Yesterday, I got jumped

[andrewlittle]

There I was, innocently trying to leave a town just south of Pittsburgh, and along comes Keltic63 and he jumps me. It was very handy, considering I'd left the lights on and the battery had run dead.

We had a wonderful visit over lunch with Steve and Sawyer. It's too bad he was almost home before I realized the car wouldn't start. Steve, however, was a gentleman when he returned and promised only moderate razzing.

More details as I have time.

[u-dog]

He got "jumped" by a gay guy AND he was grateful for the experience... hmmmm....

[keltic63]

Yes, I admit it. I jumped Andy, which isn't quite the same as humping Andy, but there you have it.

While it's perfectly understandable that Andy would say glowing things about his conversation with me and my youngest son, I'm just not able to say the same about him. Jenna? the woman is a saint. She'd have to be to be yoked with the likes of Andy. Imagine all his gruffness here, then magnified 10x and presented to you in living reality. Yes, friends, I endured a meal with this man, and lived to tell about it. For the sake of the children, I'll spare you the details. my 9yo will someday write about this in his college composition class and refer to it as his "loss of innocence." a few years of therapy may help.

U-dog: he's only straight because no self-respecting gay man would have him. Jenna surely views him as her "cross to bear" and knows that this suffering will be recounted during the beatification process, as they nominate her for canonization.







The preceding statements may or may not be accurate. Names have not been changed. The meal may have been quite pleasant. There was indeed a 50 mile detour to resurrect Andy's battery, but then people that age tend to forget things like turning off the headlights. No animals were injured in the creation of this post. Your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device. Some restrictions may apply.

[Zerbie]

Erm. . . .:p:p

Glad y'all had a good time. :cool:

[pnggrad79]

LOL:lol::lol::lol:

I remember one time when I was married to my ex husband, I was late to school one day because my car battery was dead when I tried to start the engine. Anyway, my principal, who I strongly suspect hadn't gotten laid in quite awhile, was not happy with me because I was late. When I got there, I immediately started in with my explanation of why I was late, and I said, "I am sorry I am late, but my husband had to jump me." She cleared her throat and said, "He should have done that last night and not this morning!!" I didn't realize what I had said to elicit such a response. Anyway, I didn't get fired, just glared at.:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Steve, you are a great guy going out of your way to help Andrew. That is what a Christian is supposed to be all about and you are a fine example. :D
Andrew, be grateful for the gay people in your life! I know you are!

[BrentRichards]

LOL:lol::lol::lol:

I remember one time when I was married to my ex husband, I was late to school one day because my car battery was dead when I tried to start the engine. Anyway, my principal, who I strongly suspect hadn't gotten laid in quite awhile, was not happy with me because I was late. When I got there, I immediately started in with my explanation of why I was late, and I said, "I am sorry I am late, but my husband had to jump me." She cleared her throat and said, "He should have done that last night and not this morning!!" I didn't realize what I had said to elicit such a response. Anyway, I didn't get fired, just glared at.:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Steve, you are a great guy going out of your way to help Andrew. That is what a Christian is supposed to be all about and you are a fine example. :D
Andrew, be grateful for the gay people in your life! I know you are!

I had a college professor who came hustling into class late one day, huffing and puffing, and obviously flustered by the fact that her volkswagon wouldn't start that morning. Unfortunately, she announced it like this: "Sorry I'm late. The rabbit died."

[Vanessa White]

Andy, so glad that Keltic came to your rescue! Am I going to see you also in a couple of weeks? I am coming to Pittsburgh starting August 6 for some training for my new job, will be there for ten days. I would be glad to rescue you and Jenna if you two break down again (just remember to turn off those lights next time.....) :)

[BruceChris]

Did you say that Andy was *as cross as a bear*, or that he was *too cross to bear*?

P&L, Bruce Chris

[u-dog]

Did you say that Andy was *as cross as a bear*, or that he was *too cross to bear*?

P&L, Bruce Chris

or that he's a cross-eyed bear?

[BrentRichards]

Or a cross-dressing bear, which I believe is relatively rare.

[Jennifer5]

I just love the title! Got me to open the thread. :lol:

[Sherrie Z]

If I knew more about computer graphics and had the right computer setup, there would be a photo of a "Bear Crossing" sign in this space.




But I guess we'll have to settle for this bonus question:


What do you get when you cross a bear with a dead battery?


A grizzly scene?

A bear brought up on battery charges?

Would that battery case result in the filing of a bear suit?

[paul]

whew. I can't bear any more of this thread. I bearly got through the whole thing.

[andrewlittle]

I post some nice comments about what's his name and his adorable son, Sawyer, and then leave for a few days, and what do I find when I get back? That I have been severely maligned behind my back, that's what. I would have thought that Steve would have appreciated the excessive amount of time it took to try to find something nice to say about him, by takng just a few moments to recount his joy in meeting me - and Jenna, of course.

Gruff - you ain't seen gruff, yet, chrome dome. At least I had the common decency to use utensils and a napkin during lunch. I couldn't believe how much you ate, and the generally unhealthy nature of it as well. And, while normally what you do with your feet under a table is your business, that changes when I'm sitting across from you. It wasn't sufficient that I had to watch you stuff enormous amounts of food into your mouth, but then to suffer the stench of your malodorous feet besides.

Jenna mentioned that you were just "so sweet", but I made sure she knew that you were desperately in need of affirmation and being made to feel useful. So what do I do? I fake a dead battery so you feel like a hero - shamelessly massaging your immense ego - and allow you to magnimously come to the rescue. Well, we'll see if I do that again.

Just so you know, StevE, this means war. And don't think that good looks, boyish charm and that oh-so-annoying good manners are going to save you - I'll have you for lunch (on me next time).

[scott snedeker]

Or a cross-dressing bear, which I believe is relatively rare.

He would need to remove hair so that his skin would be bare. Perhaps he could use nair! Though I don't think he'd dare, apply it to everywhere there's hair. :D

[u-dog]

He would need to remove hair so that his skin would be bare. Perhaps he could use nair! Though I don't think he'd dare, apply it to everywhere there's hair. :D


au contraire! His despair might make him repair to his lair to use nair and become bare EVERYwhere.

[sailaway58]

Might I suggest for the next breakdown?:


http://www.aaa.com/AAA/Common/ZipCode/zipcode4.jpg

[andrewlittle]

I hate to break this rolling, rhyming banter with a serious post, but ... okay, that's not true - I don't hate to. Anyway, you folks can continue to discuss my hair, lack of it, removal of it, and placement of it all you want. If I could figure out how to hold the camera behind me while bending over, I would post a picture of the hairiest part of my anatomy - you just have to settle for the sentiment - it is the thought that counts. So you are saved the image of Andy bear-assed naked, and StevE's son, Sawyer, is saved several more years of counseling.

Anyway, to the point. What began with meeting StevE face-to-face, if that was in fact his face, continued to be a great trip through several states.

Jenna and I went on a reconnaisance mission to check out the communities around several churches that are considering me as a minister. It was the kind of trip I liked - travelling the underbelly of cities/towns with which I am not familiar. We stayed mostly at transient/indigent motels, and tried to see the churches' communities from the underneath to see what ministry opportunites existed and how they lined up with what the churches wrote in their Church Information Files.

We spent a little time in the Schenectady area, Litchfield in southern New Hampshire, Hartford in southern Maine, Haverhill in northern Mass (too suburban for me), and the Binghampton area, doing quick and dirty social analysis. The two NY churches seemed to be most informed about their communities, social locations and innadequacies in regard to connecting with neighbors. The others seemed to show a definite lack of knowledge about the general conditions that surround them - various stages of cluelessness, I guess.

When we got back, I had two more inquiries - one from another church in the Albany area, and the other from near Wilkes-Barre PA. The general area of the north-east seems to be where we are being drawn.

If anyone has interesting information or knowledge of these areas, I'd love to hear it - even in cheezy rhyme.

I would like to clarify that it really was a joy meeting Steve (Keltic) and he was very much as I had imagined him. Despite his comments above, I know that he really, really enjoyed meeting me, as well. Being insecure and, well, inadequate in such a great many ways, he just can't bring himself to admit it. The next time we meet, however, I just hope that he doesn't look at me each time he makes that retching sound. It's quite unnerving. I was beginning to wonder whether he had a hairball, but it struck me that his sweety is just as hairless - so that couldn't be it.

[u-dog]

[QUOTE=andrewlittle;36325]

If anyone has interesting information or knowledge of these areas, I'd love to hear it - even in cheezy rhyme.

QUOTE]


When I was boy.... I lived in Troy. It was a joy! I was bold and not yet old and didn't mind the cold. :cool:

[Jennifer5]

When I was boy.... I lived in Troy. It was a joy! I was bold and not yet old and didn't mind the cold. :cool:

:rofl:

If this isn't talent being wasted I don't know what is :lol:

[BrentRichards]

When we got back, I had two more inquiries - one from another church in the Albany area, and the other from near Wilkes-Barre PA. The general area of the north-east seems to be where we are being drawn.

If anyone has interesting information or knowledge of these areas, I'd love to hear it - even in cheezy rhyme.

The town of Wilkes-Barre is no place to be a fairy. [You'll have to prounounce the name of the town nearly right for this to rhyme ... actually, the correct pronunciation is somewhere between Fairy and Farrah]

Questionable rhymes aside, the sentiment is probably still pretty on target. I was born in Wilkes-Barre, and grew up a bit southwest of there. It's a very economically depressed area, while also being on the rural/backwoods/redneck side. Some of my family is still there, and when I visit, it's remarkable to me how bad it is. The downtown area, where I remember doing all our Christmas shopping in my younger years, is completely barren. It's sad. That being said, there are no doubt many viable ministry opportunities to be had. The area tends to be very socially conservative, but politically mixed ... Republicans and Teamster Democrats. I'd guess that even the Dems there would look relatively conservative to many people. It used to be an area with really neat ethnic neighborhoods, complete with their own identities, groceries, bakeries, etc ... Syrian, Irish, Greek, Italian, etc ... I don't think that's true any more. Racially, it is not very diverse, though it is certainly more so now than when I was young.

Not a great sales pitch, I suppose, but it's still home. Sort of.