Greetings from NYC

[thattuckerboy]

Hello...my name is Scott.

Ten years in New York...hard to believe that a decade is gone. I'm a few months into the beginning of my second decade, and I'm still growing, thank God. Strangely, I thought I knew myself, but lately, I've realized I'm just beginning to discover who I am.

I recently broke up wity my partner of one year. It was one of the most difficult decisions of my life, and I'm feeling it to the core of my being. The repairs are beginning...I've been struggling with my faith and my sexuality for years. I went throught the ex-gay program, Love in Action, and now I'm trying to repair all the damage that has been done. I just finished Stranger at the Gate, and I'm wishing I had read that book 10 years ago...better late than never. I am beginning to believe I can have a healthy wonderful relationship with God and another man.

I've come here to develop friendships, so I can share my story and hear other stories that will encourage me on my journey to being whole.

On the plus side, I've started an amazing job with BC/EFA which allows me to be a part of an amazing community.

I'm thankful for my friends who stand by me, through the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I pray that I continue to evolve and accept the love that is given to me, and return it, as well.

Cheers,

Scott

[Daniel]

I am beginning to believe I can have a healthy wonderful relationship with God and another man.

I've come here to develop friendships, so I can share my story and hear other stories that will encourage me on my journey to being whole.


Hi Scott,

Yes- you can have a relationship with a wonderful man- and your own spiritual life too- my husband and I have been together 15 years and counting. We're Upper West Sider's- I've lived in NYC 18 years- work in the arts- and am nearing my 5th decade. He has lived here for 32 (he was very young when he emigrated from the West Coast) :D NYC is a great town. Wouldn't want to live anywhere else...well....I'd entertain the idea of Paris or London if forced. :rolleyes:

Wow. You went through the ex-gay thing. That's a story we'd all like to hear more about here. And it sounds like you are coming into your own. That's great!

Peace to you.

[Zerbie]

Welcome!

Fun to have another singer on here - there's lotsa us.
:)

Come back and chat some more.

[thattuckerboy]

Daniel,

I'm an Upper West Sider, as well. I've been living up there for 10 years. I love the neighborhood and all of the changes over the past years.

Thanks for the encouraging e-mail.

Do you and your partner have a church home? I've visited a couple of churches, but one of my new year's resolutions is to find a church home.

Peace,

Scott

[thattuckerboy]

Thanks for the welcome, Zerbie.

I look forward to meeting new people through Soul Force.

Cheers,

Scott

[Vanessa White]

So glad that you found us in your journeys, and welcome to Soulforce. What a struggle it sounds like you have had, but the answers are coming to you also it sounds like. I recently ended a relationship of ten years, which was, like you, one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. But, necessary to be most loving to me. The process of coming to have love for our "selves" is so scary, but yet so essential and beautiful at the same time. I am glad that you are recovering from your ex-gay experience, and glad that you are among us here. Good luck in your church search as well. We are one big, happy family, so make sure that you come around often!!! Peace and love, Vanessa :love:

[scott snedeker]

Scottl

Glad to have you her at soulforce!

I also would like to hear about your experience with ex-gay unless it would cause you pain to talk about it.

I think you are Gay because that is your nature. I believe this God-given gift should be honored with a balanced normal full life with passion, romance and love.

I believe Christ loved and accepted all. I believe he Intends for you to love another man who needs your love too.

I don't think he Loved but then judged and conditionally tolerated. I don't recall a "conditionally tolerated" or "condemned" spirit in his message. That I believe comes from people disconnected with the concept of universl love.

I find your story of healing at such a young age warming to my heart. Did you ever see the movie LATTER DAYS? It's my favorite gay film. I'm sure you'll find profound personal touchstones in it.

Love and affimation,

Scotty:cowboy:

[scott snedeker]

And by the way, Great smile!

[tdogg]

Hi Scott!

Welcome to the forums, think you will like it here. Looking forward to getting to know you better and hearing your story, and sharing as well.

Glad you are here!

Tdogg:D :love: :rainbow:

[thattuckerboy]

Dear Vanessa,

Thanks so much for your post. It feels nice to be welcomed into such a loving online family. I look forward to the new year, as I belive it is going to be a year of discovery. I have many truths to uncover in my life, and I'm looking forward to some liberation. I hope you have a wonderful, holiday season.

Cheers,

Scott

[thattuckerboy]

Scotty,

Thanks for welcoming me to Soulforce. I don't mind talking about my ex-gay experience. It doesn't bring me any pain. I attended in 1994, and I find that I'm still uncovering truths about myself because of the time I spent there...

Please feel free to ask any questions you would like about my ex-gay experience.

I have seen Latter Days, and while my ex-gay experience wasn't as horrific as the main charcters, I could still relate to most of the movie.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Scott

[thattuckerboy]

Hi Tdogg,

Thanks for the welcome. I look forward to getting acquainted with everyone here at Soulforce, as well.

Have a wonderful holiday season,

Scott

[scott snedeker]

cupla questions

Was there an assumption that your sexual attraction changed to toward females or some other method of addressing it. The first would to me seem to be a deliberate delusion. The second would seem self loathing. Both appear very damaging to self esteem and your entitlement to a full life of passion love and romance in tune with your nature.

If I were to marry a woman I would be judged by my behavior as a lecherous and miserable husband. It would be like saying that I will photosythesize for nourishment from now on. So either I starve living a lie or violate my oath to survive.

But as an open Gay fella most folks tell me I have it together. Same person, different choice. My nature is not only characterized by attraction to men but also with capacity to passionately love more than one man at a time. This circle of love is magical for us. From it we get a feeling of family and joy and a sense of belonging.

Love and affirmation,
Scotty:cowboy:

[Daniel]

Daniel,

I'm an Upper West Sider, as well. I've been living up there for 10 years. I love the neighborhood and all of the changes over the past years.

Thanks for the encouraging e-mail.

Do you and your partner have a church home? I've visited a couple of churches, but one of my new year's resolutions is to find a church home.

Peace,

Scott

Well..we're both musician's. Husband is an organist and plays in the Bronx at an Episcopal Church and I've sung in Episcopal churches (professionally) since I came to the city- though I 'retired' about a year ago and only 'sub' occasionally. So I guess you could say that we're without a home per se!

As for a home base, the music aspect ("he who sings prays twice") would always weigh as heavily as the theological- but that's me. There is also the warmth and acceptance of the people there.

That said, I have always liked St Luke's in the Field's on Hudson (in the Village) and Church of the Ascension on 11th and 5th. That latter has perhaps the best choir in town. St. John the Divine in Morningside Heights is a wonderful place, though the fire they had about two years ago set them back somewhat- the organ is in mothballs. But what what a space! Evensong there can be very beautiful: I've sung for many of them- :D - and count myself lucky that have met Madeleine L'Engle after one. She came to my school- Evangel College- when I was there in '80- and caused quite a stir at that fundametalist place.

Marble Collegiate has a large gay presence as does St. Bartholomew's.

Wishing you a wonderful Holiday!