Name's Ryanne, well Devin

[Ryanne Monday]

You would think that life at this stage of youth should be easy going. I expected so, but it's not the first time I've been wrong. I'm a sixteen year old girl caught in those middle stages of High School and will be entering as a Jr. this coming fall, oh the joys. A time period for some last minute goofing off and growing up before preparing for college.
My frist name's Devin but I don't carry the taste and so go by my middle name Ryanne. I'v accepted being gay since....13? Maybe 14. But it feels strange just even typing it out here, for strangers to veiw. But they say the best listener is a stranger and that's kinda why I'm here.
My life has enetered that identity stage of where I need to decide which path to take and the stress of the future weighs heavily. And all the while I want someone special to share the weight and laugh with but the restrictions of expectations hold me back from expressing myself.
But I'm sure you all know how that goes.
I'm here to find advice and a useful direction to take to free myself of my family's shadow. I'm tired of standing in the closet in basic.
Other then that I don't bite and talk WAY too much and would love anything anyone could give to me. I just need to figure out how to go about living in this lifestyle with the freedom I want. I can't bare to pretend to have intrest in the passing by guys that my mother points out to me. And another prom is gonna kill me. lol.
Hello, My name is Ryanne. Nice to meet you, and have a great day!

[u-dog]

Welcome Ryanne!

You definately came to the right place. As you know if you have been reading these forums there are folks of all ages (14 to 70+) here and thats just among the "chatty" ones. Among the lurkers? who even knows. I'm sure that the other "teens" will check in with you before long.

We love to give advice but we TRY to wait until somebody asks something specific. We often fail at that... like now for instance.

As a fifty year old just coming out I can relate to the desire to live authentically and I DON'T recommend that you wait as long as I have. But 16 is still young. You have lots of time. Whatever you do be sure that you are being safe. If there is any chance that you will be kicked out of your home then keep the secret a little longer until you are prepared to support yourself. I hope this is not the case for you ... but be careful.

You will find much support and love here. Welcome!

[keltic63]

Welcome Ryanne!

there are plenty of other young people here: tpdncr, jennifer, elcharrom, I'm sure they can relate to your challenges. then there are also the adults who are a wealth of wisdom and advice, you just have to speak up so they can hear you :lol:

and when someone points out a young guy passing by, just say "he's not my type" and let it go at that.

[paul]

Hi Ryanne well Devin (both are really nice names):wave:

Welcome. I'm glad you found this place and are writing, that is, sharing your self. I believe that's very important, and I think you realize that at some level when you say you are "tired of standing in the closet." That's a sad and lonely place, no one should have to live in a closet. As a dad, I kind of go the same direction as u-dog and want you to be safe. You are who you are right now and you don't know if you have tomorrow (no one does), so figuring out how to live today is the challenge. Unfortunately it's harder for a 16 year old than an 18 year old even, for some obvious reasons. I think u-dogs advice to keep your secret from your family may be a wise one, unless you know they will support you (which it doesn't sound like). That's rotten to have to be secret to those you should be able to share anything with (your family), but as you know it doesn't always work that way. Meanwhile it is very smart and right to find some people (like here) who you can be exactly who you are with. You should not feel pressure from anyone to identify as gay, straight, or otherwise. That is a process of self discovery. This is a way for you to venture from the closet without being hurt. It may take some time for your eyes to adjust to the light of being out, to adjust to the extra space of being able to move around and express your self. I know web sites are not face time, they are not ideal, but it's better than what you have had (nothing?). Try opening up in a safe place for awhile before you venture into unknown or hostile territory so you can begin to know your self in relationship to others rather than just the closet knowledge of your self.

we're with you
paul

[Ryanne Monday]

Thanks so much guys!
Well I'm glad to know I'm not the only one still fighting off puberty. lol. I just do all the reserch about poeple coming out and them all talking about how they wished it was sooner and with prom coming up again I'd just like to do it right. But I do see the wisdom in your words.
I currently work full time durring the summer saving for exactly this, I tell mother it's for a new car, but it's more just basic needs. School starts and I'll work around thirty hours a week. Other then just saving money I have gathered a close knit of friends that I trust my life with to ctach if I do fall, they all live pretty close so if worst did come to worst I could walk if driving revoked.
It's nice to know that there is someone that I can at least relate too. I live in a small town, like every person know's the guy across the street type of deal. You can imagine how being gay spreds like wildfire, and mostly not in a positive way.
Something specific?
Okay, er how about, how would you guys go about confessing your feelings to a close friend? Like really close? And the extent of your feelings?

Thanks a again guys and pleased to meet you!

[Daniel]

My life has enetered that identity stage of where I need to decide which path to take and the stress of the future weighs heavily. And all the while I want someone special to share the weight and laugh with but the restrictions of expectations hold me back from expressing myself.

Hi Devin,

Weclome to the forum.

Thoughts of the future can weight heavily. Especially with the high cost of higher education now.

There may be another way to look at this matter- and that is looking at the past. How about giving some thought as towards your interests as a kid? What were you into? What dreams did you have?

There's an interesting book you might want to read that will help you think about this sort of thing.

The Soul's Code by James Hillman. The book is a meditation on how one's life purpose shows up early in life. I found it to be very helpful at one point in my life. It confirmed that I was in the right 'place'.

You know, when you are involved in stuff that makes you energized and time seems to fly by- that's when you become very attractive to other people. ;) I bet you'll find that you won't have any problem finding someone to share your joys and sorrows with.

~

Coming out to a friend?

I would choose that friend very wisely, expecially, since you note that one's business can easily turn into everyone else's business.

Coming out gets easier with time.

I would use my gut feeling. If it doesn't feel right, wait. The need to be 'out' should not outweigh the circumstances of your environement, especially if that environment is decidedly anti-gay.

[pnggrad79]

Hi Ryanne,
Welcome. It is refreshing to see young people coming out so young and realizing it. For us dinosaurs, it took a lot longer to do that and a lot more time for our families to accept us. (Mine still hasn't, but I am not giving up hope). I hope your coming out experience has been good and no stress has been caused because of it. Good luck this year in school and we look forward to your posts.:)

[u-dog]

Hi Ryanne,

It depends on what you mean by "really close" and the reason that you want to come out to that person.

If this is your really close friend (but you are not romantically interested or you know for a fact that she is straight) then clarify in your own mind WHY you want her to know this. (for instance you just want your friend to really know and understand you) then be careful to articulate THAT motivation to your friend. Remember that straight people often think that YOU being gay is somehow about THEM. They also tend to imagine that ALL OF THEM are somehow attractive to us... (:eek: As if!) It is important that you be clear that you ARE NOT COMING ON TO THEM.

(interesting aside: Isn't it funny how THEY are the healthy ones, WE are the sick ones, and yet WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THEM? kinda makes you wonder doesn't it? :))

If this is a person that you ARE ROMANTICALLY INTERESTED IN then its important to seperate the fact that a) you are gay and b) you are interested in them. If you come out FIRST and let them deal with that for a while, then if they are able to respond to you romantically, they may take the next step of disclosing to you. Then you are free to procede romantically.

If they don't come out to you then either they are not gay or they are not ready. Then you must wait and let them get used to the idea that you are gay and that you think that that is OK. Later, (weeks? months?) you may be able to ask them if there is anyhing about YOUR experience that parallels THEIR experience.

Integrity and clarity about your own motives is really important.

Dave

[Zerbie]

Welcome Ryanne/Devin,

You've gotten some great responses already! I don't really have anything to add. Just take it slow and be safe, whatever you do. Listen to that intuition and if you get a gut feeling that says "don't say this to So n So," then LISTEN to that feeling!

You have no obligation to slap a label on yourself, either now or ever. Let life unfold as it will.

[Gennee]

It's a pleasure to meet you Ryanne and welcome.

Gennee

:)

[Ryanne Monday]

It's complicated (when is it not. lol)
I think my friend is straight, but she seems romantically attached to me, but it's hard to tell sometimes with these fem girls. lol. I've know her for... wow, years. Seven? Eight? Around there.
We do everything together. But I just can't figure a way to approch the topic. I don't want to just blurt it out and I'm afraid of losing that close friendship we have.
Then ironically my family hates her. Probs because she's so attached to me, like at the hip, we're always doing something together.

No I like old people. lol. Dinosaurs are the greatest, you guys always have the best stories, and my grandparents are long gone now. It's nice just to listen to you guys. The way you speak is much different from people my own age, it's refreshing.
Thanks again guys (i'll be saying that a lot I feel)

[BruceChris]

Forums. (well, 99.9% of the time).

Although this space is for LGBT Christians, we have some very nice people who are not one, or the other, or both, even. But they're nice people.

You mention Oregon, are you near any of the larger cities? Places like that often have PFLAG groups, or drop in centers, or other places where you can meet good people, maybe people like you, and form support systems.

In Minneapolis we even have District 202, which is a drop in center for LGBT youth. But I don't think that they do much online, and it's way too far to walk.

You can always come here and chat with us, but I would guess that having a real, live, flesh and blood person that you could confide in would be a real asset in your life, right now. :rainbow: Thoughts? :wave:

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

[elcharrom]

Hey Ryanne (how do you pronounce that:confused: haha is it like Ryan or is like Ry-Anne????) Either way you gonna like it here, and like everyone here is tellin you, we all know what you going thru, of course listen to what they have to say, they know haha, they been at this for some time so they know a thing or two bout what it's like, I know it's hard sometimes but just lift your head, chin up, and say this is going to be allright:D. So shalom bienvenidos, nihau, (I'm running out of languages here haha) bonjour, gutentag, wilkomen, and I dont know, will welcome!!!!! work for you?:cool:

[Jennifer5]

there are plenty of other young people here: tpdncr, jennifer, elcharrom, I'm sure they can relate to your challenges. then there are also the adults who are a wealth of wisdom and advice, you just have to speak up so they can hear you :lol:

You've heard from elcharrom now... and here I am, very glad to have you here! Austin (tpdncr4christ) will probably show up in about a week... he's off to camp... but these guys are great! Glad to have you to add to that list!! :love:



It's nice to know that there is someone that I can at least relate too. I live in a small town, like every person know's the guy across the street type of deal. You can imagine how being gay spreds like wildfire, and mostly not in a positive way.
Something specific?
Okay, er how about, how would you guys go about confessing your feelings to a close friend? Like really close? And the extent of your feelings?

Thanks a again guys and pleased to meet you!
Sorry... I can't help much here... I've never been one to be able to tell a person I like them. (mostly because I tend to fall for people alot older then me)

But can I ask where in Oregon?? Or at least, coast? east?

It's complicated (when is it not. lol)
I think my friend is straight, but she seems romantically attached to me, but it's hard to tell sometimes with these fem girls. lol. I've know her for... wow, years. Seven? Eight? Around there.
We do everything together. But I just can't figure a way to approch the topic. I don't want to just blurt it out and I'm afraid of losing that close friendship we have.
Then ironically my family hates her. Probs because she's so attached to me, like at the hip, we're always doing something together.

No I like old people. lol. Dinosaurs are the greatest, you guys always have the best stories, and my grandparents are long gone now. It's nice just to listen to you guys. The way you speak is much different from people my own age, it's refreshing.
Thanks again guys (i'll be saying that a lot I feel)

Ugg... girls... we really can be hard to read can't we? So close and friendly with one another that you really can't tell if something is more then just friendship to someone. Really nice on one hand... but there can be that challenging side to it too.

Our dinosaurs really are sweet... you'll grow to love them very quickly. Although, they probably will be upset if we continue to call them that. The people on here are full of advice, love, and support!


Really glad to have you here! (Finally another girl... seems like there aren't very many of us that stick around) Hope you enjoy these forums as much as I do! The people here will quickly feel like family! :love: Hope you stick around, Welcome!!

[u-dog]

Our dinosaurs really are sweet... you'll grow to love them very quickly. Although, they probably will be upset if we continue to call them that. The people on here are full of advice, love, and support!


GRRRrrrrrr.....

<<< turns his big scaley head and bares his huge pointy teeth. Drools hungrily ....>>>

SNAP!!! SNAP!!!


:love:;):love:

[JuanieH]

Hi Ryanne!
I've been lurking around, but I joined a while ago. You'll really like being here. Being a teenager too, I'm sort of in the same place as you right now...I haven't really chatted up yet, but it's nice to read some of the topics posted. Hope you stay active!


*edit*
I'm sort of going through the same thing with a close friend, so if you ever want to talk about it, just shoot me a message.

[Ryanne Monday]

elcharrom,
It's Ry-Anne. But friends call me Ry or just Devin usually. Whatevers easier. Which btw, do you have a way to shorten your name. I'll never spell it write (:lol:) perhaps Shikamaru? Naruto fan?

Jennifer5,
I live out in farm land. Look up: Wallowa. lol. Yeah, WAY over there. I go up to Washougal a lot though for Moto. Love it up there. Though today I learned the family will be moving to a little place outside portland called Tigard. I've looked it up and it's much bigger then what I'm used to but I'll be closer to a city and a new High School sound fun. We move at the end of September.
Yeah girls are clingy but fun. I tried talking to my friend but it kinda blew up in my face. She got real defensive, said she was okay with it but I can just tell she was tense. Guess I've known her that long to read her. That and the whole moving thing threw her big time.
Her birthday's on thursday so perhaps my timing was screwy but it really just fell out after I've been thinking about it for all these months. I feel a bit bad. I haven't even got her a gift yet...great. lol

Everyone else,
Hey guys! I like to talk and if you guys got any questions or anything feel free to ask or tell. I'm an even better listener.
Thanks (again)

[Jennifer5]

Jennifer5,
I live out in farm land. Look up: Wallowa. lol. Yeah, WAY over there. I go up to Washougal a lot though for Moto. Love it up there. Though today I learned the family will be moving to a little place outside portland called Tigard. I've looked it up and it's much bigger then what I'm used to but I'll be closer to a city and a new High School sound fun. We move at the end of September.
Wow that is way out there! Tigard looks nice... but I suppose moving can be kind of scary. New beginnings are nice I think. It seems a little weird that they sprung that on you so suddenly... end of September, seems really fast!



Yeah girls are clingy but fun. I tried talking to my friend but it kinda blew up in my face. She got real defensive, said she was okay with it but I can just tell she was tense. Guess I've known her that long to read her. That and the whole moving thing threw her big time.
Her birthday's on thursday so perhaps my timing was screwy but it really just fell out after I've been thinking about it for all these months. I feel a bit bad. I haven't even got her a gift yet...great. lol
I'm glad to hear that you told her. I think since she said she was ok with it then I'm sure she is... just probably shocked her. She sounds like an incredible friend, it doesn't sound like this will cause any problems between the two of you. Plus, I'm sure that you moving upset her... just alot coming at her all at once.


Hmm... questions you say? Perhaps we could move over to the "I spent the day singing..." thread over in general chat...? http://www.soulforce.org/forums/showthread.php?t=3493&page=3

elcharrom and I have been trying so hard to get Uncle StevE and everyone else off track... but we could really use some help! You don't have to read any of the other posts... we just start talking about anything.... interested??

[Ryanne Monday]

*edit*
I'm sort of going through the same thing with a close friend, so if you ever want to talk about it, just shoot me a message.[/QUOTE]

Perhaps i shall, just to share experiences. I hope everything's going well with your situation and the best of luck!

Ryanne

[elcharrom]

elcharrom,
It's Ry-Anne. But friends call me Ry or just Devin usually. Whatevers easier. Which btw, do you have a way to shorten your name. I'll never spell it write (:lol:) perhaps Shikamaru? Naruto fan?

Jennifer5,
I live out in farm land. Look up: Wallowa. lol. Yeah, WAY over there. I go up to Washougal a lot though for Moto. Love it up there. Though today I learned the family will be moving to a little place outside portland called Tigard. I've looked it up and it's much bigger then what I'm used to but I'll be closer to a city and a new High School sound fun. We move at the end of September.
Yeah girls are clingy but fun. I tried talking to my friend but it kinda blew up in my face. She got real defensive, said she was okay with it but I can just tell she was tense. Guess I've known her that long to read her. That and the whole moving thing threw her big time.
Her birthday's on thursday so perhaps my timing was screwy but it really just fell out after I've been thinking about it for all these months. I feel a bit bad. I haven't even got her a gift yet...great. lol

Everyone else,
Hey guys! I like to talk and if you guys got any questions or anything feel free to ask or tell. I'm an even better listener.
Thanks (again)
Haha isnt naruto fan or shikamaru even more typing? Call me watever you want, just tell me so Ill know ok?:D And you know what naruto is? Well Im not really a fan, I just seen a few episodes and it had Shikamaru in it, and hes kinda like me so Im like coo (I know hes fake but still haha)

[u-dog]

Haha isnt naruto fan or shikamaru even more typing? Call me watever you want, just tell me so Ill know ok?:D And you know what naruto is? Well Im not really a fan, I just seen a few episodes and it had Shikamaru in it, and hes kinda like me so Im like coo (I know hes fake but still haha)


I take it that your Avatar picture is a character named "Shikamaru"? How about we call you "Shika" ?

[elcharrom]

I take it that your Avatar picture is a character named "Shikamaru"? How about we call you "Shika" ?
If yall want to then Im cool with it. Shika haha sounds funny

[Ryanne Monday]

I'm with U-dog, Shika sounds good and it's fun to say.
Plus points.
How is everyones day going?

[Jennifer5]

How is everyones day going?

Ugg, started good. But because of the garbage with my dad they're making my sister and I go to a therapist, which I HATE. :(

How's yours?

[elcharrom]

Ugg, started good. But because of the garbage with my dad they're making my sister and I go to a therapist, which I HATE. :(

How's yours?I get what you getting at, my mom made me go see a therapist. My day went good, haha today some people walked into the store dressed in elvis costumes, saying they were having some elvis thing, haha they was all saying stuff in low voices:lol: And there was women elvis, old elvisses, kid elvises, the baby elvis was so cute haha.

[Jennifer5]

I get what you getting at, my mom made me go see a therapist. My day went good, haha today some people walked into the store dressed in elvis costumes, saying they were having some elvis thing, haha they was all saying stuff in low voices:lol: And there was women elvis, old elvisses, kid elvises, the baby elvis was so cute haha.


Sounds like fun... I'd join 'em just for the heck of it. :lol:

[elcharrom]

Sounds like fun... I'd join 'em just for the heck of it. :lol:

Haha I did kinda join in, I tried to make some elvis hair out of my hair, havent gotten my haircut so I had enough, I just looked like a rooster, and wat bout you raynne? Had a good day?

[Ryanne Monday]

Jen,
Well therpist sometimes do help, it's just kinda weird when you first see them, but i'm sure your still not happy bout it. I hope your day gets brighter!

Shika,
Ha ha! I bet that was cute! My day is going okay, it's my close friends birthday today and I finally planned my gift for her, so I gotta get that to her today.

Hey U-dog, how's your day been?

[Jennifer5]

Jen,
Well therpist sometimes do help, it's just kinda weird when you first see them, but i'm sure your still not happy bout it. I hope your day gets brighter!

Today is better...

and I know that therapy is good for people... but it's just not for me. They're causing problems, not solving them. My dad if being the puppet master on the other hand, and that always causes nothing but trouble. His court order of whatever is making us go because we refuse to see or talk to him... but of course, the reasons behind that are endless, and not seeing or speaking with him was and is our final solution.

I don't want to talk to someone who is going to try and tell me that the life that I live and love is somehow wrong or lacking in something. Because that's just wrong.

(Plus, as you can see, I do talk about things and I do vent when I need to and am ready to... but I will only talk to you if you're a friend and are listening because you care... I'm not gonna talk to you if you're just listening because you're getting paid.)


Alright... sorry for that... needed to say it. :love:

[u-dog]

Jen,
Well therpist sometimes do help, it's just kinda weird when you first see them, but i'm sure your still not happy bout it. I hope your day gets brighter!

Shika,
Ha ha! I bet that was cute! My day is going okay, it's my close friends birthday today and I finally planned my gift for her, so I gotta get that to her today.

Hey U-dog, how's your day been?

Its been great! I spent a couple hours this afternoon helping a young woman prepare her statement of Faith to present to the committee that will certify her ready to be ordained. she is a bright, compassionate young woman and it was a pleasure to help hone and refine her statement!

[u-dog]

(Plus, as you can see, I do talk about things and I do vent when I need to and am ready to... but I will only talk to you if you're a friend and are listening because you care... I'm not gonna talk to you if you're just listening because you're getting paid.)


Alright... sorry for that... needed to say it. :love:


Jenn, Polly is a marriage and family therapists and one of the things she often is called upon to do is counsel with children and youth whose parents are negotiating their post-divorce lives.

Now there are good therapists and bad therapists like any other profession but the one I LIVE WITH comes home in tears sometimes because of the pain that adults put their children through. She listens because SHE CARES ABOUT KIDS and about families. She gets paid because... well because we have to eat like anybody else and because we paid out the big bucks to buy the education that would allow her to do the work she does.

I can't vouch for the therapist that you are seeing but don't assume that because she is getting paid that she doesn't care about you. In all likelihood she cares very much. The kind of active listening that a therapist does is REALLY HARD WORK. Holding your clients pain for them is not easy either. No one does this work for the money. The vast majority do it because they want to make a difference in peoples lives.

If you have this therapist's ear... USE IT. Its expensive and YOU are not paying for it. YOU are her primary client... not your Dad. she works for you. Let her do her job. If she doesn't help you... you haven't lost anything. If she does? great.

[Jennifer5]

Jenn, Polly is a marriage and family therapists and one of the things she often is called upon to do is counsel with children and youth whose parents are negotiating their post-divorce lives.

Now there are good therapists and bad therapists like any other profession but the one I LIVE WITH comes home in tears sometimes because of the pain that adults put their children through. She listens because SHE CARES ABOUT KIDS and about families. She gets paid because... well because we have to eat like anybody else and because we paid out the big bucks to buy the education that would allow her to do the work she does.

I can't vouch for the therapist that you are seeing but don't assume that because she is getting paid that she doesn't care about you. In all likelihood she cares very much. The kind of active listening that a therapist does is REALLY HARD WORK. Holding your clients pain for them is not easy either. No one does this work for the money. The vast majority do it because they want to make a difference in peoples lives.

If you have this therapist's ear... USE IT. Its expensive and YOU are not paying for it. YOU are her primary client... not your Dad. she works for you. Let her do her job. If she doesn't help you... you haven't lost anything. If she does? great.

First off... sorry Polly, I mean no offense... please don't take what I say about therapist personallly. :love:

Also, something to clarify upfront is that I completely agree, she really does care and just wants to help us take care of this situation...


The thing is, the first time we met with her, she was 100% supportive and understanding of what we said, how we felt... the whole thing, so I thought, well... maybe it won't be so bad. But this time we came in and it's a whole new deal.... different story after she saw my dad a week or two ago. All of a sudden, there was a completely different attitude. Suddenly there was this very clear thing going on where she had all these concerns about things that aren't issues. Worrying about school and friends.... even though she's been told that we go to an incredible school and have many really good friends. Just so many things... she was pushy things that are clearly things that he mentioned to her.

I could deal with it the first time.... but he's become the 'puppet master' yet again. I'm sure that she doesn't know that we feel that way, but since we do have to see her, I'll let her know that that's how I/we feel about it.

I really am going to try and make the best of it... but it's really hard when you don't believe in it, when you don't want to be there, when you just rather be in a million different places.

Does any of this make sense?

:love:

[u-dog]

First off... sorry Polly, I mean no offense... please don't take what I say about therapist personallly. :love:

Also, something to clarify upfront is that I completely agree, she really does care and just wants to help us take care of this situation...


The thing is, the first time we met with her, she was 100% supportive and understanding of what we said, how we felt... the whole thing, so I thought, well... maybe it won't be so bad. But this time we came in and it's a whole new deal.... different story after she saw my dad a week or two ago. All of a sudden, there was a completely different attitude. Suddenly there was this very clear thing going on where she had all these concerns about things that aren't issues. Worrying about school and friends.... even though she's been told that we go to an incredible school and have many really good friends. Just so many things... she was pushy things that are clearly things that he mentioned to her.

I could deal with it the first time.... but he's become the 'puppet master' yet again. I'm sure that she doesn't know that we feel that way, but since we do have to see her, I'll let her know that that's how I/we feel about it.

I really am going to try and make the best of it... but it's really hard when you don't believe in it, when you don't want to be there, when you just rather be in a million different places.

Does any of this make sense?

:love:

It all makes sense, Jenn. and I wasn't chewing you out or anything. I have total respect for you... really. I just didn't want you to throw away a good opportunity. Lay out to the therapist your concerns about your father attempting to manipulate the process with her. Tell her that you suspect that he has been telling her things that are not true. If she asks a question about somethign that you think came from him... ask her. "Did my father suggest that there are problems at school? There aren't"

She needs to know that talking to him is undermining her credibility with you.

I should shut up now. You are a smart person. You'll figure it out. :love:

[Jennifer5]

It all makes sense, Jenn. and I wasn't chewing you out or anything. I have total respect for you... really. I just didn't want you to throw away a good opportunity. Lay out to the therapist your concerns about your father attempting to manipulate the process with her. Tell her that you suspect that he has been telling her things that are not true. If she asks a question about somethign that you think came from him... ask her. "Did my father suggest that there are problems at school? There aren't"

She needs to know that talking to him is undermining her credibility with you.

I should shut up now. You are a smart person. You'll figure it out. :love:

I did sort of take what you said the wrong way... but that was my mistake.

Thank you for saying what you did though, don't shut up now, I needed to hear that. I'm going to do exactly what you said, it'll probably make things better.

It's just not a good situation... my sister and I were sitting this morning and talking to my mom about why we are upset about how things are going... and she response was "I'm so sorry girls, I hate that you're having to be put through this....." She's completely with us, so no matter what, we're not alone like kids in this situation often end up being/feeling.

Thanks Dave, it does help... even if it wasn't intended that way, when I start complaining, sometimes I just need a reality check. :love:

[Ryanne Monday]

These days passing any easier?

[Jennifer5]

These days passing any easier?

Oh yeah!!! Today was great! Planning on more days like today, next week... I really get screwed up when I go to the therapist, but I will take Dave's advice. But if nothing else, since I'm sure it'll upset me as much as ever... trying to go do something with friends the next day! Getting out of the house helps...:love:

[Ryanne Monday]

Oh yeah!!! Today was great! Planning on more days like today, next week... I really get screwed up when I go to the therapist, but I will take Dave's advice. But if nothing else, since I'm sure it'll upset me as much as ever... trying to go do something with friends the next day! Getting out of the house helps...:love:

That sounds like a pretty solid idea. Doing something to get your mind off the past. I'm sure you'll have a great time but I wish you well all the same.:love:

[Jennifer5]

That sounds like a pretty solid idea. Doing something to get your mind off the past. I'm sure you'll have a great time but I wish you well all the same.:love:


Thanks. I think that maybe, part of why I was so upset about how things went last time was that a) I knew and it was incredibly clear that my dad had spoken to her and b)I can't even the remember the last time that I felt so down and just upset... with Ray dying, I really just never knew how much I loved the guy... when something's hurting you, it makes EVERYTHING harder. :shield:

[Ryanne Monday]

Thanks. I think that maybe, part of why I was so upset about how things went last time was that a) I knew and it was incredibly clear that my dad had spoken to her and b)I can't even the remember the last time that I felt so down and just upset... with Ray dying, I really just never knew how much I loved the guy... when something's hurting you, it makes EVERYTHING harder. :shield:

That can really sting I'm sure. Having the adults move around us to manipulate our lives. It gets frustrating, especially at this stage in our lives when we're really setting down concrete of where we're going, we just kinda want to take control of our lives. They just seem to want to hold tighter though. :lol:
I don't know. I'm rambaling.

[Jennifer5]

That can really sting I'm sure. Having the adults move around us to manipulate our lives. It gets frustrating, especially at this stage in our lives when we're really setting down concrete of where we're going, we just kinda want to take control of our lives. They just seem to want to hold tighter though. :lol:
I don't know. I'm rambaling.

Nah, what you're saying makes sense.

[Ryanne Monday]

Nah, what you're saying makes sense.

At least someone thinks so. lol

So it seems my hours are too late for U-dog, which is sad. Meeting a person through snips of typed conversation sitting out. When is he usually around? and Shika?

[Jennifer5]

At least someone thinks so. lol

So it seems my hours are too late for U-dog, which is sad. Meeting a person through snips of typed conversation sitting out. When is he usually around? and Shika?

I think Dave usually keeps day hours... you know 11:00-2:00... that crazy crowd.

Shika was probably around an hour or so ago... or he may still show up tonight.

[Ryanne Monday]

I think Dave usually keeps day hours... you know 11:00-2:00... that crazy crowd.

Shika was probably around an hour or so ago... or he may still show up tonight.

I hope so, I haven't gotten to talk much to him.
People are actually awake durring the day?!:eek:

[Jennifer5]

People are actually awake durring the day?!:eek:

Yay... that what I think too... I can handle 11:00am, but much earlier is hard to handle. :eek:

[Ryanne Monday]

Yay... that what I think too... I can handle 11:00am, but much earlier is hard to handle. :eek:

Man, I'm not even alive until two. I may appear to be, but I'm far gone. :lol:
Just another great teenage skill.

[Jennifer5]

Man, I'm not even alive until two. I may appear to be, but I'm far gone. :lol:
Just another great teenage skill.

It really is... :rolleyes:

I was like that... but I have to try to move things up a bit... I can't just sleep all day, there's to much that has to be done. :o

My favorite thing though... is during the school year, I wouldn't get even close to enough sleep, so usually on Saturday night... I'll go to bed at 1:00 or so... and sleep until 3:00 in the afternoon.... 14 hours of sleep... you feel like a new person, rested up and ready to start the week over again.

Of course, then usually stay up until 2:00 that morning... get up at 7:00 so you start to lose that good feeling really quickly. :rolleyes:

[elcharrom]

It really is... :rolleyes:

I was like that... but I have to try to move things up a bit... I can't just sleep all day, there's to much that has to be done. :o

My favorite thing though... is during the school year, I wouldn't get even close to enough sleep, so usually on Saturday night... I'll go to bed at 1:00 or so... and sleep until 3:00 in the afternoon.... 14 hours of sleep... you feel like a new person, rested up and ready to start the week over again.

Of course, then usually stay up until 2:00 that morning... get up at 7:00 so you start to lose that good feeling really quickly. :rolleyes:
Gah I hate sleeping alot, it feels good to sleep, but then you start feeling more and more sleepy, then all you wanna do is sleep and lay around, aint bad doin nothing, but then it is cuz then you doing nothing, I try to keep myself doing something cuz I end up ot wanting to do nothing all day -_-":D

[Jennifer5]

Gah I hate sleeping alot, it feels good to sleep, but then you start feeling more and more sleepy, then all you wanna do is sleep and lay around, aint bad doin nothing, but then it is cuz then you doing nothing, I try to keep myself doing something cuz I end up ot wanting to do nothing all day -_-":D

exactly... I'm trying to get a little better about just going and running around for a while if I have to much energy. Run the dogs or something, anything it helps... and I'm gonna try to do swimming this fall.. after a normally long day anyway, it just finishes you off... it feels great, and then you can sleep!! :love: