Having problems deciding...

[missmari]

ok, so my situation is crazy....

my fam is anti-gay, my girlfriend and I are dating in secret, so its been tough. I know the day I decide to go public with my sexuality, my fam will disown me and ask me to leave...

nevertheless, i still love my fam, they've played such important roles in my life..

I consider myself a pretty active girl in life: I was in honors in college (that was before I got kicked out of HONORS SOCIETY; my parents made me quit that semester b/c they wanted me to take a vacation and "recuperate" psychologically from being gay) I was active at my church, I played for the orchestra (they kicked me out of that too since I'm gay), I was involved in the youth group, and was youth girls leader (got kicked out of that too)...

well, the thing is its been a while since my fam and I spoke about gay issues and all, and my bro (who is orchestra dir.) asked me if I could join the orchestra again...
I got really happy thinking "wow they're letting me back?? and they respect my sexual orientation?" my happiness was short lived...he said that I could play that He needed me back I was a blessing to the orchestra and church, but I had to admit and confess that my having been (they don't know my girlfriend and i are still together) with my girlfriend was a huge mistake and a sin...

I was crushed, I cried..

so i'm having problems deciding what to do....my girlfriend comes back in November, I still am having probs finding a job...

but I'm trying to stay focused and positive...

I many times think why life has to be so complicated...sometimes it just is isn't it?:

oh well...

I haven't been logging in here in a while, just wanted to say hello also!!

see ya guys!

[scott snedeker]

These are difficult times. Focus on yourself before talking to any of your family. I think that simple survival is all that you can manage right now. Get a job at home depot or walmart or waiting tables or just some entry level position just to start getting a paycheck until you can learn to survive on your own. This is a learning experience. You are self sufficient you just don't feel it yet! You need to explore the confidence in yourself that is waiting to be discovered.



The real You has been cast out by your family, but you can make it! Because the new FAMILY is the one composed of us, your gay brothers and sisters who have been cast out also. We have been where you are and see in you ourselves when we were cast out. We are here in this time when you need a family

[Daniel]

This is a very tough time for your right now certainly. And it sounds like you are straddling two worlds, the one where everything was fine but you were closeted, and a new one that holds out the promise of love with your girlriend- and you may not be sure what's going to happen.

Girlfriend of no, you've been used to relying on your parents, and they are undoubtedly counting on that- holidng it over you head in fact- so that you will do what they want. Those apron strings can be very tight indeed!

Bottom line is that if they don't come around and you keep trying to stay on the fence, you are going to end up hating both them and yourself. And while I know getting a job may be very challenging right now- please persist. Make yourself get out and get one. I know you can do it.

We learn to be self confident by taking ACTION. It can be scary, yes, but that's the way it goes.

Having a plan helps tremendously. Having a backup plan is helpful too.

[progressive4christ]

The real You has been cast out by your family, but you can make it! Because the new FAMILY is the one composed of us, your gay brothers and sisters who have been cast out also. We have been where you are and see in you ourselves when we were cast out. We are here in this time when you need a family[/quote]

HEY STRAIGHT ONES TOO!

I may not know how to relate to being rejected like that, but I do have the type of parents who would kick me our for it and other stuff too if I still lived with them. I am ...straight, but I am a person who cares deeply for anyone who is teated like an outcast or made to feel lesser of a person; that totally breaks my heart and I would like to be considered as someone that Gay people could ALWAYS turn to and feel loved and excepted for just being who they are. If I had money I would start a safe haven fore gay people who have been rejected by their families. A place they can feel safe and excepted.

[progressive4christ]

i do not understand how people can have double standards like that. How can they treat her like any other person before, then all of a sudden just because she is gay that changes who she is and how the treat her. I would think that just because she came out dose not make her any different then she was before. If she was a sweet, care and loving person before then would not she be the same regardless of her orientations. Do they think that puff as soon as someones comes out that they are a totally different person that all good that is in them disapears just because they are gay. I just do not get it. :confused::'(

[Rick336]

If I had money I would start a safe haven fore gay people who have been rejected by their families. A place they can feel safe and excepted.

What a great idea. There are so many young people who need something like that. An Advocate article last month reported on the thousands of homeless gay teens living on the streets of Los Angeles that have been rejected by their families. Some have become addicted to meth and have turned to prostitution. It would be great for them to have some place for them to go for help and acceptance.

Rick

[missmari]

thanks guys...

i'm so touched, i'm glad to know that there are people out there that have my back....

you guys are amazing, better than Dr.Phil!!! haha seriously, you couldn't have said it better....

I will keep persisting w/that job!!!!

I love you guys; i know i haven't met you in person, but just by hearing your words, I definitely know you guys are loving, caring people...exactly what this prejudice world needs around here

thanks

[alisaeyes]

My mother thinks if we don't talk about it ,,then it will go away...

[Jennifer5]

and I'm not really able to give advice here... because I really just don't know... but what I do have is...


:love:We all love you and are here for you!!!! (((hugs))):love: