I am hurt

[tpdncr4christ]

I have a myspace page displaying the following imgae:

http://c.myspace.com/Groups/00006/41/98/6478914_l.jpg

Tonight at about ten I had the following conversation with "The Card Holder" (CH). For the sake of decency some words have been edited.

CH: Why did you deface the statue of Liberty?

Me: Excuse me? Would you care to explain yourself?

CH: You have a picture of the Statue of Liberty with a rainbow thing on it. So I am asking you why have you defaced it? That is not very American

Me: deface... that means to disfigure. To me the statue isn't disfigured or marred in anyway. I think it's beautiful.

CH: You defaced it. You painted it. Just because you spray paint a brick wall and make it colorful doesn't mean you didn't commit an illegal act. You painted over a national symbol.

Me: first of all, its digital. It’s not real. Its not paint over stone, its much less permanent pixels. Second. It is the statue of liberty. I find taking pride in oneself is liberating, don't you?

CH: Not when you f*** with a national symbol. What do you think all the French and Irish that sat in the hull of a ship to come here would say if they saw what you did to the first sign of their freedom? Don’t deface sh**. That symbol allows you to be freely gay. So you go and deface it showing you have no respect for it. No respect for your own freedom.

Me: in the supreme court case Bowers vs. Hardwick in 1986 the court ruled that any sexual relations between two men would be considered a criminal act. That means it is illegal. In the case of the Boy Scouts of America vs. Dale the court ruled to uphold the banishment of James Dale from the BS on the sole reason of his orientation. That statue is meant to represent freedom. In 28 states I cannot get married. In 15 states I can't adopt a child. Tell me, how is this freedom? How on earth can you think that this is freedom? You have rights you don't even know. I know my rights, I know my freedoms. Don’t you dare say I have no respect for my freedom.

CH: Well you can't get married and I can't put a certain leaf to my lips, light it up, and smoke it. At least God doesn't condemn my actions

Me: is your argument so weak that you have to condemn me for love? Who are you to say what God condemns and doesn't condemn. How do you know what the Lord knows? Explain that to me. How are you so much a greater man than me that you can damn me to an eternity in hell, when you yourself are a sinner? I thought the issue was about defacing the Statue of Liberty. I believe, and correct me if I'm wrong, that this nation was founded with a separation of Church and State. Like it or not, you cannot legally force your religious beliefs onto me or any other citizen of this country. And if you really want to, go smoke weed. I won't stop you

CH: Leviticus 18:22 "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." With your logic I can sin and not go to Hell. Because God loves me and will not contradict himself.

Me: Luke 6:37 "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven" By your logic you are going to hell. By your logic the world is going to hell and none shall be saved. And I was under the impression God loved everyone who asked for it.

I received no further response from him.

Of course, my friends reacted angrily. After words the entire event hurled out of control. Everyone I know reacted firecley towards CH, sending him messages proclaiming his ignorance and stupidity. The thing that hurt me the most was they were acting the same way he was. One of my friends said he was treating CH like the dirt he was. I responded by saying I was treating CH like I wanted to be treated.

I want to know, what is the best way to react in such a situation? I felt hatred towards this person that I hardly knew... Surely that didn't make God happy. Did I do the right thing? And if I did, was do I feel so hurt and so crappy? Please tell me what you think.

[Daniel]

Austin- I like the art btw- nicely done. Did you construct the image youself? The lady in question isn't that far from me. Last I looked she was still holding up that torch for everyone.

Of course, my friends reacted angrily. After words the entire event hurled out of control. Everyone I know reacted firecley towards CH, sending him messages proclaiming his ignorance and stupidity. The thing that hurt me the most was they were acting the same way he was. One of my friends said he was treating CH like the dirt he was. I responded by saying I was treating CH like I wanted to be treated.

It sounds like you have great friends: they came to your defense. That's what friends do, right? It also sounds like you seized the opportunity to help those same friends learn something about nonviolence. Way to go!

Not only did you do the right thing, you went the distance.

Why did you feel crappy? Because someone pooped on you my friend-that never feels good. And it's no good saying the poop isn't poop. One just gets better at cleaning it up when it hits the fan.

I'm sure I don't need to mention that the only control we have is self-control. And you showed that. Anger? Well. Anger is anger. I've always questioned why there is the tendency to make it a sin. We have to start where we are, and sometimes 'where we are' is angry. I think the key here is to have as much compassion for your own capacity for anger as for the ignorant actions of the 'other guy.' It goes both ways. :love: And from what you relate, it sounds like you have a handle on this too.

How about giving credit where credit is due? Look in the mirror and you will see where.

[BruceChris]

I am terrible with names. I take it that CH is not a moderator, so s/he cannot remove or edit your posting. It sounds to me like you have handled this in a substantially non-violent and Christian manner. If CH complains to the moderator, that might be his/her next step, but there is a good chance that the moderator wil be a lot more *moderate* person. (Sorry, I couldn't help myself)

Expressing and explaining love and forgiveness to your online friends would seem to be the Christian thing to do next, but you indicate that you have started to do that.

One thing that I have learned is that not taking offence in the first place, or "instant forgiveness" is a very Christian thing for a person to do, and it takes most of us close to a lifetime to achieve that. Many of us never do. Every one of us has our sore points, buttons, or "mine fields" that we grew up with, usually because of just such provocation. For you to have responded the way that you did, the first time shows that you are already a fair way down that road. And feeling hurt, crappy, and/or angry is the price we pay for the stressors that become growth experiences.

You may even feel some gratitude to CH and God, for giving you this chance to *turn the other cheek*, but you will not likely feel it soon. It looks like Daniel has said pretty mich the same things.

(When another driver cuts me off in traffic, I always make sure to roll up the windows, before cussing a blue streak; I ain't perfect either.)

I wish you God's Love, and God's Peace, Bruce Chris

[Zerbie]

Tapdancer! You handled that incedibly well! Wow - I'm impressed!

Now, there are so many "meanies" trolling around the internet -:lol:- in a way ya hafta just wave 'em off like flicking away mosquitos. I understand feeling hurt and I still go there over online communications sometimes (just last week in fact) but there is SO MUCH nastiness floating around the web looking for a target, take it for what it's worth, which is nothing. This was a complete stranger. Wave him off.

I wouldn't attempt to draw this person into dialogue - I would take him for a passing troll and say "good riddance" when he does not come back. Save the dialogue for people with whom you have, or want to have, an existing connection.

The way you handled the sitch was exactly right. You handled it with much more grace than your (wonderfully protective!) friends. I'm glad they come to your defense, but there are more effective ways than they found of doing that. Forgive yourself the hateful feelings. What matters is that you didn't act with hate. You were a shining example. Be pleased with what you said.

[tpdncr4christ]

thanks you guys. it was a rough night...