Any Adoptees out there?

[Progo35]

While we're all chatting together, I was wondering if anyone has had the experience of having a birth parent contact them after they were adopted and what they did. In my case, my birth father contacted me about six years ago and I hadn't been able to write back because my own life was a mess. Now, I am trying to get in touch with him and it has been very difficult to figure out where he might be. I feel like I really need to do this, as in his letter he expressed a lot of guilt, which I would like to put to rest. I probably seems cruel that I waited this long, and it was, but I didn't know what else to do because my family and I were at odds for a long time and I thought that contacting him then would have made reconcilliation even more difficult.

Has anyone dealt with this?

[andrewlittle]

At 26, she finally responded to notes from her natural father, who allowed me to adopt her because he didn't want to pay child support.

Unfortunately, in her case, she found a little boy in a man's body who hit her up for money to "get clean". Two days later he was arrested, yet again, for cocaine possession.

Now, apart from that, I have several friends who have made contact with birth parents and, while it hasn't been easy, have built loving, reliable relationships with them. If your birth father has expressed guilt, he may very well be in this category and seriously looking for a relationship. You, however, have every right to determine the nature of that relationship and how quickly/slowly it develops.