To report or not to report...

[drewcaine]

This isn't as serious as everything else I've been posting on these forums, but I feel that it must be addressed.
Dusty-ever since finding out about my orientation-has been making detrimental comments about me and slandering my name; examples are:
Butt-pirate
"You are a raging-flaming homosexual."
"You're gonna let some gay guy dis' yo womanhood like that?" (I never "dis'd" anyone's womanhood! Now I might've made a remark about how I felt that females and going emo over breaking up with women was underrated, but that's about it...)
Also talking about "instantly killing" me with a gun point-blank to the chest (I recommended a revolver instead, and said that a bullet directly into the ear and straight-out of the other ear probably wouldn't do you in) and requesting to see someone's knife and showing how to slit my (?) throat...I wasn't scared, though. He also said that his dad would probably shoot me if I even came onto his drive-way (why would I do that?!)...Agnostic families must really suck (no offense).
Yeah, this guy's agnostic, so therefore I concluded that that's the reason why he acts the way he does...he's ignorant and has no morals, IMO...and he probbie thinks the same way as I do (meaning I have no morals...he has it completely backwards, lol!).
I mean, I might only get slightly stirred in class and lose focus, but after class I'm fine...until I start reflecting on how the day went, and then that's where I get really PO'd. I know that a Christian isn't supposed to practice warfare and must love his neighbors, but it's hard to not just kick the hell out of the dude and just go off on him. I don't think I could turn him in because honestly, I've said some things about his so-called "religion", but that's about it...I think. I don't have much trouble with anyone else, except for minor skirmishes in the past because some woman was staring at me, and then yelled at me for looking at her (wth?)...Sara and Heather-we just joke around with eachother.
What should I do? I doubt anyone would back me up, and Dusty's guys probably would...at Northside I turned two seniors in to the office and we settled the whole thing peacefully (thank the Lord!) and without any fighting. This is a college situation now...so what should I do?
drewcaine

[Alecto]

First thing that comes to mind is if you're in on-campus housing, see an RA. Mine were always really cool, and this is the kind of stuff they're there for. Whether or not you feel physically threatened, the things that were said WERE direct physical threats, and that's unacceptable. They also sound like the kinds of comments that "talking it out" won't do much for (though maybe it's good to try?). If it were me, I'd report that in a heartbeat. Whatever else you've said, it probably doesn't come anywhere near physical threats of violence.


On a seperate note: I'm agnostic too, and I'd like to think that I don't need to get my morals from someone else telling them to me; I'd like to think that a basic sense of right and wrong is a little deeper than individual religion.

[drewcaine]

In apologetics we learned that one way to prove that God exists is to ask people why an isolated village would know that murder is wrong, even when they haven't made any contact with external "civilized" people. I think we concluded that a higher being had to have made us, or we wouldn't have the same basic "programming". Kinda makes you wonder why people still won't believe in God, even when the information makes sense.
drewcaine

[u-dog]

OK... so you have graduated HS? and now you are going to college? Living at home? dorm? just trying get it straight.

Can you just avoid this asshole (pardon my French)? If you can't avoid him can you pass by his comments without engaging them? It doesn't sound like the guy has THAT much in the way of depth or intellect to contribute to your life.


With regard to morality. the interesting thing is a lot of research done (by Christian research groups no less) shows that there is almost no difference between Christians and non-Christians in terms of morality and behavior. This makes me sad to hear ... but it seems to be true.

[u-dog]

In apologetics we learned that one way to prove that God exists is to ask people why an isolated village would know that murder is wrong, even when they haven't made any contact with external "civilized" people. I think we concluded that a higher being had to have made us, or we wouldn't have the same basic "programming". Kinda makes you wonder why people still won't believe in God, even when the information makes sense.
drewcaine


Ok, just to be absolutely clear: I am a Christian and I believe that we were created by God and that God has expectations for how we will live

BUT...

I think the conclusion of your apolgetics class is a non-sequitur. ("B" doesn't necessarily follow from "A") There are many reasons why certain morals might be universal. the most obvious one being that these universal morals WORK better than any of their alternatives and therefor select for survival both as individuals and as societies. That is to say that an individual organism with a respect for life is more likely to survive to reproduce than one without. AND a village or social structure built on a respect for life is more likely to thrive than is a social structure NOT built on a respect for life. "Respect for Life" may simply be a characteristic of intelligent great apes who depend on social cohesian for survival.

Just a thought...

I still believe in God whose Son Jesus Christ died for the sake of a world who did not deserve his sacrifice. :)

[Progo35]

Drewcaine:

Frankly, if I were you, I would buy a small tape recorder (you can get them at CVS) and keep it in your pocket when you are around this person. Then you can get these disgusting, violent comments on tape. The reason for this is so that you can have irrefutable proof of what was said, so that people can't claim that you are making it up. It is certainly possible to get assistance without proof, but from personal experience, I can say that there were many times in reporting this kind of thing where I wished that I had made a tape recording.

What he is doing amounts to verbal abuse/violence. I personally wouldn't let it go...this guy is saying things that no one should have to tolerate, period, and he needs to be disciplined. Your campus needs to stand up against this kind of mysanthropic (anti-human/person) behavior or it will be continue to be in violation of anti-harassment legislation.

If you don't get anywhere with your RA, I would go to a higher up. This should not be going on and threats of violence should not be taken lightly, even if this guy is a major jerk who's opinions and comments are not worth the breath it takes to articulate them.

Do you have a professor or another confident on campus that you trust, perhaps your Bible teacher? Perhaps that's another person you could speak to about it. If you visit one of their offices to chat about an academic issue, and he or she asks you how your life is going, you could bring this sort of thing up as something that has been interfering with your peace of mind. Many profs like to help their students with these things by giving advice and support.

I'll be praying for you. I know what its like to have horrible things like that said to you and so this issue really touches my heart. Hang in there!

-Meghan

[BrentRichards]

Drew -

Someone making degrading and threatening remarks towards you is always serious. First move is always simply to ask them to stop, and as U-dog suggests, to avoid them. However, if it continues, it is a VERY big deal. I'm not big on the tape recorder idea, but yes, you should tell someone about this. What kind of school do you go to? If it's a public college or university, they're likely to have a diversity office, or something of the kind, and that office will likely chase the issue for you better than, say, campus security or a similar group. The RA suggestion is also good, as Residence Life generally has a low tolerance for this kind of nonsense. If you're not sure how to get in touch with the right people, I have some experience with Res. Life and Higher Ed., and may be able to help you track them down ... if you want, PM me the name of your school, and I'll see if I can find the contact info for you (no, I won't report anything on your behalf ... that's your choice, not mine). I would not be inclined to just let this go ... people who talk big don't always stop there, and sometimes people get hurt.