sexual development

[gman620]

Hey all. I wanted to discuss something that's sort of difficult for me to understand.

OK, I will go back to when I was 12. In 6th grade I decided to go out with this girl I liked, but I never wanted to have sex with her nor was I sexually attracted to her. We split up within about 8 months.

After that, I kept searching for a girlfriend but never found one. I didn't really understand what sex and sexuality really was at this time. I remember in 8th grade I developed a strong attraction to this guy in my class, but it wasn't really sexual at the time. I just wanted to be with him all the time.

I entered high school (an all-boys school) and continued to try to find women outside of school. But it was around that time that I began to notice men more and become gradually sexually attracted to them. By my junior year I realized I was gay. This was when I was about 17. I came out at the beginning of my freshman year of college when I was 18.

Is it normal that it took me so long to realize I was gay, because a lot of people say that they knew when they were much younger. A lot of gays and lesbians are coming out in their early teens, whereas it took me so much longer. Do you think I was developmentally delayed?

[scott snedeker]

No, Onset of puberty occurs when the pineal gland in the brain dies thereby stopping the release of a hormone that holds back sexual developement. This Hormone was named inhibin. On a plain filn xray of the skull, the calcium deposits can be seen about dead center in a human who has undergone this stage of development. we are all on a different clock. I can remember sexual feelings as early as age 7! :lol:

[BrentRichards]

Hey all. I wanted to discuss something that's sort of difficult for me to understand.

OK, I will go back to when I was 12. In 6th grade I decided to go out with this girl I liked, but I never wanted to have sex with her nor was I sexually attracted to her. We split up within about 8 months.

After that, I kept searching for a girlfriend but never found one. I didn't really understand what sex and sexuality really was at this time. I remember in 8th grade I developed a strong attraction to this guy in my class, but it wasn't really sexual at the time. I just wanted to be with him all the time.

I entered high school (an all-boys school) and continued to try to find women outside of school. But it was around that time that I began to notice men more and become gradually sexually attracted to them. By my junior year I realized I was gay. This was when I was about 17. I came out at the beginning of my freshman year of college when I was 18.

Is it normal that it took me so long to realize I was gay, because a lot of people say that they knew when they were much younger. A lot of gays and lesbians are coming out in their early teens, whereas it took me so much longer. Do you think I was developmentally delayed?

Absolutely not. I also remember being emotionally drawn to other boys long before I was aware of it being sexual, and LONG LONG LONG before I would acknowledge it to be sexual!

[tymejumper]

Hey all. I wanted to discuss something that's sort of difficult for me to understand.

OK, I will go back to when I was 12. In 6th grade I decided to go out with this girl I liked, but I never wanted to have sex with her nor was I sexually attracted to her. We split up within about 8 months.

After that, I kept searching for a girlfriend but never found one. I didn't really understand what sex and sexuality really was at this time. I remember in 8th grade I developed a strong attraction to this guy in my class, but it wasn't really sexual at the time. I just wanted to be with him all the time.

I entered high school (an all-boys school) and continued to try to find women outside of school. But it was around that time that I began to notice men more and become gradually sexually attracted to them. By my junior year I realized I was gay. This was when I was about 17. I came out at the beginning of my freshman year of college when I was 18.

Is it normal that it took me so long to realize I was gay, because a lot of people say that they knew when they were much younger. A lot of gays and lesbians are coming out in their early teens, whereas it took me so much longer. Do you think I was developmentally delayed?

No, I d not think you are or were delayed. I remember being attracted to women at 16, I actually used to brush my boyfriends, bestfriends girlfriends hair because I was so attracted to her. I still dated boys. I never enjoyed sex with them, but felt that it was the thing to do. I dated men and was attracted to women, eventually marrying at the age of 19, to my best male friend, who is also TG. I could actually stomache sex with him and even enjoyed it a bit. I had 3 children, still with ever growing awareness that this attraction to women, was NOT going to pass and that it meant I was gay. I was 27 then and felt I had 2 kids so I should stay because I could do this, stuff the rest of my feelings, and the kids needed a father. After my 3rd child I asked for a divorce, letting him know that I could not do it any longer and even though he married me knowing I was a lesbian, I was respectfully asking to be let go.

I am divorced now, carrying some guilt for hiding in the closet so long and not being more active in the community. It is possible to hide from yourself, and if the urge to blend into society is strong enough, you will go to great lengths to do what it says is normal(like i did). It made it hard for us 30 somethings to come out, but now the younger crowd is not having so much difficulty as we did. They are accepted for who they are in part because of our confusion and eventual acceptance of ourselves. It is a new generation, they are hip and self assure. It was a struggle for us to find ourselves as we had no gay icons and heros, now more people are out and the icons are there. Was is worth it? For me, you bet! I have found the love of my life and the woman who is the other half of my soul, she is worth every bit of confusion and pain I had to go through in order to get out and find her!
Peace Out,
Rebekah:award:

[Daniel]

You realized things a lot earlier than some of us. I didn't really understand why I didn't have any attraction to women until I was well into my 20's. Like you, I wanted to be around guys at an early age but didn't have a name for it. Looking back, can I say I was gay from an early age? You bet. But the unfolding of self-realization doesn't happen the same for each of us.

Things might have been different if I'd had parents who were more aware about such things. But I didn't. Conservatives, by and large, don't want to deal with such things. Head in the sand sort of thing.

Blessed are those who nuture and affirm a young person's nature to love.

[tymejumper]

You realized things a lot earlier than some of us. I didn't really understand why I didn't have any attraction to women until I was well into my 20's. Like you, I wanted to be around guys at an early age but didn't have a name for it. Looking back, can I say I was gay from an early age? You bet. But the unfolding of self-realization doesn't happen the same for each of us.

Things might have been different if I'd had parents who were more aware about such things. But I didn't. Conservatives, by and large, don't want to deal with such things. Head in the sand sort of thing.

Blessed are those who nuture and affirm a young person's nature to love.

It must have been very difficult for you with conservative parents. I have already made sure my kids know its ok to be gay or straight or bi or whatever they are. I told them to be happy and love who they would.