My Story So Far...

[alisaeyes]

I guess I need to explain my situation more clearly...here goes..I wanted to say that I am also Dyslexia...thats why I write short messages...and my spelling might be off ...so forgive me....My sister and brother are very smart they went to college...but I have always had a hard time in school, so I didn't go...I thought I was kinda dumb...but when I went to school there was no testing for that so I didn't know,,,

I have always known I was different from other seen I can remember ,,,I was a Tom boy they call me...but when I realize about what the word gay meant I knew that was me but I couldn't tell...I am in a real strict baptist area...they look at gay people as sinners and going to hell...I have been taught to believe that since I was little...so I did and just push the known ledge that I was gay out of my mind...I just acted like everyone else...no one knew but me..I would get very uneasy when someone would bring the subject up...I became very good at hiding it...

My doctor had suggested I go to a therapist he knew...So finally I did...and boy did she light my life up...she is from up north as they call them..I found out there is another side to the issue..she is showing me things I didn't even know...that its OK to be lesiban...and that I need to do what will make me happy and not everyone else....so that is where we stand now..she know how this area is and she wants me to take it easy,,,for if or when I do come out ,,I will probably have to leave,,,my family want like it ...they are real strict Baptist,,,so right now I am stuck...I guess it like a soap opera will it every end....http://www.postsmile.com/img/emotions/121.gif

[Zerbie]

Hi Hobo,

You communicate well, so don't worry about that. :)

You're smarter than you think you are. I've heard that dyslexia usually happens to the very smart people. When I spent a year teaching (long story!) there was a dsylexic girl in my class and she had the brightest insights - she was a tough young woman, too.

You're a tough person, and obviously adaptive to have taken care of yourself for so long in an environment where you feel unsafe. Give yourself a lot of credit for that.

It sounds like you have a very good therapist. Take your time. Let your sense of self-love grow.

Glad you are with us.
:love:

[nmwolfboy]

Glad to meet you, Hobo! :wave:

You are very welcome here at Soulforce :) Feel free to read through the threads, and/or share your insights. We're a friendly bunch - don't let our sometimes heated discussions worry you. There are alot of wonderful people here with big hearts!

Peace :dove:

scott

[Pablo Rafael]

Hi Hobo,

I have to apologize for how late I am at giving you this welcome. I have appreciated your posts.

I hope you continue to join with us in conversations. I have gotten a lot of encouragement from the people who post here. They are a great group of people.

It wasn't too long back that I came to the realization that it is OK to be gay. I see that you also have experienced that freedom. (Now if we could just get the people around us to realize that as well.) It takes people a long time to change their way of thinking. My advice is show your family and friends lots of love; love has a power greater than anything else.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

[kara speltz]

Hi Hobo,

I have to apologize for how late I am at giving you this welcome. I have appreciated your posts.

I hope you continue to join with us in conversations. I have gotten a lot of encouragement from the people who post here. They are a great group of people.

It wasn't too long back that I came to the realization that it is OK to be gay. I see that you also have experienced that freedom. (Now if we could just get the people around us to realize that as well.) It takes people a long time to change their way of thinking. My advice is show your family and friends lots of love; love has a power greater than anything else.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

Excellent advice Pablo. When we finally overcome our internalized homophobia and come to the wondrous understanding that God has a special plan for us and respond, "here I am, Lord," that love overcomes everything and people eventually have to acknowledge, even if it is never done publicly, that you are a child of God. God's love when we finally come to accept it radiates around us.

And remember that you need to give your family and friends, at least as much time as you took to reach that place of acceptance.

kara

[Rick336]

Hobo,

As long as you have a computer you'll never be stuck. You'll always have your friends here at Soulforce to talk to anytime you want to. :)

I'm glad you're here. :)

Rick

[ladyinred]

Being dyslexic doesn't mean dumb Hobo. My brother is dyslexic and he had a hard time in school when he was in Elementary and as he got older was a whiz at math and computer stuff.(wasn't Albert Einstein dyslexic?) You have your own gifts so don't sell yourself short.
Also it isn't easy where you are living in a unfriendly atmosphere toward gays and lesbians. That is primary one of the reasons so many choose to stay in the closet. I'd also like to add that it is not a matter of cowardice but a real concern about not being safe and for lack of support system. I had a friend who lived in a small town and she didn't come out until she moved to a larger city and met her partner there. For her it was a matter of survival. I can also relate to feeling stuck in my own life. It's not an easy place to be.