scott snedeker
11-14-2006, 10:45 PM
I see Demonizing as an essential powerful tool.
(Oh boy! gonna get it now!):lol:
But seriously I used it as a step to redfine myself.
In my emotional-spiritual journey I started with the belief imposed on me by homophobes that I was a worthless deviant that had no right to exist let alone access to joy or love---sound familiar?
To move up the emotional vibrational scale from fear and no self esteem (and depression) I had to redefine who was the "bad" one. At first I could not get past fear. Then after I started building self esteem with achievement I started to get angry at the past and continuing spiritual and emotional abuse imposed on me! But my sense of Identity was so undeveloped (like a child's) that I had to portray homophobes (even family members) as the hateful evil bastards they were----lumped in with child rapists! This helped my undeveloped sense of Identity swing the pendulum giving me a sense of moral indignation and justification. Black and white becomes white and black. (Again like a child learning right from wrong)
Now to stay at that stage would truly be hell on Earth; but for a while it was necessary for me until I could progress to the ecstasy of ........RAGE! which was possible now that I had swung the pendulum away from self loathing to seething righteousness.
One tires of rage pretty quickly but having been in it I developed more of a sense of entitlement to defend my personal boundaries. The burning out of rage lead to acceptance of what I don't like but with a new more intact identity, or in other words---- the exquisit relief of.....Frustration. Then being bored with frustration (which doesn't take long) I started to look for things to appreciate. With practice comes skill and finding things to appreciate becomes second nature (a little glib, took me years).
This leads to hope which leads to believing the world is better and will continue to improve. With seeing my beliefs come true comes knowing! And with Knowing the world is becoming a kinder place comes Joy. (I think I'm still at the believing stage as of yet, But I find love and Joy every day)
The point I'm trying to make is that maybe Gay Folks who are currently demonizing homophobes should be validated that they are precisely at the stage where they should be. Maybe introduction of the concept of gray is seen as threatening to their developing Identity? Perhaps they seek a nonjudgemental cybersanctuary in soulforce to reset their black and white to white and black.
eg. "For you right now that view seems to be empowering....hold on to it for now as long as you think you will need it. I've been where you are and felt the same way about them."
When someone defended my "demons" during the early part of my spiritual journey it felt like a betrayal----- caused fights with parents at the dinner table. Sounds like a teenager doesn't it? Which is probably emotionally more normal Than I ever was before--- just 28 years delayed. Now I can focus on love and appreciation for my folks, but not before going through the anger and rage and frustration of a teenager.
I feel that fear of misusing a powerful tool like demonizing should not prohibit its use. Recognizing its power can be misused (as it has against us)
should help to minimize its abuse.
Scotty:cowboy:
(Oh boy! gonna get it now!):lol:
But seriously I used it as a step to redfine myself.
In my emotional-spiritual journey I started with the belief imposed on me by homophobes that I was a worthless deviant that had no right to exist let alone access to joy or love---sound familiar?
To move up the emotional vibrational scale from fear and no self esteem (and depression) I had to redefine who was the "bad" one. At first I could not get past fear. Then after I started building self esteem with achievement I started to get angry at the past and continuing spiritual and emotional abuse imposed on me! But my sense of Identity was so undeveloped (like a child's) that I had to portray homophobes (even family members) as the hateful evil bastards they were----lumped in with child rapists! This helped my undeveloped sense of Identity swing the pendulum giving me a sense of moral indignation and justification. Black and white becomes white and black. (Again like a child learning right from wrong)
Now to stay at that stage would truly be hell on Earth; but for a while it was necessary for me until I could progress to the ecstasy of ........RAGE! which was possible now that I had swung the pendulum away from self loathing to seething righteousness.
One tires of rage pretty quickly but having been in it I developed more of a sense of entitlement to defend my personal boundaries. The burning out of rage lead to acceptance of what I don't like but with a new more intact identity, or in other words---- the exquisit relief of.....Frustration. Then being bored with frustration (which doesn't take long) I started to look for things to appreciate. With practice comes skill and finding things to appreciate becomes second nature (a little glib, took me years).
This leads to hope which leads to believing the world is better and will continue to improve. With seeing my beliefs come true comes knowing! And with Knowing the world is becoming a kinder place comes Joy. (I think I'm still at the believing stage as of yet, But I find love and Joy every day)
The point I'm trying to make is that maybe Gay Folks who are currently demonizing homophobes should be validated that they are precisely at the stage where they should be. Maybe introduction of the concept of gray is seen as threatening to their developing Identity? Perhaps they seek a nonjudgemental cybersanctuary in soulforce to reset their black and white to white and black.
eg. "For you right now that view seems to be empowering....hold on to it for now as long as you think you will need it. I've been where you are and felt the same way about them."
When someone defended my "demons" during the early part of my spiritual journey it felt like a betrayal----- caused fights with parents at the dinner table. Sounds like a teenager doesn't it? Which is probably emotionally more normal Than I ever was before--- just 28 years delayed. Now I can focus on love and appreciation for my folks, but not before going through the anger and rage and frustration of a teenager.
I feel that fear of misusing a powerful tool like demonizing should not prohibit its use. Recognizing its power can be misused (as it has against us)
should help to minimize its abuse.
Scotty:cowboy: