Where Are You

[alisaeyes]

I was just wondering,,knowing that you are gay or lesbian...did you ever lose your faith in God because you were born that way...I have sometimes..I have lost faith in God many times lately,,,I sometimes wonder is he really there when I need hime...I know that its people who are the problem not God...but I sometimes just feel he isn't there when I need him most..

[u-dog]

Hi Hobo!

I can't say that I have ever lost faith in God for making me gay. I've always felt that he and I knew the truth about that subject and that it was all the idiots who didn't get it. I spent an awful lot of time and energy trying to get him to reconsider and maybe got a little miffed when he wouldn't do it.

But I've had many moments in my life when God was more conspicuous by his absence than by his presence. I think EVERY believer has had that experience. Even Mother Theresa had LOOOOONNNGGG spells of it. It sucks. truly it does.

Think about your other relationships. what is it that makes you feel "far away" from people you love? two things that I can think of right off the bat are "anger" and "shame"

If anger is not acceptible then we shove it down and sit on it. since we don't have THAT precise a "sitter" we tend to shove down a lot of other emotions too, including love. When we repress our anger we tend to go numb. If you are angry with God about whatever -- even about being a Lesbian... well... LET HIM HAVE IT!! BOTH BARRELS!! rage, cry, plead, whatever you feel. see if that helps.

If I feel shame ... i don't know about you but I find "shame" to be the most PAINFUL of all emotions and I will do anything to avoid feeling it. Including avoiding the people I love most... including God. So if you are still feeling shame about your sexuality and you are feeling ANGRY at God for your sexuality and your shame. Its not surprising that you sometimes feel far from him.

Is any of this helpful? I wait to see if it is before I ramble on anymore. :love:

[dsdrane]

I was just wondering,,knowing that you are gay or lesbian...did you ever lose your faith in God because you were born that way...I have sometimes..I have lost faith in God many times lately,,,I sometimes wonder is he really there when I need hime...I know that its people who are the problem not God...but I sometimes just feel he isn't there when I need him most..

Hi.

Considering I had no faith in God when I came out, there was no faith to lose.

My fear revolved more around whether my family and friends would lose faith in me.

In many ways now, I thank God for the gift of free will. God gives us the power to deny God.

If you love someone, set them free, eh?

Unlike so many people I've met here and elsewhere, I only now see how lucky I was to not have to worry about my eternal damnation when dealing with all the other issues surrounding coming out.

Having come (back) to God recently, it would never occur to me that God cared one way or the other about with whom I want to be intimate or partner...or marry.

Other people care, sure...but God doesn't.

Why on Earth would S/He?

;)

[alisaeyes]

Considering I had no faith in God when I came out, there was no faith to lose.


You are lucky dsdrane that you didn't have any faith at that time...for God has been used alot in the reasoning about how being gay or lesbian is a front row seat in h_ll...they know how to hit you where it hurts...and you reach out to god for help and comfort...but he doesn't answer most of the time...then I have question with no answers...so I guess I do blame him for this situation and just leaving me here to fight it on my own...

[dsdrane]

You are lucky dsdrane that you didn't have any faith at that time...for God has been used alot in the reasoning about how being gay or lesbian is a front row seat in h_ll...they know how to hit you where it hurts...and you reach out to god for help and comfort...but he doesn't answer most of the time...then I have question with no answers...so I guess I do blame him for this situation and just leaving me here to fight it on my own...

How can you blame God for the situation? He didn't create it; men did.

You say yourself "God has been used"...and you ain't just whistlin' Dixie! If I were God, I'd be plenty pissed about that (and I'd be planning some serious smiting...but, then, I'm not God, am I?)

(Good thing for some....)

Listen, Alias...contrary to common belief, God is not there to help or comfort...other than to give you strength and wisdom to help and comfort yourself. But you have to know that you are not alone, otherwise you wouldn't be contacting this website or chatting with me (and others).

What caused you to reach out and contact us here at Soulforce? You don't think God was guiding you?

I do.

Maybe the question you should be asking God is: why have you set me on this path? What lessons am I supposed to take away from this? How can I use this to be a better person and help my neighbors?

Doesn't Jesus tell us it's not about us...but about how we serve others?

It may not seem like it now, but you have much to be thankful for...and many gifts to share.

Stick around; talk to people; read some past and present threads...I guarantee things will start to look rosier.

:)

[Daniel]

You are lucky dsdrane that you didn't have any faith at that time...for God has been used alot in the reasoning about how being gay or lesbian is a front row seat in h_ll...they know how to hit you where it hurts...and you reach out to god for help and comfort...but he doesn't answer most of the time...then I have question with no answers...so I guess I do blame him for this situation and just leaving me here to fight it on my own...

That is, learn how to meditate or sit quietly for 20 to 30 minutes, breathing deeply, focusing on your breath, or a word, a symbol, a thought, your heart. Bring your attention back again and again- gently. Something will open up if you stick with it. You will find that 'God' - or whatever you want to call it- will 'speak' to you, but only if you get quiet enough to hear that still small voice, which, properly speaking, cannot be hear over the chatter of the discursive mind.

My own perspective is that one has to learn to find one's grounding from within. Of course, it takes practice.

This teaches one a very important thing: to rely on your own inner guidance system. That way, you won't be blown around by those 'you're going to hell' folks. More and more, they will cease to pull your chain. ;)

[Alecto]

For some reason, the title of your post keeps reminding me of this (http://youtube.com/watch?v=NEw37XWY2rc)

That said, when I hear that song, I identify with it on a faith-level, because the day that I stopped believing in a hateful God was probably the best day of my life. For me, I haven't yet (I have faith in some things, and spiritual beliefs, but the outer concept of "God" isn't one of them at this point), but I think for a lot of people, losing one's faith is a good way to make room for a better, stronger faith.

[dsdrane]

...I think for a lot of people, losing one's faith is a good way to make room for a better, stronger faith.

I like this idea. So many things in life require that we chuck away the shells of what we thought something was about before we can experience a more authentic version.

Much like becoming self-actualized is the process of removing our masks, presenting our truer selves to the world.

One of the gifts of the coming out process is a keen and often painful awareness of our own mask(s). Stupidly, we find ourselves jealous of "normal" people who get to bumble through life clueless and unaware. Life seems so easy for them.

Ignorance may be bliss for some, but not for me...nor, I trust, pretty much every one of us here.