Whats Up?

[davidb]

Hey everyone, my name is David. I live in Chicago and I met Mel and Haven when they were here in October at Women & Children First.

I'm a survivor of fundamentalist Christianity, Baptist-style. I attended a conservative christian high school where I was taught to shun things that were "of the world." If anyone else here comes from a GARBC background, you know what I'm talking about. I graduated from Grace College in Indiana. Our family made annual pilgrimages to Lynchburg so we could learn at the footsteps of the great Rev. Falwell. Good times! As you can imagine, I ingested--breathed in, actually--so much hatred and self-loathing that it is truly a miracle that I am here. But God is so much bigger than all the rules and legalism and false piety that I experienced as religion. The process for me becoming an out-and-proud gay man took a long time, but once the closet door opened, it opened in a really big way and I've never looked back.

I'm one of those people who "disappeared" into a big city. The people I knew from my small town shrug their shoulders and wonder what happened. It's only been in the last year or so that I've been interested in sharing my story outside of my comfort zone. Through SF I've witnessed the power tht comes when you shine the light of truth into these institutions that teach shame and condemnation. The Equality Riders are truly my heroes! How I wish that someone--anyone--would have said to me at that stage of my life "you know, God loves you just the way you are." Stay strong and know that my thoughts are with you.

Can't wait to hear how things turn out at BJU today.

Peace...

[antonyh]

Welcome to Soulforce. Nice to meet you. I'm in Chicago as well. Best city in America :D

[andrewlittle]

Illuminating second post, David (I also liked your first). Stories of surviving - no, flourishing - fuel the hope that change on a larger scale will eventually come. God bless you in your continued journey, Andy

[antonyh]

I'm one of those people who "disappeared" into a big city. The people I knew from my small town shrug their shoulders and wonder what happened. It's only been in the last year or so that I've been interested in sharing my story outside of my comfort zone. Through SF I've witnessed the power tht comes when you shine the light of truth into these institutions that teach shame and condemnation. The Equality Riders are truly my heroes! How I wish that someone--anyone--would have said to me at that stage of my life "you know, God loves you just the way you are." Stay strong and know that my thoughts are with you.


After I moved from Lafayette, Indiana to Chicago, I thought I had died and gone to heaven, really. Boystown boggled my mind. Imagine a city that would erect gay-pride pylons up and down Halstead Street to mark our neighborhood in the fantastic diversity that is Chicago.

I would love it if you could share more of your story with us.

[davidb]

No that was my first post. I think there was another David that did a shout out earlier this morning.

My story is long, and more than a little tedious...I was a good Christian missionary when I left rural Indiana for the big, bad, evil inner-city. I drank the kool-aid for about 5 years, but you can't help but ask questions when you're working and living in a poor urban community and you see that everything is so different than what you were told it would be. Evangelicalism just wasn't answering the questions I was asking. It became irrelevant. Then, through some seemingly random experiences (a health scare, meeting some actual gay christians and some good ole-fashioned liberal christians) I decided I needed to get real. I got a real good non-judgmental therapist, and after a few months I finally mustered the courage to say "I think I'm gay." I was on the staff of an inner-city evangelical church at the time, so it was a little dicey, and I stayed closeted to keep my job.

As fate would have it, soon after another church member came out, and then all hell broke loose. This church, while still technically evangelical, was a loooong ways from my GARBC roots. We had this "forum" on homosexuality where people got to express their opinions, and someone--literally--started to shout out verses from Leviticus from his seat. The one thing worse than a closeted gay person is a closeted homophobe. I knew I had to go...

I didn't finally come out publicly for a few more years, after I had let the dust settle on my evangelical past. I decided that, whenever I felt the need agaom to worship with some form of organized community, I would search that out. I'm still waiting...

I consider myself a deeply spiritual person, but I've found that anytime someone tries to organize something around the concept of God, it ends up boxing someone out of the equation, and it always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. But I know that's just me. I have total respect and admiration for anyone willing to stick it out and be visible in whatever denomination they are a part of. More power to them! I just feel more connected to the divine when I'm in nature, at the beach, or when I'm having really intense thought- provoking conversations with my friends. But like I said, that's just me. The great thing about spirituality is that the search never ends, and any time that you think you've got the answer to something "in the bag," life comes along and shows you that you still have more to experience, more to learn. Sometimes it's like Chinese water torture, but for the most part it's good.

That's all I'll post for now, but I'd be interested to hear the thoughts of others who have gone through similar experiences. It's fascinating stuff.

Peace,

--D

[antonyh]

I consider myself a deeply spiritual person, but I've found that anytime someone tries to organize something around the concept of God, it ends up boxing someone out of the equation, and it always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. But I know that's just me. I have total respect and admiration for anyone willing to stick it out and be visible in whatever denomination they are a part of. More power to them! I just feel more connected to the divine when I'm in nature, at the beach, or when I'm having really intense thought- provoking conversations with my friends. But like I said, that's just me. The great thing about spirituality is that the search never ends, and any time that you think you've got the answer to something "in the bag," life comes along and shows you that you still have more to experience, more to learn. Sometimes it's like Chinese water torture, but for the most part it's good.


It sounds like you have a very healthy spirituality. I'm not one for "organized religion" either, sigh.

Do you have any favorite clubs up here? I used to go to Big Chicks a lot, but since I've got partnered up, I don't go clubbing much anymore. I guess being a student again has made that rather difficult as well.

[davidb]

That's funny, I live like a block from Chicks. I've been in the neighborhood for years. I met my partner there. Michelle is awesome, I love her to death. I'm a regular at Tweet on the weekends, but like you, I'm all settled down and don't really have time for the bar scene anymore (that and the reality that I'm from the paleazoic era)

What are you studying?

[antonyh]

I'm doing a grad degree in Information Systems. I was at Tweet a couple of weeks ago for a friends birthday brunch. Michelle managed to get a couple of Charlie Trotter chefs on staff so the food as excellent. Michelle is like grand mama of Chicago's gay community.

I used to live in Uptown, but now I'm in the Gold Coast. Wish I was in Uptown...such an awesome hood. The Chicago Reader is featuring Uptown this week...a great read.

I'm not sure what the paleazoic era means, but I may be there as well. I say if you want to figure out your real age, you have to add together your age and the age of your partner and average them. That makes me 26. Likin those numbers :)

I think it is interesting how gay guys identify around bars much more easily than churches. I have a couple of fundies after me in the forums, so this comment may draw some ire :D

When I was going through difficult times in Chicago, I used to go religiously to Big Chicks. The dance floor was my compass. No matter how much oppression I felt, I would always dance it off at Big Chicks. I think that is why gay bars are so alive and vibrant...a spirituality all of it's own.

Ahhh...those were the days.

[Sherrie Z]

Hello!

I used to live in Chicago ... I moved to San Francisco in 1993 so many of the clubs have changed by now, but I certainly visited my share (LOL), my favorites were the mixed bars ... gender-wise, orientation-wise, racially-wise, and any-other-wise. And I certainly agree about the wonders of Boys Town ... especially during the fair on Halsted Street in August ... : )

How cool that Haven and Mel visited Women & Children First ... is that bookstore still in the Armitage area?

Hugs,

Sherrie Z

[davidb]

I had totally forgotten that Women & Children First used to be on Armitage, that was a long time ago. They have been on Clark Street in Andersonville for at least 10 years. Andersonville has really taken off and is the second gay "hub" in Chicago. There are alot of great things going on there.

Antony, I totally relate to your comments about spirituality and gay clubs. I will NEVER forget my first night on the dance floor. The transfer of energy between the dancers and the DJ, the lights, the emotions in the music, the overall experience was completely transcendent. I remember feeling "now this was worth waiting for." I was completely exhausted but didn't want to leave. And the DJ closed out his set with "Don't Leave Me This Way." What an awesome night. Those kinds of nights became "church" for me.

Dancing has always been a source of great comfort. I have absolutely no rythym, and I hardly met anyone, but I always had a great time. I just wish I could stay up past midnight! Let's just say that if you averaged my partners age and my age, you come up with a number larger than 26--and we'll leave it at that. Big Chicks was my home away from home from about 1999 to 2002.

David

_________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.

--Emerson

[Sherrie Z]

I had totally forgotten that Women & Children First used to be on Armitage, that was a long time ago. They have been on Clark Street in Andersonville for at least 10 years. Andersonville has really taken off and is the second gay "hub" in Chicago. There are alot of great things going on there.

I remember that a gay enclave was starting up north of Boys Town around the time I left ... glad to hear one of my favorite neighborhoods there is taking off ... with fond memories of both locations of Ann Sather's ... mmm, cinnamon rolls ... : )

PS ... I just looked up Ann Sather's online ... they've added two more locations since I left! Cool!

By the way, I lived in many different neighborhoods over the years, but mostly around Newtown / Lakeview ... : )

I also just looked up His 'n Hers ... thinking that it might have closed ... after moving from Addison, it was up near Andersonville for awhile, but then closed very soon after I moved from Chicago. I just read that the former owner, Marge Summit was voted into the Gay & Lesbian Hall of Fame ... and appeared in a film about the pre-Stonewall era. HNH was a really fun club, more of a performance space and hangout and restaurant and community center than a dance space, but a great atmosphere. Cheers!

[antonyh]

I remember that a gay enclave was starting up north of Boys Town around the time I left ... glad to hear one of my favorite neighborhoods there is taking off ... with fond memories of both locations of Ann Sather's ... mmm, cinnamon rolls ... : )

I hear the epicenter of the gay community is now around Big Chicks (Uptown/Andersonville/Edgewater).

[Sherrie Z]

Thanks, Antony! Lots of changes since I've been there ... it's nice to have some Chicago nostalgia flashbacks and also to get the updates.

Buckingham Fountain, Gino's East deep dish, riding the "El" ... sigh : )

[davidb]

Sherri...

Well at this point "riding the el" could have a thread of it's own here. It's quite the challenge. Glad you have such great memories of Chicago. Personally I'd trade your weather for ours anyday. I love love love SF and get there every chance I can. Always have a great time.

--David

________________________________________
What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.

--Emerson

[Sherrie Z]

Yes, we are very spoiled in San Francisco with our weather ... and I left Chicago just prior to the big change in the El system ... I was there for the Howard line and the Ravenwood line, etc ... rather than the new color system. : )

[davidb]

Even though it's color coded, we still use the old names (Howard, Ravenswood, Dan Ryan, etc.). The big drama is the construction...they are re-doing most of the stops on the Brown (Ravenswood) line, and the area between Fullerton and Addision is down to one track in either direction because they re-doing both the Belmont and Fullerton Stops. I'll be riding the bus for awhile...

[squirt07]

It is good to hear your story. I was also able to spend some time in Chicago and agree that Boystown is amazing. As a misfit for most my life, living in a small conservative town, Chicago is a great place to relocate.

[JudB]

Hi David,

I do love Chicago. Welcome...

[Sherrie Z]

Even though it's color coded, we still use the old names (Howard, Ravenswood, Dan Ryan, etc.). The big drama is the construction...they are re-doing most of the stops on the Brown (Ravenswood) line, and the area between Fullerton and Addision is down to one track in either direction because they re-doing both the Belmont and Fullerton Stops. I'll be riding the bus for awhile...

Wow, good luck with that! I wonder how many total hours I spent waiting at each of those el stops, LOL! Such nostalgia! What neighborhood are you in? : )

[antonyh]

It is good to hear your story. I was also able to spend some time in Chicago and agree that Boystown is amazing. As a misfit for most my life, living in a small conservative town, Chicago is a great place to relocate.

We just won the US Olympic Games Bid :)

[davidb]

Hopefully we can get the CTA fixed before 2016. :(

[antonyh]

Hopefully we can get the CTA fixed before 2016. :(

I sure hope so. It is so much fun with three tracks :)