View Full Version : My Home Church Asked Me To Resign
05-15-2007, 02:39 PM
This past Sunday (Mother's Day) a deacon from my church met with me and my parents. The reason for this meeting was to ask me to "repent of my lifestyle" or "resign my membership from the church."
This church is a Southern Baptist Church in Stokes County, North Carolina. A church where I sing in the church choir, have taught Sunday School, held committee positions, etc.. This is the church were my family and I have attended all of our lives. This church was founded by my ancestors in 1851. So family roots run deep!
According to this deacon a "group" of people approached the deacons about me being gay. A lot of this has only come out since I posted a myspace page. On my myspace page I am very open with my faith and with my sexuality.
I refused to resign and refused to repent from a "lifestyle" from which I was born. My Mom told this man "my son is gay and was born gay. I have been to doctors, psychiatrists and took classes on this issue." My father and mother both told him that If I am made to leave the church, they will also leave.
Upon further conversations with some close friends, I have growing support from the church for my support. If the deacons bring the vote to the church body, a 2/3 majority must be reached according to the by-laws of the church.
I could just leave or I could take a stand for what is right! I believe God wants me to stand up for what is right! My family and friends wants the issue brought to the entire church. We will see who in the church show the true love of Christ. If I am voted out of the church, this could lead to a church split. Again, I am standing up to what is right and hoping for some supporters or others who have faced this challenge to share with me their experience and outcome.
Thank you and God bless!
05-15-2007, 02:44 PM
I'm really sorry they asked you that! What a terrible position to put anyone in! (and I presume that you are a young person, 20 or younger, even worse to place this burden on a youth.)
Otoh I'm extremely glad you have strong support from your family. You, together with them, will do what is right.
Best wishes. :pray:
05-15-2007, 02:47 PM
Wadeboy, that is awful that a place that is responsible to teach Jesus' love has treated you without any.
Praying for you. I'm sure you will decide what is the best course of action. Let us know how it goes for you. Stay strong, keep the faith! :pray:
05-15-2007, 02:59 PM
Way to go, WBoy! Continue to stand your ground!
Your courage is inspiring.
05-15-2007, 03:14 PM
This looks like God's way of making you church kinder! He is working through you!
05-15-2007, 03:26 PM
I pray for the strength of God for you. I am so happy to see you standing your ground. I think God is using you to bring about a change in your church. I know you will prevail in this fight. Use this opportunity to show your church that being gay and Christian is not two separate things.
You are in my prayers,
05-15-2007, 03:27 PM
I was raised Southern Baptist. There are good people in the church. Give them a chance to support you! If this never came up, the church loses a chance to grow and mature. Your doing a wonderful thing. Here's praying for you, your family, and your church. Montanna:pray:
05-15-2007, 04:20 PM
How wonderful that you have such great support from your family and others in your congregation. My prayers are with you, wadeboy! Please keep us updated. :) :pray: :)
05-15-2007, 05:21 PM
Stand strong, and we'll stand [virtually] with you. It's an important choice to make, and I'm glad you feel up to taking the stand. We're proud of you. I'm betting you'll be surprised by some of the reactions (positive and negative) you get ... my church surprised me when I came out. I expected far more very negative reactions and far fewer very positive ones.
05-15-2007, 07:26 PM
It would be so much easier to just disappear. But if you choose to stay and make the church put it to a vote, you'll also make them connect their theories about orientation to you, a real live person they know and love. Even if they expel you, that's an experience that will profoundly affect them for the rest of their lives.
But it's your choice.
05-15-2007, 07:54 PM
wadeboy! welcome to the forums.
I'm glad you've got the support of your family. I find it truly amazing that a church could make the decision to remove someone from fellowship when the fruits of that one's labors are so evident in the life of the congregation. If you're up for the battle, and feel you and your family can handle it, I say stay and make a stand for lgbt christians.
You can always stomp the dust from your sandals later, if you feel you're not getting the response you should have.
05-15-2007, 09:40 PM
This is an open invitation to yell at us from your places of frustration, to allow us to cry with you when you need compassion, to just come and be virtually held when you need it. Please, please, please use us for these purposes as this unfolds - however it unfolds.
We will do our utmost best to support you, and will keep you and your family and supporters in our prayers.
I pray God softens hearts, loosens dogma, and leads all in your church to embrace the hesed (steadfast love) of God for all God's children.
05-15-2007, 09:48 PM
What Andy said!!! :love:
05-15-2007, 09:54 PM
Welcome to the forum!
As you can see, everyone is lining up to support you in whatever way they can- and I want to add my voice along with those here.
I am so so glad that you have the support of your parents. Good for you! And that they are willing to stand by you as you stand up for yourself.
Andy is right: there are a lot of resourceful people here. You can depend on everyone here to come to your aid, to trouble shoot, provide information, books and articles and perhaps most important of all- to just listen.
You aren't just standing up for yourself, but for GLBT persons everywhere. And in time, there will be others who will stand on your shoulders- reaching even higher.
May you, your family, and your church be blessed.
05-15-2007, 11:44 PM
My mother stood up against her brother tonight over the phone. He is one of the deacons who agreed to ask this of me. She told him he was wrong to condemn me.
I am so very proud of my parents! Thank God for them.
One of my best friends in the church said tonight when she was up in the community "this is the topic of conversation." I'm glad people are talking about it! Many people have said "regardless if I am gay or not I should be welcome in my home church!"
I will continue to update you guys on the progress.
BTW: someone asked if I was a younger person. I am actually a 34 year man and this is not hurting my faith at all. There are many congregations in my area who welcome gay people, but I am standing up for what is right in my own home church!
Thanks again for your support!
05-16-2007, 11:47 AM
When we recognize that such requests as these are made from fear and that such fear is generated by ignorance, we can work toward removing its cause. I'm glad to hear people are discussing this issue in your church and I hope you and your family will get an opportunity to express yourselves so this ignorance will be overcome.
I am so sorry you and your family are having this trouble, however, as they say, what does not kill us, makes us stronger. I've been keeping you, your family and your church community in my prayers and will continue to do so.
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