We spent our last day in Albany at the Saratoga County Fair, where we were met with a variety of reactions to our presence there. I spoke with several people who were entirely behind civil unions but took issue with the word “marriage.” Others refused entirely to talk with me because they were religious, while a few were totally behind the fight for marriage equality. I think we got a pretty good idea of what we should expect in the next week and a half in the North Country, and I am very excited by the challenge of changing people’s hearts and minds about my right to marry.
We also had the privilege of talking to a very nice computer engineer in the U.S. Marines who was there at the recruitment booth. I was reading a brochure on enlisting, and when she asked if I was interested in joining, I told her about my attempt to enlist in the Army Reserve last summer with Soulforce’s Right to Serve campaign. She personally had no objection to serving alongside an otherwise able college graduate, but unfortunately, the military is not a democracy; despite the overwhelming willingness of a majority of service members to work with openly gay and lesbian soldiers, the federal government continues to jeopardize the safety of our troops by overworking them and perpetuates the myth that gays and lesbians are inferior in combat (N.B. an estimated 65,000 servicemembers live in silence but fight with the best of our country’s best, according to the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network).
We’ve compiled a list of some of our experiences below, some very positive and validating of our trip, others more challenging. Regardless, our stop at the fair definitely got people talking, and we did manage to get out some information to an area generally uninformed on LGBT issues.
-Rob Fojtik

Where Soulforce Q goes, questions follow. Maybe we bring them on ourselves. It’s as if we wear shirts that read, “Do you believe in marriage? I do.” on purpose to draw attention to ourselves.
We wore these shirts to the Saratoga County Fair to see what kinds of conversations we could stir up amongst the oxen and tractors and found that not all are ready to shake our hands but many are willing to wink on the sly or send a thumbs-up from across the ferris wheel.
This is Soulforce Q’s first civil disobedience-free campaign. As a co-director of the 2007 Equality Ride, I became used to my phone ring as an alarm call for Riders in jail or distress; this is not what I expected to hear on our first day out and about in the North Country.
By the time Alexey and I arrived on the ’scene’ our Riders had been asked to stop handing out literature to people who ask for it. We were also told that we could not pursue conversation. Cat asked if we were allowed to wear our shirts and as the security chief contemplated his response, I provided a ‘yes’ and asked that we leave the station. Soon after, Rob said that he was going to stash his literature in his pocket and the security chief suggested that we throw it away. Rest assured that no literature was thrown away today! Like our rights, I try to keep educational resources OUT of the trash.
-Katie Higgins

Today we met a woman who has been married for 43 years, and is a mother, grandmother and great grandmother. She told us a story about a family friend who is with her partner, and together they had raised an adopted child, as well as a biological child. She was unsure how their relationship was affected by New York not allowing them the right to marry. She was unaware of the costs of a second parent adoption and the long legal process through which a same-gender couple must go. She was also unaware of the inability to visit a sick partner in a time of crisis. After speaking with her, she wished us well on our journey and fight for marriage equality.
-Meg Sneed

One of the most rewarding parts of today was the affirming people we met, especially the ones who took us by surprise. A woman running one of the games at the Saratoga County Fair told us about her gay brother and took a button. On our way out, the sheriffs at their booth asked us to take a survey, but instead ended up asking us about our t-shirts. We were asked to tell all of the sheriffs about the Right to Marry campaign.
On our way out after enlisting a young woman to take our picture outside of the fairgrounds, another young woman approached us to ask for a button for herself and her mother. Despite the rain and some frustration at the earlier attempts by the county fair officials to prevent us from talking to people, the fair was a rewarding experience for me because it showed me that people were really genuinely interested and that our visibility here is important.
-Cat Forrester

A woman working at a concessions stand handed us our chips, winked and said, “By the way, I really appreciate your matching shirts”…
The high school students working as parking attendants at the fair came up to us and asked about our T-shirts. They were excited about our presence there and asked if there was anything they could do. It was great to see them directing traffic with Right to Marry buttons on their rain ponchos!
-Alexey Bulokhov

At the Saratoga County Fair, I was pleasantly surprised with the mostly positive response regarding marriage equality from people in attendance. I mostly talked to older people, parents and grandparents, with mixed results. As a person who works with children, however, my real interest is in the youth. So, as rewarding as those conversations were, it was at the end of the fair that I felt the most fulfilled, when a teenage girl approached me and wanted Soulforce Q Right to Marry pins for herself and her mother. Knowing that she and her family appreciated that we were there and the work we were doing gave me a sense of the impact of our presence at their country fair. Later in the evening I found out that other teenagers at the fair had noticed our presence and called a local LGBT youth leader to explain how excited they had been to see us and that they wanted to get involved with our campaign. As a result of our presence at the fair, a couple of 18 year-olds who saw us there will be accompanying us tomorrow to talk to their representatives!
-Kalil Cohen

After an exciting, albeit wet, day at the Saratoga County Fair, the northern van joined up with Albany’s MCC church for an evening forum featuring a documentary screening, discussion of our work ahead, and sharing of stories. I for one was very encouraged to meet the locals of Albany and hear their stories. As our evening was winding down, four young adults made their way into Emmanuel Baptist Church. The conversation quickly moved from marriage equality to Biblical morality as we cleared out of the church.

Matt, Katie, Cat, Rob, and I sat on the stairs of the church and continued to talk about faith, God, and identity. I found many commonalities with these individuals: growing up being taught that being gay is sinful, being told that change is possible and necessary, and struggling to stay focused on God in the midst of so much uncertainty. I did not find commonality in their insistence that accepting one’s sexual orientation and seeking to live that out in a healthy and Christ-centered way is sin.

At the fair today, I met a variety of people–many excited to meet us, a few interested to learn what we were about, and one or two who were very antagonistic. The time I spent with these four individuals reminded me more than anything of the importance of what we are doing. Beyond the rhetoric and the lobbying organizations there are individual lives hanging in the balance. Lives of people like Eli, Steven, Crystal, and Priyali who have been caught in the crossfire, caused to think that their ability to love and support is shameful and sinful.

My love is not a sin.

And so tomorrow we wake up and will meet with Senator Farley, Assemblywoman Sayward, and Assemblyman McDonald to remind them of the New Yorkers in their districts who need to know that they are valued. These lawmakers have the opportunity to be a powerful voice. I wonder where Eli, Steven, Crystal and Priyali would be if they knew that God, their church, and their community loved them and supported them?

I’m excited at the prospect of living in a country that would never even question my right to marry in he first place. And I’m excited at the role that these lawmakers and the other citizens that we meet will play.

Well, we really didn’t meet with “the man.” We actually met with his staff, but the experience was a good one. On Monday, the young activists of the North Van trekked to the New York State Capitol Building in order to kickoff the Right to Marry Campaign to address issues surrounding marriage equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people in the State of New York. We met with Rebecca Rodriguez, the Legislative Fellow in charge of human and civil rights for Senate Majority Leader, Senator Joe Bruno.

Initially, we had been unable to schedule a meeting with the Senator’s office at all. The meeting on Monday came as a pleasant surprise, although we wished we had been able to meet with the Senator himself.

During the meeting we discussed many issues. Brian Murphy, a native of Maryland who is moving to New York City in the near future, spoke of how his ability to marry will affect his life as a person and as a future citizen of the state.

When it was my turn to speak I called upon higher American ideals of liberty and equality, explaining to Ms. Rodriguez that American jurisprudence has shown that the promise of “life, liberty and pursuit of happiness” includes the right to marry a person of one’s own choosing. I urged Ms. Rodriguez to remind Senator Bruno that his duty as an elected official in this great nation includes ensuring and guaranteeing every citizen the right to life, liberty and happiness.

We were happy to know that Ms. Rodriguez actually had no personal problem with marriage equality for all citizens, although she stressed that it was important for us to continue pushing a conversation within the community. We urged her to remind Senator Bruno that no amount of conversation in the citizenry will matter if their legislators ignore what we feel is among some of the most important matters which affect personally the everyday lives and loves of LGBT people.

Near the end of the meeting Brian offered what would be the beginning of what – we hope – is a massive state-wide campaign empowering the citizens of New York to tell Senator Bruno their personal stories about why marriage is important to them. Brian offered Senator Bruno a pair of his shoes, along with his personal story, asking the Senator to “Walk a Mile a in my Shoes.”