Domestic Partner Affadavits/Marriage/Benefits

[Steven E. Webster]

Friends,

Jim and I were legally married in Toronto on Sept. 1, 2006.

I now have the opportunity presented to me by my employer of receiving "Domestic Partner Benefits"--benefits that we probably cannot afford, I should add.

One of the conditions for receiving these benefits is that we both need to sign an affidavit that seems to include language that requires us to deny that we are married.

I am troubled by this, and I am inclined not to sign this document. Since the benefits are not affordable anyway, I guess my question is "purely academic." What do you think? Should I sign a legal document that declares I am not married? Right now I'm going to decline to sign it--I want to know what you folks think!

I should add that the affidavit also says that I've been informed I should speak to an attorney about the affidavit before I sign it. Attorneys are also a cost that don't fit very well in our very tight budget. (Speaking of tight budgets, I should add that we spent our honeymoon in a camping cabin at Niagara Falls, Ontario not a fancy hotel, and in Toronto we camped on the floor of a friend's apartment--we did have a really good time, never-the-less).

We wish we could be Canadian more and more every day!

Steven Webster

[novaseeker]

Steven --

What exactly does the affidavit say relating to marital status?

Wisconsin does not recognize same-sex marriages from other jurisdictions. So, technically, you can sign the affidavit truthfully because under Wisconsin law you have never been married, since Wisconsin does not recognize your Canadian marriage -- ie, for Wisconsin, your marriage never happened.:eek:

So I think you could legally and truthfully sign the affidavit if you wished to do so to obtain the domestic partner benefits.

Does your employer know of your sexual orientation? Are there differences between the benefits packages for domestic partners as compared with married people?

[Daniel]

Steven- I believe Novaseeker is spot on. You can truthfully sign this document- which in no way should invalidate your marriage license since it isn't recognized. But it would make me squirm too.

My husband had I have a similar issue: we are registered domestic-partners with the City of New York and were married legally in Canada June 28, 2005. He has had health coverage through my employer.

I do know what you mean by unaffordable: check into the tax implications. Currently, the IRS considers health insurance benefits taxable as income at a rate which can exceed 50% of the cost of premium (the cost of the premium is added on top of one's income- which puts it in a higher tax bracket). There are companies which make up for this inequity- but they tend to be large corporations.

[scott snedeker]

Daniel,

I always like reading your posts by the way!:)

Could you circle and asterisk the marriage statement on the affidavit and the type in a comment at the bottom like "We are married in Canada but not legally recognized in the state of ________" ?

That would be above board and perhaps stimulate your employer to re-word the affidavit. The fact that he(she) is offering it demonstrates a progressive spirit. One my employer, a hospital if you can believe it, doesn't offer despite multiple presentations by me! :mad: --I am leaving by the way!

Good luck!

Love and affirmation,

Scotty:cowboy:

[scott snedeker]

Steven,

Sorry Got confused as to who started this thread!:headbang: :headbang:



Could you circle and asterisk the marriage statement on the affidavit and the type in a comment at the bottom like "We are married in Canada but not legally recognized in the state of ________" ?

That would be above board and perhaps stimulate your employer to re-word the affidavit. The fact that he(she) is offering it demonstrates a progressive spirit. One my employer, a hospital if you can believe it, doesn't offer despite multiple presentations by me! :mad: --I am leaving by the way!

Good luck!

Love and affirmation,

Scotty:cowboy:

[Steven E. Webster]

Friends,

I'll be studying the affidavit form more closely this afternoon. Need to make decisions this week.

They have modified the form already--very slightly. Initially we were asked to deny we were married outright. Now we just have to deny that we are legally married in the state of our legal residence.

However, the next paragraph makes us promise "to get married" should marriage become legal. This is more problematic. I think I am going to suggest language that states plainly that we WERE LEGALLY MARRIED in Ontario and that we expect that THAT marriage would be recognized should Wisconsin change it's laws to permit us to marry.

Jim and I have seen some discussion of whether same gender couples who are already married in Canada should be "re-married" in the State of Mass., for instance. The advice is "no" since Mass. requires one to deny being already married to get married and since getting "re-married" might represent a repudiation or denial of the legality of the earlier marriage.

We have big money issues (big lack of money issues)--but we are going to have to get an attorney sooner or later. We just got a good referral from a physician friend who also married his husband in Toronto.

Steven Webster

[Zerbie]

I keep trying to reply to this and the response keeps disappearing when I click the Send button. :(

I'm glad you have a good referral for a lawyer with experience in your type of situation - especially now that it's clear the language in the affadavit was even more complicated than apparent from your initial post.

What is your situation without the DP benefits? Is your partner without health insurance at the moment? Or paying gazillions for the premiums? Would your overall household expenses all escalate under this new plan, and if so, would that be with, or without, adding significant protection for your spouse? It might be worth the increased expense to get your partner's health care covered if he is going without, right now.

[tpdncr4christ]

Now, what I'm about to say might be totally wrong, because I have no idea about legal terms and such.

I understand you and your husband are married in Canada? Congratulations. Then you moved, or lived in, Massechuteses (I didn't spell that right). In order for you to get you companies benefits you have to sign a peice of paper saying you marriage doesn't count. Well... I have a qestion: Does a peice of paper have more authority than God? In other words if God knows, who cares who else knows? I have a feeling God has a little more say in the way of things than the state. If its better to sign, sign. You and your husband both know, God knows, we know; let the state of massechuteses say it didn't happen. In the end, they are just lying to themselves.

Austin

[Steven E. Webster]

Now, what I'm about to say might be totally wrong, because I have no idea about legal terms and such.

I understand you and your husband are married in Canada? Congratulations. Then you moved, or lived in, Massechuteses (I didn't spell that right). In order for you to get you companies benefits you have to sign a peice of paper saying you marriage doesn't count. Well... I have a qestion: Does a peice of paper have more authority than God? In other words if God knows, who cares who else knows? I have a feeling God has a little more say in the way of things than the state. If its better to sign, sign. You and your husband both know, God knows, we know; let the state of massechuteses say it didn't happen. In the end, they are just lying to themselves.

Austin

If one believe God is a God of Truth, one does not want to sign a false affidavit! Actually, I don't think God plays as big a concern here as legal, financial and ethical matters. We did not go to Canada to get married simply to please God--we think God was plenty pleased with out relationship just the way it was before marriage. I do believe that God is a God of Justice, Mercy, Truth and Love--none of which justifies lying on a legal document. I think I'm going to go ahead and insist that my affidavit is truthful in every respect and does not ignore or deny the fact of our legal marriage.

By the way, we live in Wisconsin--never lived in Mass. We were married in Toronto, Ontario--there is no residency requirement to be legally married in Canada, and they really treat same-gender couples very well and with full equality in marriage.

We are deeply committed to changing the law in Wisconsin, and we need to live the change we want to see!

My partner is currently not insured. This is a terribly difficult decision--choosing between expensive health insurance and continuing to eat better than cat food. The cost of the insurance in proportion to our income is certainly more than what economists would consider "affordable."

My partner had a heart attack several years ago. He was uninsured then and had to go through bankruptcy due to the medical bills. One advantage of not being legally married is that he was able to file bankruptcy and my finances were not tied to his legally. When he declared his assets, he only had to declare half of our home and "my" assets (such as they are) were out of the picture.

Steven Webster

[scott snedeker]

Austin You are beautiful!

Don't compromise you ideals! You are entitled to equality. Never surrender!

Love Scotty:cowboy:

[Zerbie]

Steven I have no idea what it's like to have to make a decision like that. I wish I had some words for you, but I truly do not.

Just wanted to offer up some of these for you and your spouse: :love: :pray: :love: :pray: :love: :pray:

Please keep us up to date.