can you remember?

[paul]

Hey all,

I've been having some offline discussion with Zerbie and one of the things that has come up is how far back our memories go. I'll let Zerbie tell you her stuff, but my memories are very sketchy, to say the least, before about age 7. I remember some things, but nothing grand. How about you? How far back do you remember and what's the content of those memories?

[Vanessa White]

I have a poor memory by nature, except for stuff that is really outstanding. I have had that issue most of my life, about events more than about things that I study or read. The earliest I remember with any consistency is about second grade, so around the age of eight or so. Even that is vague in spots, but when I start to remember more vividly and in detail, about houses, school, friends and family, is fourth grade. My earliest memory is from when I was about 2-3 years of age; I swallowed a bunch of baby aspirin, and can remember sitting on my mom's lap at the hospital, and a nurse pulling me out of her arms.

A memory like that helps keep me convinced that trauma leaves its permanent stamp upon us. I don't just remember the visual of that, but I feel scared, vulnerable, and upset emotionally whenever I think about that.

My daughter has a very keen memory, possibly because we have photos from so many aspects of her childhood, much more than when I was a baby. But she often remembers words spoken, people present, etc., better than I have ever been able to. She turns ten in a week. :love:

[Zerbie]

You two make me feel like my memory is a steel trap. :lol:

I've always been that way, remembering many things, vividly, if a conversation was meaningful to me, recalling it nearly verbatim is easy.

My first memories go back before 19 months old. I have two memories taking place in the apartment my parents rented before they bought their first house (when I was 19 mo). One is simply a memory of someone (who?) picking me up and trying to get me to see some animals outside the apartment window. "See the little groundhogs, Zerbie?" I see what looks like splotches of brown dirt - nothing is in focus. End of memory 1.

Memory 2 is of being restricted in a playpen under a tree while my parents play Scrabble outside in the lawn beside the apartment complex. They do not notice the sun move so that the shade moves away from the playpen. Not being one for the loud noise of crying, I decided to wait for them to notice that I'm being sunburned, but they don't notice for what seems like a really long time so I get angry.

I have about a couple dozens memories from ages 2 and 3. From 4 on, the memory becomes very vivid - as if it happened this morning.

Then again, some people who I've shared more with about this have found the way my memory works to be uncanny. To me, it's just the usual fare.

[Vanessa White]

There are days when I feel really at a loss for not having a keen memory like yourself. other times that I am grateful for it, frankly. I also sometimes get confused about what I actually remember, and what is recollected to me by a photo, a story, or something familiar to me. However, I have come to embrace my poor memory in this way. I know that I am such a liver of life in the moment, that I believe that is why I forget many yesterdays: because today is where I am fully at right here and now!!

Now, that could be me being the Queen of Denial, or a radical rationalization, or it might be something of concern to me. However, I feel the need to turn those concerns on their big old heads......:love:

[BenL]

My earliest memory is of my fourth birthday party and the special cake my mom made for it. It was before cake mixes were common, and she made it from scratch. The last part I know from discussing it with her much later.

I remember early television footage of the Korean War that was flown over to the US and aired in less than 24 hours from the time it took place. Ditto the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II, but those were when I was about 6 years old.

Oh, how I've just dated myself.

[paul]

I have a poor memory by nature, except for stuff that is really outstanding. I have had that issue most of my life, about events more than about things that I study or read. The earliest I remember with any consistency is about second grade, so around the age of eight or so. Even that is vague in spots, but when I start to remember more vividly and in detail, about houses, school, friends and family, is fourth grade. My earliest memory is from when I was about 2-3 years of age; I swallowed a bunch of baby aspirin, and can remember sitting on my mom's lap at the hospital, and a nurse pulling me out of her arms.

A memory like that helps keep me convinced that trauma leaves its permanent stamp upon us. I don't just remember the visual of that, but I feel scared, vulnerable, and upset emotionally whenever I think about that.

My daughter has a very keen memory, possibly because we have photos from so many aspects of her childhood, much more than when I was a baby. But she often remembers words spoken, people present, etc., better than I have ever been able to. She turns ten in a week. :love:
Vanessa,

I have a hard time believing you have a "poor" anything "by nature" :).

Trauma does seem to leave a mark, eh? I wonder if affection has the same impact? I think it does. I can vividly remember the kindness of a Sunday school teacher I had, like it was yesterday, I was probably 6 or 7. But 2 years old??? Definately nothing before kindergarten here (5).

Re your daughter, that's an interesting point. Do we remember stuff from a young age because we are still young and then lose it over time, or is it stuff we never remember? It would be interesting to see what your daughter remembers now, then see if she still remembers those things as an adult.
paul

[paul]

You two make me feel like my memory is a steel trap. :lol:

I've always been that way, remembering many things, vividly, if a conversation was meaningful to me, recalling it nearly verbatim is easy.

My first memories go back before 19 months old. I have two memories taking place in the apartment my parents rented before they bought their first house (when I was 19 mo). One is simply a memory of someone (who?) picking me up and trying to get me to see some animals outside the apartment window. "See the little groundhogs, Zerbie?" I see what looks like splotches of brown dirt - nothing is in focus. End of memory 1.

Memory 2 is of being restricted in a playpen under a tree while my parents play Scrabble outside in the lawn beside the apartment complex. They do not notice the sun move so that the shade moves away from the playpen. Not being one for the loud noise of crying, I decided to wait for them to notice that I'm being sunburned, but they don't notice for what seems like a really long time so I get angry.

I have about a couple dozens memories from ages 2 and 3. From 4 on, the memory becomes very vivid - as if it happened this morning.

Then again, some people who I've shared more with about this have found the way my memory works to be uncanny. To me, it's just the usual fare.
Zerbie,
Yeah, well it seems a remarkable memory to me. Will you share some of your memories of God? I started this thread though because I realize that my thinking may be simply born out of the bias of my own experience.

Now, for you to have memory from 19 months, i.e., you were actually perceiving at 19 months that you were getting sun burned and that your parents were not responding to your pleas to rescue you, is way outside the scope of my experience. That seems very sophisticated for a 19 month old. Most kids have very little language skill at that point, so I consider your memories amazing to the point of lending support to the notion of reincarnation.
paul

[paul]

My earliest memory is of my fourth birthday party and the special cake my mom made for it. It was before cake mixes were common, and she made it from scratch. The last part I know from discussing it with her much later.

I remember early television footage of the Korean War that was flown over to the US and aired in less than 24 hours from the time it took place. Ditto the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II, but those were when I was about 6 years old.

Oh, how I've just dated myself.

Ben,

So you don't have anything before 4 either? How far back can you trace more sophisticated memories, memories that employ intelligence, response in your mind at the time? See, that is what I find remarkable about Zerbies memory. She didn't just remember a traumatic or wonderful experience, but can remember understanding what was going on at that age.

Okay, more participation on this thread please. We need a broader sampling for our science experiment.:D

[Zerbie]

Zerbie,
Yeah, well it seems a remarkable memory to me. Will you share some of your memories of God? I started this thread though because I realize that my thinking may be simply born out of the bias of my own experience.

:confused: Not understanding you.

Now, for you to have memory from 19 months, i.e., you were actually perceiving at 19 months that you were getting sun burned and that your parents were not responding to your pleas to rescue you, is way outside the scope of my experience. That seems very sophisticated for a 19 month old. Most kids have very little language skill at that point, so I consider your memories amazing to the point of lending support to the notion of reincarnation.
paul

Hon' - it was hot. I don't see what's so unusual about noticing you're uncomfortable. Maybe the only unusual part is that I remember something from so early. My family used to remark that I seemed to remember things I should have been too young to remember.
Now if I could remember to turn in paperwork on time, we'd be great. :rolleyes:

[Daniel]

I can remember standing up in my crib and looking over at my sister's crib- she's 11 months younger than I am. The room was dark and I remember being afraid of the shadows.

At age six, I remember going into my parents bedroom to see my younger brother who was newly home from the hospital. He was lying on the bed sleeping. It was just the two of us for awhile. I remember being amazed at seeing this child that, to my eyes, came out of nowhere. He now is in his 40's and has three kids of his own.

This was also the year that Kennedy died- which is seared in my memory. My mother standing in the doorway crying, and the funeral procession on the black and white TV. It was incredibly somber and moving. The world seemed still. The next day there was a great thunderstorm and we went outside and jumped in the puddles- laughing and having fun.

The thing that stands out about being a kid is what the German's call Sehnsucht. I felt as though there was something important about life that I had to find out. Not a negative thing, but rather, a longing for something I felt I knew but had forgotten.


Sehnsucht is a German word that literally means "longing". However, Sehnsucht is almost impossible to translate adequately. The stage director and author Georg Tabori called Sehnsucht one of those quasi-mystical terms in German for which there is no satisfactory corresponding term in another language. It is this close relationship (encapsulated in one word) between ardent longing or yearning (das Sehnen) and addiction (die Sucht ) that lurks behind each longing, waiting to turn the feeling into a destructive, self-defeating force. Sehnsucht took on a particular meaning in the work of author C. S. Lewis.

[paul]

Hon' - it was hot. I don't see what's so unusual about noticing you're uncomfortable. Maybe the only unusual part is that I remember something from so early. My family used to remark that I seemed to remember things I should have been too young to remember.
Now if I could remember to turn in paperwork on time, we'd be great. :rolleyes:

What you remember is words that describe how you felt. My impression is that they were words you put to your feelings then, not after the fact. Yes, that is remarkable to me. There are many things little ones "cry" about, hunger, dirty diapers, who knows? I know I don't even remember the crying, let alone why. You remember both. I do think that is unusual.

The bias I spoke of was simply the transference of my own experience into a standard.

[Jennifer5]

I've got nothing before 3... I have some very unclear memories of being about 4... my memory becomes clear at about 5, from then on, things seem clear.

[Zerbie]

So I asked hubby about his memories. He has a lot from 3 onward, and one vivid recollection of an emotionally charged event when he was about 18 months or so.

[tdogg]

I remember vaguely spending a lot of time in the dirt with bugs at around 2 years old. I remember climbing into a dresser drawer to hide (my parents fought a lot and divorced when I was around 4-5). When I was 3, was going to run away and my dad packed a little box with a sandwich, I spent an hour in the ditch outside the house and back in I went.

I also remember pretty well at 2 yrs old, I fell into the coffee table and cut my eyelid on the corner. Still have a good scar there.

My clearest early memory was at about 4 1/2 yrs old, my sister was just under a year old. She was in her playpen. I found some old string and tied her in a million ways, pretending she was my horse and I couldn't let her get away. She nearly died of strangulation but was saved by my mom. Yup, I was in deep doodoo over that one! The same sister also survived a 'playing doctor' incident where I was the doctor and had to check her ears, of course by shoving a popsickle stick in it! I swear no damage was done, but she insists her loss of hearing in that eye was a direct result of my action.

At 5 I went to a friends house after school and failed to ask my dad. It wasn't long before a firetruck and police car were in front of our house and as I came home and realized what happened, felt very bad. I think my mom had left by that time.

In kindergarten (I always walked to and from school), was walking home through a field with some friends, we saw a hole in the ground with smoke coming out, and shrieked and ran thinking it was the entrance to hell. :lol:

[Jennifer5]

I can remember standing up in my crib and looking over at my sister's crib- she's 11 months younger than I am. The room was dark and I remember being afraid of the shadows.

At age six, I remember going into my parents bedroom to see my younger brother who was newly home from the hospital. He was lying on the bed sleeping. It was just the two of us for awhile. I remember being amazed at seeing this child that, to my eyes, came out of nowhere. He now is in his 40's and has three kids of his own.

This was also the year that Kennedy died- which is seared in my memory. My mother standing in the doorway crying, and the funeral procession on the black and white TV. It was incredibly somber and moving. The world seemed still. The next day there was a great thunderstorm and we went outside and jumped in the puddles- laughing and having fun.

The thing that stands out about being a kid is what the German's call Sehnsucht. I felt as though there was something important about life that I had to find out. Not a negative thing, but rather, a longing for something I felt I knew but had forgotten.
First of all, wow.... 11 months apart :eek:

I find it interesting ot read what you said you remember, because my mom's earliest memories are very similar...
She and her brother were 13(?) months apart, and my mom remembers being in the same room with her bran new baby brother and being annoyed that her mom would respond to the little baby when he cried, but not her. So she got in the habit of standing up in her crib and grabbing her brother's crib, slamming it against hers and pushing it back, because then the baby would cry and mom would come in... I thought that this was really funny, because what baby figures something like that out? Even though she didn't get away with it for very long, because her mom figured it out, I still think it's great! :D She also remembers things like Kennedy being shot and her father being almost in tears when MLK was killed because he thought that MLK meant hope for the future.:love:

--------
For me, I can't be completely sure when my memory picks up, because all I know it that I don't have any memory at all of my first two homes, although I do remember being at my grandparents house when I was really little... but my only real way of guessing is just figuring that we moved into the first house I remember when I was 2 or 3.... then we lived there for 4 1/2 years. My first memories could've taken place anywhere in that 4 1/2 year period.:rolleyes:

[Zerbie]

Just getting interested in memory again.

Anyone have new stuff to add to the discussion?

What are ya'lls experiences with memory? With the way it works?

[antiochian]

It seems I remember the stupidest things and forget the stuff I should remember. I can tell you that Jackie O. died May 19, 1994, my great-grandfather emigrated to America in November 1914, my great-grandmother was born Dec. 27, 1899, yet I constantly am forgetting the stuff on today's to-do list... I forget I have to do this certain thing tomorrow, and then I forget it the next day. Beyond frustrating.

One of my earliest memories is of getting bitten by my sister's hamster when I was around 3. Not much later, when she got married, I remember playing with her dog Petie. Another early memory is of being put under for surgery when I was around 5--I felt like I was suffocating when they put that mask over my mouth and nose...