Hey

[Rouglas]

Hey! My name is Ryan and I'm so thrilled to finally find a balanced group. Thanks so much!

[Pablo Rafael]

Hi Ryan,

Welcome to the forums. I have found the people here to be not only balanced but warm and thoughtful. Please tell us more about yourself.

Tu Amigo, Pablo


P.S. There seem to be a few people here who think I'm mentally UNbalanced. Don't listen to them. I'm not "nutty as a fruitcake" as some might suggest. :D

[u-dog]

Hi Ryan,

Welcome to the forums. I have found the people here to be not only balanced but warm and thoughtful. Please tell us more about yourself.

Tu Amigo, Pablo


P.S. There seem to be a few people here who think I'm mentally UNbalanced. Don't listen to them. I'm not "nutty as a fruitcake" as some might suggest. :D

What we SAID was "FRUITY as a NUT cake!" and we stand by that assessment!

Welcome Ryan! join in the conversation and let us get to know you!

[keltic63]

Balanced? whose posts have you been reading? :lol:

Welcome to the forums ryan!

[antiochian]

Howdy!!! Glad you found soulforce!! I haven't been posting here terribly long myself, but the people here have already endeared themselves to me over the last couple of months. Great people and great discussions. Welcome aboard!

[paul]

Hey! My name is Ryan and I'm so thrilled to finally find a balanced group. Thanks so much!

Hey Back at ya Ryan!

I'm sure I can speak for many, if not most here when I say we're thrilled you're thrilled and certainly thrilled to be thrilling. As for balanced, as keltic noted, you may have mistaken us for someplace else...we have no resemblence to Fox news here. and ditto on the more info thingy. we can only respond in proportion to what we are given, tho I think I did a pretty decent job waxing vociferous on this one. :wave:
paul

[Zerbie]

Hi, welcome. What do you mean by "find a balanced group?"

[Rouglas]

A friend of mine that attends a very conservative baptist college... needed to interview a homosexual for her social work project. I just decided to paste it here so you would get more out of me.


Are you out?

Yes and No. Anybody that asks me I will tell them the truth and be real with myself. However, I didn't broadcast it because I have been working with inmates in a prison for over the past year. Work in this sense...doesn't need to know my personal life.
My family knows. Not in detail, but they do know it is something prevalent in my life. It is not talked about and is very much a hard emotional subject.
I grew up in a very religious home. People in my southern baptist upbringing typically married the pretty sorority church girl and had 2.5 kids and a minivan. My sister and parents...although not supportive of homosexuality still say they love me regardless, but feel that is not what the Lord wants for my life.A few years back my father actually saw an email that had gay references in it. Out of love he said he had a interview set up for me for career services etc... when I got there it was actually
a Christian therapist session that specialized in sexual problems. I was hurt by that, but I realize he was doing the best that he knew how to do. I can't be mad at him for not understanding.


Have you lost people over your sexual orientation?

Yes. Telling someone you are in a homosexual relationship is a good filter system in society. People have told me they can't be around me because they feel like it doesn't
compliment their moral system. Alot of times people are shocked because they didn't know and tell me that I have challenged their thinking. They like me as a person. Then they find out about my sexuality and go, "Hmmm...wait... I don't know what to think anymore. I like you as a person, but I'm not suppose to like homosexuality.I get annoyed with comments like, "Hate the sin and love the sinner." It has actually made some of my other friendships closer. I want people to love me, but its not going to kill me if they don't. People are going to think and say what they want.

Pet Peeves:
Being limited in my capabilities. Not all homosexuals are the same, just like not all baptists are the same. I could care less about superficiality, like most gay men I come across. I'm more likely to change your tire than talk about Paris Hilton.


Annoyed?

I worked at a prison and if they knew I would have had extreme problems. People make gay references to me all the time. I have a pretty good sense of humor and dont get offended easily, but sometimes enough is enough. I get annoyed when people say that something is "gay"..or when people call people fags.

What are your religious viewpoints?
I am a Christian. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for me. My relationship with God has been challenged.
I want to attend church, but know that I am not accepted. I don't want to go to gay churches because I don't want to have to go to a church just to have one thing in common.
90 percent of what I come across has been judgemental christians. Which... if I'm not careful can make me bitter and defensive.
When I went to the legalistic college I had a really rough time because of the judgemental type of attitudes. People live in boxes and suffer from extreme pride issues. Basically I met people that say they know what God wants... I'm right, you're wrong. If you were right you would think the way I do. I don't have time for that way of thinking.
It can be very lonely in that aspect. Being outcasted at church sort of defeats the purpose in going. I recognize it is important for me to have christian fellowship, but
I refuse to apologize for being honest.I was depressed because I felt like satan was trying to destroy my life. Afterall.
How could a christian be gay? I would pray for the feelings to go away They never did. Christian therapists would tell me to just not give in. It was presented to me as something like Alcoholism.
I use to pray to God to take my life instead of me being a homosexual. Alot of tears and prayers later I finally said, God...you don't make mistakes. I am fearfully and wonderfully made....so quit trying to go against that.

I Try not to think of people as types. It's lazy. I Try to think that people can surprise you. They best advice I have ever heard is: If someone is gay - they don't need your judgment. The Lord above will be the one to judge them as he will judge all of us. What they need from everyone in this world is love and tolerance. If anything, that person feels scared and alone and it will take the understanding of their fellow man to help them through. So let's save judgment for someone much more experienced than you.

I've running on empty...and have to submit this to her...typos and all...so forgive the lack of caring.

__________________________________________________ ____

Hi Pablo,
Thanks... Warm and thoughtful is refreshing and fruitcakes are good for the soul. I have always had a hard time telling more about myself and I could probably rattle on forever. I'm an open book.... I'm 25...and basically holding on for dear life...
__________________________________________________ ____


antiochian,

I really appreciate it and look forward to the same experience you got.

__________________________________________________ ____

u-dog.

haha thanks for clearing that one up....
__________________________________________________ ____

keltic63,

Usually..I have just seen the stereotypes of groups.. Growing up I never got to experience a soul force. I knew that there had to be kindred spirits out there, but all I ever encountered was small doses of the homosexual community that I couldn't identify with. In the south..Bible belt from which I came from... I never could talk to people on the level of being down to earth. It was always superficial conversations and one dimensional.
__________________________________________________ ______

Paul, I think you did a excellent job waxing. It's a good thing you don't resemble Fox News.... Although.... I like Julie Banderas. Especially when she interviewed Shirley Phelps Roper.
__________________________________________________ ______

Zerbie, Balanced as in..people I hope I can relate with...


Goodnight all.. thanks again..and I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend.

[Zerbie]

What a touching story. I'm glad you found this forum, since I think you;ll find your "balanced" people here. We have all types.

I relate somewhat to questioning where you fit in when other gay people you first met did not turn out to be "kindred spirits," but only people you couldn't relate to. If that's all you see of a group, you can start to wonder if that's all there IS. Luckily, there is more variety than that.

I see you said you're hanging on for dear life. That sounds like there's an obvious struggle going on of some sort, and I wish you strength while you keep hanging on.

With regard to the 'gay church' thing: you wouldn't have just one thing in common with the people there, you'd have at LEAST two: either being gay, or gay-affirming, and also being Christian. That's a good start. You might try visiting some of the gay affirming churches in your area first to see what kind of vibe you get, and if they speak to you. IF they don't, then at least you tried and saw for yourself. On the positive side, you might wind up pleasantly surprised. It's worth trying.

[Gennee]

Hi Ryan and welcome to Soulforce. It isa fun group to be with and I hope you enjoy our company.

Gennee

:love::wave::rainbow:

[paul]

With regard to the 'gay church' thing: you wouldn't have just one thing in common with the people there, you'd have at LEAST two: either being gay, or gay-affirming, and also being Christian. That's a good start. You might try visiting some of the gay affirming churches in your area first to see what kind of vibe you get, and if they speak to you. IF they don't, then at least you tried and saw for yourself. On the positive side, you might wind up pleasantly surprised. It's worth trying.

"90 percent of what I come across has been judgemental christians. Which... if I'm not careful can make me bitter and defensive...When I went to the legalistic college I had a really rough time because of the judgemental type of attitudes. People live in boxes and suffer from extreme pride issues. Basically I met people that say they know what God wants... I'm right, you're wrong. If you were right you would think the way I do. I don't have time for that way of thinking."

I have to ditto Zerbie here, Ryan. I guess it's good to know what you believe, and thus know what you have in common with others...but you also don't want to be one of the 90 percent. Not that you are, I don't know you...just a thought.:love:

[Vanessa White]

Welcome to Soulforce. There is balance, and imbalance at times. But always learning and love and connection. It is one of my most favorite places to be in the world. Literally.

I have a partner of twelve years, and we have an almost ten year old daughter. We live in the Northeast part of the US, and found a pretty affirming church through UMC, in our small town. People have embraced our entire family, and our pastor is just awesome. I know that in the Southern part of the country it can be drastically different, but don't lose heart, or faith.

Again, welcome, and enjoy your time here. :pray:

[Jennifer5]

Welcome, glad to have you here! :)