BubbaBear
04-10-2007, 09:56 AM
Today Soulforce visits Montreat College. My prayers will be with them throughout the day. It was many years ago that I was a student at Montreat. Until the day they told me gays were not welcome. Follows is the letter I sent to Dr. Dan Struble, President of Montreat College.
March 27, 2007
Dr. Dan Struble
Office of the President
Montreat College
P.O. Box 1267
Montreat, NC 28757
Dear Dr. Struble,
I spoke with one of the members of Soulforce a few days ago. I was pleased to learn they will be welcomed when they visit Montreat next month. I pray you, your staff, and students will open your hearts and minds to speak with them and hear their concerns. We too are children of God and he loves all his children.
It was many years ago that I was a student at Montreat. This letter has been a long, long time in coming and I do so in tears. Even though it was about thirty six years ago, the pain and hurt remain. Montreat was my dream, my refuge, my hope and my future. For the first time in my life, I was truly happy.
I wanted to be there more than anything else in the world. Growing up, I was sexually abused. I was placed by my parents in a psychiatric hospital in my teen years because I was gay. I was abused and raped there. But, I had worked hard and graduated high school. Montreat was my future. I was away from all those who had hurt me. I became involved in campus activities and had some real friends. I had never really had many friends before. I believed I had a real future. I couldn't have been happier
I do not know how to describe the pain I felt the day I was told I was not welcome. And, that I was not to return the next semester. I was not to even step foot on campus. Still today, I remember the hurt and pain. I desperately wanted to stay. Not only was I told to leave, but they offered me no compassion or care. I felt abandoned.
I was interrogated about my activities on campus. I had never done anything with anyone on campus. I had some gay friends from Warren Wilson. They came to visit and socialize. Nothing more. But, I did admit I was gay. And that was all it took. Not only was I not wanted, but they gave me no counseling or help to deal with what was to me a scary and frightening time.
I did everything I could to stay.
Even Billy Graham's wife Ruth, daughter Gigi and son-in-law Stephan Tchividjian appealed on my behalf, but they wouldn't budge. It was a painful time and returning home as a failure was even more painful. Montreat also violated my privacy by telling a teacher friend, (who was a Montreat alumni) and the person who had referred me to Montreat, why I was kicked out.
I never resumed my education. I spent a number of years wandering and confused. I was hurt and angry. My goal had been to one day serve and help others. I had planned a career in social work. It never materialized.
Ten years ago, I was traveling through North Carolina after visiting my mother when she had cancer surgery. I took a side trip to Montreat. I drove around the campus with tears in my eyes. It was the first time in 25 years that I had been back. It was late, but the door to Gaither was open, so I went in. The door to the church was locked. I walked up the stairs and the door to the organ loft was open. I stepped in. I remembered when the Von Beckerath organ was installed. I had turned the pages to the music as Tom Stierwalt played the dedication. I looked toward the pulpit and remembered the sermons from Rev. Dr. Calvin Thielman. I thought about the times I had sung in the choir. It was late and hardly anyone was around. I then took a walk by Lake Susan. I was crying as I remembered the pain. I wished someone would have passed and started a conversation. I so wanted someone to say they were sorry for my pain.
Today I am 53 year old gay man. I have been with my partner Mike for 25 years. I am physically disabled. I know God loves me and blesses our union. But I still wonder how things might have been.
Please end this turning away of God's children. Hear our voices and know that we too want to learn and serve. Give us a chance. Perhaps it won't happen today or next year. But please listen and share with those of Soulforce who come to you. Listen to them and they too will listen to you. Try to understand each other..Please do not do to another what was done to me.
Sincerely,
John Todd
March 27, 2007
Dr. Dan Struble
Office of the President
Montreat College
P.O. Box 1267
Montreat, NC 28757
Dear Dr. Struble,
I spoke with one of the members of Soulforce a few days ago. I was pleased to learn they will be welcomed when they visit Montreat next month. I pray you, your staff, and students will open your hearts and minds to speak with them and hear their concerns. We too are children of God and he loves all his children.
It was many years ago that I was a student at Montreat. This letter has been a long, long time in coming and I do so in tears. Even though it was about thirty six years ago, the pain and hurt remain. Montreat was my dream, my refuge, my hope and my future. For the first time in my life, I was truly happy.
I wanted to be there more than anything else in the world. Growing up, I was sexually abused. I was placed by my parents in a psychiatric hospital in my teen years because I was gay. I was abused and raped there. But, I had worked hard and graduated high school. Montreat was my future. I was away from all those who had hurt me. I became involved in campus activities and had some real friends. I had never really had many friends before. I believed I had a real future. I couldn't have been happier
I do not know how to describe the pain I felt the day I was told I was not welcome. And, that I was not to return the next semester. I was not to even step foot on campus. Still today, I remember the hurt and pain. I desperately wanted to stay. Not only was I told to leave, but they offered me no compassion or care. I felt abandoned.
I was interrogated about my activities on campus. I had never done anything with anyone on campus. I had some gay friends from Warren Wilson. They came to visit and socialize. Nothing more. But, I did admit I was gay. And that was all it took. Not only was I not wanted, but they gave me no counseling or help to deal with what was to me a scary and frightening time.
I did everything I could to stay.
Even Billy Graham's wife Ruth, daughter Gigi and son-in-law Stephan Tchividjian appealed on my behalf, but they wouldn't budge. It was a painful time and returning home as a failure was even more painful. Montreat also violated my privacy by telling a teacher friend, (who was a Montreat alumni) and the person who had referred me to Montreat, why I was kicked out.
I never resumed my education. I spent a number of years wandering and confused. I was hurt and angry. My goal had been to one day serve and help others. I had planned a career in social work. It never materialized.
Ten years ago, I was traveling through North Carolina after visiting my mother when she had cancer surgery. I took a side trip to Montreat. I drove around the campus with tears in my eyes. It was the first time in 25 years that I had been back. It was late, but the door to Gaither was open, so I went in. The door to the church was locked. I walked up the stairs and the door to the organ loft was open. I stepped in. I remembered when the Von Beckerath organ was installed. I had turned the pages to the music as Tom Stierwalt played the dedication. I looked toward the pulpit and remembered the sermons from Rev. Dr. Calvin Thielman. I thought about the times I had sung in the choir. It was late and hardly anyone was around. I then took a walk by Lake Susan. I was crying as I remembered the pain. I wished someone would have passed and started a conversation. I so wanted someone to say they were sorry for my pain.
Today I am 53 year old gay man. I have been with my partner Mike for 25 years. I am physically disabled. I know God loves me and blesses our union. But I still wonder how things might have been.
Please end this turning away of God's children. Hear our voices and know that we too want to learn and serve. Give us a chance. Perhaps it won't happen today or next year. But please listen and share with those of Soulforce who come to you. Listen to them and they too will listen to you. Try to understand each other..Please do not do to another what was done to me.
Sincerely,
John Todd