Pathfinder
02-28-2007, 09:40 PM
Probably the best thing that happened to me today was having to listen to a rebroadcast of Larry Flick in the Morning on Sirius OutQ because I was reminded I hadn't visited the SoulForce web-site as I told myself I'd do the first time I heard about the Equality Rides.....
So, here I am! I guess you'd like to know a little bit about me..... Okay, here goes.
I returned home to NC from Atlanta in the summer of 2005 after finally coming to the realization that my 6 year relationship was not working (and if the truth were really told --- had not been working for nearly 4 years). It was a rather traumatic time for me. At 44, I was completely broke, underemployed, and totally unhappy with where I was and where it seemed I was going (which was essentially nowhere). Over the course of the year that followed, I began trying to find me, the person I had somehow lost in a relationship that never should have been.
I have reconnected with the person I was, the spunky individual with a will of her own and a dream to somehow make a difference. In January, I began Graduate School and plan to become a high school history teacher. To a certain extent, I enjoy my life in small town NC, but there is something missing..... Obviously, there is no open GLBT network in town --- too many right-wing conservatives lurking in the bushes. And while this small town is located less than an hour away from the state's largest metropolitan area, Charlotte, the GLBT Community there has been less than welcoming. So, I began trying to meet people on the internet. I never thought it possible, but I met someone in May of last year! She's wonderful! We share a great many things in common. She's slightly younger than me, but that doesn't bother her and it certainly doesn't bother me. She's also in graduate school, but at a different university and in a different program.
However, there are several problems..... One is the distance between us. She lives 170 miles to the west and while my brother also lives there and I have a place to stay when I visit, it's not always easy to see one another. The second is much deeper. While with her a few weeks ago, she confided in me that she's afraid of intimacy and losing control. It seems that every woman she's ever been involved with has been pretty stereotypical. You know the one I mean. The one that arrives driving a U-haul for the second date? Well, anyway, here I was, wanting desperately to be with her, wanting us to explore our relationship in a deeper way and she was putting up all the warning signs! Suddenly, I found myself in a new situation. I really wanted to be with her and I expressed this to her, but I told her I could wait; that if she did not feel the same, I would get out of the car, go into my brother's and we'd continue as before. I left the decision up to her. Sitting in her little car, I came to the realization that I don't want to mess this up. It's too good a thing.....
Well, to cut to the chase as they say, she overcame her fear and we spent a most wonderful night together, waking up early the following morning and having breakfast and spending a couple of hours together before parting company. After returning home I wanted to reassure her that I would never pressure her, that we would take things as they come. She responded that "taking things as they come" has never been easy for her, but that she wanted to try. So, while I hate the geographic distance between us, I feel that only good can come from our friendship that has grown and continues to grow.
I'm not sure why I've gone on so long. I guess I just had to tell someone. My best friend lives in Florida and I haven't had a chance to talk to her in several weeks. Well, thanks for listening!!! Have a wonderful day!
So, here I am! I guess you'd like to know a little bit about me..... Okay, here goes.
I returned home to NC from Atlanta in the summer of 2005 after finally coming to the realization that my 6 year relationship was not working (and if the truth were really told --- had not been working for nearly 4 years). It was a rather traumatic time for me. At 44, I was completely broke, underemployed, and totally unhappy with where I was and where it seemed I was going (which was essentially nowhere). Over the course of the year that followed, I began trying to find me, the person I had somehow lost in a relationship that never should have been.
I have reconnected with the person I was, the spunky individual with a will of her own and a dream to somehow make a difference. In January, I began Graduate School and plan to become a high school history teacher. To a certain extent, I enjoy my life in small town NC, but there is something missing..... Obviously, there is no open GLBT network in town --- too many right-wing conservatives lurking in the bushes. And while this small town is located less than an hour away from the state's largest metropolitan area, Charlotte, the GLBT Community there has been less than welcoming. So, I began trying to meet people on the internet. I never thought it possible, but I met someone in May of last year! She's wonderful! We share a great many things in common. She's slightly younger than me, but that doesn't bother her and it certainly doesn't bother me. She's also in graduate school, but at a different university and in a different program.
However, there are several problems..... One is the distance between us. She lives 170 miles to the west and while my brother also lives there and I have a place to stay when I visit, it's not always easy to see one another. The second is much deeper. While with her a few weeks ago, she confided in me that she's afraid of intimacy and losing control. It seems that every woman she's ever been involved with has been pretty stereotypical. You know the one I mean. The one that arrives driving a U-haul for the second date? Well, anyway, here I was, wanting desperately to be with her, wanting us to explore our relationship in a deeper way and she was putting up all the warning signs! Suddenly, I found myself in a new situation. I really wanted to be with her and I expressed this to her, but I told her I could wait; that if she did not feel the same, I would get out of the car, go into my brother's and we'd continue as before. I left the decision up to her. Sitting in her little car, I came to the realization that I don't want to mess this up. It's too good a thing.....
Well, to cut to the chase as they say, she overcame her fear and we spent a most wonderful night together, waking up early the following morning and having breakfast and spending a couple of hours together before parting company. After returning home I wanted to reassure her that I would never pressure her, that we would take things as they come. She responded that "taking things as they come" has never been easy for her, but that she wanted to try. So, while I hate the geographic distance between us, I feel that only good can come from our friendship that has grown and continues to grow.
I'm not sure why I've gone on so long. I guess I just had to tell someone. My best friend lives in Florida and I haven't had a chance to talk to her in several weeks. Well, thanks for listening!!! Have a wonderful day!