View Full Version : Advice
03-20-2006, 11:52 AM
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, so if not, please redirect me tot he proper place.
As some may know, I go to liberty university. For the most part I have been in the closet and I was pursuing and exgay lifestyle (if I can give it a name) As i continue to grow in my understanding of my sexuality in relation to the Savior, i've learned and continue to learn how to accept it and apparently that has affected my ability to stay in the closet. I'm not sure when it all happened but word is getting around campus and i'm not sure how things would go if leadership got hold of that. Also this is my last semester there as well.
The reason I say all of this is because I need advice as to making a current decision. My friend asked me to go to his Sr. prom and i said yes without thinking. Now I want to go but I'm not sure what affects this could have on my life and how this could get me in trouble legally. His school is not in lynchburg but it's close enough. it's a little below roanoke and i'm not sure what all I need to consider if i'm going to go to this prom. Or maybe I should not go? What do you all think?
To be honest, part of me is frustrated that I have to think though all of this because if it was a girl, there would be nothing to really consider .
I need some major advice and prayer.
03-20-2006, 12:15 PM
how would it get you into legal trouble?
I'm so glad that you are coming to accept yourself and realize that God created you to enjoy intimacy, and that this is now a possibility in your life. I often question why some gay christians think that God would create them as homosexual, then restrict them from enjoying a fully passionate life.
When is the prom? when is graduation for you?
and of course, we'll keep you in prayer
03-20-2006, 12:28 PM
I don't know how I can help but here:love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love:(((hugs)))
03-20-2006, 12:32 PM
Prom is in april, but i won't be done school until may. I'm not graduating. I'm switching programs and going to another school.
03-20-2006, 12:51 PM
You need to find out what risks there could be if administration finds out - such as, can they expell you without you getting your credits this semester, or something like that? Or are there perhaps, NO risks from going to a dance off-campus with your friend? Then weigh that risk - if there IS one, whether you think it is substantial, or teensy tiny, with how important it is to you that you attend the prom - would you always regret not going? Or if you went and you lost credit for your semester (IF that's possible) would you regret losing your credits over a dance?
Sorry we can't help more. :love:
03-20-2006, 01:05 PM
-age of consent laws... make sure you wouldn't be accused of anything improper
-publicity... you said you're starting to come out. Attending a high school prom with another guy could be all over the news in VA. Family might see it. Friends, fellow liberty students might see it. Are you prepared for the ramifications.
-physical safety... do you know that you're going to be safe? is the school supportive of it's glbt students?
03-20-2006, 02:46 PM
Hey Zerbie- The funnything is that dancing is forbidden so yeah I could get repemanded for that. I am not sure what would happen besides me getting kicked out. I mean it's the end of the semester and the credits are gonna be worthless anyway because they don't contribute to the program i want to do. I'm in the process of trying to discern which battles to pick and which to let go.
Nathan- Man you made things a lot clearer for me as to what I need to think though. Thanks man because that's what I primarily was looking for. I'm not sure if i'll ever be ready but for some reason I feel like Its time to stop hiding and masking. I am suppose to ask my friend some questions tonight about the board of education and school's policy on same gender events and people.
if i can be transparent, I have tons of anxiety and stress about it all but for some reason, I have peace in the midst that i'm doing the right thing. I think the anxiety is coming from me being outside of my comfort zone.
03-20-2006, 03:04 PM
My request is that you would send a pm to Jamie McDaniel or to schoolboi... or a local MCC church near you. I think it would really help you to have someone talk through everything with you.
03-20-2006, 03:55 PM
Looks like your biggest risks are emotional/psychological: this could put you in a position of being out very publicly too soon, before you've gotten really used to it yourself. You might not wanna be there.
Also, somehow I was assuming a college dance - if this is high school, then there are indeed issues involving age of consent laws. If I recall correctly you're in your mid-20s, so that puts you in the position of being "the adult" amongst a room full of (possibly) minors, 16 and 17 year olds. Consider that very seriously.
I second the suggestion to PM Jamie - or someone in a position to really delve into this stuff with you.
03-20-2006, 04:22 PM
I just want to commend you on the courage to ask for advice when you just felt not so sure. And, Nathan makes such a great point about consent, as well as safety for yourself, since it will be big news when you are talking a same sex couple at a prom. I understand the feeling of not wanting to be hidden so much anymore, but disclosure has to always ensure safety, both physical and emotional, as much as possible. Along with some of the thoughts shared with you here, listen deep within your heart and decide what you think might be the best for you, the safest for you, and the one with which you can feel at ease after you choose it. I wish you peace in this and your future academic endeavors as well. Vanessa
03-20-2006, 04:41 PM
Being prepared is a good thing.
I knew my mother was eventually going to ask me if I was gay. And I knew her response would be really bad.
I transferred schools.
Got my school financing, my rent, my truck title & insurance, everything I could think of put in my name.
Among the stuff she said was the statement that she was no longer going to help me financially. I know, without a doubt, she would have taken my truck and messed with my tuition if she could have.
Really consider all the risks and be prepared.
03-20-2006, 06:33 PM
Thanks for all the advice.
well I have made a decision. Basically I got new information from my friend. His parents are flipping out about the whole thing and are threatening him if he goes though with it. It's to the point now that we can't even hang out, so I told him that I love him enough to see that it's not worth the fight. specifically since he is depended on them at the moment and who knows what they will do. Also because i don't want to be the cause of putting more strain on the relationship between him and his parents. I'm not sure what we are gonna do now that he's not allowed to hang out with me anymore. I'm sure they will move it to the point where he won't beable to call.
As of now my parents don't support me in any way and to be honest, i'm not welcomed in my dad's house being gay. I have to get going but i'll update what's going on later tonight.
03-24-2006, 08:10 AM
I am absolutely appalled at the climate created by Liberty University that creates a spirit of fear and distrust in you. Liberty U obviously needs to be renamed, Oppression University. The climate created there does not promote liberty, it promotes oppression if you are not the cookie cutter Christian they want you to be.
You came to the right place to get support and guidance and to make a lot of friends who have been there and done that. But through Christ, we are victors and not victims. It is deplorable and sad that a gay Christian in this country does not have the freedom to live as God created him/her and sad that you have to run around being afraid of everyone and everything.
I hope that you find what you need in this other school you are going to transfer to. I hope you find a warm, inviting atmosphere that accepts you for who you are. I will pray that God protects you and provides a shield for you, and that you can live as He created you to live. God Bless you.
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