Offense

[tpdncr4christ]

So my friends and I always have a good time, its natural other wise they wouldn't be my friends. We make fun of everyone in the group and such, about stupid things and the like, we have inside jokes, and regular teenager stuff. I never really mind when they crack a gay joke, because usually its pretty funny, and even I make fun of my gayness sometimes.

The other day, someone said something that was actually offensive, comparing gay's to hitler in some not so nice way. Everyone laughed, and I just kinda sat there. :'( It really wasn't that funny. How do I let them know it's offenisive, without seeming like a killjoy?

Any suggestions?

[scott snedeker]

A tough one.

Sometimes it seems like a choice between being real and being one of the peers, but it usually isn't.

Your true friends care about your feelings and would not want to make you feel bad if they knew that what they said would do that.

Since you want your friends to know the real you then you have to tell them when something hurts your feelings, because they can't read your mind. You might try.

"I know you didn't mean to but what you said just then really made me feel bad" After they respond tell them " Thanks! I feel better! You guys really are the best." and maybe follow with a quick joke like:

"Hey guys I want you to be honest......Do you know why there are onlly 139 beans in Irish bean soup?"

(no)

[in your best Irish accent] Beacuse if ya added one more 'twould be two-fo(a)rty darlin' !" :lol:

Or some other joke that doesn't sound like an old fart [like me] telling it.:shifty:

[Diane Vera]

The other day, someone said something that was actually offensive, comparing gay's to hitler in some not so nice way. Everyone laughed, and I just kinda sat there. :'( It really wasn't that funny. How do I let them know it's offenisive, without seeming like a killjoy?

How exactly were gays being compared to Hitler? If you can let us know exactly what was said, this might help in brainstorming a good response.

[u-dog]

Austin,

Even with years of experience its hard to find the exact location of the dividing line between a good jabbing barb between friends and a joke thats in really bad taste. So its not surprising that your friend stepped over it. don't judge him too harshly. I would suggest just taking him aside, alone and letting him know that what he said was hurtful and why... assuring him that you know that he was not trying to hurt you. An encounter like that, if handled sensitively, can be the occasion of a deepening of your friendship as well as a deepening of his understanding of "gay sensibilities". Look at it as an opportunity to educate.

Dave

[tpdncr4christ]

was:

"What's the difference between gay's and Hitler?"

the answer was:

"45 degrees."

They then did the "hail hitler" arm motion, and then the "fag solute."

[u-dog]

I don't get it.:confused:

[WillySF]

I think I get it. I think it's kind of silly.

[u-dog]

Forty five degree angle of the Wrist? I get it. yup... pretty silly. It would work better as a joke if it was "Whats the difference between Nazi's and gay people?" its still silly... but it at least makes sense.