Gay People

[Daniel]

Was reading the House and Home section of the NYTimes this morning and found myself fascinated by this story.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/15/garden/15savant.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Brainman, at Rest in His Oasis

By SARAH LYALL
Published: February 15, 2007
BROOMFIELD, England

Nick Cunard for The New York Times
Savant Daniel Tammet is one of fewer than 100 autistic people in the world with preternatural intellectual skills.

Mr. Tammet refers to the English cottage, where he lives with his partner, Neil Mitchell, and his cat, Abby, as an “oasis.”

BULLIED by other children and bewildered by ordinary life, Daniel Tammet spent his early years burrowed deep inside the world of numbers. They were his companions and his solace, living, breathing beings that enveloped him with their shapes and textures and colors.

He still loves them and needs them; he can still do extraordinary things with them, like perform complicated calculations instantly in his head, far beyond the capacity of an ordinary calculator. But Mr. Tammet, who at the age of 25 received a diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome, a high-functioning form of autism, has made a difficult and self-conscious journey out from his own mind.

“I live in two countries, one of the mind and one of the body, one of numbers and one of people,” he said recently. Slight and soft-spoken, dressed in a T-shirt and casual combat-style pants, he sat cross-legged in his living room and sipped a cup of tea, one of several he drinks at set times each day.

Not so long ago, even a conversation like this one would have been prohibitively difficult for Mr. Tammet, now 28. As he describes in his newly published memoir, “Born on a Blue Day: Inside the Extraordinary Mind of an Autistic Savant” (Free Press), he has willed himself to learn what to do. Offer a visitor a drink; look her in the eye; don’t stand in someone else’s space. These are all conscious decision.

[dsdrane]

Wow.

The subject matter is incredibly fascinating in and of itself, but I'm also struck by the absolute matter-of-factness with which the story deals with Daniel Tammet's sexual orientation.

And this from the paper that still referred to us as "homosexuals" as late as the early 90's. (Remember, Daniel?)

David:cool:

[BruceChris]

Most of us have one or more coming out issues, but we may not wish to admit them, and our issue(s) are probably not be something that is obvious to the rest of the world. EX: A person who is in a wheelchair obviously does not have to come out about being disabled, while a very shy person may find it almost impossible to come out, at least without making a real mess of it.

Now by coming out issues, I don't just mean being gay, obviously. I guess I would define having a coming out issue, as being different from the majority and/or different from the Expectations of the majority, in any way that is variously not that obvious or not that acceptable.

O.K. My name is Bruce Chris, and I have mild autism, Aspergers Syndrome. I have scored very high on almost any test I have ever taken, I've spent most of my life either in school, or in a book, I have a college degree, and several tech school certificates, I can't remember ever being called a genius, (but close!) and I have rarely had a good job or a clear place in the world.

Another way of expressing it would be to say that I am extremely intelligent, but not very smart. I am very short on people skills, but among the right people (My Church!) I can learn them. I am also learning to be a Christian, and it is good for me.

[Are you Saved, are you Born Again; I'm sorry, but you are asking the wrong question]

I love the people here, because I can feel that we have a lot in common, most of you are rather smart, I can always edit out a poorly chosen remark, and I don't have to worry about tone of voice, or body language.

It is WONDERFUL to be able to reach out to someone in need, here.

I also like it when I can let off a little steam, usually at the expense of some CC, and I know that that isn't always a very Christian thing to do, but many of us do it at times. (I can just see Peter telling Jesus, in private, "Those Dang Pharisees and Sadducees, they're so dumb, I just can't seem to get through to them". "But hey, please don't write this down")

And hey, I think u-dog would agree with me here. I may be ugly, but I'm not nearly as bad as andrewlittle.

Make a Joyful Noise, And an Occasional Bad Joke Unto The Lord, Bruce Chris

[beat0it]

Daniel,

Thank you so much for posting the link--it is quite a facinating story.

:)

--Lindsey.

[u-dog]

Hey! i never said Andy was ugly. that would be rude. I said "homely" . thats the polite word for "ugly" :lol:

[andrewlittle]

Sometimes, the internet helps people deceive others by letting them paint themselves as something they're not. Other times, it allows people to be who they are honestly and openly, because they don't have to worry about other characteristics or behaviors that others may misconstrue or mis-judge.

It sounds, Bruce, like you are in the latter category, and for that I say "Yes, that's a great thing." While others in my family and friends have things they are tentative about showing the rest of the world (autism, epilepsy, ticks from Parkinsons disease, tourets syndrome), I don't - I am just wierd and quite proud of it. That makes me outrageous, and the others (including you, Bruce) courageous. Somehow, I very much doubt that you're ugly, Bruce - actually I can well magine you as quite beautiful.

Now, as for this:
And hey, I think u-dog would agree with me here. I may be ugly, but I'm not nearly as bad as andrewlittle. andrew, I can get away with that, can't I?

Make a Joyful Noise, And an Occasional Bad Joke Unto The Lord, Bruce Chris

Feel free, anytime. Humor, questionable especially, is one way I tell people that I love them. I perceive there are others here who do the same thing (Dave-dog, Daniel and Keltic come to mind, but there are plenty of others). So I actually take those comments to be affirming and loving. Of course, that could be my own delusions - and I'm perfectly okay with that. I'm either thick-skinned or nuts, and I don't particularly care which.

Of course, then there's U-dog (Dave, David, Aloisis, or whatever alias he's using at any point in time - hmmm, I wonder if he has a different name for each of his truly disturbed personalities - oh, well, we'll never know). You don't want to become like him, Bruce. Beware of him, okay.

I mean, just look at his post:
Hey! i never said Andy was ugly. that would be rude. I said "homely" . thats the polite word for "ugly"
Waffling, artificial politeness and insipidness - none are attractive traits.

When you insult me, Bruce, do it with gusto - stand up and be proud of the humor, really lay it on - that way I feel the love. Don't be like U-dog - he's just tepid in his affection.

[Zerbie]

That was brave, Chris. :love: Well you certainly HAVE been learning social skills, because you are wonderful supportive friend on the forum. I just thought you were a little shy at first. Always glad to see you coming out more.

We have a young family member with Asperger's syndrome. Moods and behaviors moderate very well with a strict gluten-free diet, tho I believe doctor-prescribed meds are also involved.

[BruceChris]

And I think he may have unintentially given me almost as much swinging room. (Somehow, I don't think he's gotten around to what I said about him on his Last thread)

Zerb, thanks for the kind words.

Andrew, whaddya mean by my Avoiding u-dog? I was taking lessons!

P&L, BC

[Zerbie]

Bwah! Didn't notice how I had mis-spelled Asperger's!!!! Gonna go back and edit.

:lol:

[andrewlittle]

And I think he may have unintentially given me almost as much swinging room. (Somehow, I don't think he's gotten around to what I said about him on his Last thread)

Zerb, thanks for the kind words.

Andrew, whaddya mean by my Avoiding u-dog? I was taking lessons!

P&L, BC

I'm just biding my time. Animals don't like attacking when you can see their eyes. Just be patient. Hu Hu Huh HuH Bwah Hah HAH!!

[u-dog]

:rolleyes: Oh Brother !:rolleyes:

[Daniel]

Wow.

The subject matter is incredibly fascinating in and of itself, but I'm also struck by the absolute matter-of-factness with which the story deals with Daniel Tammet's sexual orientation.

And this from the paper that still referred to us as "homosexuals" as late as the early 90's. (Remember, Daniel?)

David:cool:

Yep....this is the same paper that, well into the 90's would not use the word 'gay'. Now we're featured in the wedding/celebration section. And all it took, really, was a change of leadership.

The matter of factness is pretty cool. Though I still write letter's to the editor! Not that long ago, when Mr. Merchant died (filmmakers Merchant & Ivory), the obit neglected to mention that Mr. Ivory was his husband and not merely his business partner- I and probably 30 other people dashed off emails, and by noon, The Times had corrected the error.

And Wow BruceChris! That was some post! Your voice here is warm and encouraging. Your words only further encourage others to be themselves. A good thing.

[Daniel]

Two days in a row! The pages of the NYTimes are starting to turn lavendar!


Public Lives
Married to the Cause, One State at a Time

By ROBIN FINN
Published: February 16, 2007
WHEN he was 13 and growing up in Pittsburgh with his gayness under the radar, his own radar included, Evan Wolfson aggravated his parents by deciding to invite President Richard M. Nixon to his bar mitzvah.

Theirs was not only a Jewish household, but also a Democratic one. Mr. Wolfson, the unmarried powerhouse behind the hyper-vocal Freedom to Marry coalition since 2001, was willing to overlook Mr. Nixon’s partisan flaws in favor of a presidential presence for this very special, very personal occasion, and defiantly mailed the invitation.

The commander in chief did not attend the festivities, but he did send a formal note of congratulations topped by the presidential seal. Even Mr. Wolfson’s parents, whose dream for him involved Ivy League smarts (he obliged with degrees from Yale College and Harvard Law), getting married to a woman (sorry, not in the cards), and becoming the first Jewish president (would being the first gay Jewish president suffice?), found it impressive.

They saved the Nixon note, along with sheaves of patriotic poetry he churned out as a teenager, like a halfhearted homage to Lyndon B. Johnson in 1969, from which Mr. Wolfson, sitting in his Chelsea office beneath portraits of two high-caliber role models, Abraham Lincoln and the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., merrily recites his favorite lines:

He fought for what he thought is the right thing for you,

And so we should realize some credit is due.

Ever the rationalist and moralist, even as a youth.

Mr. Wolfson, who celebrated his 50th birthday and the 10th anniversary of Freedom to Marry Day with a politically charged fund-raiser on Monday night (Lincoln’s birthday), still has the Nixon note, not to mention the Impeach Nixon button he wore a few years later, among his impressive assemblage of memorabilia. His is a well-documented life, imminently memoir-ready even if he fears seeing himself “played by Danny DeVito” should his role in the legal fight for gays to marry — from 1994 to 2001 he ran the Marriage Project while working as a senior staff lawyer for the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund — be reprised on film someday.

“The classic pattern for civil rights advancement in America is patchwork,” he says, “but I see equal marriage rights for gays becoming a nationwide reality over the next 15 to 20 years. I really believe it will happen in my lifetime.”

And he really believes it will happen in New York in the next three years. Gov. Eliot Spitzer could not attend Mr. Wolfson’s party, but he and his wife, Silda Wall Spitzer, Harvard classmates of Mr. Wolfson’s, sent a letter of support for Freedom to Marry. Helping to turn the cause into a state law is on the governor’s agenda this year; nagging the governor about it, Mr. Wolfson hopes, is not going to be necessary.

“But nagging people to do the right thing is not a problem,” he says, “and giving all people the freedom to marry is the right thing.”

Mr. Wolfson read Mr. Spitzer’s letter at the party. The key line? “The bonds of marriage are built upon the affirmed love, trust and commitment of couples and should be a personal choice for all New Yorkers.”

Although several countries, Canada among them, permit gay marriage, in the United States only Massachusetts allows gays to marry. The civil unions approved by Vermont, Connecticut (where a marriage bill was introduced this week) and New Jersey are, in Mr. Wolfson’s opinion, preliminary exercises in a civil rights crusade that has gripped him since he wrote his third-year paper at Harvard on gays and the right to marry.

IN 2004, he wrote a book, “Why Marriage Matters,” in an attempt to generate dialogue with (mainly) heterosexual Americans who don’t realize that civil unions are a parallel alternative, not on an equal footing with marriage.

“One state down, 49 to go,” Mr. Wolfson says of Freedom to Marry’s success rate. “Gay marriage is not what we’re looking for. We’re looking for the legal right for gays to marry. You don’t ask for half a loaf. We don’t need two lines at the clerk’s office when there’s already an institution that works in this country, and it’s called marriage. One of the main protections that come with marriage is inherent in the word: certainly in times of crisis any other word than marriage would not bring the same clarity or impart the same dignity.”

Not that this is about Mr. Wolfson getting hitched. He is ring-less, not even engaged. “Why get engaged,” he says, “if you aren’t allowed to get married?”

Before Harvard, he spent two years with the Peace Corps in Togo in West Africa, and had his first gay relationship. After law school, he was recruited by the Brooklyn district attorney’s office, then run by Elizabeth Holtzman.

He worked as a prosecutor from 1983 to 1988 (and wrote amicus briefs arguing for a ban on racial discrimination in jury selection and the abolition of the marital rape exemption) and, with Ms. Holtzman’s blessing, moonlighted free at Lambda from 1984 to 1988. Which meant he had to “come out” professionally.

With Lambda, he represented James Dale, the ousted Eagle Scout, against the Boy Scouts of America, and participated in Baker v. State, which led to civil unions in Vermont.

Portly, short and baldish are Mr. Wolfson’s physical self-descriptors; banana pudding from the Magnolia Bakery is his vice.

No, he and his significant other for the last five years, Cheng He, a Canadian whose field is molecular biology, are not married, he says, “but we would love the opportunity to have that choice.” So he’s earning it.

[Daniel]

They're ahead of us on the other side of the Atlantic.

http://www.gaycitynews.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=17855971&BRD=2729&PAG=461&dept_id=568864&rfi=6

Dutch Gays Under 16 Join Pride
By: DOUG IRELAND
02/15/2007

Netherlands gay youth under the legal age of consent of 16 won a significant victory last week when Amsterdam Mayor Job Cohen finally gave his approval to a special boat for such youngsters in the annual Canal Pride gay boat parade through the city center's famous waterway, an event that needs a city permit to take place.

The mayor, from the Partij van de Arbeid (PvdA, or Dutch Labor Party), had initially refused permission for the youth boat, according to the national daily newspaper De Volkskrant, expressing doubts about involving "that vulnerable group" in the annual procession. But Cohen changed his mind after meeting with Frank van Dalen, the chairman of COC The Netherlands, the world's oldest LGBT group, founded in 1946.

The special homojongerenboot, or homo youngsters boat, in the traditionally colorful and festive Canal Pride boat parade - to be held this year on August 4 during three days of Pride celebrations and events - will be reserved for youth between the ages of 12 and 16, according to the Dutch national news agency ANP, and the youngsters will be accompanied on the boat by their parents.

The initiative for the boat for underage youngsters came from 14-year-old Danny Hoekzema, a gay youth who campaigned for the idea on his personal Web site.

[tdogg]

Daniel, excellent articles. Thanks for sharing!

BruceChris - you go baby! Thanks for sharing a part of you. The wonderful thing about this place is that we are pretty much a compassionate and accepting group and our scope and experiences are broadened by the unique talents, gifts and characteristics of each and every person who frequents this place (including those with who we may have disagreements). You are a very special and compassionate and bright person and I have been blessed by many things you have shared. I appreciate your trust and openness. God bless you my friend!! :love:

[RainbowL'elly]

BruceChris- thanks for speaking out about yourself- it is wonderful that we can all be so much ourselves here, no matter what it is that we have in our lives that other people might judge us all on. blessed be!

(I can just see Peter telling Jesus, in private, "Those Dang Pharisees and Sadducees, they're so dumb, I just can't seem to get through to them". "But hey, please don't write this down")

honey, read 'lamb- the gospel according to biff' by christopher moore- jesus wanted to bless the wankers, but his friend, biff, told him that probably wasn't something he would want to deliver in his sermon on the mount- it's a humourous book, overall.
http://www.amazon.com/Lamb-Gospel-According-Christs-Childhood/dp/0380813815
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamb:_The_Gospel_According_to_Biff,_Christ's_Child hood_Pal
in-sums for the book.
and here's an interview with the author
http://www.christianitytoday.com/books/features/bccorner/020401.html .

[Lydia]

honey, read 'lamb- the gospel according to biff' by christopher moore- jesus wanted to bless the wankers, but his friend, biff, told him that probably wasn't something he would want to deliver in his sermon on the mount- it's a humourous book, overall.

I second this recommendation.

Amazing book.

[Daniel]

Wayne Bensen has this YouTube video that's really good.

Ex-Gay Marriage Cure:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4M-nFojvH84

[Daniel]

http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003549559

Suze Orman Comes Out!

In the NYTimes magazine this coming Sunday (Feb 26).

Hubby and I watch her frequently and have learned a lot! She's my kind of gal: gets right to the point and tells it like it is.

I friend who has been in San Francisco saw Suze and her girlfriend a few years ago in a swanky gay place. I'm just glad she's not being shy about it anymore.


'NYT' SUNDAY PREVIEW: Suze Orman Reveals She is the '55-year-old Virgin'

By E&P Staff

Published: February 23, 2007 2:20 PM ET
NEW YORK In an interview for The New York Times Magazine this coming Sunday, financial guru and TV host Suze Orman gets on Deborah Solomon's case for not looking out for her own money, partly because "you are a woman." This inspires Solomon to ask Orman if she is married.

Orman says she "has a relationship with life," so Solomon presses her, and Suze then reveals that her "life partner" is Kathy Travis and, "We're going on seven years. I have never been with a man in my whole life. I'm still a 55-year-old virgin."

Orman says they'd like to get married, and both "have millions of dollars in our name. It's killing me that upon my death, K.T. is going to lose 50 percent of everything I have to estate taxes. Or vice versa."

Pressed again, she says that estimates that she is worth $25 million are "pretty close."

She says she has about a million dollars in the stock exchange, because if she loses it all "I don't personally care."

[Daniel]

This seems the best place to place the following news item...

http://blogs.edgenewengland.com/davidgoulart


Homophobic Harassment Force Gay Couple to Flee Canadian Town

Terry and Ryan Hamilton, a gay couple who were living in Bothwell, Ontario say they were forced to leave town and move to Chatham after enduring "six months as targets of blatant gay bashing and constant harassment" according to the Chatham Daily News.

The couple say they had "die fags" spray-painted on their front door, plants uprooted, and lawn furniture smashed. A local cashier refused to serve them because they were gay but wouldn't talk to the paper "for legal reasons". Ryan Hamilton was threatened by a man with a pipe and pursued until he was able to reach a farmhouse and call police, he says.

The paper reports: "Most of the abuse, they believe, was at the hands of a handful of people."

One night in particular, when there was a blackout, stands out in their memory: "They said people were running around their house, punching the windows, throwing rocks and screaming slurs. 'We figured they were coming through the window that night,' Terry said. 'That was the scariest night of our lives.' He said the people were yelling 'die faggots' and at one point someone spray painted the message on the house. Terry and Ryan were huddled inside, armed with a rake and a lawn hoe. The Hamiltons said they called police and when an officer finally arrived, he wasn't sympathetic. Ryan said the officer asked them what they wanted him to do about the spray paint before pointing out that 'I have a community to protect.' Residents of Bothwell are familiar with the Hamiltons and what they were going through. However, there doesn't seem to be much sympathy for them. 'I think they made a lot of their own problems,' said one woman, who didn't wish to be identified. 'They didn't just stay there and live like a normal couple.'"

One man the Daily News spoke with said he liked the couple but that they brought on the trouble themselves: ""They were a nice set of guys. They were all about their gay rights and that. They didn't have to keep on harping on it. They were trying to force themselves too much."

Chatham-Kent Victim Services assisted the couple in moving. The Hamiltons are considering leal action against the grocery store and law enforcement.

They brought the trouble on themselves? Didn't live like a 'normal' couple? That's rich. Yeah....if only those gay people would shut up and stay in the closet...we wouldn't harrass them.

The refrain of homophobes.

News like this sets my hair on fire. And you know what? This town isn't that far from the decidedly liberal Toronto. Yes- Canada has gay marriage (got married there myself), but they have their own brand of bigots, just like we do. :mad:

Oh Canada!

Having laws which accord us our rights is one thing. It's another matter changing hearts and minds. I guess this is why places like Soulforce exists- to counter the thinking that brings about this kind of homophobic reaction. For when you uncover what lies behind such actions, my sense is that religious conservatism/fundamentalism is at work.

[Vanessa White]

:mad: Yeah, yeah, keep our place, stay in line, play by the rules that the homophobes set, accept whatever they feel entitled to "allow" us to have or throw our way. Why can't we all be "normal" to ease their discomfort? This is what we have in store, I believe, on the front lines of gay equality, marriage, rights, and embracing understanding, is people who just think we have "gone too far", that we only have a right to what THEY say we have a right to.

As long as it is not in my backyard.

As long as you keep it behind closed doors.

As long as you don't flaunt it.

As long as you accept whatever rights we say you can have.

As long as you act normal.

It all just makes me sick with disgust at how little people get that we are people, people with minds and hearts and feelings and souls and deserve respect and understanding, not tolerance that is veiling this rage, this animosity.

There is so much work ahead of us, all of us.........:pray::love:

[keltic63]

HRC just sent out an email urging their members to contact their senators, which I did. In addition to the form letter the HRC provided, I added a little more. I stated that every morning, I check my car for vandalism, and that I take a look at the front of my house because I fear we may be a target for being a gay couple in a straight neighborhood. While hate crimes laws don't prevent us from being a target, the laws will certainly provide penalties for the homophobes who attempt to do us harm, and may deter those who view us as easy and acceptible targets of their hatred.

[Zerbie]

Aw man. Yeah, it is logical that changing a legal statute isn't going to change societal perceptions and behaviors. But that quote from the guy about the couple going on "about their gay rights" and that they didn't have to "keep harping on it" - that is just so cut and dried vicious homophobia it makes my head spin.

I am particularly concerned about the reported attitude of the police in this situation. Having a community to protect?? Well - DUHH!!!

I hope that they DO pursue legal actions against the police for that one. That is egregious neglect of duty and it paints the victims as perpetrators. :mad:

[Zerbie]

I stated that every morning, I check my car for vandalism, and that I take a look at the front of my house because I fear we may be a target for being a gay couple in a straight neighborhood. .

Geez! You do that, Steve?
:(:(:(

It makes me so angry to think of you living like that. :mad:

[Daniel]

Steve- One reason I came back East after I taught elementary/high school in the fine state of Missouri is that, during my second year of teaching (high school), my car was scraped up with a key- and the word fag written in tiny letters. I knew the kid who did it too- but couldn't prove it. Man....I got out of there as fast as I could. I could see what was gonna happen next if I stuck around. Graduate school looked mightly fine at that point. This was 1985. Know what? I doubt that things have changed in that small rural town by the name of Willard. Still gives me the willies thinking about it.

Living in a rural area is altogether different than living in the City...

[Vanessa White]

We have never been openly targeted or harassed, but about five years ago something happened that got our attention. We live in a small town, on a street that is not heavily populated. About five years ago around Halloween, someone had spray painted a pentagram and a swastika in the road in front of our house. We never determined that it had to do with us, but we certainly worried that it did.

It still chills me to think about it.......:'(

[antonyh]

It sure would be interesting to poll the Soulforce community and find out where they don't feel safe in this country. I'm sorry that all of you have to experience this :(

Thanks for starting this thread Daniel. It is an interesting read.

[antonyh]

Steve- One reason I came back East after I taught elementary/high school in the fine state of Missouri is that, during my second year of teaching (high school), my car was scraped up with a key- and the word fag written in tiny letters. I knew the kid who did it too- but couldn't prove it. Man....I got out of there as fast as I could. I could see what was gonna happen next if I stuck around. Graduate school looked mightly fine at that point. This was 1985. Know what? I doubt that things have changed in that small rural town by the name of Willard. Still gives me the willies thinking about it.

Living in a rural area is altogether different than living in the City...

This story blows me away. How many of us have to make restricted choices about where we live because of bigotry and homophobia. I know that I have left places because I did not feel safe at all.

[tdogg]

It certainly does make one think twice before being COMPLETELY open everywhere. Depending on where we are, sometimes my girl is comfortable holding hands, giving or getting a brief kiss. And sometimes not for anything.

On occasion, I wonder about the newer couple living across from us. They aren't too friendly, the guy spends a lot of time hanging out at his work truck (he smokes), and stares at us a lot. Just stares, never waves, never says hi. It's very eerie and once in a while it's a little scary.

Even short trips out and about Sacramento, depending on where we are, I have to occasionally tell myself it will be ok. And, I travel a lot for work and again, depending on where I am, it crosses my mind not to be TOO out everywhere.

I'm pretty out there, but if I'm not brave enough to be OUT there all the time, how is that helping the cause?? Sacramento is getting better, but it's no SF or NY yet...

[Vanessa White]

The part of "how can I help the cause if I am not out ALL THE TIME?" I think we need to not do that to ourselves, that self-depricating attitude. After all, we are only human, and we are also concerned with our physical, and emotional safety. I also feel like it is all part of evolution in terms of our advocacy and activism. I am certainly concerned for my own safety, and definitely the safety of my family, however, I become less concerned as time goes by with my safety, not because I want to be vulnerable to harm....... I guess I really cannot explain it as to why I feel less concerned. A year ago, when considering becoming involved in The Right to Serve campaign, I was afraid of harm, and afraid of getting arrested. All I can say is, I don't have that intense fear anymore. I won't be wreckless, and I know that I need to have full awareness of my surroundings, but I AM NO LONGER AFRAID. Sometimes, I think that that comes from faith, but also comes from my evolving into a fully held belief that we deserve all the goodness that we fight for, for ourselves and for our community. The more deserving I feel, deserving of the goodness, the more that I know that I don't deserve the crap...... :love::love:

[tdogg]

I hear ya Vanessa. For me, it's not really fear so much. It's more of a stop and go hmmmm, toss around a few thoughts and get on with it. For my partner, it's more of a level of experience. She's been out much longer, she's experienced a little more harrassment, plus way back when it wasn't quite as nice as it is now.

Glad you don't fear, we need more fearless role models!!!:love:

[pnggrad79]

Most of us have one or more coming out issues, but we may not wish to admit them, and our issue(s) are probably not be something that is obvious to the rest of the world. EX: A person who is in a wheelchair obviously does not have to come out about being disabled, while a very shy person may find it almost impossible to come out, at least without making a real mess of it.

Now by coming out issues, I don't just mean being gay, obviously. I guess I would define having a coming out issue, as being different from the majority and/or different from the Expectations of the majority, in any way that is variously not that obvious or not that acceptable.

O.K. My name is Bruce Chris, and I have mild autism, Aspergers Syndrome. I have scored very high on almost any test I have ever taken, I've spent most of my life either in school, or in a book, I have a college degree, and several tech school certificates, I can't remember ever being called a genius, (but close!) and I have rarely had a good job or a clear place in the world.

Another way of expressing it would be to say that I am extremely intelligent, but not very smart. I am very short on people skills, but among the right people (My Church!) I can learn them. I am also learning to be a Christian, and it is good for me.

[Are you Saved, are you Born Again; I'm sorry, but you are asking the wrong question]

I love the people here, because I can feel that we have a lot in common, most of you are rather smart, I can always edit out a poorly chosen remark, and I don't have to worry about tone of voice, or body language.

It is WONDERFUL to be able to reach out to someone in need, here.

I also like it when I can let off a little steam, usually at the expense of some CC, and I know that that isn't always a very Christian thing to do, but many of us do it at times. (I can just see Peter telling Jesus, in private, "Those Dang Pharisees and Sadducees, they're so dumb, I just can't seem to get through to them". "But hey, please don't write this down")

And hey, I think u-dog would agree with me here. I may be ugly, but I'm not nearly as bad as andrewlittle.

Make a Joyful Noise, And an Occasional Bad Joke Unto The Lord, Bruce Chris

BC,

My 7 year old nephew was diagnosed with Asberger's. He is able to merely hear a piece of music and then immediately go to a piano and pick it out by ear. I would say he is mildly gifted (tongue in cheek). Of course, some of it is genetic. His grandfather was a composer and his father is a music minister and has a gift for all kinds of music and composing. So I don't know how much of it is genetic and how much of it is just gifted.

I am glad you seem to have overcome this diagnosis, it gives me hope that my nephew can make it through. His mother, my sister, says she sometimes wishes he was never born. I think what a cruel thing to say. He can't control it. He didn't ask to be born with that. Who does?

[Daniel]

Time for a bump.

This thread came to mind after I surfed over to Towleroad this morning and saw the attached pic which won a World Press Photo Award.

Photo of Gay Hungarian Couple Wins World Press Photo Award

http://www.towleroad.com/2008/02/photo-of-gay-hu.html

God. It made me cry.

The backstory. My heritage is Hungarian. My missionary brother and his wife has been living in Budapest for a few years now and have (so I am told) succeeded in starting a Bible School there. They are conservative fundamentalists. We're not exactly on speaking terms at the moment.

The Photo of the Year is of a soldier in Iraq. Not a pretty picture either.

So much suffering. So much death. So much loss. My heart breaks for this couple....