Soulforce Email Update - June 20, 2008

Three Soulforce Weddings in 24 Hours -- Or How I Spent my Government Stimulus Check

by Kara Speltz

Soulforce has been carrying out its American Family Outing for the last six weeks, from Mother's Day through Father's Day. By what I felt was divine providence, the last scheduled action was in California at Saddleback Church.

So when the California Supreme Court announced that same-gender weddings would be allowed starting June 17th, a number of Soulforce couples who were already scheduled to be in California started making plans.

I knew that I would want to fly down south to be present, but wasn't sure how I could possibly swing it. Lo and behold, by what also seemed divine providence, my $300 government stimulus check showed up in my mail box.

For most counties, the first day to get your license was the 17th, so I flew down early Tuesday morning to be able to accompany the couples as they got their licenses.

The first wedding was Paige and her partner Katy. They have been together now eight years and have a five year old son, Waylon. The wedding took place at the hotel where Soulforce had set up Soulforce Central in Santa Ana. Jay Bakker had flown from New York for the Saddleback meeting, and made a last minute decision to stay over to preside at Paige and Katy's wedding.

It was a small and intimate wedding -- just our Soulforce family -- and when Jay said those amazing words, "by the power vested in me by the State of California, I now pronounce you spouses for life," a whoop went up from all attending. We celebrated with champagne and cheesecake. Paige, Katy, Waylon and Jay had to catch their flights back home, and the rest of us went on to our next celebration.

Jeff and his partner, Gary had chosen Zuma Beach in Malibu to have their wedding. The setting was perfect, and even more of our Soulforce family were able to attend the evening event. Neil Thomas, pastor of MCC LA presided over the celebration. JD Sebastian, who helped lead the singing at the very first Soulforce gathering in Lynchburg, once again led us in singing, "You've got a friend."

As the waves crashed against the beach, Jeff, Gary, and their three children, Niko, Trei, and Jolé, stood together as the couple repeated their vows. Gary, Niko, and Trei are all deaf, and the signing of the vows made the words even more powerful.

Tears once again flowed as we watched the joy in the eyes of Jeff and Gary as they repeated their vows. As Neil pronounced the words "by the power vested in me by the State of California," (which I never in my wildest imagination thought I would hear at a same gender wedding) the group once again sent up roars of approval and joy.

We celebrated with nonalcoholic champagne and cupcakes. After the ceremony, Jeff, Gary and the three kids romped in the sand near the surf, then we went home to rest for the next day.

Gary and Mel were married at the church where they first met and fell in love, All Saints Episcopal in Pasadena. Approximately two dozen people gathered in the chapel for a 12:10 Mass, presided over by their pastor and friend, Ed Bacon. Staff members, Rev. Zelda Kennedy and Rev. Susan Russell co-presided. Their joy at being part of this historic occasion was evident on their faces.

For me as a Catholic, this Mass touched me even more deeply. Liturgy has such a deep resonance with me and touches places in me that I don't fully comprehend. Fr. Ed's homily was powerful, talking about his long time friendship with Mel and Gary and his own involvement in Soulforce. He referred to this marriage as a "sacrament of justice." And I couldn't agree with him more. As I witnessed this ceremony, my tears flowed again.

Surely I know that our Soulforce family has been strengthened in this long due moment of legal marriage, and look forward to the future marriages already in the planning within our family.

For photos of Paige & Katy go to www.soulforce.org/album/11

For photos of Jeff & Gary go to www.soulforce.org/album/12

For photos of Mel & Gary go to www.soulforce.org/album/13

The couples ask that in lieu of gifts, please make a donation on their behalf to Soulforce at www.soulforce.org/donate

American Family Outing Concludes with Visit to Dr. Rick Warren's Saddleback Church

On Father's Day, The American Family Outing attended Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California.

Before the service began, AFO families mingled with the crowd and partook of a few Father's Day donuts. Soulforce staff member Bill Carpenter struck up a conversation with a greeter and learned that her adult daughter had just come out and needed resources. Members of Saddleback's gospel choir sought us out and explained that the main Saddleback campus offers three different venues with three different styles of worship. Pastor Rick Warren was preaching that day from the Saddleback Corona campus (about 30 miles away), but his message was simulcast to all of the venues.

The next day, eight of our families met with Saddleback ministers and staff for lunch and conversation. Saddleback staff shared their efforts to reduce hurtful language in their materials on gays and lesbians and their passion for HIV/AIDS prevention. However, they also explained that gay and lesbian people are welcome to attend but may not serve the church unless they commit to celibacy.

In an attempt to explain the harm that these kinds of policies can cause, members of The American Family Outing -- which included former Exodus spokesperson Darlene Bogle and born-again Christian transman Kimrey Kotchik -- shared their personal testimonies. Speaking as a straight married man, Bob Bednar asked the Saddleback group to imagine what it would be like to live without hope of intimacy, companionship, or the touch of a partner.

After the meeting, Bob shared this reflection: "Being there showed me in a powerful way exactly how brave my LGBT team members were to go into that kind of atmosphere and insist that church leaders recognize their pain and start to see it as their own pain, too. But the experience also showed me how far we have to go before churches will actually be able to 'own' that pain and take responsibility for the spiritual violence they perpetuate, sometimes without even knowing it. They see the pain, but they don't seem to understand that the pain doesn't come from being LGBT but from trying to reconcile being LGBT with a theology puts conditions on who people can be and who they can be with."

While it is difficult to know if our stories fell on receptive ears, we do know that the families of the American Family Outing brought their spirit of love and integrity to mega-churches where LGBT people are not yet affirmed. They also opened a larger conversation about LGBT people and the church in every community that we visited.

One of the major goals of the AFO was to share the stories of our families, which we did through stories in The Houston Chronicle, The San Antonio Express-News, Semana News, Dallas Morning News, The Washington Times, The American Prospect, Southern Voice, The Chicago Tribune, Air America, The Orange County Register, and many more outlets. Several of these stories continue to generate comments and discussion online.

Last Tuesday, the wedding of AFO lead family Darrin Brindle and Mark Eggleston was featured on NBC's Nightly News with Brian Williams. Mark and Darrin were an integral part of our outreach to Lakewood Church, the first church on our itinerary, and their story is a fitting way to end this six-week journey.

To watch the video click here.

Film Festivals Feature Two Documentaries Covering the Activism of Soulforce Q

The young adult division, Soulforce Q, is only into its third year of empowering youth to become LGBT movement leaders, and already two documentaries about their work are making the film festival rounds this summer! Equality U, the story of the first-ever Equality Ride, and Ask Not, which gives coverage to the Right to Serve campaign, are showing across the country from California to New York and points in between. We hope you can catch a screening of these documentaries featuring the youth's work in nonviolence and their challenging of political and religious oppression with creative energy.

For film synopses, scheduled screenings, and links to trailers go to www.soulforce.org/article/889

Seven Straight Nights for Equal Rights '08

Atticus Circle and Soulforce are pleased to bring back Seven Straight Nights for Equal Rights, a national event that provides straight Americans with opportunities to do justice and motivates new allies to stand up and be counted for equality.

Last year, stories of friendship and political transformation emerged across the country during Seven Straight Nights, a first-of-its-kind event that took place October 7-13th, 2007.

Through Seven Straight Nights, the power of straight ally voices resonated during overnight actions in 38 cities in 28 different states across the country. Soulforce and Atticus Circle partnered with more than 30 national and statewide equality organizations to bring together a true grassroots movement of straight allies, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with their LGBT friends and family, for equality.

We want YOU to be a part of the action this year!

Seven Straight Nights consists of a coordinated campaign of actions led by straight allies. This year, the actions will take place during the week of September 14th through 20th, 2008.

Actions will be led by families, individuals, or groups (like congregations or GSAs), and focus on their personal decision to speak out on behalf of LGBT equality. Depending on the city, Action Leaders will either offer thanks for their state's positive policy record or issue a call to action on pertinent issues such as hate crimes, employment discrimination, and marriage equality.

Please sign up to indicate what you are willing to do to make this year's event a great success. We are looking for Action Leaders to organize events in their city, volunteers to help plan and run the events, and, of course, people willing to give of their time to participate in the rallies and actions.

One of the greatest benefits of Seven Straight Nights is the sense of community it builds -- not only among the participants at each action, but nationwide, as the week progresses and other cities join in the action. If you know someone who you think would be interested in bringing Seven Straight Nights to their community, please forward this email to them.

For more information go to www.sevenstraightnights.org

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