Hi

[secret]

Hello. I came here because I need some help. I've been reading this site for a while and I thought maybe you could help me to sort out my head.

[Vanessa White]

First of all, welcome to soulforce and to the forums. We are pretty close knit and supportive here, so give us some hint as to what is troubling you. There are many here who would try to help. Peace within, Vanessa :love:

[secret]

I am ashamed of myself. I punish myself. I stick knives in my hands.

[BruceChris]

And if that word "Secret" is an indication of what you feel you need, right now, rest assured that you do not have to tell us anything that you don't want to. Not gender, age, location, orientation or anything.

Of course, if you have the courage to ask for help, you must begin by telling us a little bit about what you think you need help with; about what is bothering you.

God Loves you, you do not have to punish yourself, and I am sure that many of us have done things much more shameful than you have. That's part of what forgiveness is all about.
Some posts that might cheer you up:

http://www.soulforce.org/forums/showthread.php?t=1074

http://www.soulforce.org/forums/showthread.php?t=1093

You might read frankandcathy's thread all about "How can you be both a practicing gay, and a Christian?" It is a VERY long thread, and she (Cathy) is a conservative, Evangelical Christian, but she is very loving and respectful, and she is treated with respect, even though it does take a long time for everyone to really understand each other. You will meet some wonderful people there. Or in almost ANY of out threads. (You coud be here, reading our threads for MONTHS.....:lol: :confused: :lol: ), and it would probably make you feel better about yourself!

http://www.soulforce.org/forums/showthread.php?t=1545

But always remember, God loves you, we love you, and God still loves you.

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

[Vanessa White]

Keep as secretive as you like. PLEASE, whatever it is, don't feel that you have to punish yourself for who you are. You are worthy of love, compassion, embracing- hold onto that. Chat with us here as often as you can, reach out, believe that you are special and loved and of great worth. I have to sign off for now, but there are many others here that can hold you up and support you with what you need. I am so grateful that you reached out for help. That is the first step to working toward some healing for you. Peace and love to you, Vanessa :love: :love: :love: :love: :love:

[Zerbie]

Dear Secret,

Thank you for reaching out:) - you are brave to do so. You found friends here. If you have any questions or concerns you can ask them and we'll do our best. ;)

You are not the only person ever to hurt yourself physically - have you done some research and looked for help that is specific to your situation? Some people cut themselves because it seems easier to deal with physical pain than with emotional pain. :'( But there are ways to deal with feelings that don't involve hurting your body and those ways can be learned.

I strongly recommend seeking a qualified, sensitive therapist. There ARE people out there who know how to help someone in your situation, who are qualified to teach alternative coping skills that don't involve cutting or hurting. The trick is, sometimes those people can be hard to find. You have to search very carefully to find a qualified professional who understands these things and will treat you with the respect that you deserve. If anyone treats you badly, RUN.

If you are gay or lesbian or questioning your sexuality then you also need to scout out carefully for a therapist who is understanding and sensitive to those issues as well, and who will respect those feelings, in addition to someone experienced with the other stuff. If a therapist says or implies that you should be ashamed of your sexual orientation or ashamed of questioning your sexuality, that therapist is hurting you, RUN. Find someone who treats you with respect and who can teach you other ways to cope with painful emotions.

I am BY NO MEANS qualified as therapist or anything like that, but what if the next time you felt ashamed, instead of cutting yourself, you did something nice for yourself to make yourself feel better instead? Is there something you might enjoy doing? A friend you can call? Make a list of things that soothe and comfort you - maybe beautiful music, a warm bath, a favorite book or movie - anything that is pleasant, calming, makes you feel better. Then next time you feel like punishing yourself do one of those things instead, and tell yourself you deserve to feel better. Because you do. :love:

You're more than welcome to come back and share more of your thoughts/feelings, if you want to. Please let us know if we can help in any other way. You are more than welcome here.

[secret]

Thank you all.