View Full Version : ignorance
07-15-2007, 01:00 PM
I am a young 22 year old transexual. I had recently got into a relationship where I found my self falling in love. It was a man who I had changed his life as well as he had mine. The family loved me and cared for me as their own. I had a great relationship with his family. They are very religious and preach the bible constantly, pressuring me to go to church and live the saved life. I did the whole nod and agree thing becuase I didnt want to disrespect his family in any way. They enjoyed seeing their son being happy and were glad he was changing his ways. ( sounds confusing but hold on). He was a drug addict and couldnt hold a job. I changed all that. He did it for me cause he loved me. I warned him the minute I find he does drungs he is out. Well it took about 5 months before it happened and I forced him out. At that time he told his family about me really being a man. The family was shocked becuase they had held our relationship so high and was so proud of us. His family then turned away from him and he went to living on the streets. It was a matter of days when he was back on drungs and he ended up having a stroke and in the hospital. Surgery was done and he lost memory. Now the family expects me to just walk out of his life becuase he doest have a good chance. They want him to be saved before he goes and in God's eyes according to them, it is an ultimate sin and he is bound for hell. She said that I needed to walk out of his life to save him and save myself. I am very upset at this becuase I have love for this man and it hurts me to see him dying and I am not able to be there. the entire family has outcasted me but before they knew I was a man they were all about it and happy. I have been on a downfall ever since. I am depressed and have guilt for things that have happened. Any advice on how to handle the situation...
07-15-2007, 01:29 PM
Jessica, I wish I had advice for you, but I've never been even CLOSE to a situation like that, and would be bullshitting if I pretended to know anything about it.
I'm sorry for all the terrible things that have happened and are happening around you. :( It must be infuriating that this family "loved" you when they got to know what you're like as a person, but excludes you now that you have been outted to them. So, I take it they aren't letting you visit your boyfriend at the hospital, is that it? I'm sorry. :( I don't know what to suggest. Maybe another member will have some solid advice for you later.
Wishing you the best at this terrible time. :pray:
07-15-2007, 02:24 PM
I am not sure what to tell you excpet that I get a sense that you are blaming yourself for his stroke because you kicked him out because of his drug use. First, it was his decision to start using again and you have no control over that.
His parents are going to do all they can to bring him back to Jesus...so to speak...and they will discourage any contact with you. If this man loves you he will find his way back to you. You may have to be patient to see what the outcome will be. He evidently cared enough about you to discontinue his drug usage for a time, but addiction is very powerful. Hopefully, the stroke will be his wake up call but there is no guarantee of this.
Are they even allowing you to visit him while he is in the hospital? Have you seen him since he had the stroke?
I do not have the answers you need, but hang in there and keep us posted.
07-15-2007, 02:32 PM
I'm SO SORRY that this happened to you. Like the others here, I don't have a lot of advice, except that if I were you I would continue to be his friend and confident if possible. Also, losing his memory doesn't mean that he's brain dead or dying, he probably needs therapy to recover his memory. His parents should be ASHAMED of themselves for putting him on the street. Also, I would encourage this man to fight for life and go to rehab. Where there's life, there's hope.
I wish I could just give you a big hug...hang in there.
07-19-2007, 07:40 AM
When he was here in houston I did visit him. Now that he is in their "territory" in Beumont they asked that I not call or visit him. They preached on and on about how homosexuality is a sin and gave me the whole bible story. They advised me that I needed to get over him and move on. I had explained to them its not that easy. Feelings are feelings no matter if it is between two men or between a man and a woman. I felt as she was being so hypocritical becuase she damned him to hell and judged me but she claimed she is so religous. God's #1 requirment was to love everyone and they are not doing that. I had got into a heated argument with his aunt becuase she gave me the whole Sodome and Golliah story. I called her ignorant becuase she wasnt fully aware of the real world and the real story behind that. I was outraged and tired of being preached the whole homosexual issue pertaining to the bible. His whole family has turned against me when I was the first person he was with that he actually changed for and bettered himself. It is very depressing and heartbreaking for them to be so happy for me at first and now they ashamed me.
07-27-2007, 01:00 AM
First of all, WELCOME!
I'm really sorry, I'm not any help either... I don't even know what to say.
:love: :love: :love: (((hugs))) :love: :love: :love:
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