two communities; but mostly, sorrow and pain at knowing that while I had a good day, was well fed, and had the opportunity to have my voice heard, so many others around the country and even on FPU campus had not.

Dialogue is a great step, and it’s commendable to be open to conversation, but regardless of the dialogue that is happening, people are still dying. I commend FPU on being open to this conversation and for showing us Christian hospitality, but I remind FPU and all of those reading this blog that real people–your friends, relatives, family members, acquaintances, and co-workers–are suffering, some even dying, every day because they are not allowed to live the life that God has intended for them.

I can only hope that the dialogue that occurred at FPU will lead to the creation of a space for LGBT students to be true to themselves.

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