Health Q: WARNING: Possible Gross Out

[keltic63]

I warned you. This could gross you out, but that is not my intention. If you're squeamish, you may not want to read this. If you think you can, and have comment or advice, scroll down. I will be as delicate as possible.














I know a man who is in a straight marriage, but who is "ex-gay." He works out of town all week, and so has a small apt. there, and returns home to his wife on the weekends. Recently, they took a trip out of state, but he didn't enjoy it because he had a sore throat and mouth because of a YEAST INFECTION. I can think of a few ways he might have contracted the infection, but given his history AND his living arrangements, I'm thinking the worst. This information was given to me by a good friend of the wife.

1. it is none of my business, and since the email with the info was not directed to me, I will not intrude into the situation.
2. the friend who told me about it is not sure why she was given this info. was it really just info about how miserable the trip was? or was it a hidden question about how her husband could have gotten this infection?
3. if you're not thinking the worst about him, what is the best we can think of him?

additional, and perhaps vital info: this couple was married, the man had a gay affair, they divorced. He went into counselling and was "cured" of being gay and he remarried his wife. They attend a fundamentalist church, the wife is a big fan of Dobson.

[Daniel]

Madre de Dios!

The name Madre de Dios is a fairly common Spanish-language designation for the Virgin Mary, literally meaning "mother of God". It can refer to:

A old exclamation in Spanish-speaking countries. It has decreased as time has gone on and the American culture seeps into those Spanish speaking countries.

What about informing a public health advocate? This could be done anonymously, no? If the husband is risking his wife's health- and may have done so already- there could be serious legal as well as health consequences.

If the guy's physician knows about his sexual history, I would think he/she would be legally bound to do something about this situation.

[Mia14]

I'm not sure how he got an oral yeast infection, but I have been told that you can get a yeast infection by giving oral sex to a woman with a vaginal yeast infection.

This website (http://health.ivillage.com/dental/0,,6g11,00.html) suggests the same, but I think there are also other ways he could have developed it. If the website is right, then he could have gotten the infection from his wife.

[keltic63]

This website (http://health.ivillage.com/dental/0,,6g11,00.html) suggests the same, but I think there are also other ways he could have developed it. If the website is right, then he could have gotten the infection from his wife.


I worked with the wife for about 7 years; I would assume that there's not a lot of excitement in that bedroom. I'm just sayin'.....

[midtnscott]

Was it a "yeast infection" or Thrush? I'm told they look similar in the mouth/throat.

HIPPA prevents a doctor from releasing a patients diagnosis, even to a spouse if the patient didn't consent, unless it is a public health issue. Public health issues can be anonamously provided and let the health depatment contact his wife.

Regardless, this doesn't sound good.

[keltic63]

Was it a "yeast infection" or Thrush? I'm told they look similar in the mouth/throat.

HIPPA prevents a doctor from releasing a patients diagnosis, even to a spouse if the patient didn't consent, unless it is a public health issue. Public health issues can be anonamously provided and let the health depatment contact his wife.

Regardless, this doesn't sound good.

as I understand it, Thrush is a yeast infection. Thrush is what kids/babies get because everything goes to their mouths. In this case, the wife reported to my friend that her husband had a yeast infection in his mouth. Given their history together, I can't help but wonder if this really is a cry for help from her. It's almost as if she is asking someone to confirm what she already suspects/knows. But that would mean acknowledging that he didn't change.....

[midtnscott]

then it could go either way. over 90% of the population have been exposed to the bacteria/virus that cause thrush so that really isn't an issue.

what becomes an issue is that it normally develops into thrush in immune compromised people, hepatitis, HIV, etc. all of those are communicable so the wife NEEDS to get tested and now.

[Jennifer5]

then it could go either way. over 90% of the population have been exposed to the bacteria/virus that cause thrush so that really isn't an issue.

what becomes an issue is that it normally develops into thrush in immune compromised people, hepatitis, HIV, etc. all of those are communicable so the wife NEEDS to get tested and now.
I definately agree with you on that.


Keltic, why I understand your concern, I have to say, is this something that everyone should know? .....I mean, it's just that, as far as you know, none of us are in the area and none of us know them, but it just feels like that's something that I wouldn't want to be shared... (don't take this the wrong way, I don't know the whole thing)

[keltic63]

I definately agree with you on that.


Keltic, why I understand your concern, I have to say, is this something that everyone should know? .....I mean, it's just that, as far as you know, none of us are in the area and none of us know them, but it just feels like that's something that I wouldn't want to be shared... (don't take this the wrong way, I don't know the whole thing)

I haven't named anyone, and you are correct, no one here could identify them from the info given. It is a delicate matter, and I agree, one that I would not wish to have publicized. That said, the information about the husband was revealed by his wife. I shared here (with a warning about the graphic nature) for 2 reasons:
1. to discuss the possibility that the wife is indirectly asking for help by revealing this information to her friend (and my colleague who came to me for advice). the wife knows her husband has had homosexual affairs before, but believes him to be "cured."
2. to discuss the ramifications of reparative therapy, as well as living in a culture (or subculture such as fundamentalist churches) that would force glbt people to deny their orientation and live their lives behind a mask, searching for their sexual satisfaction in dark places. I truly believe that this husband is trying hard to suppress what he knows is true about himself; and he ends up looking for what he longs for in all the wrong places. I also believe that this infection is a result of living this double life, so now it becomes unhealthy not only mentally, but physically as well.

[Daniel]

I truly believe that this husband is trying hard to suppress what he knows is true about himself; and he ends up looking for what he longs for in all the wrong places. I also believe that this infection is a result of living this double life, so now it becomes unhealthy not only mentally, but physically as well.

Bingo!

The reality is that the consequences of hiding the truth from ourselves and others is a 3-D event and not some political correct matter. It matters, that is, if one takes the preciousness of human life seriously. In that sense, everyone's business is everyone else's business. There is no 'looking the other way'.

If the choice is between offending someone and saving a life, I say offend mightily.

[Jennifer5]

If the choice is between offending someone and saving a life, I say offend mightily.
I definately agree with that!

And Keltic thank you, I just don't want anyone to be hurt by this...:love: