Helping my friend

[antiochian]

I went to a dance with a friend last night and I could see she wasn't enjoying herself. She later told me she is going to end her life in no uncertain terms. Our friendship has been built on trust. She trusts me. I know that revealing what she has said to someone else may cause her to feel betrayed and may cost me the friendship. But I can't imagine life without her. I can't just do nothing. She has placed a huge burden on me, and she surely can't think I'm going to let her kill herself. I've cried a lot throughout the day. I texted her this afternoon and told her I love her. Tomorrow I'm calling the therapist at the glbtq center we both attend meetings at and I'm going to tell her what my friend told me.

[Daniel]

I went to a dance with a friend last night and I could see she wasn't enjoying herself. She later told me she is going to end her life in no uncertain terms. Our friendship has been built on trust. She trusts me. I know that revealing what she has said to someone else may cause her to feel betrayed and may cost me the friendship. But I can't imagine life without her. I can't just do nothing. She has placed a huge burden on me, and she surely can't think I'm going to let her kill herself. I've cried a lot throughout the day. I texted her this afternoon and told her I love her. Tomorrow I'm calling the therapist at the glbtq center we both attend meetings at and I'm going to tell her what my friend told me.


She hasn't placed a burden on you. She's crying for help. When people talk about suicide that's not to be ignored. Better that you do something about it real fast. Yeah....call that therapist. If your friend hates you for a while.....so be it. At least she'll live long enough to get over it.

If you think she might be in danger tonight then act now.

[scott snedeker]

Definitely! you are being her friend by telling her counsellor. She's reaching out to you. Your reaction will prove to her that you care and consider her worthy. The best thing to do right now, however, may be to bring her to the nearest emergency room. You may regret it if you wait too long. From there she will be connected to an emergency crisis center and stabilized in an inpatient facility.

This is very hard on you. You are human and can feel the pain of friends when they hurt intensely. The worst part is fear and panic. The damage from suicidal ideation is collateral. You should see a counsellor also to help balance your emotions as you are likely too close emotionally to make clear decisions. Even hard boiled and trained medical professionals lose their objectivity when someone close to them goes through a crisis.

Big hug from me! sweetie!

[Zerbie]

Seriously, do not wait. Call someone tonight. Her life might be at stake.

I would do more than text her. I would call her and let her hear your voice, too. Can you drop by for a visit? Sounds like she could use some time with a friend present, right there. Just sit and watch TV with her, something that simple could mean a great deal if she's in this much distress.

But seriously, after a statement like she made, you want to get in contact with a crisis counselor NOW, not tomorrow. Even if you call a hotline, if she doesn't want to call herself, they can give you better advice on handling the situation - I am not qualified. Just saying, get in touch with someone who IS.

[Alecto]

I've called the cops on someone before because they said they'd do it that night. It was a really REALLY different situation and the details don't matter, but I second (or third or fourth) that if it was in no uncertain terms, that probably means soon, and I'd act as quickly as possible. If you can't talk her into an ER, then call the police / ambulance.

If you look at the two worst case scenarios, I think it's fair to say that you'd rather have her alive and hating you (even if its the rest of her life) than not.

[u-dog]

All the forgoing counsel is wise and right on the money! Let us know what you ended up doing and how it turned out. Scotty's advice to see to your own mental health is particularly good! take care of yourself so that you can take care of her.

U-dog :love::pray:

[Vanessa White]

Please let us know, Antiochian, how things turned out. We all hope your friend will come out of this okay. Taking care of yourself is key as well. Would your friend ever be interested in the forums? Maybe that could help to keep her in a better space as well......:love::love::love::love:

[antiochian]

Hi, thanks for your concern and help. I did talk to her today. I made her promise repeatedly she will not do anything to herself--she promised. I told her she needs to talk to someone--she is going to go to a therapist. I trust her word. I told her to call me if she feels like doing something again. She wants me to come see her on Wednesday, which of course I will. Last night was sleepless and tearful for me.

I've been in her shoes before. I had to go to the ER three times over a span of a couple of years. It was humiliating, I was angry once when told I could not leave, but it saved me. Life is short as it is. Unfortunately, many become numbed by their emotional pain to the point of not seeing a way out. LGBTQ people know that kind of pain all too well. There will always be sadness, but there will always be people who care and will help us as best they can. No life is worthless. All have a purpose. No situation is completely void of hope. I still have my dark hours, too, but I strive to rise above them. My life is precious to me and to others. I will rest much better tonight. Tonight I take care of me.