amy
02-15-2007, 12:04 PM
DO I have a story!!!
Ok so I wrote the post My Parents are coming to town!!! in desperate need of help. I got a repy within like 15mins. THANKS Tdogg!!! I really needed to hear what you had to say!
After I read only one post...I had to leave the library (where I use the computers) (I read the others the next day and thank you, they were so encouraging.) and get my girlfriend a Valentine's gift. We had planned to go out to eat but I wanted something even better for her. So I asked God, and He showed me my heart, I almost started crying in Walmart it was so beautiful...I saw how much I love Steph (my girlfriend) (that is me and her in the picture, I have blonde hair she has dark brown, in Profile) Anyways...I realized that I really really am gay and I am going to spend the rest of my life with this woman...So I decided to get her a promise ring :D :love: I wanted the very best but I also had a limit $$$. So I got her some flowers and a bear to give to her right when I got home. But then at supper, I planned to give her another bear(she loves bears) with a ring tied to the bow. Every thing went beautifully! (even if we had to wait for an hour 1/2 before eating :o
I know that we are committed to each other and we had so much peace! It was wonderful!
SO THEN....(I got a gift card as a tip where I work a couple nights ago, and steph and I were so excited that like $25 were on it, where I work that is like a HUGE tip) <--we were so excited that I got the gift card that we decided to share our good news with our mothers. So she called her mom and then I called mine. That is when my mom said that her, my dad, and brother were infact coming to town!
After we hung up, Steph and I started talking about how we don't want to hide anymore. I had printed off the one post I got (from Tdogg) and I read it to her. We agreed that if I wanted to tell my mom that would be ok but if I don't, I wouldn't have to.
SO...I called my mom and we talked about nothing for about an hour...then I wiggled my way around for awhile and finally I told her I am Gay!
OH MY GOSH!!!! I DID IT!!! I was SO Nervous!!! My hands where sweaty, my mouth was dry, my body was shaking but ya know what I thought....these feelings are just feelings and they are going to be there now or later...
At first...I couldn't tell her...I was just so scared...but then I asked God to help me and He told me, "Amy, you have nothing to be ashamed of, you aren't doing anything wrong! And even if your mom rejects you, I will never reject you!"
That was all I needed...I said, "Mom, I called to tell you that I'm gay."
Silence.......
I told her "I don't want to dicuss anything right now I just wanted to tell you because you guys are coming and I do not want to hide anymore." Then I told her that I could go to my sisters so they don't have to come to my house and she agreed rather abruptely. (but I probably won't cuz I can't even think of seeing them right now)
She said some mean things but the greatest part is...I don't understand how she heard me...like I don't understand her being upset because being gay IS NOT wrong! and God does NOT condemn me.
I'm SO excited! I don't have to see them now :D and i don't have to lie anymore.
I know she'll want to dicuss it later and I know it is a process but I'm just going to receive the relief now. When those battles come...I'll be ready then, not now...I'm not going to force them to come, I'm going to wait for them to come to me rather than me going to them. In God's timing, I will be ready.
Thank you for all your support. I know that I needed it so very much. In knowing that I'm not alone, I feel so much better and safer and able to do things that I wouldn't think possible if I were alone.
Lots of Love
Amy
Ok so I wrote the post My Parents are coming to town!!! in desperate need of help. I got a repy within like 15mins. THANKS Tdogg!!! I really needed to hear what you had to say!
After I read only one post...I had to leave the library (where I use the computers) (I read the others the next day and thank you, they were so encouraging.) and get my girlfriend a Valentine's gift. We had planned to go out to eat but I wanted something even better for her. So I asked God, and He showed me my heart, I almost started crying in Walmart it was so beautiful...I saw how much I love Steph (my girlfriend) (that is me and her in the picture, I have blonde hair she has dark brown, in Profile) Anyways...I realized that I really really am gay and I am going to spend the rest of my life with this woman...So I decided to get her a promise ring :D :love: I wanted the very best but I also had a limit $$$. So I got her some flowers and a bear to give to her right when I got home. But then at supper, I planned to give her another bear(she loves bears) with a ring tied to the bow. Every thing went beautifully! (even if we had to wait for an hour 1/2 before eating :o
I know that we are committed to each other and we had so much peace! It was wonderful!
SO THEN....(I got a gift card as a tip where I work a couple nights ago, and steph and I were so excited that like $25 were on it, where I work that is like a HUGE tip) <--we were so excited that I got the gift card that we decided to share our good news with our mothers. So she called her mom and then I called mine. That is when my mom said that her, my dad, and brother were infact coming to town!
After we hung up, Steph and I started talking about how we don't want to hide anymore. I had printed off the one post I got (from Tdogg) and I read it to her. We agreed that if I wanted to tell my mom that would be ok but if I don't, I wouldn't have to.
SO...I called my mom and we talked about nothing for about an hour...then I wiggled my way around for awhile and finally I told her I am Gay!
OH MY GOSH!!!! I DID IT!!! I was SO Nervous!!! My hands where sweaty, my mouth was dry, my body was shaking but ya know what I thought....these feelings are just feelings and they are going to be there now or later...
At first...I couldn't tell her...I was just so scared...but then I asked God to help me and He told me, "Amy, you have nothing to be ashamed of, you aren't doing anything wrong! And even if your mom rejects you, I will never reject you!"
That was all I needed...I said, "Mom, I called to tell you that I'm gay."
Silence.......
I told her "I don't want to dicuss anything right now I just wanted to tell you because you guys are coming and I do not want to hide anymore." Then I told her that I could go to my sisters so they don't have to come to my house and she agreed rather abruptely. (but I probably won't cuz I can't even think of seeing them right now)
She said some mean things but the greatest part is...I don't understand how she heard me...like I don't understand her being upset because being gay IS NOT wrong! and God does NOT condemn me.
I'm SO excited! I don't have to see them now :D and i don't have to lie anymore.
I know she'll want to dicuss it later and I know it is a process but I'm just going to receive the relief now. When those battles come...I'll be ready then, not now...I'm not going to force them to come, I'm going to wait for them to come to me rather than me going to them. In God's timing, I will be ready.
Thank you for all your support. I know that I needed it so very much. In knowing that I'm not alone, I feel so much better and safer and able to do things that I wouldn't think possible if I were alone.
Lots of Love
Amy