Should I publicly come out yet?

[superhippy7890]

Yes this is a major dessicion, but I have already come out to my family and some friends. Should I just be out public now?:confused:

[Daniel]

Yes this is a major dessicion, but I have already come out to my family and some friends. Should I just be out public now?:confused:

Well......your your pic is on this forum for starters, if that is you, of course. That's pretty public, don't you think? ;)

For most of us, coming out 'publicly' means one person at at time, that is, unless one is some sort of media person and then it's 'news'. That's not to say there may be a time and a place where you might want to anounce yourself- like a youth group etc.

But my instinct is to tell you this: if you are concerned about it and have doubts: wait.

Opportunites to 'come out' will present themselves to you before you know it.

[superhippy7890]

No the pic is the cover of my favriote Phish album Billy Breaths. To me, it's getting kinda annoying to keep hiding it. It would be a great load off my back if I come out.

[Daniel]

No the pic is the cover of my favriote Phish album Billy Breaths. To me, it's getting kinda annoying to keep hiding it. It would be a great load off my back if I come out.

Well.....that just goes to show how current I am with 'popular culture'! :lol:

Most of the posters here do not have a pic of themselves- for various reasons- so you are in good company. This may have to do with self-conscious more than anything else. Even I changed my avatar recently. Got tired of seeing myself!

I know guys your age hate to be told this, but it's still true: you have plenty of time. I remember not being able to stand it when I was 20 that I wasn't 35 and having a great time. Well, when I did get to 35, I wondered, 'why was I in such a hurry?' Enjoying each moment is more important than rushing to where you want to go. It's how we get there that's important.

[keltic63]

No the pic is the cover of my favriote Phish album Billy Breaths. To me, it's getting kinda annoying to keep hiding it. It would be a great load off my back if I come out.


to which are you referring: hiding your face? or hiding your orientation? although, I will say hiding either would become annoying for any length of time. :D

[superhippy7890]

my orientation. But maybe it IS time to take the ol paper bag off. It's getting to smell kinda musty!

[Daniel]

my orientation. But maybe it IS time to take the ol paper bag off. It's getting to smell kinda musty!

You mentioned that you are out to your family and a few friends. So you want to widen the circle somewhat? Though I have to ask....it this really about wanting a boyfriend as mentioned in another thread? ;) :D

[tpdncr4christ]

you seem ready... but you will know when the right time is. and it also depends on how you come out. If you come out with a big comming out party with rainbow ribbons and pictures of half naked men on your walls... that might be received a little bit differently than if you just stopped lying to people. I did that latter of the two... I just stopped saying I was straight when anyone had any quesitons. Or if someone was all like, "hey she's cute." then I would say, "Indeed... like a puppy kinda cute. Now he is cute." So it depends on how, and if you are ready. But in the end it is ultimatley your choice. If you have support enought that you think you can do it... do it.:cool:

[Daniel]

In real estate they have a saying: Location- location- location. The same might be said for how and when one 'announces' one's sexuality.

[sawyer]

Sverker Åström is Swedish diplomacy's grand old man. At the age of 90, he still actively participates in the political debate taking place in Sweden and is regularly featured in Swedish media. He worked at the UN in New York for a while. Sverker came out 2 years ago at the age of 88, although he said many probably knew for the last 50 years. He says, "If I as a well-known person comes out, it may not be considered so taboo. It was to support others that I accepted to be named "the gay person of the year" 2 years ago...Coming out has made me happier and freer..." When he told the Prime Minister, Olof Plame, Olof just said, "So what" and nothing more. From the Swedish Times Dec 06

I would say the reason to wait to come out is because you yourself have not understood completely yet, why you need not be ashamed of who you are. I was slow to come out thinking that I may lose some business. Business is better.

Usually you don't have the opportunity to "preach" to people, so a simple "I've only been attracted to men. I change what I can and accept what I can't change." That should do it. And expect 0,1, or 2 words from the hearer of that.

[Daniel]

Sawyer- great story! Thanks for posting it here. Made me smile from ear to ear.

[Zerbie]

Yes this is a major dessicion, but I have already come out to my family and some friends. Should I just be out public now?:confused:

Hi there, Hippy.

I too wonder what you mean by "should you be out in public?" - since the biggie, I would think, is your immediate circle of family and friends. You say you have come out to them. What do you mean by public?

Even though I'm not sure what you mean by "publicly" I am hesitant - I would tend to say wait a while. Bear in mind that I have NO idea what it's like to be out as gay in high school, and certainly don't know what it would be like specifically at YOUR high school, but when I was in HS it would have been UNHEARD of. The guys who were rumored to be gay were treated pretty rotten, actually, by a lot of other kids. :( I imagine that nowadays it runs the gamut from no big deal to really troublesome, depending upon the HS and the kids involved.

The main thing is to make sure that you are safe, both physically, and also emotionally. Obviously I advise against coming out in any situation where there is reason to anticipate physical danger. But also against it if there is a strong likelihood that being out so soon might put you in situations that are just too much to handle right now. Where you could be "over your head," so to speak.

Don't hate me for saying it, but, I tend to think: wait.

Get involved in things that interest you, whether it's sports, theater, writing/editing, student government - whatever, and let your life be about those things. You are out to your friends. At this point, I'm not sure you have a reason to be any more "out" than that.

[superhippy7890]

well thanks for all the replies! I really do appreciate it! decide I will be out in public. YAY!

[scott snedeker]

I think being out as early as possible is the best thing you can do for your self-esteem!

Love and affirmation,

Scotty:cowboy:

[tpdncr4christ]

i'll be praying

[Dash]

Way to go!

I pray that your path is easy on your feet, and that those who meet you will greet you as friends.:pray:

[Daniel]

Good for you. Let us know how it goes, ok?

[GirlGirl]

I would say the reason to wait to come out is because you yourself have not understood completely yet, why you need not be ashamed of who you are.

Ooh, that's good. I'm keeping that one handy.

Lisa

[BruceChris]

well thanks for all the replies! I really do appreciate it! decide I will be out in public. YAY!

I find myself wondering just how your above statement looks in the light of your signature line,

"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal"

You don't HAVE to do it al at once, a little bit at a time will do nicely.

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

[superhippy7890]

Ahh but I WANT to be fatal. No I do think scincerity would be a good thing for this time. Did Oscar not sincerely belive that he was a genius (fact)? Oh and it already happend, I told a group of guys when they asked me. When I was leaving I heard one them say "that was so brave of him to admit that".

[keltic63]

Ahh but I WANT to be fatal. No I do think scincerity would be a good thing for this time. Did Oscar not sincerely belive that he was a genius (fact)? Oh and it already happend, I told a group of guys when they asked me. When I was leaving I heard one them say "that was so brave of him to admit that".

That is good to hear!

I guess now is a good time to let the adults here know that things are indeed changing for lgbt young people. I have 2 teenagers, and 1 in elementary school. The teenagers have told me about students in their HS that have come out. some of them have even been willing to participate in steretypically gay activities: 2 guys have been on the cheerleading squad, in separate years, which made them the only guy on a squad of young ladies. I questioned my kids at length about how these out kids are treated at school, and the answer always seems to be a shrug of the shoulders; a real NON-Issue, at least in our HS. One of the kids in the show for which I am musical director is a Sr. with my son. This guy hasn't come out, but it's very obvious that he is gay. When I asked my son about Matt, he seemed irritated, but not about the gay issue! It turns out that they are in chorus together, and my son doesn't care for the kid's voice.....

[Zerbie]

That is good to hear!

I guess now is a good time to let the adults here know that things are indeed changing for lgbt young people. a real NON-Issue, at least in our HS. .....

Gauging by your post and Brian's latest it would seem so.

And it's about damn time too!!!!

[superhippy7890]

I'm in middle school. But I agree, praise the lord!

[superhippy7890]

blum dfrm gum

[scott snedeker]

Ahh but I WANT to be fatal.

In the sense of determining your fate yourself!.....Clever!

Oh and it already happend, I told a group of guys when they asked me. When I was leaving I heard one them say "that was so brave of him to admit that".

I cheered too! Hey and that group of guys deserve a cheer too! For the courage and caring enough about you to ask!

Love and affirmation,

Scotty:cowboy:

[superhippy7890]

thank you! Tghe being out in the open has been going really well!