Why are you at Soulforce?

[Jennifer5]

I know this question has been asked before, but... why are you here... what about this site makes it different from all the others... and what keeps you coming back???

[ctozrn]

Wow! I am surprised that nobody has responded yet! I think this is a great question. I am here because at one time I thought it was impossible to be gay and Christian. I love being able to come here to people that are just like me. It is fun to meet and "talk" to people that are from all over the United States. Where else can I talk to college students, ministers, someone just begining the coming out journey, gay activists, moms, dads, the list is endless.... Being here is like coming to our very own coffee shop, meeting here to talk like old friends. I am amazed at other peoples lives. How we are the same and how we are different.

Anyway, that is why I am here! :)

[Daniel]

Want the real unvarnished truth? Well....here it is:

I started participating in Soulforce because I could not stand the pain and anger my relationship with my conservative family was causing me.

[andrewlittle]

Jenna and I attended the Midwest Holy Relationships Conference in Iowa City. It was a truly great experience, at which we were definitely in the minority. I believe, however, that we were the only ones really cognizant of that.

Anyway, among the remarkable speakers was one Rev Mel White who, along with the organizer Rich McCarty, was really impassioned about the subject of marital equality. A truly inspiring feature of the conference was the number of attendees and participants who were GLBT in relatively conservative denominations - Reformed Church in America, Christian Reformed Church, Baptist, Pentecostals, Missouri Synod Lutheran, etc.

I was convicted to be more than a quiet ally - to somehow be more involved and vocal. If these people can be GLBT, advocates and activists in those denominations, why couldn't I be more vocal in my own, conflicted Presbyterian (USA) churches. What better place to learn and start, I figured, than Soulforce.

[Zerbie]

Want the real unvarnished truth? Well....here it is:

I started participating in Soulforce because I could not stand the pain and anger my relationship with my conservative family was causing me.

(((((((((( Daniel )))))))))))) :love: I didn't know that. :( :love:
See, n' now you have this HU---GE Soulforce family too, to balance things out. ;) Cue dance number. :sing: :smashy:

My answer:

Sheer avarice. :D I joined for the free book that went to the first however many (10?) people who registered and uploaded an avatar. Figgered I'd never post again. :laughing: :laughing: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Keep comin' back because I fell in love with the extended family of regulars who post here. More myself here than in almost any situation - and have even noticed becoming still more open in 3D life because of the support and trust I feel coming from here. As I've said so many gazillions of times, this internet-forum is like NO other. A truly remarkable, loving, supportive environment which speaks volumes about the collective character of SF's founders and the loving, caring, gentle people it attracts as members.

[scott snedeker]

My Brother did a Google search of my name for the heck of it and found my letter to the editor On Gay rights quoted here. I was interested.

From there my interest grew. Now I see the opportunity to Further actvism to help others and gain support as well affirmation for my self. We all need a shoulder now and then.

I believe future history will identify soulfource and its creators as a cornerstone in the evolution of society's sensibility.

It is a cybersanctuary to help those older gay folks like me to recover from the injury of the psychological child abuse we suffered at the hands of homophobia.

It is a refuge from the psychological abuse for young gay folks today, and supports the fragile developing sexual Identity. This will potentially prevent injury to self-esteem.

Better self esteem results in better life decision-making which allows access to the joy in life to which we are entitled.

Writing my thoughts down for the world to see in a safe environment also allows me to reflect the emotional hygiene of the direction of my thought-focus. (okay, read that slowly again):lol:

Great thread btw, Jenn!

Love and affirmation,

Scotty:cowboy:

[Daniel]

Scotty is right....a gread thread...that would be all the more greater when you answer you own question Jen. Pretty Please? And Im curious to know what the other youngin's have to say.

[Jennifer5]

Scotty is right....a gread thread...that would be all the more greater when you answer you own question Jen. Pretty Please? And Im curious to know what the other youngin's have to say.


Alright, alright...

January 2004, my uncle, (well my mom's gay AIDS patient and best friend at the time we just called him uncle, it was easier then explaining the relationship to conservative friends) was currently working with the UCC conference and he had arranged to have Mel White come to our church while he was in the area. I didn't have the slightest idea who Mel White was, all I knew was that my parents had been doing nothing but fighting (this would've been only about a month before we ended up locking my dad out of the house and my mom failing for the divorce), and I at that point trusted my 'uncle' more then anyone else, and I felt like he was sort of all I had.

Anyway, he said go, you'll enjoy it... so I didn't ask any questions, and I went. A bunch of people that I didn't know showed up, and it was a really small crowd, and this guy sat down next to my sister and I how were in our 'corner' just sitting there, not really knowing what to do. We talked to him for quit a while, and then they told us to go into the other room for what-ever this thing was.

This thing went on for I think 2 hours, and it was only supposed to last an hour, so I was actually getting pretty bored. But then, I don't know Gary (the man that had been sitting next to us) for some reason chimed in and corrected him on something. I was so completely thrown off, I didn't realize there was any connection between the two men... or I didn't realize there was a connection in the sense of they were partners. For some reason, I was suddenly interested on some level.

I thought it was over, they seemed like nice guys, but I couldn't let go of that 'Dear, Dr. Dobson' thing that they kept talking about. So somehow I was able to convince the church that they needed to sponsor our family (aka that pastor's family) to go to Colorado... for some reason it had a really weird effect on me... I loved Soulforce, and I kept coming back to the site and reading things, and I couldn't stay away.


*sorry if all that didn't make sense, I'm to tired to read over it right now

[Daniel]

Jen Honey.....you make more sense than people twice your age with plaques on wall do. You have heart, gentleness, spunk and my everlasting love and admiration. :love: :love: :love:

[Jennifer5]

Jen Honey.....you make more sense than people twice your age with plaques on wall do. You have heart, gentleness, spunk and my everlasting love and admiration. :love: :love: :love:

Wow, that's quit a compliment! Why is it that the gay guys always know how to make a girl smile... Thanks Daniel, it's nice to know that I'm still appreciated, this year hasn't been going as well as I'd like it to...

[dsdrane]

Wow!

I'm here because I'm gay and Christian, two things I never would have put together forever.

Life is funny, no?

[Pablo Rafael]

I came to Soulforce sometime after reading Sranger at the Gate. An internet search on "Mel White" brought me here.

At first I was reluctant to post anything. I just read what others had to say. (Now 100 and some posts later, I have to pretty much comment on everything.) It is good to have a place where once can be gay and Christian and not have to argue and defend oneself all the time. Even though not all the members are Christian, I find an acceptance even from those who disagree with me.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

[Zerbie]

Wow, that's quit a compliment! Why is it that the gay guys always know how to make a girl smile... Thanks Daniel, it's nice to know that I'm still appreciated, this year hasn't been going as well as I'd like it to...

(((((( Jen )))))))

Sorry to hear that. Fwiw, I read that the last week in January is about the crummiest time of year, on average. So, expect things to look up and get much better. Quite possibly, very soon.

:love:

Here, have some magic dust. :magic: :magic: :magic:

[Lydia]

Because it inspires me.

[tdogg]

Yeah, some of what Cztorn, Daniel, Zerbie, dsdrane, Pablo and Lydia all say - but mostly because of my wonderful friends (all the prior named plus Andrew, Jen, Scott and all the others) - no way could I leave now. And then, there's all the lurkers and new folks (I apologize for neglecting ALL the new members in recent months - SORRY!!!) who may get something out of what I say and who may in turn bless me with their words. What an awesome, inspiring, safe and interesting place and although I don't have as much time as I would like on the forums, I refuse to deprive myself of this wonderful place! Thank you everyone!

[tpdncr4christ]

lets see... I'm here because of an old youth pastor. She had told me that this was a cool place, so I checked it out...

Then I never got around to posting anything till I saw one of Daniel's posts... you all remember that? yeah... at first I thought you all were craaaazee... but then I read some more posts and kinda fell in love with it. This is a (for the most part) safe place. I like it here. It's a safe place... <3

Most def a safe place... I think...

[Jennifer5]

lets see... I'm here because of an old youth pastor. She had told me that this was a cool place, so I checked it out...

Then I never got around to posting anything till I saw one of Daniel's posts... you all remember that? yeah... at first I thought you all were craaaazee... but then I read some more posts and kinda fell in love with it. This is a (for the most part) safe place. I like it here. It's a safe place... <3

Most def a safe place... I think...

You thought we were all crazy... thanks a lot:rolleyes: ...:lol: I suppose someone could easily get that impression though. Well, we're glad you decided to stick around though!

..and at least as far as I can tell, it is still a safe place.. been on the forums over a year now, and haven't seen any real problems, (just a few ridiculous arguments, a few I even got involved in:p ) but other then that... I think they've got a pretty good thing going here :love:

[tpdncr4christ]

You thought we were all crazy... thanks a lot:rolleyes: ...:lol: I suppose someone could easily get that impression though. Well, we're glad you decided to stick around though!

..and at least as far as I can tell, it is still a safe place.. been on the forums over a year now, and haven't seen any real problems, (just a few ridiculous arguments, a few I even got involved in:p ) but other then that... I think they've got a pretty good thing going here :love:

you get in arguments? i don't think its possible...

[Jennifer5]

you get in arguments? i don't think its possible...
Awe, you'd be surprised:lol:, completely ridiculous ones with Patrick (Emproph)... but the main thing was with this one guy that was being completely unreasonable and was just coming to pick a fight, or tell us how it is (http://www.soulforce.org/forums/showthread.php?t=1091)..Dean and I were up all night with that one.

[Zerbie]

Awe, you'd be surprised:lol:, completely ridiculous ones with Patrick (Emproph)... but the main thing was with this one guy that was being completely unreasonable and was just coming to pick a fight, or tell us how it is (http://www.soulforce.org/forums/showthread.php?t=1091)..Dean and I were up all night with that one.

I totally remember that! I missed the whole thing and found about 100 posts when I logged on the next morning! :lol: The guy was pretty recalcitrant. And Jen was an angel - very wise, too.

[Jennifer5]

I totally remember that! I missed the whole thing and found about 100 posts when I logged on the next morning! :lol: The guy was pretty recalcitrant. And Jen was an angel - very wise, too....that's what you keep saying, although I never really saw it in myself, it was a good experience though... I think I learned alot about dealing with difficult people

[pnggrad79]

When I came out over 2 years ago, I read everything I could find on being gay and being Christian. One of the first books I read was Stranger at the Gate. When I finished reading it, I decided to check out Soulforce to see what it was about. I didn't know gay Christians existed much less had a website with other gay Christians.

Mostly I post here because I can express myself and remain fairly anonymous. I also come here for good friends like Keltic, Revcobb, Zerbie, Jennifer5 and others. Most of us know the pain of being rejected and scorned by church and family and this is a safe place for us to come, to rant and rave, receive encouragement, or just to have fun. ;)

[scorpiogirl]

I've been struggling with my faith since coming out last year, but it has more to do with the ELCA and its position on gays than anything else.

I first heard about Soulforce after the Ted Haggard scandal and I started poking around, but I didn't decide to register until I saw "Friends of God". After watching that I just really felt a need to get more involved.

[mhubicz]

Hello All,

First timer, here! and I'm here because my son is one of the Soul-force riders. Long before he applied for the ride, I found this site after a google search. I made copies of "what the Bible does and doesn't say about Homosexuality" and would pass them out to my friends when they started about the "the Bible says" talk. My son is nearly 20 and I have known of his orientation for over 10 years. Very proud of what he is doing, and pray daily that the BIG angels watch over every one of them, and that their message will melt the hearts of those that need it most.

Love to all,
Mbuzz
;)

[Zerbie]

That's great!!! :D

And welcome.

[mhubicz]

I'm happy to be here, the best thing we non riders can do, is get the word out to anybody who will listen, as to where these riders are going to be and what their message is! Keep them all in our prayers and support them with our contributions.

Thank you and i'll be back soon!
Mbuzz




I do believe people are good, they just need hope, love, respect and to be understood.

(Melissa Etheridege)

[Vanessa White]

So I guess that helps to answer this question Jen. I first came to Soulforce when I was doing some research on resources for LGBT youths. Then, I registered, and started checking out the forums, which I had never done anything with forums ever. I have been away fully for a few weeks, and have missed everyone so much. I keep coming back, because this really is the ONLY place in my current life situation, where I seem to get whatever I need: support, a laugh, love, a new perspective, and such a feeling of family that I have never known of on line. Yet, it feels like it is 3D at its best, except no hugs in reality get to be shared (yet at least!). I stay because in my real life, I really feel so foreign in the way I think from those around me most of the time, and here, I feel like I am part of something that others understand. It is TOTALLY awesome. I feel inspired to do great things. Love to you all, Vanessa :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love:

[marutidas]

I joined and I keep coming back because its like a little oasis from the strak hetero reality of living a small town. I did have a problem with my sexuallity or spirituality, Because I looked at like this, if God didn't love us why did he make so many of us? And why be part of a religion that condemns you for being the why God made you?

But thats all about to change be I am finally moving back to Albuquerque, and this time for good.

I AM SOOO HAPPY TO BE LEAVING STIGLER!!!!
I CAN'T WAIT TO BE HOME AGAIN!!!

Ok now that I have that out of my system:D I feel better.

~~~Maruti Das:flower:

[nmwolfboy]

i'm here because it's such a great, safe place! As a gay man who only recently started moving back into the orbit of organized Christianity, i found the site because i knew about Mel White, and i'd seen news items about Soulforce in relation to Ted Haggard. Once i started poking around the resources and read some of the amazingly insightful posts i was hooked. The people here are awesome, the discussions thought-provoking and healing for me.

[zimnah]

How I got here in the first place is Vanessa's fault! :lol:
She told me about this site, not knowing (I think) that I have really been desperately in need of defining myself for many years now. It was not enough to define myself to my husband...I always felt rather confused that I could be in love with him, yet get crushes on various women who have come into my life at one point or another. It also puzzled me that my husband has been the only male that I feel attracted to, ever. It's been pretty weird, until I came here.
Soulforce is incredible. You all are so open, supportive, funny, absurdly intelligent, from so many varied backgrounds...but most of all, loving and respectful. And I come back because I hope that I can show my own love and respect for each and every one of you in return. This is a haven in the chaos for me.
Besides, I LOVE YOU ALL!!!! :love: :love: :love:
--Dawn

[BenL]

I came here out of curiosity via a link supplied by a friend.

I have stayed and posted because it feels like home. Queer space is important to me. I interact fine in the world ... well, most of the time. :rolleyes: But it's nice to be able to let your guard down once in a while. That's what queer space is for. It's a place where you're accepted for who you are, and all that stuff about who you love doesn't matter as much as that you do love.

Thanks for making me feel at home.

BenL
:rainbow:

[Daniel]

My son is nearly 20 and I have known of his orientation for over 10 years. Very proud of what he is doing, and pray daily that the BIG angels watch over every one of them, and that their message will melt the hearts of those that need it most.


This is so wonderful....and your message warms my heart!

:love:

[tdogg]

HELLOOOOOOO VANESSA!!!!!! Great to hear from you again. Here r some hugs coming your way girlfriend! {{{{{:love: :love: :love: }}}}}

To Mbuzz and all the other new members I missed naming - a HUGE welcome to you all! It is a great place, because of the awesome people here who are such great friends, and because of all the wonderful newbies streaming in. SO GLAD U R ALL HERE!!