I won't be posting for awhile

[ladyinred]

I have not really felt well lately,I don't want to go into reason.but lately I have had a pretty hard time dealing with memories and flashbacks from my childhood as a result I have e severe depression, I am going to counseling but right now I just feel a great big weight on my shoulders. I hope this too will pass.

[u-dog]

I have not really felt well lately,I don't want to go into reason.but lately I have had a pretty hard time dealing with memories and flashbacks from my childhood as a result I have e severe depression, I am going to counseling but right now I just feel a great big weight on my shoulders. I hope this too will pass.

Lady,

I know personally, the demon of which you speak. I will pray for you! Remember just because it SEEMS TO YOU like life sucks... it doesn't really suck. You can't trust your perceptions when you are in the clutches of the demon! You are loved.

Dave

[Zerbie]

I have not really felt well lately,I don't want to go into reason.but lately I have had a pretty hard time dealing with memories and flashbacks from my childhood as a result I have e severe depression, I am going to counseling but right now I just feel a great big weight on my shoulders. I hope this too will pass.

Hi Lady,

I've spent a great deal of time in flashbacks and am coping with chronic PTSD. It's hell on earth, isn't it? I know. I'm sorry. You'll get through this latest batch and life will go on again.

I'm glad you have the support of a counselor. Have you got some self-help books that give tips on getting through a flashback? I've found all kinds of things that help me in various ways, and you really have to experiment to come up with what works well for you. That "bag of tricks" can made the flashback much more bearable, and even shorten it.

Hang in there. Do something that nurtures the scared part of you.

[Emproph]

-The bowels of hell of course. For all the time I spend here I'm surprised I haven't run into you yet.. :lol: but seriously :shifty:

[dsdrane]

I'm so sorry to hear you've been suffering. I've struggled in the recent past with anxiety stemming from PTSD, and the assistance I sought and found was invaluable.

All best wishes to you for feeling better as soon as possible.

We're always here....:love:

[ladyinred]

Thank you all for your suppot and kindness. I do have professional help but because of the emotional anxiety and it's intensity I ofnten do't feel like even getting up or doing anything. I feel drained. I know it's tough for LGBT people living in a hostile environment. I can fully understand why it can be tough and why many need psychological help. Anxiety and depression are hard to deal with but it also seems like I'm fighting with my own homophobia as well.Past conditioing can wreak hell on your life I've slso had issues with self esteem due past abuse issues with my family. My mind feels like a scrambled egg right now.MIxed up . I have some tapes that talk about children needing a safe environment to grow up in. Most of my life I did not have that.But truthfully young or old we all need to feel like we can coexist with other people in a safer environment. As it is too many people especially gay youth go into a war zone at school where they are not welcome.I have had some flashbacks of religous people who called me wicked because I said something about being abused. Horrible people, can you imagine saying something like that to a child? Toxic religion is turning people into monsters.

[dsdrane]

Thank you all for your suppot and kindness. I do have professional help but because of the emotional anxiety and it's intensity I ofnten do't feel like even getting up or doing anything. I feel drained. I know it's tough for LGBT people living in a hostile environment. I can fully understand why it can be tough and why many need psychological help. Anxiety and depression are hard to deal with but it also seems like I'm fighting with my own homophobia as well.Past conditioing can wreak hell on your life I've slso had issues with self esteem due past abuse issues with my family. My mind feels like a scrambled egg right now.MIxed up . I have some tapes that talk about children needing a safe environment to grow up in. Most of my life I did not have that.But truthfully young or old we all need to feel like we can coexist with other people in a safer environment. As it is too many people especially gay youth go into a war zone at school where they are not welcome.I have had some flashbacks of religous people who called me wicked because I said something about being abused. Horrible people, can you imagine saying something like that to a child? Toxic religion is turning people into monsters.

Unfortunately, this is very true. So many misguided people act with a perceived sense of righteousness...something u-dog wrote so beautifully about in the "Honesty." thread.

I do not believe Christ would have much patience for it.

Knowing this many times makes it just a little easier for me when encountering this type of hostility.

[Zerbie]

Thank you all for your suppot and kindness. I do have professional help but because of the emotional anxiety and it's intensity I ofnten do't feel like even getting up or doing anything. I feel drained. I know it's tough for LGBT people living in a hostile environment. I can fully understand why it can be tough and why many need psychological help. Anxiety and depression are hard to deal with but it also seems like I'm fighting with my own homophobia as well.Past conditioing can wreak hell on your life I've slso had issues with self esteem due past abuse issues with my family. My mind feels like a scrambled egg right now.MIxed up . I have some tapes that talk about children needing a safe environment to grow up in. Most of my life I did not have that.But truthfully young or old we all need to feel like we can coexist with other people in a safer environment. As it is too many people especially gay youth go into a war zone at school where they are not welcome.I have had some flashbacks of religous people who called me wicked because I said something about being abused. Horrible people, can you imagine saying something like that to a child? Toxic religion is turning people into monsters.

Ugh, yes I understand the scrambled egg feeling, and the inability to do things some days, yep yep yep.

You are correct, psychological safety is necessary.

One of my fave abuse recovery help books (it's an easy read, it's friendly, and has whole chapters of exercises for practice at home which readers can try if they like - some of them are fun - ) is "Adult Children of Abusive Parents" by Steven Farmer. It applies and is helpful even if the abuse did not come from parents but from others. I like it and recommend it a lot. Who knows, but you might find it helpful or enjoyable.

Don't put pressure on yourself to be productive right now. Celebrate how much you've accomplished by making it this far. :award:

Find things to make you laugh today. Get lots of rest and sleep, and eat healthy foods that you enjoy.

Go back to basics to get through the yucky days.

:love::pray:

[BrentRichards]

I like Zerbie's advice (as usual) to not pressure yourself right now ... I'm reminded of a quote that my mom used to love, though I don't know the source:

"Faith can mean persevering. Sometimes ending up right where you started is no small trick."

Hang in there ... we all love you!

[Jennifer5]

I have not really felt well lately,I don't want to go into reason.but lately I have had a pretty hard time dealing with memories and flashbacks from my childhood as a result I have e severe depression, I am going to counseling but right now I just feel a great big weight on my shoulders. I hope this too will pass.


LOVE YOU! Hope all is better soon! :love: :pray:


(((((((hugs)))))))

[Daniel]

Lady- have you seen a doctor? I know more than a few people who have been helped tremendously with anti-anxiety medication as well as that for depression. There is no shame is seeking this kind of help!

I pray for your peace and well-being!

:pray::pray::pray::pray:

[Alecto]

I've done the depression thing, and can only imagine how rough things are right now. My experience is not your experience and I can recognize that. That said, crazyboards.org was a really welcoming, helpful, friendly community that helped me a lot. (I had the laptop in bed, so that if I was actually awake, that was one of the things I could be doing instead of all the other stuff I couldn't do).
Hope you're doing better soon.

[ladyinred]

Daniel I do take medications for anxiety and depression but I have also been diagnosed as bipolar. Which is no fun. Jane Pauly and Patty Duke had it. So it's really not uncommon.Actually my psychiatrist really is against going to church where they cast out demons or say that depression and other symtoms can be cast out because of demons. One lady at a church here in Plano was discouraged from getting help for post partum depression, they said she had demons that could be cast out, she later killed her baby. My psychologist also said to watch out for any church like that so I am leery of going to any church here because of what my son said about the kids at school saying you are going to hell if you aren't Christian.(Why I brought this up was I got into a conversation with my doctor and psychologist about churches and what they thought and recommended)I used to go to a church in Oklahoma that I would call safe, but that was the only experience I had with a a church that was positive
I have self help tapes and other things I do,and I also read on toxic religion to know the symtoms in case I go to a church and it turns out be like that. I can't really find support through churches here but I was told there are twlve step programs like alanon that might help me

[ladyinred]

Zerbie I have a book by Robert Berny and he basically says not only can religion be toxic in certain cases but our whole society is mislead and what he calls love mutilated or love retarded.He talks about growing up in a religious home and how he was affected by toxic religion where he was said to be going to be going to hell if he did certain things. He was an alcoholic and has recovered. I notice people that come here and try to so-call debate are just trying to get people here to believe they are wrong and sinners and unless they change, well you know the whole story. I Think they are intrusive and they may have they right to their beliefs I feel people here have absolutely a right to disengage in the conversations, it seems like many on this board have struggled like I have and don't need more gay bashing. Now if someone was honestly sincere and wanting to know more about gays that would be different. BUt I have a group that I help moderate and there are rules to abide by. and we reject people we feel unsuitable.People come here as a safe place to share and don't need more bashers on the forum.