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amy
02-15-2007, 12:04 PM
DO I have a story!!!
Ok so I wrote the post My Parents are coming to town!!! in desperate need of help. I got a repy within like 15mins. THANKS Tdogg!!! I really needed to hear what you had to say!
After I read only one post...I had to leave the library (where I use the computers) (I read the others the next day and thank you, they were so encouraging.) and get my girlfriend a Valentine's gift. We had planned to go out to eat but I wanted something even better for her. So I asked God, and He showed me my heart, I almost started crying in Walmart it was so beautiful...I saw how much I love Steph (my girlfriend) (that is me and her in the picture, I have blonde hair she has dark brown, in Profile) Anyways...I realized that I really really am gay and I am going to spend the rest of my life with this woman...So I decided to get her a promise ring :D :love: I wanted the very best but I also had a limit $$$. So I got her some flowers and a bear to give to her right when I got home. But then at supper, I planned to give her another bear(she loves bears) with a ring tied to the bow. Every thing went beautifully! (even if we had to wait for an hour 1/2 before eating :o
I know that we are committed to each other and we had so much peace! It was wonderful!
SO THEN....(I got a gift card as a tip where I work a couple nights ago, and steph and I were so excited that like $25 were on it, where I work that is like a HUGE tip) <--we were so excited that I got the gift card that we decided to share our good news with our mothers. So she called her mom and then I called mine. That is when my mom said that her, my dad, and brother were infact coming to town!
After we hung up, Steph and I started talking about how we don't want to hide anymore. I had printed off the one post I got (from Tdogg) and I read it to her. We agreed that if I wanted to tell my mom that would be ok but if I don't, I wouldn't have to.
SO...I called my mom and we talked about nothing for about an hour...then I wiggled my way around for awhile and finally I told her I am Gay!
OH MY GOSH!!!! I DID IT!!! I was SO Nervous!!! My hands where sweaty, my mouth was dry, my body was shaking but ya know what I thought....these feelings are just feelings and they are going to be there now or later...
At first...I couldn't tell her...I was just so scared...but then I asked God to help me and He told me, "Amy, you have nothing to be ashamed of, you aren't doing anything wrong! And even if your mom rejects you, I will never reject you!"
That was all I needed...I said, "Mom, I called to tell you that I'm gay."

Silence.......

I told her "I don't want to dicuss anything right now I just wanted to tell you because you guys are coming and I do not want to hide anymore." Then I told her that I could go to my sisters so they don't have to come to my house and she agreed rather abruptely. (but I probably won't cuz I can't even think of seeing them right now)

She said some mean things but the greatest part is...I don't understand how she heard me...like I don't understand her being upset because being gay IS NOT wrong! and God does NOT condemn me.
I'm SO excited! I don't have to see them now :D and i don't have to lie anymore.

I know she'll want to dicuss it later and I know it is a process but I'm just going to receive the relief now. When those battles come...I'll be ready then, not now...I'm not going to force them to come, I'm going to wait for them to come to me rather than me going to them. In God's timing, I will be ready.

Thank you for all your support. I know that I needed it so very much. In knowing that I'm not alone, I feel so much better and safer and able to do things that I wouldn't think possible if I were alone.

Lots of Love
Amy

Zerbie
02-15-2007, 01:57 PM
:eek: Whoa - what a humongous Valentine's Day you had - full of events!!!! :D

First off - CONGRATULATIONS on your romantic Valentine's Day and commitment (engagement, yes?). That sounds beautiful - I would have enjoyed being a fly on your wall last evening when you gave her the bear. :D :love: :love: :love:

And also, congrats on having the courage to be so open with your mother. I am certainly praying that the family situation resolves so that you can all be closer. Your mom now has her own "coming out" to deal with, and her own journey to take with regard to understanding.

It sounds like you were really tapping into something during that conversation last night - a lot of courage and strength. I'm sorry she said some hurtful things. God loves unconditionally. You are right about that. I pray your family will understand that and that your relationship with them will continue to improve with time. But now, the air is cleared and the conversation can start, someday when your mom is willing to sit and listen, and think about things in a way that is new for her.

Well. That's one Valentine's Day you will never forget. Ya trumped mine. I cooked beans and noodles in the slow-cooker, hubby sent a bouquet, (I gave him a card covered in heart stickers,) then we - FINALLY! - dismantled the (artificial) Christmas tree. :p Thank goodness we had the night off, or it would have been up til March! :lol:

BruceChris
02-15-2007, 03:27 PM
Think of all that you accomplished, or that you did right:

You've made it past the one really critical item. You got to schmooze a lot up front, to help get back in touch emotionally, before you pushed that big button.

You didn't have to do it face to face, and then have to consider having to listen to their very poorly processed feelings all at once, and/or for a long time. You both got to disconnect, and have time to yourselves, to process things, before you do get back in touch.

You, or she get a certain amount of choice as to when, and how you do get in touch next. If you send her a letter (Send yours first, so you can offer love, and not judgement) start out by telling her that you love her, and then you can decide what to tell her, you can fill in anything you might have left out, and she does not have to, and cannot answer you immediately.

Somehow, I think the most important thing that you have done, is that you have managed to give everyone a lot more time and space to deal with this!

Congratulations, keep us posted and hey, I wanna come and visit, just so I can HUG you two.

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

keltic63
02-15-2007, 04:32 PM
Hooray! You're off the fence and out of the closet! what a story for Valentine's day!

you will find now, no matter what is said, that the truth has indeed set you free!


{{{{{{Hugs all Around}}}}}}

TigerXero
02-15-2007, 06:54 PM
Are you sure you didn't shock your mom too much. That might have been something better to have told her in person. Idk; just a thought.

tdogg
02-15-2007, 07:30 PM
Amy

I'm glad my post helped you. My mom was actually pretty sweet about it at first, then after she had some time to think it over (and talk to my aunt who sides with those opposed to homosexuality), her issues started. It did make the initial outing a little easier.

Zerbie is right, now the process has started, everyone will need some time to mull things over. Just be patient and loving to your mom (and the others), she will need your understanding and compassion. I ended up giving my stepmom a little TOO much time, but in the end, a chance meeting with me and my partner at a restaurant put it back in the front of her thoughts. Still not much contact, she is still very unhappy about it, but I believe the processing has begun again, a bit.

Amy, just be strong and know you have support in your partner and here on the forums. Good for you girl! Isn't it amazing, the huge burden that is lifted when one finally is finally out??!!

Congrats on a wonderful Valentine's Day and on your commitment to your partner. Thinking bout you!

T

Daniel
02-15-2007, 08:03 PM
Amy- You give courage and strength to all who read your words! Many blessing to you and your honey!

andrewlittle
02-15-2007, 08:24 PM
You both mustered up more courage than I think I could in your situation. God bless you both. And I pray that your families recognizes the love and strength that this took. I am in awe.

To think - I haven't even had the guts to tell my mom that I'm growing my hair out again. You both make me feel like a real chicken. Cluck! Cluck! Cluck!

BruceChris
02-15-2007, 08:48 PM
We will know that things have really gotten back to normal, when I start to see you guys fighting over who has the most stuffed animals (Yeah, there's two of you, but Zerb's been doing it longer) :eek: :lol: :lol:

P&L, BC

Zerbie
02-16-2007, 12:08 AM
We will know that things have really gotten back to normal, when I start to see you guys fighting over who has the most stuffed animals (Yeah, there's two of you, but Zerb's been doing it longer) :eek: :lol: :lol:

P&L, BC

:lol:

Oh yeah, I *would* zero in on the teddy bear detail, wouldn't I?

Hubby just bought me another little bear 2 days ago - well, I saw her at the store and started cuddling her, so hubby said "Oh, I see we have another family member coming home with us."

So with that - Amy, how many bears do you and Steph have?

scott snedeker
02-16-2007, 12:23 AM
My heart leaped for you when I read your post! God! I love your story of freedom! The release must be tremendous!

love is strength and connection to the spirit within!

I'm a little jealous because you can come out only once to your folks. It felt so powerful to me that I want to relive it! And I do a little from reading your story!

I agree with brucechris. Send a letter. (See my post on your previous thread)

You are now your own woman! You have seized the entitlement to love and happiness that you were meant to live! I rejoice with you!

HarmlessEccentric
02-16-2007, 04:58 AM
Congratulations! The hardest part is over now...

marutidas
02-16-2007, 09:12 AM
I am happy you found your way through trails for now, but the true battle is yet to come.I wish you the best.

Maruti Das:flower::applause::love:

RainbowL'elly
02-17-2007, 01:51 AM
i am so happy for you- talk about one hell of a day!

you two are so adorable in your picture- congratulations on all that you have accomplished together and blessings to your bright futures!