Hi, I'm Syd

[sydfinkle]

Hey.. My name is Sydney and I'm a 19 year old college sophomore at Linfield College... I'm a lesbian, and I used to be a Christian. I have had many bad experiences with people who were in my church back home... It made me stop wanting to attend and be a part of that community.

I've always been told that you can't be gay and Christian.. I've been told by people who called themselves my friends that I'm going to hell... It's nice to see that there are websites out there like this one that promote tolerance and understanding. There are so few places out there where GLBTQ people are discriminated against and persecuted...

I'm going to college right now to become a Religious Studies major with an Anthropology minor. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it, but I want to enter the peace corps after graduation, and possibly get into gay activism or something later on in life.

I am a big nerd, and I love to play computer games, read fanfiction, watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer (and all Joss Whedon programs), Stargate Atlantis/SG1, and Star Wars. I write poetry, and for awhile I was trying to write a book.. It didn't work so well. ;)

Anywho... I'm kinda just rambling now, so I'll leave it off here... I'm sure you didn't need my life story.. lol.. Peace.

[andrewlittle]

We love life stories. Of course, that doesn't mean you HAVE to cater to our latent curiosity.

Welcome to Soulforce. Be assured, it is entirely possible to be gay and Christian, or gay and Buddhist, or gay and ... well, you get the picture. It does take some effort to undo the damage of well-meaning (???) Christian churches that has been done to many of God's children, however. You will find many here who are going through the process.

For now, please be welcome.

See ya around,
Andy

[u-dog]

Too bad your a lesbian, syd, I'd set you up with one of my sons, you share many of their interests (or conversely, too bad one of my sons isn't a Lesbian?) Anyway... welcome to the forum! we look forward to talking to you. Lots of people here are living proof that you CAN be gay and christian

[BruceChris]

I have no clear idea what part of the country your college is in, or if you are near any large cities. (They've got liberal colleges, with Women's Studies departments where you can go to clear your head, and get advice maybe even better than you might here) And PFLAG chapters.

Nice picture. You have GOT to meet some of the women here. You CAN be lesbian, Christian if you choose, and loved. Trust us on that.


I've given the URL to a post about my wonderful church, they do exist, but not in all parts of the country. (We get a lot of people here, from the bible belt. We reach out to them as much as we can)

Please read as many of our threads and posts as you can, and you will find many kind, loving, people here, not all of them Christian, and not all of them gay. But any kind, loving, decent person qualifies as a Christian, as far as I am concerned. Even Zerbie, although she'll deny it.

So tell us your life story, but a little at a time, it's better reading that way.

I like Joss Whedon's stuff a lot. Buffy I liked, Willow I loved.

http://www.soulforce.org/forums/showthread.php?t=1093

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

[Liza]

I know this girl named Sydney, and she's like a butthead...

;)

[Zerbie]

Hi Syd,

Welcome!!:D

Surf around the site, sift through the posts - you'll find all kinds of discussions on just the sort of issues you have been sorting through recently about being lesbian and Christian.

As Chris rightly typed above, I'm NOT a Christian but I will say from the outsider perspective that true Christianity is about following Christ, His spirit, and His law (love your God and love your neighbor as your own self), not about adherance to human rules and doctrines which, though often helpful, are only of human design. Which means they can be wrong and FAIL.

Well stick around and read the discussions, post when ya like. See ya around.

Z

[nmwolfboy]

Welcome Syd :wave:

i hope you'll find Soulforce to be a great place for amazing discussions with alot of wonderful people. i sure have!

i'm one of those 'gay & Christian' folks that others have referred to. it wasn't always this way - i walked away from the church when i was 17 or 18, both angry and hurt, and my subsequent path led through neo-paganism & the radical faeries before i ended up at the Episcopal church. But that's my story...thanks for sharing some of yours!

i loved Buffy when it was on. Currently Heros has caught my attention. Well, Heros and Ugly Betty!

Pax,

scott

[keltic63]

Too bad your a lesbian, syd, I'd set you up with one of my sons, you share many of their interests (or conversely, too bad one of my sons isn't a Lesbian?) Anyway... welcome to the forum! we look forward to talking to you. Lots of people here are living proof that you CAN be gay and christian

I know plenty of guys who would classify as Lesbian if they would also happen to be female! They're just naturally attracted to women!

Welcome to the forums syd!

oh yeah, Gay and Christian here!

[Liza]

I know plenty of guys who would classify as Lesbian if they would also happen to be female! They're just naturally attracted to women!

Welcome to the forums syd!

oh yeah, Gay and Christian here!

One of my guy friends actually said that when I came out to him. He was like "That's awesome! I'm a lesbian, too". :lol:

[WillySF]

Hello Sydney,

Do you like "Firefly"? I think that was the best sci-fi series ever. I can't believe it was cancelled! The subsequent movie was great also.

[Zerbie]

One of my guy friends actually said that when I came out to him. He was like "That's awesome! I'm a lesbian, too". :lol:

:D

I've been close friends with a couple of lesbian-identified men. They're fun.

[andrewlittle]

I know this girl named Sydney, and she's like a butthead...

;)

Well, from one butthead to another, and maybe even another, welcome.

Andy

[RevVW]

Hi Syd,

Welcome! I for one, want to tell you there are plenty of Christians who love, accept, and celebrate you and your life. I am a UMC pastor, and long for the day when all of those who believe are truly accepted in the beloved.

Vern

[BruceChris]

She and Syd are old buds. (But I'll still call you a butthead, if you really want me to.........:eek: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Now Zerbie, if I get some comfortable shoes, learn how to spell Wymmun politically correctly, keep my U-Haul discreetly out of sight, and buy ENOUGH cats, can I be one of your lesbian guy friends, too? :agree: :unhappy: :rainbow: :confused:

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

[Zerbie]

: :lol:

Now Zerbie, if I get some comfortable shoes, learn how to spell Wymmun politically correctly, keep my U-Haul discreetly out of sight, and buy ENOUGH cats, can I be one of your lesbian guy friends, too? :agree: :unhappy: :rainbow: :confused:

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

Wayull, sure! We'd make quite a pair: you as described above, don't forget the bike, and me quoting opera and musical theater, playing diva, hanging around the weight room at the gym when I'm not at the mall - I think we'd need tee-shirts to identify ourselves clearly! (not that I believe in stereotypes, but anyway. . . :p )
:lol:

[Liza]

She and Syd are old buds.

Yes. And she knows when I call her a butthead, I do so out of love. ;)

[u-dog]

about this practice of insulting and teasing people who are our good friends... What do you think Andy? ;) (you old fart!)

[BruceChris]

Which is known to have at least 3 prominent members? :eek: :confused: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

[andrewlittle]

... other than I am ever so sorry that these two older, senile gentlemen - er, guys - hijacked your introductory thread. While most of us here are extremely respectful, compassionate and sensitive towards others, we do have a couple (see above) who are - hmmm, let me see, what can I say - buttheads (yeah, that's it).

I am so embarrassed that they happened to be on your thread when they regressed into completely sophomoric behavior. Alas, just chalk it up to very old age.

I think they are just trying to tell you that they appreciate the way you and Liza spar with each other but, being guys - very, very old ones, at that - they don't really know how to do that without turning infantile.

Again, I am so very sorry that they disturbed you - perhaps we can make it up in some serious, erudite conversation in other threads.

Yours very truly
The middle aged, non-flatulent gentleman,
Andy

(Jeez, you old geezers are buttheads - get back in your rooms - it's almost time for the meds cart. I've told you not to come out when there are decent folk around. And for goodness sakes - wear underwear with those gowns ...)

Oh Syd, what can I say? Welcome to my nightmare.

[BruceChris]

Totally delusional, especially when he's off his meds.

P&L, BC

[sydfinkle]

It's all good.. I have been having a massively busy week. :)

Thank you all for your responses..

While I may not exactly have a lot of time right now to tell you my life story, I can post something I wrote a while back about my "journey" I guess you could call it... And if you can believe it, this is actually the SHORT version.. (It was written in the spring of last year, so much more has happened since)

I first realized that I was gay when I was in 11th grade. I was in therapy after my 10th grade year for depression, and I always talked about my best friend. She had moved in with me and my family to escape an abusive home life. It was hard because we were sharing a bed. She ended up dating my exes and generally being a crappy friend. We would always joke about being lesbian lovers, because one time at the fair some creepy old guy thought we were lesbians. She hurt me so many times, in so many different ways, we eventually stopped being friends. The final straw was actually over Linkin Park tickets She was pissed at me that I took someone else to the concert, and I was pissed that she was pissed, etc She ended up moving out, and we just stopped talking. My therapist was incredibly curious as to why I was so angry at her. Why I couldn't just let it go. I had always been really passionate about gay rights and stuff, and whenever I would get into debates on message boards I would get so angry I wanted to punch things. The intolerance of it all choked me. It was my therapist that finally helped me realize that I was gay, and that I was in love with my best friend.

It wasn't about her being a girl for me. I fell in love with her as a person, not because she was a woman. Gender wasn't the issue; it was just a factor that happened to exist. I never really told her I think I alluded to it once or twice, but never anything really concrete. It was too hard for me, because I knew that she was straight as an arrow, and I was well... As curvy as the bow. It really depressed me for awhile, but eventually I moved on.

I used to be a Christian. But I never felt at home in the church. I guess there was always a feeling in the back of my mind that I didn't belong. It was hard because no matter what I said, no matter what I did they wouldn't accept me for who I was. They kept trying to change me. After I came out I received so much ridicule. They told me that God didn't make me gay, that he doesnt make mistakes. They told me that I was sinning, that I was going against the bible. One even went as far as to tell me that I was going to hell. It hurt so much, because these were the people who were supposed to be my friends. They were the ones who were supposed to be supportive of me. They were the ones who were supposed to love me. It ended up hurting me so much, I decided to walk away from the church. I decided that it was toxic for me, and I needed to get out.

I went to a gay group for awhile, but my parents eventually stopped driving me there. I talked to a friend of mine who is bisexual, and she has proved to be invaluable to me. She is one of my best friends, and I can talk to her about anything. When I got to college, it was like a new world opened itself to me. I finally officially came out of the closet, and started telling people that I was gay. I think at first I told people that I was bisexual so that it would be less of a shock to later come out as being a lesbian. Sort of like progressively breaking it to them. *shrug* I joined fusion, and a gay group on campus. I finally felt like I belonged to something. Like I was a part of something. It felt like something was released from me. Like I could finally be myself without worrying. I also performed a monologue for my acting class about what it was like for me to come out. What it was like to feel rejected by my friends, and rejected my others It was so incredibly difficult, but it was kind of a healing experience for me.

Recently I went out on my first date with a woman. Lets just say that it was a disaster. It didn't work out because we were so not compatible and we really didn't mesh well in that way. We had been friends since the beginning of the school year, and it was just awkward. The thing about it was, I'm mostly gay Shes mostly straight. She kept waiting for me to make the first move, but I was too shy. We ended up deciding that it would be best if we just remained friends.

I'm really passionate about gay rights, and gay marriage. I think that one day I might become an activist, joining a group like the HRC or ACLU. I want to make a difference, and I wont be able to rest until the gay community shares the same rights as everyone else.

[Liza]

You people are amazing! :lol:

[Zerbie]

Great story Syd!

:D
The story of the disaster date was actually pretty amusing, although I'm sure it was awkward as hell at the time.

Just wait til you meet some beautiful woman and you both fall like crazy - you;ll feel like you're floating on a cloud!

[tdogg]

Hi Syd, welcome to the SF forums! Your life journey sounds interesting so far - just imagine what the future holds!! :)

Glad you are here, continue to share! :rainbow:

Tdogg