New Here; I'm Shannon...

[Blessed_Highly_Favored]

Just wanted to say hello to the group & introduce myself - I'm Shannon. I'm the proud dad of two boys - 16 & 9, and have a partner of 5 years raising them with me. I grew up very Pentecostal in Washington DC, got married at 19, and went through ex-gay/reparative therapy at an Exodus ministry in DC. Obviously it didn't work; I left the church angry at God, got divorced, and went about repairing my life.

God never left me though, and the longer I was away from the church God gave me clarity about who I was. I was blessed two years ago with a substantial job promotion & relocated to Charlotte NC - it really confirmed to me that God hadn't rejected me as I'd been told all along. I have found a new church home in an affirming church with an amazingly progressive pastor.

All that said, I am here to learn to give my hands to struggle. I am so touched by what the young people are doing; I wish I had that kind of courage when I was that age.

[u-dog]

Just wanted to say hello to the group & introduce myself - I'm Shannon. I'm the proud dad of two boys - 16 & 9, and have a partner of 5 years raising them with me. I grew up very Pentecostal in Washington DC, got married at 19, and went through ex-gay/reparative therapy at an Exodus ministry in DC. Obviously it didn't work; I left the church angry at God, got divorced, and went about repairing my life.

God never left me though, and the longer I was away from the church God gave me clarity about who I was. I was blessed two years ago with a substantial job promotion & relocated to Charlotte NC - it really confirmed to me that God hadn't rejected me as I'd been told all along. I have found a new church home in an affirming church with an amazingly progressive pastor.

All that said, I am here to learn to give my hands to struggle. I am so touched by what the young people are doing; I wish I had that kind of courage when I was that age.


As one proud dad to another... Welcome Shannon! Sounds like an amazing Spiritual Journey that you've been on. I would be interested in hearing what your sons' journey has been like and how they have dealt with the experience of having two dads. (somewhre here there is a youtube video called "my two Dads" you should watch it ... it will bring tears to your eyes.

Dave (aka U-dog)

[Blessed_Highly_Favored]

I would be interested in hearing what your sons' journey has been like and how they have dealt with the experience of having two dads.

Don't even get me started on how great my kids are! It was a little tough initially for them, but they quickly adjusted and are happy and balanced. The youngest is a sports nut and a typical boy - we've nicknamed him Pigpen (like from the Peanuts?) because he's fascinated with mud pies and all things grungy. He's the sweetest boy ever though, and is very affectionate and loving.

The oldest is a junior in high school, an honor roll student, and a gifted musician. He's getting ready for college (man, I feel old!) and has a promising future ahead. He's VERY active at our church, and plays drums with the band from time to time. He's out at school about having to dads & his friends think it's cool. I'm amazed that the youth today are so much more open than when I was in school...

[keltic63]

Welcome Shannon!

another proud dad here. I'm glad to hear your kids are doing so well. My youngest sounds like yours (he's also 9) and I can't figure out where he gets it. I'm certainly no sports nut. :lol: Of course, I'm sure my parents are scratching their heads and asking the same questions......

Glad to have you here.

[pnggrad79]

Shannon,
Welcome to Soulforce. I am a lesbian mother of two girls, 19 and 16. I came out when I was 43. I married my girlfriend 3 years ago in Canada. I, too, came out of a very conservative Southern Baptist family. The only people I thought were more strict than my family, were the Pentecostals. It doesn't really matter, though, conservative is conservative.
I really want you to know that most of our journeys, yours included, have many similarities and this is a wonderful forum to receive support, share your life, joys, concerns, frustrations and things that just make you mad. I hope to hear from you more, and share your stories with us.
Best of luck to you and your family. :)

[Gennee]

Welcome to Soulforce, Shannon. Thank you for sharing your story.

Gennee

:)

[paul]

Welcome Shannon,

Yet another proud dad here as well...makes you wonder if you're at a LGBT site, eh? :D

I look forward to hearing more of your story as well as getting to know who you are now. Glad you're here, there's a great group of people here.

paul

[u-dog]

Don't even get me started on how great my kids are! It was a little tough initially for them, but they quickly adjusted and are happy and balanced. The youngest is a sports nut and a typical boy - we've nicknamed him Pigpen (like from the Peanuts?) because he's fascinated with mud pies and all things grungy. He's the sweetest boy ever though, and is very affectionate and loving.

The oldest is a junior in high school, an honor roll student, and a gifted musician. He's getting ready for college (man, I feel old!) and has a promising future ahead. He's VERY active at our church, and plays drums with the band from time to time. He's out at school about having to dads & his friends think it's cool. I'm amazed that the youth today are so much more open than when I was in school...

Sorry! I'm going to get you started about how great your kids are! :) What instrument(s) does your son play? My eldest is a violist who is majoring in Music Education at a College in Minnesota (a rising senior this year) he also sings and has taught himself the piano, the guitar, and the dulcimer. Is your son looking to do music as a career or as an avocation?

I have also been amazed by the openess of the younger generation. it gives me great hope for the future. My three boys were amazingly supportive when Polly and I disclosed our situation to them (I am still married to my very loving and supportive wife) and all three have had out glbt friends through High School and now in College as well.

[keltic63]

Sorry! I'm going to get you started about how great your kids are! :) What instrument(s) does your son play? My eldest is a violist who is majoring in Music Education at a College in Minnesota (a rising senior this year) he also sings and has taught himself the piano, the guitar, and the dulcimer. Is your son looking to do music as a career or as an avocation?

I have also been amazed by the openess of the younger generation. it gives me great hope for the future. My three boys were amazingly supportive when Polly and I disclosed our situation to them (I am still married to my very loving and supportive wife) and all three have had out glbt friends through High School and now in College as well.

alright then, time to brag about mine too (as if I haven't done enough of that here the forums.) My oldest son is a great guitarist who plans on working in the music business. He has a plan worked out in which he studies for 2 years in a college known for its business program, then transfers to another college for the music business major. He's a terrific songwriter too. I'm proud, and a bit jealous, because he is doing the things that I would have loved to do, had I known what I was doing when I was that age. My daughter is entering her sophomore year in music education and is the assistant drum major to the rather large university band. She too is doing awesome things. she plays french horn and has beautiful voice, that I hope she will develop while she's in the music program. the 9yo is interested in guns, football, star wars, and history, esp. WWII. He has always been a good singer, and in the next year or 2 I'll be making sure he plays some kind of instrument.

So Shannon, Spill it, tell us more about those amazing musical kids!

Paul, it is funny, isn't it? a gay site with all these moms and dads!

[elcharrom]

Welcome Shannon, you make me wanna have kids more when I get older, haha cant wait :D

[u-dog]

Paul, it is funny, isn't it? a gay site with all these moms and dads!

Moms and Dads of totally amazing kids, I might add. Gay people make better parents... what can we say?

[paul]

Moms and Dads of totally amazing kids, I might add. Gay people make better parents... what can we say?


This is true u-dog. Constantine saw to it that the little known book of "Steve" was left out of the bible. In the book of Steve we learn that Cain and Abel's wive's (Jane and Mable) were the daughters of Adam and Steve. You don't hear any stories of Jane killing Mable out of jealousy, do you. Proof, gays make better parents.

[u-dog]

This is true u-dog. Constantine saw to it that the little known book of "Steve" was left out of the bible. In the book of Steve we learn that Cain and Abel's wive's (Jane and Mable) were the daughters of Adam and Steve. You don't hear any stories of Jane killing Mable out of jealousy, do you. Proof, gays make better parents.


Damn STraight!! errr.... ummmm or whatever!

[Assured]

Woah!!

Hello...i Am New Here Also...your Story Is Totally Out Of My Depth...i Am In Awe Of Your Courage...i Feel Unqualified To Say Anything Else

[scott snedeker]

Welcome to soulforce. The strength we add to each other grows evey day!

[Jennifer5]

Just wanted to say hello to the group & introduce myself - I'm Shannon. I'm the proud dad of two boys - 16 & 9, and have a partner of 5 years raising them with me. I grew up very Pentecostal in Washington DC, got married at 19, and went through ex-gay/reparative therapy at an Exodus ministry in DC. Obviously it didn't work; I left the church angry at God, got divorced, and went about repairing my life.

God never left me though, and the longer I was away from the church God gave me clarity about who I was. I was blessed two years ago with a substantial job promotion & relocated to Charlotte NC - it really confirmed to me that God hadn't rejected me as I'd been told all along. I have found a new church home in an affirming church with an amazingly progressive pastor.

All that said, I am here to learn to give my hands to struggle. I am so touched by what the young people are doing; I wish I had that kind of courage when I was that age.


Welcome Shannon!! Glad to have you here! :love:


Now, I'm going to vanish from this thread and hand it back over to the parents... I'll just go back to hijacking Steve's thread.... it's weird being surrounded by adults who all have kids my age.... :rolleyes:

[u-dog]

Welcome Shannon!! Glad to have you here! :love:


Now, I'm going to vanish from this thread and hand it back over to the parents... I'll just go back to hijacking Steve's thread.... it's weird being surrounded by adults who all have kids my age.... :rolleyes:

before you know it you will BE an adult with kids your age. May as well get comfortable with it now!

[Jennifer5]

before you know it you will BE an adult with kids your age. May as well get comfortable with it now!

True. But not toooooo soon... :love:

[u-dog]

True. But not toooooo soon... :love:


Sooner than you think! :) Believe me. I was sixteen about three years ago. then... BLAME ... I was 50. One day my kids were born then three weeks later off they went to college.

[Jennifer5]

Sooner than you think! :) Believe me. I was sixteen about three years ago. then... BLAME ... I was 50. One day my kids were born then three weeks later off they went to college.


Ok, now you have to stop... you're upsetting me... I don't want to grow up yet. :(

[keltic63]

Ok, now you have to stop... you're upsetting me... I don't want to grow up yet. :(

I'll let you in on a secret: NO ONE feels grown up. I'm still waiting to find out what that means. I had some idea of it when I looked at my parents back when I was a kid, and I know I haven't gotten there yet.

[Jennifer5]

I'll let you in on a secret: NO ONE feels grown up. I'm still waiting to find out what that means. I had some idea of it when I looked at my parents back when I was a kid, and I know I haven't gotten there yet.

That helps! :love: Thank you!


(but you better not be saying to simply to get that post count up... :rolleyes:)

[elcharrom]

Sooner than you think! :) Believe me. I was sixteen about three years ago. then... BLAME ... I was 50. One day my kids were born then three weeks later off they went to college.

Nahah, you lie :D

[Jennifer5]

Nahah, you lie :D

:rofl: Nice comeback!

[Ryanne Monday]

I'm with Jen, never want to grow up and you all sounds like great parents.

Just wanted to drop in and say HI Shannon!!!

[Jennifer5]

I'm with Jen, never want to grow up and you all sounds like great parents.

Just wanted to drop in and say HI Shannon!!!

:weee: Wonderful parents! All of you!!!


Yeah, I think growing up and having kids is a little scarier for girls to think about... because girls our age to end up mothers sometimes... and that's terrifying. Not that that will be happening to us. But to think that those things do happen... :shield:

[Ryanne Monday]

:weee: Wonderful parents! All of you!!!


Yeah, I think growing up and having kids is a little scarier for girls to think about... because girls our age to end up mothers sometimes... and that's terrifying. Not that that will be happening to us. But to think that those things do happen... :shield:

Yeah, just today I was in another argument with my own mother. And to think that one day I might end up being the same is scary. And you always here that cliched saying: "I'll never end up like my parents" going off in your head. It's a lot to think about, but I guess we have a lot of time.
But there's a chance we'll end up like all you guys. That makes it seem so much more worth it.

[Jennifer5]

Yeah, just today I was in another argument with my own mother. And to think that one day I might end up being the same is scary. And you always here that cliched saying: "I'll never end up like my parents" going off in your head. It's a lot to think about, but I guess we have a lot of time.
But there's a chance we'll end up like all you guys. That makes it seem so much more worth it.

Yeah. I'd be more then happy to become the mother that my mom is! She's incredible! But I don't want to start at 23 and I don't want to find the guys she found. Things worked out, but they could've been better... she'd agree:love:

[pnggrad79]

If we're braggin' about our kids...

I have two beautiful daughters. Jaymi, 19, is in college, has a boyfriend, works at Sam's Club, and is just a good girl. She has never drank alcohol, never had sex, doesn't do drugs, doesn't smoke and is respectful, and sweet. Jaymi has a beautiful voice and can sing, but hasn't really found a forum to let that talent shine, yet. Still working on it. Jaymi pays her bills on time and maintains her car.

Kyrie, 16, a junior this year, is in her second year on the drill team at her high school. She is in 4 Advanced Placement classes, and will have enough credits to graduate next semester in her junior year. She is 4'9, works part time at Johnny Rockets, and she, too, doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, have sex, or anything else to cause me to stay up at night worrying.

I am rather pleased with my two girls. When I came out to my father, he promptly said, "If your children succeed, it will be in spite of you, not because of you." Well, that may be true, but my children have lived with me for 6 years now, and they aren't gay, (because you know we gay people recruit innocent children and whisper into their ears when they are asleep, "You are a flaming queen, or you are a butch lesbian who wears a tool belt to bed") , they are good girls, and except for a few glitches here and there, I think I have done a pretty good job, given my being a lesbian and all. So Dad, did my girls succeed because of me, or in spite of me?:rolleyes:
Forgive me, I digress....

I know gay/lesbian people make great parents!!! Jennifer, Elcharrom, and the rest of you yunguns, ya'll will make great parents, too, someday. :)

[u-dog]

Hooray for you PNG !! You showed that old fart! Raised two fantastic heterosexuals just to spite him didn't you! Damn! But the GLBT police will be around to arrest you for sure. Missing two golden recruitment opportunities like that is disgraceful!! How will we reproduce if people like you continue to breed breeders like that? :rolleyes: Oh that's right! Its straight parents that mostly breed queers! We're probably safe.


If we're braggin' about our kids...


I know gay/lesbian people make great parents!!! Jennifer, Elcharrom, and the rest of you yunguns, ya'll will make great parents, too, someday. :)

They WILL won't they? the straight ones and the gay ones both! Its a better world then we used to live in when we can look a gay teen in the eye and tell them what great parents they will be... and know a) that they CAN and WILL be parents if they want and feel called to it and B) that they will be GOOD parents.

[Jennifer5]

If we're braggin' about our kids...

I have two beautiful daughters. Jaymi, 19, is in college, has a boyfriend, works at Sam's Club, and is just a good girl. She has never drank alcohol, never had sex, doesn't do drugs, doesn't smoke and is respectful, and sweet. Jaymi has a beautiful voice and can sing, but hasn't really found a forum to let that talent shine, yet. Still working on it. Jaymi pays her bills on time and maintains her car.

Kyrie, 16, a junior this year, is in her second year on the drill team at her high school. She is in 4 Advanced Placement classes, and will have enough credits to graduate next semester in her junior year. She is 4'9, works part time at Johnny Rockets, and she, too, doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, have sex, or anything else to cause me to stay up at night worrying.

I am rather pleased with my two girls. When I came out to my father, he promptly said, "If your children succeed, it will be in spite of you, not because of you." Well, that may be true, but my children have lived with me for 6 years now, and they aren't gay, (because you know we gay people recruit innocent children and whisper into their ears when they are asleep, "You are a flaming queen, or you are a butch lesbian who wears a tool belt to bed") , they are good girls, and except for a few glitches here and there, I think I have done a pretty good job, given my being a lesbian and all. So Dad, did my girls succeed because of me, or in spite of me?:rolleyes:
Forgive me, I digress....

I know gay/lesbian people make great parents!!! Jennifer, Elcharrom, and the rest of you yunguns, ya'll will make great parents, too, someday. :)
Man, your girls sound TOO perfect. Weird... that just doesn't really happen. :love:

...and that you! I don't really believe that children grow up to be good or bad people in spite of their parents... SOMETIMES the parents don't have much affect, but most of the time... it's because of an incredible parent that you end up with incredible kids. :love:


Its a better world then we used to live in when we can look a gay teen in the eye and tell them what great parents they will be... and know a) that they CAN and WILL be parents if they want and feel called to it and B) that they will be GOOD parents.
Isn't that true! Things get better everyday, even if not in the world at large.... in the hearts of individuals. We'll get there and I think it'll happen a lot sooner then we think. :love:

[Zerbie]

Sooner than you think! :) Believe me. I was sixteen about three years ago. then... BLAME ... I was 50. One day my kids were born then three weeks later off they went to college.

Oh, totally! Yeah!

I'm still five. I think in about ten years I'll feel old enough for high school. Maybe I'll feel old enough to drive by the time I'm 40!

[Ryanne Monday]

They WILL won't they? the straight ones and the gay ones both! Its a better world then we used to live in when we can look a gay teen in the eye and tell them what great parents they will be... and know a) that they CAN and WILL be parents if they want and feel called to it and B) that they will be GOOD parents.

Man now I want children. I can't imagine myself as a mother. Do you guys feel that you've really changed from these teenage years that us "youngsters" are in? I mean, most people talk about how foolish they were at our age but I don't feel foolish. i feel pretty smart actually! :lol:
You know, despite the whole sneaking out thing. That was foolish but at least I knew it was!

[u-dog]

Man now I want children. I can't imagine myself as a mother. Do you guys feel that you've really changed from these teenage years that us "youngsters" are in? I mean, most people talk about how foolish they were at our age but I don't feel foolish. i feel pretty smart actually! :lol:
You know, despite the whole sneaking out thing. That was foolish but at least I knew it was!


Ryanne,

I feel like I am the same person I was at sixteen, but every experience, every victory, every disappointment, every mistake has added to my understanding of myself, other people, the world, and God. I see and understand and know things that I can't tell you and you can't know until you have experienced more of life. At sixteen there are things that you simply cannot see or know or understand. but you will.

Having said that though, I also have to say that there are things that you know that I have long ago forgotten and which you will one day forget as well. There are things you can see to which I have become blind.

These are two different kinds of "wisdom" . One comes from experience. the other is born of innocence. That's why older and younger people need each other and why it is so important that young people respect their elders and that age respect and honor youth.

Anyone, young or old can be "foolish" but I don't think that you are. You are inexperienced but that isn't the same thing. You are only really foolish if you stop learning from your experience and mistakes and stop listening to the experience of others.

Short answer: I think teenagers were one of God's absolute best inventions. some grownups piss and moan about how much trouble you are. I'm not one of them. :love::love:

[crm3]

Welcome Shannon! I am the daughter of a gay man in a loving commited relationship and I want to applaud you for your obvious love of your children adn the wonderful example of acceptance and love that you've provided them. I'm glad your difficult journey turned out to be so fulfilling!

[Ryanne Monday]

Ryanne,

I feel like I am the same person I was at sixteen, but every experience, every victory, every disappointment, every mistake has added to my understanding of myself, other people, the world, and God. I see and understand and know things that I can't tell you and you can't know until you have experienced more of life. At sixteen there are things that you simply cannot see or know or understand. but you will.

Having said that though, I also have to say that there are things that you know that I have long ago forgotten and which you will one day forget as well. There are things you can see to which I have become blind.

These are two different kinds of "wisdom" . One comes from experience. the other is born of innocence. That's why older and younger people need each other and why it is so important that young people respect their elders and that age respect and honor youth.

Anyone, young or old can be "foolish" but I don't think that you are. You are inexperienced but that isn't the same thing. You are only really foolish if you stop learning from your experience and mistakes and stop listening to the experience of others.

Short answer: I think teenagers were one of God's absolute best inventions. some grownups piss and moan about how much trouble you are. I'm not one of them. :love::love:

Just wow, I agree though in many senses but I think you best captured it in: "These are two different kinds of "wisdom" . One comes from experience. the other is born of innocence."
That just says so much is so little, much like most beautiful things. I've always thought that adults were just children with more responsibilities, now I can sense that it's like that but different. You guys stand much further up, stretching with everysetp you've taken in life to see ahead wisely.
I thank you for your words. They're the best given to me in a long time.:love:

[Jennifer5]

Just wow, I agree though in many senses but I think you best captured it in: "These are two different kinds of "wisdom" . One comes from experience. the other is born of innocence."
That just says so much is so little, much like most beautiful things. I've always thought that adults were just children with more responsibilities, now I can sense that it's like that but different. You guys stand much further up, stretching with everysetp you've taken in life to see ahead wisely.
I thank you for your words. They're the best given to me in a long time.:love:

You're right, those words are perfect! :love:

Ryanne, I know what you mean, I don't feel in the least bit like the stupid teenager. Although I can of people that probably are that. I'm very happy with what I know at this point in time and one incredibly exciting thing about life... is that we get to continue to learn. :love: