marytkelly
11-09-2006, 04:31 PM
Good afternoon to all. I just found out about this site today. I live in Boulder, Colorado. The recent events surrounding Ted Haggard reminded me of Mel White's story I read about so many years ago.
I am now in my early 50's, married (second marriage) with four beautiful children. In my 30's my former husband and I were deeply involved in an evangelical church in Boulder (yes there are some). I was a Bible Study Fellowship teacher, involved in Young Life and emmersed in Christian only friendships.
When I was 33, my father was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. 6 months pregnant, I traveled to San Francisco in the hopes of seeing him after a very dangerous surgery. He survived the surgery and was in the ICU.
At the time, I believed that homosexuality was a "sin" and that AIDS, while not a punishment of homosexuality, was a "natural consequence" of it. I am ashamed of myself when I look back on this time.
In the room next to my father, I heard the persistent screams and moans coming from a young man. This went on for what seemed to be hours. I couldn't understand why this man was in so much pain, and why medication didn't seem to be helping.
When the nurse came in to check on my father, I asked what was wrong with the man in the next room. She told me that he was in the end stages of AIDS, and that there wasn't much they could do. I was horrified. Soon thereafter, they must have given him something that finally knocked him out, and I saw him being wheeled out of the room unconscious. This man was young...he looked like my husband.
When I went out to the waiting room, I could see that there was no family waiting for this man, just two friends of his. I was shaken to my core. I kept thinking, "NO ONE DESERVES THIS...NO ONE." How this young man could be in so much pain, dying, with no family but his dear friends.
I went back to Colorado, in the midst of the controversy over Amendment 2 (an unconstitutional anti-gay amendment that passed and thankfully was reversed by the Supreme Court), determined to educate myself about homosexuality. I started reading as many books as I could about the subject. I also went back for my master's in counseling where I was further educated.
At the same time, the church I was attending had recently "fired" an incredibly talented woman who had been leading one of the adult choirs because she was gay. It became a visible controversy in Boulder and the church was being picketed by gay activists. The last day we went to church there, people in my Sunday school class were talking about how they were "right" and the gays were "wrong". With my new eyes, it turned my stomach.
We went home that day and I sat my husband and young children down. I explained to my children what it meant to be gay...that it was natural and normal, and God created each of us in unique and wonderful ways. I told them that the church their father and I were going to didn't believe this and that we were never going back. They were young, and I'm not sure they understood, but they certainly welcomed the relief from getting dressed early on Sunday mornings and enduring the rigid teachings that I'm sure they never understood!
I read Mel White's book Stranger at the Gate which helped further cement my firm decision. I lost 95% of my Christian friends when I told them of my disagreement with the typical evangelical views about homosexuality.
I didn't care. They were trying to keep me in a box as much as they were my fellow gay brothers and sisters.
In Colorado, I just voted for a referendum that would have given gay couples basic civil rights they are entitled to as couples. It didn't pass and my heart is broken. It's almost 20 years since "I saw the light" and yet there is still so much misunderstanding and darkness around this issue.
I feel compassion for Ted Haggard because he has been surrounded by a closed system and seems to continue to be smothered in a belief system that will continue to deny his beautiful essence and core.
I wanted to see what Mel White was up to and found this site. For anyone still reading, thanks for your patience and it's nice to be here,
Mary
P.S. My four children are now young adults ranging in age from 19-24. While they are all heterosexual, they are welcoming and embracing to their gay friends and close cousin who recently came out of the closet and grateful they are able to be who they are and believe what is true for them.
I am now in my early 50's, married (second marriage) with four beautiful children. In my 30's my former husband and I were deeply involved in an evangelical church in Boulder (yes there are some). I was a Bible Study Fellowship teacher, involved in Young Life and emmersed in Christian only friendships.
When I was 33, my father was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. 6 months pregnant, I traveled to San Francisco in the hopes of seeing him after a very dangerous surgery. He survived the surgery and was in the ICU.
At the time, I believed that homosexuality was a "sin" and that AIDS, while not a punishment of homosexuality, was a "natural consequence" of it. I am ashamed of myself when I look back on this time.
In the room next to my father, I heard the persistent screams and moans coming from a young man. This went on for what seemed to be hours. I couldn't understand why this man was in so much pain, and why medication didn't seem to be helping.
When the nurse came in to check on my father, I asked what was wrong with the man in the next room. She told me that he was in the end stages of AIDS, and that there wasn't much they could do. I was horrified. Soon thereafter, they must have given him something that finally knocked him out, and I saw him being wheeled out of the room unconscious. This man was young...he looked like my husband.
When I went out to the waiting room, I could see that there was no family waiting for this man, just two friends of his. I was shaken to my core. I kept thinking, "NO ONE DESERVES THIS...NO ONE." How this young man could be in so much pain, dying, with no family but his dear friends.
I went back to Colorado, in the midst of the controversy over Amendment 2 (an unconstitutional anti-gay amendment that passed and thankfully was reversed by the Supreme Court), determined to educate myself about homosexuality. I started reading as many books as I could about the subject. I also went back for my master's in counseling where I was further educated.
At the same time, the church I was attending had recently "fired" an incredibly talented woman who had been leading one of the adult choirs because she was gay. It became a visible controversy in Boulder and the church was being picketed by gay activists. The last day we went to church there, people in my Sunday school class were talking about how they were "right" and the gays were "wrong". With my new eyes, it turned my stomach.
We went home that day and I sat my husband and young children down. I explained to my children what it meant to be gay...that it was natural and normal, and God created each of us in unique and wonderful ways. I told them that the church their father and I were going to didn't believe this and that we were never going back. They were young, and I'm not sure they understood, but they certainly welcomed the relief from getting dressed early on Sunday mornings and enduring the rigid teachings that I'm sure they never understood!
I read Mel White's book Stranger at the Gate which helped further cement my firm decision. I lost 95% of my Christian friends when I told them of my disagreement with the typical evangelical views about homosexuality.
I didn't care. They were trying to keep me in a box as much as they were my fellow gay brothers and sisters.
In Colorado, I just voted for a referendum that would have given gay couples basic civil rights they are entitled to as couples. It didn't pass and my heart is broken. It's almost 20 years since "I saw the light" and yet there is still so much misunderstanding and darkness around this issue.
I feel compassion for Ted Haggard because he has been surrounded by a closed system and seems to continue to be smothered in a belief system that will continue to deny his beautiful essence and core.
I wanted to see what Mel White was up to and found this site. For anyone still reading, thanks for your patience and it's nice to be here,
Mary
P.S. My four children are now young adults ranging in age from 19-24. While they are all heterosexual, they are welcoming and embracing to their gay friends and close cousin who recently came out of the closet and grateful they are able to be who they are and believe what is true for them.