A Guide to Understanding Gays ...

[andrewlittle]

... from Theo7scribe at Gay_Christians_Online.

A GUIDE TO UNDERSTANDING GAYS
(prepared for hethersexuals)
_________________________________________________

A. THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE

They work at their jobs.
They shop for groceries.
They go to the movies.
They do laundry.
They order take-out.


___________________________________________


B. HOW TO BEHAVE WHEN YOU MEET
GAY PEOPLE

1. Don't run screaming from the room. This is rude.
2. If you must back away, do so slowly and with discretion.
3. Don't assume they are attracted to you.
4. Don't assume they aren't attracted to you.
5. Don't expect them to be as excited about meeting a heterosexual
as you may be about meeting a gay person.
6. Don't immediately start talking about your boy/girlfriend or
husband/wife in order to make it clear that you're straight.
7. Don't ask them how they got that way. Instead, ask yourself how
you got the way you are.
8. Don't assume they're dying to talk about being gay.
9. Don't expect them to refrain from talking about being gay.
10. Don't trivialise their experience by assuming it's a bedroom issue
only. They're gay 24 hours a day

[keltic63]

They're gay 24 hours a day


24hour Gay; All Gay, All the Time! :wave:

[Daniel]

My God....my watch has stopped! Does that mean.......?

[Zerbie]

:rofl:

This is priceless!!

I especially enjoyed #5. :D :D :D

[Dash]

I like #'s 3 & 4...

Hee heee!:lol:

[GirlGirl]

1. Don't run screaming from the room. This is rude.
2. If you must back away, do so slowly and with discretion.


This is my favourite part. So subtle.

Thanks for this.

Lisa

[tpdncr4christ]

someone should get this into the FOTF weblist so all there readers know what to do when they see us... that would make me happy.:D

[Assured]

I loved the HOW to Understand Gays..i just emailed it to my friend..{wonder how she will react...woops}:D

[sailaway58]

Funny, yet practical. I like it

[dsdrane]

An ex- of mine would be shocked to hear that "doing laundry" is part of the Homosexual Lifestyle.

I always thought I was the gayer one.:rolleyes:

[scott snedeker]

You might add some ammendments:

Don't pet gays while they are eating
Unless they are used to being petted while eating (best not to ask how this came about)
Good points are awarded when you comment on their fabulousness
Invite advice on decor
it's generally good to stop at two martini's for both of you
A bidet in your guest bathroom scores mucho points
Learn the proper intonation of "Sweetie" before using (practice on a friend)
Cats and dogs jumping on your gay guest will start off on the right foot
And of course gourmet desserts!

BTW I see you have really grabbed your new Allistair Moody persona!!!

[BrentRichards]

Don't invite advice on decor from me! I rake my carpets twice a year, whether they need it or not.

[andrewlittle]

You might add some ammendments:

Don't pet gays while they are eating
Unless they are used to being petted while eating (best not to ask how this came about)
Good points are awarded when you comment on their fabulousness
Invite advice on decor
it's generally good to stop at two martini's for both of you
A bidet in your guest bathroom scores mucho points
Learn the proper intonation of "Sweetie" before using (practice on a friend)
Cats and dogs jumping on your gay guest will start off on the right foot
And of course gourmet desserts!

BTW I see you have really grabbed your new Allistair Moody persona!!!

Well, as I found out more about Mad-eye, he kind of resonated with me. He strikes me as a good front for someone who has spent life running with sticks.

[paul]

Daniel,

I hope you got your watch fixed. "Reparative therapy?"

[Assured]

HELLO GUYS

I NEED SOME DIALOGUE IN MY ..HELLO MY NAME IS...{section}I SEEM TO BE THE LAST ONE TO HAVE MADE A POST AND I COULD REALLY DO WITH SOME INTERACTION WITH YOU AT THE MOMENT

pretty please!!!:pray:

[u-dog]

HELLO GUYS

I NEED SOME DIALOGUE IN MY ..HELLO MY NAME IS...{section}I SEEM TO BE THE LAST ONE TO HAVE MADE A POST AND I COULD REALLY DO WITH SOME INTERACTION WITH YOU AT THE MOMENT

pretty please!!!:pray:

Hey sweet thing! you don't have to stay in that thread! you can interact with us anywhere/time you want. What's going on?

[tdogg]

Daniel,

I hope you got your watch fixed. "Reparative therapy?"

Or, repairative.....

These are great, thanks for sharing Andy! I wonder, perhaps I should mail them out to my intolerant relatives.....:cool::rolleyes::lol:

[BruceChris]

They put their pants on, one leg at a time.

P&L, BC