This guest post is from Unfinished Lives which is a place of public discourse which remembers and honors LGBT hate crime victims.

Out Impact, the Gay Online Magazine, has a feature news article on the work of the Unfinished Lives Project and its Director, Dr. Stephen V. Sprinkle, in its latest issue.  Chrishelle Griffin, a graduate of Spelman College, carried out the interview with Dr. Sprinkle for Out Impact.

In a portion of the Q & A, Griffin asked Dr. Sprinkle what he believes are the most glaring misconceptions about hate crimes against LGBTQ people. “Let me share two with you,” Sprinkle responded..  ”The first is that LGBTQ hate crimes victims were engaging in ‘risky’ behaviors that contributed to their deaths.  This is nothing but an internalized version of the old ‘gay panic defense’ that says we are somehow responsible for the victimization we suffer.  I never met a gay hate crimes survivor who had a death wish,” Sprinkle said.  ”These women and men were simply trying to live what is normal for them.  They were looking for love, seeking companionship, or whatever.  Straight people do the same sorts of things all the time.  We, however, live in a culture that makes our lives vulnerable—all of our lives, for every one of us. That is the message most of us never seem to get. As long as the majority culture permits some of us to be killed and maimed, every one of us is at risk.”

(more…)

John D. Powell, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist. He was a staff psychologist at the University of Illinois Counseling Center from 1984-2007. During his 23 years there, he served in several capacities in addition to providing individual and group therapy: Coordinator of Intern Training, Chair of Trauma Response Team, Adjunct Professor in Psychology, and clinical supervisor for many doctoral trainees.

The National Association of Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) recently published a letter addressing some misconceptions and misinformation regarding NARTH.  The letter is respectful in its tone and compelling in its content, as long as one holds the same views of homosexuality as NARTH.  Their view is that people who are “dissatisfied with their unwanted homosexual attractions should be given the opportunity to choose their own path and to pursue change if they so desire.”  The implication is that those who discover they are attracted to some individuals of the same sex but are uncomfortable with that attraction are probably not homosexual to begin with, and should therefore have the chance to “receive assistance in pursuing a different identity.”

While this sounds reasonable and respectful, NARTH appears to dismiss the fact that a vast majority of gay and lesbian youth and adults who have grown comfortably into their sexual identity have also experienced periods of dissatisfaction with their unwanted homosexual attractions during the coming out process.  With few exceptions, gay and lesbian college students with whom I have worked described times during which they adamantly did not want to be gay.  It is often a long and arduous emotional and interpersonal journey from initial curiosity and confusion to accepting their own identity.  That journey almost always involves going through periods of profound fear of being gay and a longing that it not be true.  These feelings are particularly intense in the early stages of coming out.  Who would want to be gay or lesbian in a family, church, school, or culture that held such behavior as unacceptable, sinful, perverted, or shameful?  With those messages in their ears, who would not have periods of “dissatisfaction with unwanted homosexual attraction?”

(more…)

It all started with our wedding: the be-medaled uniforms on one side, the prochoice buttons on the other.  Nope, nope, it started with the intervention, the dinner at which my friends planned to confront the self-delusional rationalization that I, the leftwing columnist, had contrived for accepting the proposal of a Marine. A Marine colonel, no less. Problem was, it turned out they liked him.

And he met my political litmus tests: He is prochoice, figures sexual orientation is irrelevant in battle, and actually gives thought to California’s unbridled ballot measures. Our marriage proceeded, and we’ve been playing house ever since, despite occasionally cancelling out each other’s votes.

Then, when Prop. 8 passed in 2008, my response was to staple a sign to our front gate: I DO Support the Freedom to Marry.

My husband came home, and the conversation went something like this:

(more…)

My business partner, Rachel Lee, and I were present at the Protest against the National Organization for Marriage when they were in St. Louis last week.  We captured video and have created a story that we would like to share with you.

Katie Hotze is student clergy with MCC of Greater Saint Louis

I was present at the NOM rally at the State Capitol in Raleigh on Tuesday, Aug. 10.  Our counter-demonstration across the street outnumbered the NOM rally by 4 to 1.  I was there wearing my Soulforce T-Shirt, holding my rainbow umbrella and pinwheel, and carrying a sign that read:   “Love=Love Support Marriage Equality”.  Yours truly was featured prominently in the following video

Cris Elkins is a long-time Soulforce supporter and participant.