Fellow Northern Router Matt Comer captured this compelling testimony and posted it online. Many, many props go out to him and to a heartfelt thank-you to Milfred, who we had the pleasure of staying with in Utica, NY.
The New York Right to Marry campaign is coming to a close. The Northern Route said goodbye to Utica, New York this morning and arrived in New York City not too long ago. Tomorrow brings a day of tying up lose ends, following up with the folks we met along the way, debriefing our experiences, and planning for the future. I’m excited to meet up with the 24 other young adults if only for a day.
As my van traveled through the North Country, we documented our progress and the stories of some of those we met along the way. Some of the Right to Marry participants already shared their thoughts on why marriage is important (here and here) and soon we’ll have the stories of New York citizens and couples to share with you too.
For now, here’s a look at our time up north:
Another round of interviews with Right to Marry participants talking about why they would like to see marriage equality in New York. Fellow rider Matt Hill Comer and I have been working on a video to document our travels in the North Country which will be coming soon.
On Monday, we resumed our journey and drove down to Gouverneur to meet with the Assemblywoman Dede Scozzafava in her district office. Dan Spink, our wonderful host from Canton, led the way to the meeting. Scozzafava is one of only four Republican legislators who have recently voted for marriage equality in New York. We wanted to thank the Assemblywoman for her courageous stance and support. Due to scheduling conflicts, we met with her staff.
On the way to the meeting, as we watched miles and miles of fields and pastures roll by, I wondered how someone could make an informed decision about what’s right in such a remote locale where conversations about LGBT equality seldom happen. We’ve been visiting with gay and lesbian people all along our trip. Not surprisingly, it is in rural areas like the North Country where marriage inequality hits the hardest and its dire consequences become most self-evident. When you live in welcoming and affirming communities (which tend to be urban and politically more liberal), the brunt of legal discrimination is couched in sympathetic rhetoric and a sense of progress. In places with hostile faith environments and without supportive networks, however, it could be life-saving for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender families to fall back on the letter of the law. Unfortunately, the marriage laws work against them. One can argue that politicians representing areas such as Northern New York should be at the forefront of the movement for marriage equality since it would immediately and fully protect some of their most vulnerable constituents.
During our PFLAG/PRISM picnic in Canton we met a former classmate of the Assemblywoman Scozzafava who met with her prior to the vote to explain the significance of this bill and what it would mean for him to be granted the legal protections and responsibilities of marriage. He also helped clarify the inequity between civil unions and marriage. It turns out that conversation among old friends helped determine the Assemblywoman’s position on this issue. It only further goes to prove the importance of being out and proud in one’s community no matter how challenging it might be. It is easy to pass laws against “those people” but it is nearly impossible to discriminate against people you know, your neighbors and friends.
We looked forward to participating in another county fair later in the day, but since it had rained for several days and over the weekend, the fair was not yet open. So we took a moment to write thank you notes for our supporters who have donated to the Right to Marry campaign thus far. All financial contributions make our educational journey possible. So look for some North Country love coming your way! And if you have not yet had a chance to donate to this important effort, please, do so on our website. Tonight we go on to our next destination, Watertown, or H2O-town as we’ve come to call it amongst ourselves.
Onwards, Alexey Bulokhov
By Kalil Cohen
The North Van spent today in Watertown New York, a town of about 30,000 people located next to one of our countries largest military bases, Fort Drum. This morning we split up into two groups to meet with two legislators from the area. Four of us and Diane, a local lesbian woman from Watertown, met with Senator Wright’s staff. We met with two staff members in a cordial and fairly extensive meeting. Senator Wright has clearly stated that he is against marriage equality, along with other LGBT legislation. Though his staffers could not articulate exactly why this is, they cited a conservative constituency and Christian values as major concerns for the Senator. To counter these arguments we cited the great numbers of Watertown residents (over 400 so far) who have signed a marriage equality petition being circulated by our hosts, Diane and her partner Joanne as well as many of their friends and colleagues. Diane also gave him a copy of a book written by her Pastor Ron from the United Church of Christ regarding same-sex relationships and Christianity. We also left the Senator with our list of 10 questions to consider what his reality would be like if his wife were to be considered as only a roommate, as many of our relationships are currently seen by the state of New York. The meeting felt fairly productive as his staffers genuinely wanted to hear our views and arguments for why marriage equality is important, and took notes while we were there which they will hopefully share with the Senator. Four other members of our van met with the Chief of Staff of Assemblyman Aubertine, who voted no when the bill passed the house. This meeting sounded slightly less productive as the staff member seemed more closed off the the important points in support of marriage equality that were made.
Following our morning meetings we went to make signs reading ‘Bring Freedom Home, Support Marriage Equality’ which we held up in the main square in downtown Watertown. This sign was a play on a lot of militaristic language that sounds familiar to all Americans these days, but especially to people living so close to a military base. The goal of the action was for our signs to be seen on the webcam that is streaming from that spot. Unfortunately they were unreadable on the internet because of the low resolution image of the square, however they were seen by the passing cars and pedestrians during the action. As we were leaving, we encountered two people. One was a woman vehemently opposed to LGBT rights, who was carrying her bible when she passed by and cornered two of our members to proselytize why we should have no rights at all. She did not seem entirely with it, however, so although we were hoping to draw the connections of our shared oppressions, it was not a possible conversation at that time. The other person was a member of Emmanuel Congregational Church, an open and affirming UCC church in town where we held a community forum later in the evening. He is a lawyer and has his office in the town arcade, and offered to let us put our marriage equality signs up in his office window, which we quickly agreed to. These two individuals had starkly opposed reactions to our presence and highlighted the extremes of viewpoints on the issue of marriage equality, and the importance of our presence here.
After our action at the town square and lunch, we went door knocking around town. We only had about an hour, with mixed results. Most people were not home, some were busy, but a few were interested and wanted literature and more information about getting involved. Next we headed to Emmanuel Congregational Church for a potluck with 10 or so church members and just spent time hanging out with them, including our wonderful hosts Joanne and her partner Diane, and Mary and her partner Linda. During the lull between dinner and the community forum, we had those present write personal letters to their representatives about why this issue is so important to them, because Senator Wright’s staff had indicated at our meeting in the morning that this is the most powerful and effective way to affect his standpoint on an issue. After dinner we had an amazing meeting with 20+ community members. First we shared our experiences with Soulforce Q and the Right to Marry campaign, and showed our newly completed documentary of our trip thus far. Then we talked about our meeting with their representatives, our shoe campaign regarding Senator Bruno, and opened the floor for discussion. The discussion that followed was powerful and inspiring. The people at the meeting had collectively gotten over 400 signatures in support of marriage equality, and were eager to hear more and get more involved. During the forum there were a lot of articulate and moving stories, one woman in particular causing most of us to tear up with her words. After the forum we got a few more interviews to add to our documentary, and everyone in the room felt more inspired and energized to keep working on this issue. I felt so grateful to our hosts and their loving faith community for their support and encouragement which helped reignite my own faith and hope for the future of our cause.
Sunday morning began as many Sundays do, in a church. Our Canton hosts graciously took us to their local United Methodist church. After our daily ritual of Dunkin Donuts coffee, we went back to Dan’s to prepare for the afternoon pot luck. Local supporters came out to hear our stories, ask questions, and find their own ways to get involved. A PFLAG mom shared her concerns of whether her daughter’s union will be legally recognized. All of the residents seemed very energized by the Walk A Mile In My Shoes idea and I’m confident Senate Majority Leader Bruno can be expecting a few more pairs!
As we travel across the state, one thing continues to strike me: normalcy. As I walk into each new house that we stay in, I feel as if I’m walking into my own family’s home. Framed pictures line the walls, children’s artwork hangs on the refrigerator. I wonder what the marriage equality opponents would say while standing in these homes. Would they see the destruction of the institution of marriage or the enrichment of it? I have to imagine it would be the latter.
I am constantly inspired by the men and women of New York that I met along the way and grateful for the excellent model of commitment and marriage which they have modeled for me, even in the absence of legal recognition.
By Meg Sneed
This morning we packed up our belongings from our “home” in Plattsburgh and headed on a scenic drive to Lake Placid. When we arrived in town the streets where lined with people who were in town for the Ironman that was taking place that weekend in Lake Placid. We picked up a wedding cake and headed to main street in our “Do you believe in Marriage? I do.“ t-shirts and picked a spot near the water to start handing out wedding cake. With the cake we also handed out literature that explained the importance of Gay Marriage and how for us Marriage is not “A piece of cake”. Because it was iron man weekend giving away cake turned out to be a little more difficult than we first imagined, but even when people where unwilling to take a piece of cake they often took literature and were open to dialog with us.
We found that there were a lot of Canadians in town many of whom where shocked that in the U.S. Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Americans do not have equal marriage rights. There was a man who walked by and said that he would take a piece of cake because he had voted yes on the bill, and it turned out to be an Assemblyman of the 121st district Al Stirpe. There was a mother and a daughter who stated that because of the Bible they could not be for Marriage Equality and they had an at length discussion with Brian and Matt about the Bible and homosexuality. We also spoke to many New Yorkers including two straight couples with young children who stated that they saw Marriage Equality as a Civil Rights Issue.
At the end of our day in Lake Placid we gave away 100 pieces of cake and handed out literature and started the conversation about Marriage Equality with New Yorkers, Canadians, and Americans from across the United States. From here we will be headed to Canton, New York.
Originally written by Cat Forrester
We left Albany and headed to Fort Edward to meet with Assemblyman Roy McDonald. However, he was not available to speak with us, so we spoke with his chief of staff, Mark Luciano. It was a fairly frustrating meeting, as Mark assured us that he understood and respected our cause, but still suggested that we should take a different tactic, faulting “touchy-feely” reasons, such as the relationship component of marriage, for the failure of the bill to be heard in the Senate or strongly supported in the Assembly. He also urged us to understand that while our struggle was totally valid, the political process and “the system” were working against us and offered to help advise us on how to improve our campaign.
We tried to convey to Mr. Luciano that the mission of Soulforce Q and of the Right to Marry Campaign is not solely to encourage the passage of this bill, but rather to talk to New Yorkers about marriage equality, and to change the hearts and minds of those opposed to equality in New York State.
Meeting with Assemblywoman Teresa Sayward in Glens Falls was a welcome follow-up to our meeting at Assemblyman McDonald’s office. Sayward was one of only four Republicans to vote yes on the marriage equality bill, and the only Republican co-sponsor. We brought her a vase of flowers in shades of purple and pink to show our appreciation of her support. She spoke to us about her gay son and shared her conviction that once you accept the premise that being GLBT is not a choice, it becomes clear that marriage equality is a civil rights issue and not a moral or religious issue. Meeting with her was both encouraging and inspiring.
After leaving Assemblywoman Sayward’s office, we piled in the van and headed to Plattsburgh, where we would be staying at the house of Jen and Staci and their daughter Amelia, who were offering up their home to us although they were out of town. Their friend Amanda let us into the house, pointing out the vegetable garden and the cat, O’Malley. Their house is beautiful and charming, and we have been infused with a new passion to help people like Staci, Jen and Amelia to be able to protect their family.
By Rob Fojtik
We met with Republican Assemblywoman Janet Duprey in Plattsburgh today, who had voted against marriage equality when Gov. Spitzer’s bill was up for a vote. She’s a good friend of Assemblywoman Sayward, and at the time of the vote, she was extremely torn on the issue. After the bill passed the lower house, she was quoted in a local newspaper as being completely for some legal recognition of same-sex relationships, such as civil unions, but said she would need more education on the issue of marriage per se.
Since that vote, she has been called, written to, and visited by many on the side of equality, and it seems she may be more educated if the bill is reintroduced in 2009 (it can still be voted on in the Senate in 2008 before it has to be reintroduced in the Assembly). She cited the American Academy of Pediatrics report on same-sex child rearing, in which the importance of marriage is extolled, as a major influence in her reconsideration of marriage equality. She wouldn’t promise a vote “yes” if there is a next time, but I think it is safe to say she will make a better-informed decision.
After meeting with Ms. Duprey, the Unitarian Universalists of Plattsburgh hosted us for a potluck barbeque and a showing of the documentary “I Can’t Marry You.” There was a pretty good turn out, and plenty of discussion. We left them with some buttons and some literature to pass out to their friends, and with any luck, people will keep this important discussion about equality going.
By now we are a few days into the New York Right to Marry campaign. With grassroots activism comes limited resources and internet isn’t a top priority. Luckily we’ve been blessed with houses and churches who have internet to share and here in Plattsburg, we found a great coffee shop–Koffee Kat–to sit in and work while talking with locals and of course, drinking some coffee!
I sat down with a few RtM participants before we departed Albany to talk about why marriage matters. Here’s what they have to say: