Bad Day

[SolInvictus]

Hey all,
my boyfriend just all of sudden broke up w/ me. He didn't tell me why, except to say "I deserved someone better." In other words, he's dating someone else.

We were so serious & then he dumps me! I have to wonder if I was the victim of some manipulative game. Ugh.

Remember me in your prayers, please.

[Jennifer5]

I'm sorry to here that. But just remember now it's hard, but you'll be okay. Remember that you always have friends here, and no matter what we're all here for you. :)

[Joe Brummer]

I'm sorry to here that. But just remember now it's hard, but you'll be okay. Remember that you always have friends here, and no matter what we're all here for you. :)


Ditto! Sending waves of good energy and warm hugs your way!!!!! If there is anything I can do, let me know!!!!

[SolInvictus]

Thanks everybody ((Hugs))

I'm just in shock & mad for being lied to. Watching Smallville didn't help as Lana or Lex "you don't lie to the ones you love." Apparently, he didn't love me...

I'll be okay - just sad.

[Zerbie]

So sorry!! We're all your friends and we're here for you. Let us know whenever you want some cyberhugs.

:love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love:

[Jamie McDaniel]

I know your heart is heavy right now, SolInvictus, but in time you and your prince will find each other. Maybe this boyfriend will realize what he gave up and then voice his desire to be in relationship with you again. Or maybe this is just how your journey towards an eventual fullfilling and affirming love is going to play out.

There is a lyric in the song Affirmation by Savage Garden.

"I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned."

My idealism in the area of romance used to push me to reject such assessments as that regarding human love. (My idealism may have also been what kept me from actually actively seeking a romantic relationship with another gay man.)

My friend, who is in his forties, told me that you simply cannot know love without pain. I humphed at that notion. However later, when I experienced rejection and all the raw emotions that go with first loves that don't work out, I found the thought somewhat comforting.

I will say a prayer for you like you asked. You have known pain. You will know love.

Hugs,

Jamie

[SolInvictus]

Thanks Zerbie ((hugs))

Thank you so much Jamie. That really helps. Y'all are great friends.

[NonLemming]

I went through something similar 6 years ago after an 8 year relationship. There are no additional words of comfort I can offer that haven't been mentioned above except to take really good care of yourself. If you need to talk with someone, check out your EAP program at work if it's offered. I went to a counselor for several months and it helped me immensely.

My heart does go out to you. You are not alone and it will get better, just be patient with yourself.

Be well.

[keltic63]

sorry to hear about this, Sol, but Jamie has spoken some wise words. even in a healthy relationship there is a certain amount of pain. I'm learning that I can say what I need to say to my partner, knowing that he will hear me, respond, perhaps even be angry with me, but we will work it out. There has been a certain amount of pain for me to arrive at feeling safe enough in a relationship to let this happen, yet when I allow it, the relationship runs much smoother.

You'll be fine, allow yourself some time to grieve, then realize that something better is on the way!

[pnggrad79]

Sol,
I am so sorry that your boyfriend left you. It is one of the hardest things to deal with. It is one of those things you just have to feel this way until you don't feel this way anymore. Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up thinking you did anything wrong, or that you were the cause of this-it takes two in any relationship and in any disagreement, no one is totally right. Prayers for grace, peace, compassion and the resounding love of Jesus are coming your way. Love will find you, now that you know what to look for.:o

[SolInvictus]

Thanks everybody - wise words from everyone

((Hugs))

[Shep]

Sol,
I wanted to respond to your post yesterday, but wanted to say the right thing so I figured I'd think about it. Now after reading everyone elses comments I don't think there is anything that I can add. Time, a positive outlook and support from your friends here at Soulforce will help you to move on.

[SolInvictus]

Thank you Shep: I appreciate it.

[NathanATX]

I left a bad relationship 2 years ago, even though I was totally in love with him.

Let me tell that it does take time to heal from loss, but healing does come. Surround yourself with friends & loved ones. Nurture yourself.

Meditate on who you want to be and what you want your life to look like. Think about the kind of man you want to be with and the relationship you want to have.

And then realize you're worth all of that... and so much more. God loves you and has GOOD plans for your life.

Find people in your life who will encourage you to be committed to having a great life.

And like all the wonderful people on here have said, when you're having a hard day, know that we're sending our love & peace to you.

You're gonna make it.

[SolInvictus]

Thanks Nathan - I'll take that advice & appreciate it.

[Jennifer5]

Remember just say the word and we're all here for you.:love:

[SolInvictus]

Thanks everyone for the support & prayers ((Hugs))
We may be reconciling - I'll let you know.
Your positive energy helped so much - thank you & appreciate it always.

[pnggrad79]

How are things going b/t you and boyfriend? Anything new?:)

[SolInvictus]

Well, I found out why he was being so distant: major illness in the family. He was afraid to open up about it & he may relocate to be w/ them until things are okay. We made up & are getting along great again :-)

I may end up relocating w/ him - depends on how he feels & the family situation there. If not, I'll commute to see him, and worst case scenario: wait until he returns here or just remain close friends. He may not be relocating for a couple of months so we have time to work on this issue, and what it means for the both of us. Knowing the truth, it makes the situation much easier. I do love him & he is said so to me many times over.

I don't know what will happen - but, for now, I'm enjoying being with him.

[Jamie McDaniel]

You keep us posted, now. It's great when bois get back together!

[Jennifer5]

Glad to here that you're back together. :) ...Keep us posted.:love:

[SolInvictus]

Will do, y'all - thanks so much again ((Hugs))

I just hope he doesn't move away permenantly - if he does, I may have to convince him that I'm willing to go the distance to be w/ him. I understand his difficult situation: major sickness in the family & he wants to help them out. He asked that I be patient right now & I agreed - at least I know he loves me, and I hope we will have a continued relationship together.

Definitely keep y'all updated :-)

[Jennifer5]

Just remember, hang in there... no matter what we're all here. Hope everything goes alright with who ever his relative is.:love: :love: :love:

[SolInvictus]

I am hanging in there & his dad is sick. We're still getting along well & if he'll allow it - follow my man wherever he goes.

[SolInvictus]

Well, my bf is going up to take care of his dad in his hometown a few hrs away. He says he needs to do this alone & I shouldn't have to wait on him.
I replied that I'm a fighter & not giving up on our love. I'll keep ya' posted as things progress.

[pnggrad79]

sol,
Blessings on you and your bf. I hope things are going to get better with his father. Are ya'll going to stay in touch or is communication not on the agenda?:o

[SolInvictus]

Yeah, we'll probably talk by phone or email for now. In regards to our relationship, I don't know where it will go. I do wish the best for his father & thank you (this includes all of you here @ Soulforce) for the continued support and friendship.

[tx_gaydemocrat]

yes, please keep us posted! I believe this is just a testimony to how prayer works...thank God its not as bad as first believed.

:)

[SolInvictus]

Amen TX. Thank you all & Thank You God :-)

[MJ4JC]

hey what i tell myself when such things happen is...

"God he was totally awesome! But this means only that You have someone better instore for me!"

Look towards the future! If you think "he" was great.... God has someone better. My friend matt once said that dating (doesnt matter how long) is finding out an answer to one question and that is "Is "he" the one I am to marry?" If he dumps you, then its not a failure its an answer and that is "NO" SO dont look at it neg. look at it has a positive thing... an answer to the question and the fact that God has someone better for you!!! And who knows "he" may just come back into your life.... pray for patience and peace during this time of suffering. GOD will never adandon us to ourselves. He is always there with open arms!! HE LOVES YOU and you have so many lovely and adorable guys and girls in Christ here to support you and encourage you in His Word everyday. So come in and sign on and someone should be here to comfort if not remember I am praying for you. AND i mean it. I DONT just say it to be "a good Christian". I am a prayer warrior!! PRAYER can CHANGES things!!!


Your friend in Christ,

MJ <>< 2 Corinthians 4:8-18 (good verse)

[Zerbie]

I believe it's true, certain things are meant to be, and life will finagle until they get that way. If this is *the* one for you, Sol, it will work out, perhaps not now, but later.

It's incredibly difficult when something like this happens early in a relationship. It can wreck the newborn relationship. I once met someone who I thought was a great match and who I had great times with, and a few weeks into it, his mom died. He had to leave town to take care of the estate, and of course there was all the emotional/familial chaos to deal with. We emailed once, and then I never heard from him again. I met my husband two months later. So, you never know. It could be this guy, or there could be an even more suitable match for you getting lined up for the future. Whatever life brings, I too wish you much happiness, enjoyment, love, and peace, along with all your other soulforce friends.

[JoeyNTerryLvJesus]

Hey guys and gals!
I am new to this forum, so I just wanted to take a minute and introduce myself. My name is Joey. I am 29 years old and I live in Dalton Georgia with my partner Terry. I love to read, listen to music, and watch movies. I really have been enjoying the posts that I've been reading, and I'm eager to get to know all of you wonderful people! Hang in there Sol. I think things are gonna work out between you and your boyfriend . He seems like a wonderful person.:) Mike I agree with you buddy. Prayer absolutely changes things. I have been told that I'm a prayer warrior too:) I think we could have a lot in common. Well I'm gonna go for now. I can't wait to start hearing from everyone!

In Christ's Love,
Joey :)

[SolInvictus]

First, welcome to the forum Joey. This is a wonderful place to be.

Next, big hugs to all of you here. I will take your advice & words of wisdom to my heart & your words are of great help, truly. If my bf & I do not work out, then at least, like you all said, someone better may be on the way.
Hey Zerbie, thats awesome about you & your husband! Very inspiring.

Peace, Love, & Blessings to Everyone!
Sol

[SolInvictus]

Well, we are seperated as a couple, and agreed to be close friends. Strangely, I feel a certain peace about this situation, and I do not regret loving him. He made my life better, and we had something special, which I hope may kindle again in the near future.

Please keep me in your prayers, and, as always, thanks for the continued friendship and support. Peace & Blessings to all.

[Vanessa White]

Great for you, Sol. No regrets, just knowing you had that love, and as Zerbie said, if it is meant to be someday, it will be. Other things may be in store for you. New, great, magical things. Grieve as you need to, take care of yourself, and be open to what is coming down the road. Best to you today and always. Peace and :love:

[SolInvictus]

Thanks Vanessa ((Hugs)).

Yeah, hopefully Mr. Right will arrive soon.