Hello from PNW

[brownie]

Hi
I stumbled on to this website yesterday and was very moved by its direction and focus.
I am a mom of 3 great children, living with my partner. My divorce to my exhusband was made final in July of 2005. It has been quite a roller coaster.
This site gives me some hope.
Brownie

[Joe Brummer]

Welcome! Glad you are here and hope you stay and hang with us!

Joe

[pnggrad79]

Hey PNW,
How are you? Read your brief summary of your life. Interesting. I divorced my husband after 19 years of marriage and two wonderful children, both girls. I moved in with my partner and 5 years later, we are contemplating starting a family of our own. Kinda scary for me as my oldest is 18 and youngest is 15. But willing to go at it again. How is your ex husband reacting to all this? Your kids? Have you come out to parents, church, friends? Pardon all the questions, but we seem to have much in common. God bless you.:)

[brownie]

Thanks for the welcome

I am doing ok. I have more down days than up. I was married for 12 yrs when I met my g/f. My kids are 6-8(boys) and 11(girl). They are doing pretty good with all the changes. It has been just over a year since I crashed their world as the perfect family. I live about a 3 minute drive from my ex. He is doing better these days. He seems to be getting over his anger a bit and is talking with a nicer tone.
I am out to most people. My family seems supportive on paper. I know they love me but I do not feel welcome in their home any more. I live in the same town as my parents. It is also the same town I grew up in - not much can be kept a secret around here! My church knows yet ignores it all. I have stopped going on the weekends I do not have my kids. Otherwise I go so my kids can be there.
Ask as many questions as you wish. You can pm me if you want.

[Vanessa White]

I have recently come upon this web site also and find it to be so affirming and inspiring, especially from the perspective of being faithful and feeling like a whole person within an organized religion without being judged. My partner of almost ten years and I are also raising a daughter, who is eight, and parenting just adds to the challenges as well as the joys. Welcome and hope to interact with you some in the future. Vanessa

[brownie]

thank you Vanessa

[anniegirl]

I just found this forum via email from Soul Force. The two gals that are traveling across America are two of my best buddies in the whole wide world! And I am so proud for them!
I haven't even made a profile yet but I was also married for 19 years and have 3 teens. Unfortunately, I am not out because of many reasons. Mainly, my ex is of the religious right movement and has threatened to take my kids from me. He's tried it earlier on and I just don't want the court battle now. I have a partner of almost 11 years and we live separately since I have my kids. She has grown kids and isn't out at all. We have a great supportive church and many supportive friends. How do your children handle it all?

[brownie]

Annie,
Sometimes I don't know how they handle it all. Their dad and I have told them over and over again that our divorce has nothing to do with them. We love them and will always be their mom and dad.

It must be difficult to not live out. Although sometimes I wonder if I would feel less turmoil if I was snugg back in my closet. Its a toss up. But I do see a much brighter light at the end of my tunnel. Before, I never saw a light at all.

[anniegirl]

How do your kids feel about you and your partner? What do their friends say? How do you talk with them about it and does your partner love them and have a good relationship with them?
Thanks for answering so many of my questions!:rolleyes:

[brownie]

So far they have accepted my g/f with no plroblems. It has certainly taken some adjustments for her. She never has been married or had kids of her own. We only get to have them every other Th - Monday. I am trying to muster up the courage to gain more custody. (thats a whole other ball of wax!).
I don't know what their friends say. So far it has not become an issue. I am waiting for it. I am fortunate to have god friends with kids the same age as mine who have been very supportive of my decision and have been very upfront with all that has happened.

I am trying to find more ways to talk more with them about all that has happened. I know my 11 yr old is in tune with everything and I think my 8 yr old is as well.

I do believe that my g/f's family has played a part in helping my kids to adjust. They are so welcoming and supporting towards me and my kids.
My fears come from my own family and my ex's. My family does not welcome CIndy into their home and my kids know it. I also fear the conversations that my kids could have overheard between my ex's family and him. BUT....I can not change them (I have to tell myself that all the time), I can only reassure my kids over and over again that I love them and so does their dad and that will NEVER change.

You caught me on a day I need to talk. thank you for the questions

[Shep]

WELCOME !!!:weee:

[anniegirl]

my two teen girls 13 and 16 have been throwing darts at me so to speak, hinting that I am a lesbian and hinting about my partner. It is so hard for me to deny who I am. Especially to them because I want them to see beyond the label of someone and see into their heart and their personhood. My partner does not want them or anyone to know. She is tight in the darkest corner of the closet for fear of rejection and humilitation. She hasn't reconciled her sexuality as she was married for more than 30 years and I have been the only woman in her life. But the pressure inside of me builds to be who I have been created to be, openly and that includes my sexuality.
Thanks for writing back so quickly. I'm hoping to visit this forum often!

[brownie]

You must have a comfy chair in front of the screen as I do?

I am a substitute teacher so some days I have more time than others to be here.

[Zerbie]

Welcome Brownie from the PNW! Welcome to Anniegirl as well.

All the best wishes to both of you and your families. I wish you much strength during these difficult times.

[brownie]

Thank you Zerbie. I appreciate the welcome and well wishes

[pnggrad79]

Girl,
I know exactly where you are and have been. I am 45, my partner is 34 and we have been together for 7 years. I have been divorced for 5 of those 7. My partner and I hid in the closet for 4 years after my divorce, and my two girls ( now 18 and 15) always wanted to know why she was always in my room, sleeping with me. I made up some lame excuse time and again. Then my partner wanted to have a baby-YIKES- and so I decided that if this is the direction we were going in, we needed to be out, committed and in church. So I came out to my family-OUCH- and she came out to several friends and even her boss, but not her family (oddly enough, she has a gay brother) Anyway, when I told my girls, initially they were upset, but now it is no big deal. Their father, my ex, still doesn't know, but he is not stupid. I think he knows, but says nothing. We are in a good church and I am reconciling my faith with my sexuality. It is hard because my family doesn't even speak to me anymore. Keep being real, but I tell you what, I wouldn't go back in the closet to save my life. It is such freedom to not be afraid anymore. I know what my family thinks, and I didn't die and God hasn't killed me, so everything I feared didn't happen. Press on. You will know when the time is right. ;)

[SolInvictus]

Hello brownie,
I, too, am a substitute teacher. Its a great job, but exhausting at times.
Welcome to the forum!



You must have a comfy chair in front of the screen as I do?

I am a substitute teacher so some days I have more time than others to be here.

[krazykat]

Hi Brownie! :) I am a 51 year old woman who has come out to her husband and we are in the process of figuring out how to end our lives together. I have always known I was different but didn't know it was gay until around 10 or 11 yrs of age. I was never in the same mind frame as the other girls I knew. I had alot of issues in my life that happened to me but that didn't make me gay it may have hampered how I looked at men as I grew up but it didn't make me feel the way I do. I lived in the time of fear of losing everything and so I just kept praying god would fix me. I knew I was not what my parents would want me to be and was taught that being gay was an abomination in the eyes of god. I found this sight and it has helped me find others who are like me. I am a christian I can't change how god made me even though I tried my whole life long. My kids do not know yet they are both grown and on there own. My going through change of life empty nest syndrome and losing my parents and a sibling through me into a deep depression. I am now getting help for all of these problems and I am facing the truth and I no longer want to live a lie. I love my husband just not the way a man and wife should. He always suspected there was something wrong and couldn't quite figure it out. I hope that you will be able to come to terms with your ex husband mine has finally come to understand that I can't change who I am and that I didn't ask to be this way. We are both in counseling and trying to come to terms with everything. I am going to school and would like to finish before I set out on my own as my education will be needed to get a job to totally support myself. We shall see what god has in store for us as we are putting it in his hands. I wish you gods blessings as you deal with your life as a lesbian and a mother. I feel for you and your family. Kat :pray: