My Dictionary

[tpdncr4christ]

I'm going to write a dictionary someday.
And I'm going to put hypocrisy as a synonym of the human race.
Friendship will come before love, love before money, and happiness before everything else.
I'm going to add the word fatanbulousity, because it is a fantabulous word.
I'm going to make it ok to say funner.
Marriage will be defined as love between two people, not two sexes.
The sky will be blue, because God said so.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious will actually be said, when nothing else can be said.
I will define tears as rain, not to make you sad, but to water the flowers, to make you smile.
Music will be anything that makes you smile.
I'm going to put rainbows right next to promises.
I'm going to get rid of pride, hate, and fear.
Chocolate will be good for you.
Passion and drive will surround art.
Memories will never be forgotten.
Words like war, will only be used in phrases such as "a tickle war."
Teaching will be synonymous with learning.
"Not" will be defined as a tangle in two ropes.
And individuality will define life.
Insane? No… Eccentric, is the preferred term.

-Austin Turner

[scott snedeker]

You did it again, Austin!

Create something wonderful, and others are attracted to co-create with you!:)

[Rick336]

Austin,

With your new dictionary, it's going to be a funner world for sure.

Rick

[BruceChris]

Dictionary? I'd call it a Religion! "In The Beginning Was The Word, And The Word Was God"

[Daniel]

Your words remind me of something a wise teacher once told me, which went something like this.

"The brain only understands 'now'. Not the future, not the past. Putting an affirmation, a saying, an intention in future tense, simply puts it out of reach. If you want your words to change you, put them in present tense."

Of course, I may be (please forgive me!) unnecessarily editoral here, but what would happen if your wrote your prose in present tense? How would that make you feel?

ie..."I am writing a dictionary today."

Power is in the present.

[tpdncr4christ]

I am writing a dictionary.
Hypocrisy is now a synonym of the human race.
Friendship comes before love, love before money, and happiness before everything else.
I've added the word fatanbulousity, because it is a fantabulous word.
It is ok to say funner.
Marriage is defined as love between two people, not two sexes.
The sky is blue, because God said so.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is to be said, when nothing else can be said.
Tears are now defined as rain, not to make you sad, but to water the flowers, to make you smile.
Music is anything that makes you smile.
I've put rainbows right next to promises.
I've gotten rid of pride, hate, and fear.
Chocolate is good for you.
Passion and drive surround art.
Memories are never forgotten.
Words like war, are only to be used in phrases such as "a tickle war."
Teaching is synonymous with learning.
"Not" is defined as a tangle in two ropes.
And individuality defines life.
Insane? No… Eccentric, is the preferred term.

- Austin Turner



What do you think? With the change in tense then?

[u-dog]

I think I liked your original version better. It conveyed a feeling of wistfulness and longing that moved me more than the revised version did (and I read the changed version first). The changed version is more direct and perhaps more "forceful" but isn't more powerful or more evocative. If your purpose was to convey the fact that the world is not the way that it SHOULD be and that it will be a better place once it has changed, then the future tense is more appropriate to your purpose. If part of your purpose was to convey a just hint of sadness about the fact that it hasn't yet changed, but a kind of childLIKE (not childISH) hope that the world will some day be better, then the future tense is more effective.

BUT it doesn't matter a rat's *** what Daniel and I think because YOU are the poet. It's your voice and your heart! Don't give either one of them away to a couple of old guys like us :rolleyes:

[Daniel]

All very true David. The result may not make for great art, but my point wasn't about art, but how and why we tell ourselves the things we do. My opinion is that if we want to move others that's one thing, if we want to move ourselves, that's an entirely different matter.

One only finds this out by experiementation. Isn't that the art of life?

[u-dog]

Austin you ARE an artist... specifically a poet, and I think that you are a rather good one. It is important that you hear and trust your own artistic voice. Daniel's teacher has expressed an interesting idea about what the human mind can do and what kind of expression allows us to grow and change. Personally, his idea didn't move or convince me particularly. Your poem ( the original version) on the other hand ... did. but you are the poet and you know best.

[tpdncr4christ]

is an image of a dictionary on a coffee table, like a camera, zooming in around the book as its pages open. and a narrator reads the poem rather matter of factly, bouncy. and as they read, the pages flip to the words on the pages to match the poem. and by the end of it, when it gets to the last line, the camera zooms out to see a little boy sitting on phone books to reach the table, the narrator, saying "insane?... eccentric is the preffered term" and toasting the camera with his coffee cup. black out. it would be the future tense version... i think.

but i don't know how to do that.