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brandydaniels
10-29-2006, 12:29 AM
Hi everyone. I'm Brandy, and I have recently became very interested in homosexuality and the church. Below is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to someone explaining this newfound interest...

"I guess I will start by saying that I am a recent APU alum myself, and I don’t think I know you, but we have some of the same friends. I am a straight female, but one who has recently become very interested in sexuality and the church and your blogs have been very helpful and encouraging to me.

I was one of those students who came into APU as a overzealous conservative supporting president Bush and thinking abortion and homosexuality were wrong and what the church should be fighting against. . Through many experiences, classes, and relationships that occurred during my years at APU, I began to change a bit… I became a bit more of what the evangelical world would dichotomize as ‘liberal’…

Then, I went to Wheaton for grad school, a school that is much more conservative then APU. This experience has been interesting, to say the very least. Many a time during my few months here, I have felt like a heretic and felt very judged, simply based on my differing Biblical interpretations and priorities. I have even had a few people tell me they were praying for me, and one gentleman who did not agree with my beliefs said that “my moral and theological standpoints demonstrated that I did not have the Holy Spirit living inside of me.”! This experience has been incredibly difficult for me, as my program is a cohort, so there are 20 of us who spend a hell of a lot of time together (all our classes and then some) and being the odd girl out makes me stand out.

Then I got to know a guy in my cohort, Mike, a little more…. To make a long long story shorter, Mike and I clicked because he thought a little out of the box himself. Eventually, Mike told me he was gay. This was an interesting experience for me, a bit shocking, never having had a friend who was openly gay. On one hand, it was affirming, that someone could trust me with information that, in this culture—especially the Christian one, and extra especially the conservative Christian one—is scary to share. I have had pretty “liberal” ideas for awhile, but have never put them in action. On the other hand, it was scary, cause I knew that I had been conditioned to think conservatively and I feared being reactionary one way or the other, falling into making Mike my token Christian gay friend/lab rat or judging him.

Through my new friendship with Mike and through a wide variety of other experiences that would, if written down, make a book, I have felt a calling (I hate this phrase, but its what it feels like and I know no better word) to serve the gay community and women’s community (basically to study and do work in gender, sexuality, and ministry). "

The letter goes on, that would be a really wierd place to end it, but that just gives the readers on this forum who are interested a little tidbit of who I am and where I am right now.

Emproph
10-29-2006, 04:05 AM
I was one of those students who came into APU as a overzealous conservative supporting president Bush and thinking abortion and homosexuality were wrong and what the church should be fighting against. . Through many experiences, classes, and relationships that occurred during my years at APU, I began to change a bit… I became a bit more of what the evangelical world would dichotomize as ‘liberal’…
Hey Brandy,

There's so much I want to comment on in your letter, but this part made me think that you may have an important perspective to offer. We're continually trying to 'figure out' the stereotypical "conservative Christian" mindset, but it also seems to be a constant challenge to do so without judging unnecessarily. We want to understand the truth behind those who say they are Christian yet who'se behavior is anything but loving, but we want to do so without being hateful or angry ourselves.

It's been a topic of discussion, especially lately.

Hope to talk with you later. :)

-Patrick

BruceChris
10-29-2006, 10:27 AM
It is exciting to meet a reasonably open minded young person, from a conservative Christian background. Since you are not gay, you are not coming from a place of feeling bad about yourself, and from a place of immediate fear. This is what we so often find here, from people who have grown up in a self contained conservative Christian world, and then begin to discover that they are gay. This usually happens when they are at an age when they are VERY vulnerable to social pressure, lack the opportunity to learn about the outside world, and can't find anyone to come out to, or act as a support system. They are almost always facing the prospect of having to abandon most or all of their old life and friends, find a new place in the world, find new friends, discover who they really are, and start to make a life for themselves. Often they are taken advantage of sexually, especially by older men if they are boys. It would be nice if everyone in the gay world was as nice as some of the people here.

Oops, gotta run, I'm late for church. Hey, if you click on someone's name,
you can access their public profile, and read ALL of their posts. We do have some wonderful people here. I'll be back,

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

Zerbie
10-29-2006, 12:28 PM
Hi Brandy and welcome! :) Great to have you - a perspective so far not too much represented in our fora. Please stick around.

Regarding Mike, the most important thing you can do for him is value him for all of who he is, let him feel loved, cared about and included. Be supportive and let him know that you care, and that you are there for him, however he sorts out his feelings and whatever meaning he ascribes to them. He obviously trusts you, and based on your concerns about whether you are treating him appropriately, I'm sure that trust is well justified. It's clear that you care about him as a person. You sound like a very good friend.

Pleased to meet you.

Zerbie

BruceChris
10-29-2006, 02:46 PM
http://www.soulforce.org/forums/showthread.php?t=1093

Hello, I'm back. I totally agree with what Zerbie said about Mike. And about what she said about your being someone of a background that we don't see around here nearly often enough. Most people who come here are either gay and self-accepting, young, gay, and very frightened, or conservative enough so that sooner or later communication breaks down.

I've got several more points that I want to make, that I didn't have time to get to earlier. One is that there are at least half a dozen young women who are regulars here, and I know that you will get far more out of talking with them, than by reading all of the stuff that I put up. Zerbie, not surprisingly, is at the top of the list, she's our number one poster.

There are many loving, accepting, non-judgemental Christian people here that I would love to have you meet, and get to know. Going around, and reading all of the posts is one way, but when you find someone that you really like, if you click on their name, you can go back and read all of their previous posts. You can of course communicate privately with anyone here, or start your own thread.

I wish that you could somehow share what we have here with all of your cohort, but I really can't think of a way to do that that would be at all constructive.

Please, come back and chat with us now and then, we would LOVE to have
you. :agree: :weee: :agree:

Some links, of course, you may have seen similar already.

Edit: http://www.soulforce.org/article/homosexuality-bible-gay-christian

Amer. Psychological Assn: http://www.apa.org/topics/orientation.html#choice

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

tdogg
10-29-2006, 03:52 PM
Welcome to the forums! I also come from a conservative (Assemblies of God) background, and like you, never felt that I quite fit in their idea of the perfect pentecostal box. I've never really fit in any box, sort of make my own lines as I go along.

It's great to 'meet' you, and I look forward to getting to know you more, and your points of view. It took me a long while in my life's journey to finally accept and love myself, just the way God made me (a lesbian and a million other things) and now that I have, it's awesome. To know that God still loves me, Jesus still 'drives' me, and I can be myself and love the person I am with is absolutely amazing. It's a concept that is extremely difficult to accept by many conservative religious folk. Perhaps you can help us get into their minds so to speak.

When everyone can accept people for who and what they are, and love them as Jesus taught and demonstrated, the world will definitely be a better one. Anyway, it's great to see you here, hope you stay around and post a bunch!!!

Tdogg

suzer1013
10-29-2006, 05:14 PM
Welcome, Brandy! I hope you will like it here on the Soulforce forums as much as I have.

Blessings....

Susan :)

brandydaniels
10-29-2006, 05:30 PM
Just wanted to say thank you to all of you for your encouraging comments.
Being a straight Christian interested in the gay community is tough-- the other straight Christians (the conservative ones i mostly come into contact with) think I am nuts and sinful, and the gay community either has a problem with me being a christian (understandable) or with the fact that I am straight (also understandable). So thanks for being open to me. I look forward to continuing to dialgoue with all of you...

tdogg... i too grew up assemblies of God.. couldnt say i am affiliated with them any longer though:o

Jennifer5
10-29-2006, 08:47 PM
WELCOME! Glad to have you here!:love:

tdogg
10-29-2006, 10:04 PM
Me either Brandy. My dad and stepmom attend regularly and I was going with them for a while, but just can't take the legalism and intolerance. I did join in a trip to Cuba organized by AG, it was awesome and I will never regret going. But I dont' agree with much of what they choose to believe in.

zimnah
10-30-2006, 01:15 AM
Welcome Brandy!! :love: :love:

Mia14
10-30-2006, 11:33 AM
I'm happy that you're joining us! It's always great to welcome an enthusiastic new ally and I hope we'll be hearing more from you on the forums. We're all pretty easy-going here and I hope you'll come to love it as much as we do!