Why did the Chicken cross the road?

[keltic63]

Yes, I copied it from someone's blog, who copied it from someone else's blog, but it is funny!

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?


GEORGE W. BUSH
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

RALPH NADER
The chicken’s habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don’t know why the chicken crossed the road, but I’ll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I’ll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I’m talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer’s market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other side.” That’s what they call it-the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like “the other side.”

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I’ve not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to
accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

[Sherrie Z]

With reference to this thread (see link), here is an addition to the above list:

http://www.soulforce.org/forums/showthread.php?t=4040


ZERBIE:
Maybe that should be "why did the plush toy chicken cross the road?"

SHERRIE:
Are we sure it was a plush toy chicken, and not a plush toy rooster?

[sailaway58]

Why did the pervert cross the road?
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He was stuck in the chicken!
:o Sorry :o

[paul]

Why did the pervert cross the road?
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He was stuck in the chicken!
:o Sorry :o
:eek::eek::eek::lol:, omg Tim...didn't you know this is the family channel? where are the censors when you need them.

[BruceChris]

O.M,G, You know, I used to be a prevert, then I was a pervert, but now, I am a PROVERT! And of course, it wasn't a chicken, it was a young child, of the inappropriate sex.

Of course, I would love to go on, and corrupt this wonderful society of ours, but unfortunately, most of that work has already been done, and by mostly by people who would try to tell us that we are the source of the problem!

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

[u-dog]

To prove to the racoons that it could be done.

[Zerbie]

:D

Cute! I enjoyed very much.
:)

Actually, though, my real response to "Why did the chicken cross the road?" would be "You are asking the wrong question. The real question is: are YOU going to cross the road?"

[u-dog]

:D

Cute! I enjoyed very much.
:)

Actually, though, my real response to "Why did the chicken cross the road?" would be "You are asking the wrong question. The real question is: are YOU going to cross the road?"


Not ME .... I'm chicken! :rolleyes:

[Zerbie]

Not ME .... I'm chicken! :rolleyes:

Bwahhh!!!
:p
:rolleyes:
Ahhh man. . . nothin' like a good mid-afternoon pick-me up from Udog.
:p

[scott snedeker]

Don Miguel Ruiz:

To be im-peck-able with her word because she always does her best to take nothing personally on the other side of the road. Anyone's criticism of her reason for crossing is their own reality and is not a part of her world.

Deepak Chopra:

Because every decision she makes is a choice between a grievance and a miracle. She reliquishes all grievances, resentments. and regrets and leaves them to choose the miracle on the other side of the road where vegetarian hindus don't eat chickens.

Abraham

Because she forks in the direction of the better feeling thoughts on the other side of the road where her connection to Source energy has an escrow created by the contrast of the road. Hence the joy of crossing to unfulfilled desires leads to a manifestation of another rocket of desire which creates another contrast and another road to cross and.........

PETA

Because the poultry farm on the other side of the road has received an order for Chicken Mcnuggets. She is leading a gang of activists to save her family.

Radical Faeries

Ask three faeries and you'll get five answers, but let's have a heart circle to express our feelings about it or anything else in your heart, without interruption while we all listen in empathy. feel free to go make love in the forest if you need to and return to the circle when you have finished. Umm... is this regular chocolate or did I get the one with 'shrooms again?

[cartierobert]

I had to read it just because I used the same title for a pst in my livejournal the other day. It was very funny and some of it thought provoking. Thanks! :dove: