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View Full Version : One of my best friends has Aids. I'm thinking of killing him.


Aminal
12-01-2006, 04:38 PM
He first came into my life almost a year ago. I took him off the street and gave him a place to live. Although, after he had been in the house about a week I almost threw him back in the street. (Thankfully, I did not.) He physically hurt me, almost taking out one of my eyes. I forgave him though and let him stay. I knew it was not totally his fault. He had become too wild, being a product of the street. Mostly, I knew he was just scared.

Not too long after, I took him to get his blood checked. It was determined he had Aids. A few months later, I took him to get retested. The second test confirmed the first.

Through the months, I have come to love him. He has become very loving and affectionate, loving me, also. Now, he rarely misses a chance to be next to me, and to show me that he cares for me, too.

How then, can I consider killing him?

He just does not know better. He does not realize that he can harm others, by possibly transmitting his virus, and 'issuing' a probable and unwarranted death sentence.

Since he has been with me, he has settled down a lot. But, he is still reckless, and still has a 'natural' mean streak in him. It's honestly all he came to know from being in the street. Also, he will not walk away from a fight. He does not tend to start them, but he surely will not walk away from one. And he can be physically vicious.

If you have read this much, and before you read any more, I want to ask you to forgive me. I don't mean to be over dramatic. It's just that I think all living things on earth deserve a chance at life. That is why I am here. I don't want to kill him. But, I have answered my own question, and you can 'see' why I would consider doing just that.

Since you have been kind enough to read, I will introduce him to you. - His name is Word. I named him that because he talks English, which is not his 'native' tongue. (However, since he was tested, he does not talk so much anymore. I believe he can sense my great hurt for him, and it is affecting him. Because before, I could not get him to be quite.) He is a beautiful American Shorthair, Blue Tabby, with big beautiful green eyes. - Yes, a cat. (Hence, my asking you to forgive me.) - Word the talking cat.

Only once in the past have I been close to a person that Aids has affected. It was my ex-roommate. Her brother died of Aids. I only met him a couple of times. I did not really know any of her family very well. I went to the funeral. I cried a little. I have always been the type to hold in emotions from public display. I cried a great deal later, though. I felt so very bad for him, as well as her and the family. I still feel the hurt and it has been a few years now.

I don't want to cry over Word. I want him to live. He is a creature of this earth, just like you and me. He deserves to live. He does not deserve to be 'put to sleep' (which is just an unkind version/derivative of kill/ed) just because he has Aids. But, if I do not find him a home soon, I will have to kill him, even though it will break my heart. I just cannot allow him to be in my house anymore. You see I have other animals that I have rescued. Their lives are in danger every day Word is here, and he has already been here too long. I am very sorry to have to say something like that, but it is true. He injured the Alpha male of the house a few months ago. So far, after one blood test, that cat has no virus. I have to retest him. But, I worry constantly about him, and the others. Fortunately, he cannot affect any animal but a cat, but even that is too much.

Anyone that is a lover of life can understand my pain, even though 'it is just a cat'. Of people that love life, most tend to love animals, too. Well, I need a lover of life to 'step forward'. Word needs a loving and caring home!

Let me tell you a little more about Word. - He brings a great deal of love to my live. But, you may think I have painted two different pictures of Word. Your thinking would be somewhat correct. However, know that he is only the way nature has taught him to be. While he has become a very loving and affectionate animal, him being in the street his whole life makes him territorial and defensive. Again, though, he has settled down even more than 'I' thought he would. I actually thought he would never be able to be adopted by anyone. It really amazes me how far he has come. And, he can only 'get better' staying in a good home.

-
The immediate above brings me to places like, where I live, the SPCA, Society For The Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, which takes in animals and tries to find them a home. In no way will I bad-mouth the SPCA, they are a great organization, but if I take Word there he will 'automatically' be killed because of his disease. And I can find no place anywhere that will take him to try and find him a home.
-

Word is currently isolated in my master bedroom. Unfortunately, most the time I spend with him is when I am sleeping. That's not quality time. Also unfortunately, the master bedroom is where I would spend most of the time with the other cats, playing with them and exercising them, and that is where they use to sleep. (I have 4. All rescue cats. I still rescue other animals, but these four I have kept as my own through the years.) Consequently, because of time with work etc, we are all kind of isolated form each other. This, in combination with the animals not getting along, has taken a toll on all. Myself, and my animals, are stressed out. (No, this is not the only stress factor in my life. But even if it was, it would be enough, constantly worrying about the other rescue animals being infected with a deadly disease.)

More about Word.
-- He also has leukemia. (Yuk!) Specifically, he has FIV, Feline Immunodeficiency Virus, and FeLV, Feline Leukemia Virus. ('You' might want to do a little research on both.)
-- Word would have to be an INDOOR cat. He can go outdoors, but only on a leash, and not to be 'walked'. Meaning, he cannot be permitted to 'use the restroom' outdoors. Hence, indoors with a litter box. Leashed with owner outdoors on an empty stomach. I have been training him to take a leash. He has accepted a leash and is doing very well. (Staying completely indoors would be better, though, as long as he is getting exercised. But even though he had a hard life in the street, he so loves the out doors.)
-- Diet: I currently have him on what I consider to be a MINIMUM diet for nutrition and health. It would be good for him to stay on that diet. It is nothing special. He eats a medium priced food, Science Diet, mostly consisting of the canned chicken. The entrée is better, because he tends not to chew his food. (He still does not realize that he does not have to worry about his next meal, or another animal stealing it, and gobbles it up like it is his last meal.) I give him some dry indoor cat Science Diet, but it has to be soaked in an appropriate amount of water till it is soft, because of the previous mentioned, or he will not digest it properly. (NOTE: I would feed him (wet) canned food only, I just cannot afford it. But because of his diseases, I WILL NOT feed him a 'cheaper' food.) (So I have a few less bologna sandwiches. Big deal.) (His diet should really be ‘better’, though.)
-- He has to be the ONLY CAT in the household. While I said Word will fight, he does not really start them. The other cats are afraid of him, growl, and that excites Word and makes him want to go after them. He actually tries to be their friend, or, for as long as he can, ignores their (scared) hostility. I honestly believe he could become a good companion to a dog.
-- Word can only infect another cat, but he can infect male or female. He cannot infect humans. His diseases are not Zootonic.
-- Word, at this time, can be considered, otherwise, healthy, except for his teeth. His teeth need a cleaning by a Veterinarian, and he has at least two broken teeth that need to be removed or fixed. (Fixed, preferably.) - He has a slight respiratory problem, but it has actually improved. (Respiratory problems in animals are not uncommon even in otherwise completely healthy animals.)
-- He does not tear up, or mess up stuff. He uses his litter box and his scratch post.
-- If you adopt Word, be prepared to have a lot of fun. He loves to play (since he has learned how). And be prepared for a lot of affection. However, on both counts, he will not annoy. If you want to be left alone, he will leave you alone. But, he does need quality time, of course.

OK. All considered, he is actually in good shape, mentally and physically. Of course, in regards to his diseases, he could live a (relatively) normal life, or, as you can guess, could succumb to an ailment in a year. I do believe, though, that he has some good years in front of him... if I can find him a home... soon!

I am going to stop here (for now). I sincerely want to thank you for reading this long post. If you think you can help Word by giving him a home, please, respond. I bet he will tell you,

"I love you".

Check Word out. :) (http://img79.imageshack.us/img79/232/word001320x240tj8.jpg)

scott snedeker
12-01-2006, 06:36 PM
At the beginning I thought you were describing a homeless person it was so human the way you made him appear! It reminded me of a human stray I picked up 15 years ago. He was gay homeless and a crack addict. I tried to heal him with love but it didn't work. But I actually thought you were describing a homeless person as a pet of yours and really got me feeling wierd. So I have to ask Did you ever take in a human stray?

scotty:cowboy:

Aminal
12-01-2006, 07:06 PM
At the beginning I thought you were describing a homeless person it was so human the way you made him appear! It reminded me of a human stray I picked up 15 years ago. He was gay homeless and a crack addict. I tried to heal him with love but it didn't work. But I actually thought you were describing a homeless person as a pet of yours and really got me feeling wierd. So I have to ask Did you ever take in a human stray?

scotty:cowboy:

Actually, yes. In my life I have helped, and tried to help, numerous people, even at times risking my own life.

As for people as you have described, you discovered for yourself, though, some may not 'transform'. Saving people is not so easy a task. But, for now anyway, I will not get into that further. I answered your question. Hopefully, that will suffice.

As for the, "so human", comment, IMO, a person who has an honestly high regard for (human) life will respect all life. So, that will naturally carry over to animals, and the earth it self as a whole.

It is always good to hear about a person that has tried to help another, human or otherwise. I, personally, am thankful for people like you. Should you, in your entire life, have only tried to help that one person, that is more than what many will do even if they live to be 1000 years old.

Aminal
12-03-2006, 10:22 AM
Word is scheduled to die, tomorrow, December 4, 2006, sometime in the afternoon.

If anyone knows of another forum such as this one, preferably with a high traffic rate, that I could post on tonight, please, provide the information, so that I may do that. That will be his last chance at life.

:'(

:pray:

EDIT:
Clarification:
"If anyone knows of another forum such as this one, ..."

Meaning, I posted here because it seemed there were genuinely caring people in this forum. I did not want to go to a forum where people were mostly just asking for some form of sex. I guess there is just not enough people visiting to find a home for Word.

Honestly, though, I am somewhat dismayed that not a single person has offered even a kind 'word' for Word.

BTW, Scotty, I don't want to believe that the only reason you posted was to challenge me in regards to if I have helped people, but it sure seems as if that is what you did. (I still think it great that you tried to help another person. But that 'thought' of an underlying challenge remains. Whatever the case, this thread is not about me, but about saving Word!)

Maybe the title of my post threw people. That would be understandable. I apologize if somehow I offended. But I wanted to get my point across immediately. The point being, that 'someone' may die JUST because he has Aids.

And Word IS one of my best friends. He is just like family. So that "someone" is perfectly relevant. But he is an animal that lacks the understanding of what he can do to others.

Know this though, he is also one of the most loving, intelligent animals I have ever been granted the grace to help. I am blessed to have been a small part of his life, and I will never forget him.

God bless you Word!

secret
12-04-2006, 03:27 AM
I am sorry about Word, but I don't see what else you can do if you want to protect your other cats. :(

BruceChris
12-04-2006, 08:56 AM
Welcome to the forums.

P&L, BC

suzer1013
12-04-2006, 09:12 AM
Hi Aminal. I'm not sure where you live, but one of the best places I know that helps find homes and care for cats like Word (and other "special placement" type of animals) is Best Friends Animal Society. They are located in Utah, but take animals from around the world.

Please go to their website before you make another decision about Word -- Best Friends might be able to help you, and save Word, too!

Their website is: http://www.bestfriends.org/

Depending on where you live, you may also be able to find a shelter that can place him in a home that already has FiV and FeLV positive cats, or a home where he will be the only cat.

Susan

Aminal
12-04-2006, 01:25 PM
secret, thank you very much for your kind word. - Yes, protecting my 'regular' cats and any other stay/s coming into the house is my main priority.

BruceChris, you started off addressing secret (in your title), but if the "Welcome" was for me, thank you.

suzer1013, thank you for sharing. I truly appreciate it.

I actually was suppose to take 3 cats today. One is already at the vet. Fortunately, someone else took that cat for me. (He is not my cat.) He is suppose to die today, but so far it has not been done. Another is suffering from diabetes. He has, for the most part, been unresponsive to treatment. Now he is in pretty bad shape. I was suppose to take those two cats and Word.

I talked to a family member last night, saying how, unlike the other two cats, Word, in spite of his diseases, is a picture of health. What prompted me to post his death sentence was, he got by me and out of the room that night. My Alpha male was just outside the door. The fight was short, I broke it up quickly, but it was vicious. I don't even know what cat went after which first, I think it was Word, but I was just so upset I said, "OK. That's it!". Both Word's diseases can be spread from a fight like that, and that was the second one between those two. The first time the Alpha male, Sun Wu, (he is a long hair Siamese), suffered a serious injury. So, you can see why I could all of sudden make that decision. Honestly, though, Word should have already been killed long ago. ...

I say that because I had exhausted all local resources long ago. That is why I finally went on a forum. I would still like to know about other forums like this with nice people on it.

OK. I will give Word a reprieve. Anyone could guess that would not be hard for me to do. I don't want to kill him.

Susan, I will contact Best Friends. Although, I don't know if Word can be trusted around other cats even if they are not scared of him or hostile to wards him. I believe he still thinks he has to fight for food and territory. And I can barely stand him being locked up in a room by himself. I surely don't want to think about him being caged. But maybe they have a list of people willing to take cats like Word.

Alright. I am going to put Word on the leash and take him outside. It's cold here in Houston, but pretty today.

Yeah, I am in Houston, TX. I originally did not post a location because I am willing to get Word to a good home anywhere in the country, no matter what, even if I have to hitch-hike with him, as long as I was assured that he was going to a quality home.

If anyone else has any other resources, please, share.

Good day all.