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tpdncr4christ
03-11-2007, 12:22 AM
This is just something I wrote a long time ago, and found when cleaning my room. Just wondered what you all might think of it...


Heaven's Path

The way is gone, the path is broken,
the tax is large, your life, the token.

But ere the light still shines, across the raging sea,
reach it you cannot, but the light you do see.

A silhouette upon the beach stands 'tween the light and you;
a certain red her dress does take, an apple sort of hue.

Be weary of the chains that bind earth to your feet,
for she places shackles there when her fruit you eat.

For it is she who sees, why you walk the world,
her eyes see Fate's loom, its threads untied, unfurled.

Your head hanging low, your lot you realize,
you cut her ending gaze, by closing jaded eyes.

But soft, the light grows brighter; its power seems to gain,
your wonder lifts sights higher, your smile comes again.

He wields no sword, no shield, no armor on His skin;
for He like you is human He like you is kin.

She requires of Him reason, a message from the Light,
in answer He tells her, "Do not fight this fight."

For, His body is a sacrifice, His hands and feet the mold;
a covenant is cast by Him, His blood to take the old.

And still she seeks a tax, a payment for your life;
His face takes on a smile, His effort peace, not strife.

She stands in front of you; she is ready for the end;
He merely steps around her, defeated, her knees bend.

He breaks your chains with nails and builds a bridge of wood;
moves aside the red dress, your place is understood.

When you ask Him why, He came into this place,
His answer is just this, "My love, is saving grace."

He offers up a hand, to take it is your choice,
He seeks only your love, and to hear your voice.

In thought your eyes drift down, when the image does surprise,
your own body lies, you shan't believe your eyes.

And yet it is a comfort, to be washed clean of sin,
to hold the truth to say, "Have died, and born again."

So walk the bridge of wood I say, proclaiming loud His Grace!
Walk home swiftly friend Walk home to see His face.

-Austin

andrewlittle
03-11-2007, 12:35 AM
Austin, I think you have a profound gift for writing, especially poetry, I have read some of your other poems you've posted and they all amaze me.

I am curious, and this is not a criticism, just an exploratory question. You write about a feminine antagonist. I know there's a fifty-fifty choice of gender for the role, but is there anything more than that in your selection?

Anyway, as usual, I'm amazed.

tpdncr4christ
03-11-2007, 12:42 AM
I am curious, and this is not a criticism, just an exploratory question. You write about a feminine antagonist. I know there's a fifty-fifty choice of gender for the role, but is there anything more than that in your selection?

I always see the serpent as female, I don't know why. It just fits a sort of seductive temptress better I suppose... Also, Joseph Campell's "Heroes Journey" shows the temptress.

WillySF
03-11-2007, 03:28 AM
There be poets in our midst.

scott snedeker
03-11-2007, 06:34 AM
I see the woman in the red dress as a false salvation for a gay man.

"Pretend to be straight and the world loves you"

Beautiful writing!

But Austin, Since when does a self-respecting teenager clean up his room?:lol:

Zerbie
03-11-2007, 11:44 AM
One of your best poems Austin.

This one has a very very good rhythm (something I've struggled with myself.)

I wondered about the red woman too. The nifty thing about her is that various readers can and WILL assuredly interpret her differently according to where their minds are at, at any given moment. Scotty's interpretation certainly being a valid one, even if it wasn't intended, it works well. That's what's so cool about poetry. The many ways it can work, within the territory or authorship and then even beyond.

tpdncr4christ
03-11-2007, 12:42 PM
Her dress is the apple... an apple sort of hue.

u-dog
03-11-2007, 12:50 PM
But Austin, Since when does a self-respecting teenager clean up his room?

Scott, Haven't you been paying attention? He's gay!

Another awesome poem Austin

scott snedeker
03-11-2007, 04:48 PM
Scott, Haven't you been paying attention? He's gay!



I guess I didn't get that part of the gay gene. I was a slob!:lol:

still am come to think of it!:lol: :lol: