Hello my name is Justin...

[leoursrouge]

Hello, my name is Justin. I am a senior at a Southern Baptist University in Missouri. I started school here back when I thought homosexuality was wrong and was trying everything I could to change who I was. That path made me depressed and started cutting... Since then I have realized that being gay isn't wrong (contrary to popular belief around here) and that I don't need to try and change myself.

I'm only out to a few people because when my parents find out, I will be kicked out of the house. I'm ok with that though, and look forward to the day when I can stop hiding who I am.

I recently started reading a little more about GLBT rights and our history, which has made me want to get involved even more, which leads me here...

[Zerbie]

Bienvenue! :)

Justin, I'm glad you found this forum. You are wise to take your time with disclosure given your circumstances. You'll have your degree soon I gather, and once you are fully on your own you won't have to worry about being kicked out. That's terrible. :( No one should have to worry about that.

I hope you'll enjoy the folks here - we have all ages and all types.

Best wishes with your final year of college, Justin, and I hope you'll be back around some more.

[scott snedeker]

Justin, There is always room here for another brother.

You are a man with the soul of man. Handsome of body and spirit. God created you gay so that you can love another of his gay children who needs you! You Honor His gift by living true to your Nature. God smiles when you make love because He shares in your joy of the gift that he has given you!

[Pablo Rafael]

Welcome to the forums. I know exactly what you mean about looking forward to the day when you can stop hiding who you are. What a messed-up society we live in where we are accepted only if we hide who we are or try to change who we are. God has created his children with great diversity and loves every one of us as we are.

Please let us get to know you better.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

[keltic63]

Welcome Justin!

I do hope you can find the support you need, not only from us, but in a trusted friend or 2 as well. This is a great group of people. don't hesitate to ask for advice. I'm sure you'll get more than you ever expected.

[dsdrane]

Welcome, Justin...and many congratulations on making it this far. It sounds like you're very grounded and have a good head on your shoulders.

I look forward to your participation here.

:):cool:

[BrentRichards]

Welcome friend! I'll add my good wishes to those of my friends above. As a counselor and professional busy-body, I'll say I'm hoping the cutting has stopped with your newfound acceptance of yourself. Naturally, self-acceptance and coming out are a beginning, not an end --don't hesitate to seek the help you need along the way, especially if you find old feelings of self-harm arising again!

Stick around, relax, converse ... this is a good place.

Brent

[paul]

Welcome Justin

You bring back memories of my own bible college experience (conservative baptist also).

Kudos on accepting your self. You will save your self and others a great deal of pain because of it. Ditto Zerbie, use wisdom in coming out. The most important person to accept you is you.

paul

[elcharrom]

Welcome Justin, reading your post brings back memories and Im so happy that God has helped me make it better :D Im also in the same situation where if my parents find out I will be kicked out but thats we're here, to have each other to lean on, I'll lean on your back, you lean on mine :D

[Assured]

Hi Justin

Welcome to your new home. Please don't add your own cutting to the cutting society we already live in. Hold your head high and walk in the beauty that God created you to be..PLEASE dont add fuel to the fire that society tries to burn us with.

You Are Loved

[Gennee]

Welcome to Soulforce, Justin By the way, what are you studying in school?

Gennee

:)

[Depdem]

Welcome!
So similar, you and I, at least in what you said. Only I was ordered to believe in the Pope.

Glad to have you onboard and God Bless!

[mjules]

Funny, I stopped cutting when I accepted my sexuality, too. Funny what we'll do when we can't accept ourselves, isn't it?

I'm so glad you aren't trying to change who you are anymore! That's the kind of news that makes me happy. <3 And good luck on finishing your college degree - it's gotta be hard to have changed your mind and now be in the middle of all that. I was in such conflict that I dropped out of a similar environment (a very fundamentalist church) before I actually got around to accepting myself, but it's hard enough because a lot of my friends are still in it.

We're glad to have you here!

[archyboi]

Good for you, Justin. Very brave. Stay strong. By "cutting" are you refering to cutting yourself with a razor? A friend of mine is a Professor of Rhetoric at UALR -- University of Arkansas at Little Rock. She had a student submit a paper titled Razor Boy. He felt and did just at you did. He thought he was so ugly on the inside he just couldn't deal with it and had to cut himself to make the outside look the same. Just writing to her his deepest thoughts helped him -- he came to her and the whole class. She considers it a great honor to make her classroom a safe place for students to be themselves and accept their own beauty.

May I suggest a few books for you. John Shelby Spong's Living in Sin? is excellent. Nearly 20 years old and still very relevant and helpful. Check out www.godmademegay.com for Bruce Lowe's A Letter to Louise. He's a retired Baptist minister. You'll be blown away. Read M.D.s, Glenn Wilson & Qazi Rahman's Born Gay: The Psychology of Sex Orientation, c2005. A must read. Find Reichen Lehmkuhl's book, Here's What We'll Say. An honest portrayal of his coming of age in the US Air Force Academy. You'll relate to his feelings and college experience. What he says about fundamentalist Christianity will get your attention. You will relate to him. He actually thought he was ugly and that the reason he thought people avioded him because he was so repuslive. Reichen thought this. Have you seen him??!! That is majorly messed up. Eric Anderson's Trailblazing is very good too. Read a very good scholarly paper by Dr. Jeffery Jensen, We See What We Believe: The Heterosexualization of Gay Men and Lesbians in the LDS Church, http://www.lds-mormon.com/wswwb.shtml.

These will help you and make your life a little happier I hope.

Now for some fun reading. Find Mary Renault's The Charioteer, The Last of the Wine, Fire from Heaven & The Persian Boy. They will blow you away. She was a lesbian historical author British expat who moved to South Africa with her wife to get out of England's oppressive anti-gay environment so she could write what she wanted. She is an icon and heroine. Did you know that Cary Grant, Sir Alec Guniness, Sir John Gielgud and Sir Ian McClellan were -- and are -- all gay? It's true. Old Obi-Wan Kenobi and Grandalf the White were played by gay actors!!!

You should check out www.xy.com too.

Let me know what you think?

kev

[Jennifer5]

Welcome, glad to have you here! :)