It's long-distance...

[drewcaine]

I wanted to get some advice, recommendations, help for this relationship I'm in. His name's Cody Kevin...and he lives in Orem, Utah. We've been together for a month now and I've taken it slow, calculative, steady; decided that Cody really is in love with me. I'm not one to admit this, but I love him too. I'll be graduating one year before him, giving me time to figure out what we're going to do (if we're still together). I've gotten to know him quite well, so now I would like some information on how to continue handling this relationship effectively and maybe give thoughts or plans on how we could possibly meet up sometime during the high school years that we have left.
Thanks for reading and responding,
drewcaine

[andrewlittle]

I wanted to get some advice, recommendations, help for this relationship I'm in. His name's Cody Kevin...and he lives in Orem, Utah. We've been together for a month now and I've taken it slow, calculative, steady; decided that Cody really is in love with me. I'm not one to admit this, but I love him too. I'll be graduating one year before him, giving me time to figure out what we're going to do (if we're still together). I've gotten to know him quite well, so now I would like some information on how to continue handling this relationship effectively and maybe give thoughts or plans on how we could possibly meet up sometime during the high school years that we have left.
Thanks for reading and responding,
drewcaine

I am bumping this to bring attention to Drew's question again.

As for me, Drew, I am 53 - an old fart who has trouble remembering my real name and where I live. I certainly don't remember what it was like to date when I was young - except that I was lousy at it. So I'll refrain from giving you advice.

[drewcaine]

Well that sure sucks...well, thanks for responding!:D
drewcaine

[Daniel]

Have you actually MET this person named Kevin? Is it an internet romance? Please keep in mind that our own Dash and Dsdrane 'met' here- and they are happy as clams- so it's not like it can't work- it can. But they went the distance- literally- to test out their mutual attraction- a key thing.

If you haven't met Kevin in the flesh yet....well....that's a must. Do nothing, plan nothing, decide nothing, until you do. That's the best advice I can give you.

Now- what's the story?

[drewcaine]

Story? I thought I just posted it at the top...or is that something else?o_O
drewcaine

[Daniel]

Story? I thought I just posted it at the top...or is that something else?o_O
drewcaine

To be succint, the question is: have you met Kevin? And I don't mean in cyberspace! Just want to be clear here. Long-distance could imply that you met already. I'm not clear from what you wrote and want to be sure....

[drewcaine]

I wish...I've only talked to him on the phone. However, I've been looking into those free military flights, I really want to go to Utah and get to know him personally.
drewcaine

[Zerbie]

Ah yes, is this turning into the wet-blanket party? :(

I had assumed you two young gents met in 3D before. If you haven't, gosh and I hate to be the nasty person to bring this up especially if it turns out he's some adorable 17 or 18 year old guy like you who is just as head over heels as you are - but my god! What if this is an older adult man who could be posing? I tend to trust people online to be who/what they say they are, but when it comes to personal relationships - it is too dangerous without knowing in 3D. Am I the wet-blanket mom all of a sudden? Nightmare scenario: it's an older adult man posing, who might even be dangerous!!

All that horror now commited to keyboard: maybe he IS exactly who he says he is and you are two sweet innocent young guys falling in love. :love: In that case, you still need to find out what he's like in 3D before you can think about future plans. As Daniel says, make sure the "chemistry" is there in person, too. ;)

That means meeting each other - but if you are going to consider that - you absolutely MUST be so careful and safe!! Hope for the best, but prepare for a nightmare scenario - just in case!!
Have family and friends with you and meet in a public place. Chances are good all will be well - but we need to be prepared for the worst in case, god forbid, you've run across a predator.

[u-dog]

Well that sure sucks...well, thanks for responding!:D
drewcaine

What he means is that after years of f***ing up and chossing badly in the game of love, God finally smacked him hard and gave him the perfect spouse he needed all along and he doesn't like to even think about the past anymore

[u-dog]

The Dad part of me had the same reaction: What if he isn't really 16-17 what if he's 30 and a psycho-killer. Then I went into problem solving mode and asked "How can Drew be sure AND when he is sure how can he take a next step given that he and "the boy" are minors and live a thousand miles apart?"

Then I thought about one of my sons and his long distance relationship with his girlfriend. They use webcams. For 50-100 bucks a piece you could see and talk to each other face to face. Yahoo messenger has a voice/picture feature that works reasonably well. a littly jerky and slow but it will improve. This will give you the chance to learn how his face works and to fall in love with his dimples.

Just a thought. One step at a time! If its real... it will survive until you can get together face to face. Be careful and be safe drew!

[drewcaine]

Yeah I know 'bout the webcams; in fact I'm sending my spare one to him sometime soon.
drewcaine

[dsdrane]

I wanted to get some advice, recommendations, help for this relationship I'm in. His name's Cody Kevin...and he lives in Orem, Utah. We've been together for a month now and I've taken it slow, calculative, steady; decided that Cody really is in love with me. I'm not one to admit this, but I love him too. I'll be graduating one year before him, giving me time to figure out what we're going to do (if we're still together). I've gotten to know him quite well, so now I would like some information on how to continue handling this relationship effectively and maybe give thoughts or plans on how we could possibly meet up sometime during the high school years that we have left.
Thanks for reading and responding,
drewcaine

...which means I'm proof-positive that folks can met in a non-3D situation and etc., etc.

HOWEVER, allow me to be a big, old poop and ask the following questions:

What's he like?
Do you share interests?
What is the (homosexual) age of consent in both AR or UT (or anywhere you'd propose to meet)?
Is he out?
Are you out?
College plans -- yours? his?
Has either of you been in a relationship before?

I also agree that you should meet, but only after you both are able to confirm that the other person really is who he says he is. In my case, I had my Dash vetted by our own dear Daniel, who, it turns out, is one helluva yenta!

Then, and only then, would I consider proceeding further.

No teen wants to be told this, but: you're both extremely young. Go slowly; tread carefully; do not put yourself in harm's way; this is something to be savored, not gulped.

:cool::)

[u-dog]

Drew,

David's question about age of consent is an important one that I was trying to think how to address. You need to be careful, especially after you turn 18 and before HE does. You could put yourself in legal jeopardy if you are not careful.