Soulforce Email Update - May 30, 2008

A Spirit of Integrity and a Gospel of Deception: The Starkly Different Theologies of Bishops T.D. Jakes and Harry Jackson, Jr.

Both Bishop T.D. Jakes and Bishop Harry Jackson, Jr. are vibrant African American pastors with large multicultural congregations and enormous influence over portions of America's faith community. Yet their behavior toward the families of the American Family Outing has been very different.

Bishop Jakes and Bishop Jackson received similar letters from Soulforce and our partnering organizations in December, 2007, and March, 2008. Both letters asked the bishops to participate in a time of fellowship -- to break bread and have conversation with same-gender families. (Links to letters below.)

Bishop T.D. Jakes and his staff responded to our letters with honesty and integrity. During our visit, we felt true Christian hospitality and a willingness to engage those with whom they differ with respect and dignity. Bishop Jakes personally telephoned Jeff Lutes to thank him for the positive manner in which Soulforce had approached him for dialogue and he agreed that further conversation was important. The welcome offered to our visiting group was consistent with Bishop Jakes' CNN.com commentary (April 14, 2008) in which he wrote:

"It has always been my goal and purpose to be a bridge builder and to not build walls. It is in that spirit that I would plead with the church to seek common ground rather than to focus on irrelevant and often erroneous information that seeks to divide."

The experience with Bishop Harry Jackson, Jr. was markedly different. Bishop Jackson called Jeff Lutes on May 2, 2008, and agreed to our written request for dinner, conversation, and worship with members of his church. In a charming and friendly tone, he asked that we simply call his staff with the total number of people in our party so they could prepare the appropriate amount of food. Then, on May 21, 2008, three days before the meeting, Jackson's High Impact Leadership Coalition issued a press release falsely claiming that Soulforce was planning a protest and demonstration outside his church and that he had invited us to dinner and a "debate." On Friday night, May 23, twenty-four hours before the dinner, Soulforce received an email from Hope Christian outlining a specific debate-style format in which each group would ask eight questions to the other. Nonetheless, our courageous and beautiful LGBT families proceeded in the spirit of love and nonviolence.

Bishop Jackson concluded the meeting with the following remarks:

"I want to thank you tonight for coming. Again, if you had not invited us originally, if you had not insisted on the dialogue, it never would have happened. And I am thankful for the spirit in which you have said you were going to operate and in which you have operated thus far. Again, we did not know whether you were coming in peace or whether you were coming with a sword. We had no way of knowing that, we really didn't. And so we are very thankful for this opportunity to dialogue with you, and I believe that we have learned quite a bit from this time together."

In contrast to the conciliatory tone of these remarks, Bishop Jackson then granted a Tuesday, May 27 interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, called our families "irrational," and falsely characterized the spirit of our meeting.

When we reach out to mega-church congregations in a spirit of nonviolence, we commit to interacting with authenticity and openness. At times, when our interlocutors are in the grip of misinformation so profound that they do not treat us with respect and integrity, it is tempting to close up, to withdraw, to become defensive -- and yet we persist. Why? Not because we are naïve, but because we believe that, ultimately, no misinformation or slander can obscure the goodness and authenticity of our families and our quest for justice.

Video of Bishop Harry Jackson with our Families and CBN Interview Afterwards

Letter to T.D. Jakes, Letter to Harry Jackson, Second Letter to Hope Christian

Send a Lead Family on an Outing!

The American Family Outing is being led by eighteen families who participated in a weekend of intensive training in February of this year. Each church visit usually has three or four families serving in a leadership role and these "lead families" have prepared themselves to pilot the conversations with church members and staff. This allows couples/families who want to participate, but not as a leader, to also join in the church conversations. Our lead families are being joined by many other couples and families in the local and regional area and together they are creating a positive witness to the love, dedication, and commitment of LGBT people and same-gender couples. In exchange for their 4-month commitment to this project, Soulforce is helping each lead family with airfare to one church (some lead families are participating in other church visits at their own expense):

• $1,400 will cover airfare for a lead family of four (a couple and two of their children)
• $700 will cover airfare for a same-gender couple, straight-ally couple, a father and his son, or a mother and her daughter
• $350 will cover the cost of airfare to one church for Rev. Jay Bakker or Rev. Troy Sanders who are serving as clergy leaders
• $100 will cover the cost of name-tags, hand-outs, and other materials for the required training in nonviolent communication prior to each church visit

Please help give the American Family Outing a strong finish with your donation today at www.soulforce.org/BringOurTruthToMegaChurches.

Gay Couple Builds a Bridge to New Birth Missionary Baptist Church

Steve Parelli is a former Baptist minister. His partner, José Ortiz, also studied for the ministry and spent several months as a Southern Baptist lay minister. Since meeting and falling in love at an "ex-gay" support group in Manhattan, the couple has learned a thing or two about faith, family, rejection, and redemption.

And that's why Parelli and Ortiz are leading a group of gay and lesbian families and clergy who will meet with members of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church this Sunday, June 1.

"At some point, at some place, constructive conversations must begin between the church and the gay son or gay daughter who grew up in that church," explained Parelli, who was spurned by his family and lost his ministry upon coming out.

Atlanta-based minister Troy Sanders, founder of Preach2me.com, concurs:

"I have a personal investment in this visit, because my family is in New Birth. And when I say family, I mean both kinds.

"I have biological family who are still caught in the conflict between their theology and having an openly gay clergy person as kin, and I have lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender brothers and sisters who -- for whatever reason -- have chosen to make New Birth their church home," Sanders explained.

The visit to New Birth Missionary Baptist Church is part of a nationwide fellowship outreach called The American Family Outing, which issued an invitation to Bishop Eddie Long and members of his Lithonia, Georgia, church to share a meal and conversation with LGBT families and clergy.

The American Family Outing is a collaborative project of Soulforce, COLAGE, National Black Justice Coalition, and the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches.

The American Family Outing (AFO) aims to open dialogue between LGBT families and families at six American mega-churches. In previous weeks, AFO families have visited Lakewood Church in Houston, The Potter's House in Dallas, and Hope Christian Church in Beltsville, MD. In these successful visits, American Family Outing participants and church congregants have engaged in thoughtful and inspiring dialogue and fellowship.

Parelli and Ortiz also participated in the visit to Hope Christian Church. For Ortiz, who grew up in an evangelical church, it was a homecoming of sorts:

"In the presence of my fellow AFO brothers and sisters, I was able to affirm myself as a child of God created just as God intended, fully belonging to God AS I AM, fellowshipping with God as his gay child," said Ortiz.

In weeks to come, LGBT families will visit Willow Creek Community Church in Illinois and Saddleback Church in California.

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